Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Forced Marriage – Is This Halal?

Forced marriage poster for people in the UK

Salam,  I really need advice. I got engaged a few years ago, I was basically forced to engage my cousin by my parents and family pressure they know I wasn't happy with it still they got me engaged to him saying  it's for my best and he will keep me happy etc.  As years have passed by,  I still haven't got any feelings for my finance as I was never happy with the decision just because I didn't want to let my parents down I stayed quiet.

The problem is that I like someone else now and we both want to get married to each other. I have mentioned this recently to my mom that she should break my engagement of as it was never my decision to get engaged to my cousin but she forced me to do it,  I haven't got any feelings for him etc but my Isnt listening to me, she keeps telling me I don't care about my family's Izat and it will cause problems in our family if she breaks the engagement off however I have told her there is someone I like and want to get married to him.

He said he will send proposal in a few months and I should tell my family about him,  he belongs from a good family and we both really love each other,  we want to get married but my mum isn't understanding she is forcing me to marry my cousin and keeps blackmailing me if I don't marry him I'll be dead for my family.

I have mentioned the situation to my dad that I don't want to marry my cousin and he is saying he will talk to me about this when I see him as he is away atm. Forced marriage isn't permissable in Islam? What should I do in this situation sometimes I feel like my dad will agree saying I can marry whom I like but then again I don't want him getting  brain washed by my mum . also my mum has beaten me up a lot of times on the marriage topic saying I've broken her trust, when I've not done anything wrong just told her my wish how am I wrong then when I want to have my own family/get married to the person I like.

Can someone pls advice me what to do??  I know for a fact I will never be happy with my cousin I don't feel anything for him I keep doing dua to Allah hoping my parents will agree to whom I wanna marry but it'd totally up to Allah whatever he has planned for me.  I just want to know what I should do and if forced marriage is halal,  my parents should understand me it really makes me sad I have been stressed for so long now pls help me out.  Thank you.

Asx1


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4 Responses »

  1. It's Halal to do that now in the new laws that we have. And it's just gross to marry a family member. Go be happy girl! Good luck

    • What the Hell? Who is this troll? No one can make new laws in Islam, and no, forced marriage has never been and will never be halal. What an insult to OP to tell her to be happy with a forced marriage and wish her luck. Loser.

  2. You didn't need to write your whole story, because it doesn't change the answer to your question: no, forced marriage is not halal.

  3. It does not matter what your parents want or think. If you don't want to marry the man they picked say No. Tell the man this too. If necessary, send your parents and the fiance a letter explaining that you do not want to be married and want to end the engagement. If possible return any gifts your fiance may have given you. That should make everything clear and document that you do not want to be married. In the event you are then forced to an actual ceremony, speak up and say "I do not want to married. I am being forced and do not want to be married." I am certain your parents do not want this to happen. Unless they take you to a nikah with duct tape around your mouth and hands, they should realize the wedding is not going to happen. Do not believe anything anyone tells you if they explain that you have to obey your parents. Your parents do not have the right to force you to marry anyone.

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