I have been gay, but I want to forget my past and live with my wife
Past, present, future.
Helo
I am a muslim man. I am a married man . But I have some problem. I am a man but my breast is small than other man. My sexual orientation is gay. But I want to forget my past life and i want to start my new life with my wife.
What should i do. Is it excepted by Allah or not. I am in a big problem plz someone help me .
- saym
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Assalamu'alaikum brother,
May Allah Make you His Patient and Righteous servant.
Brother, I don't underatand what you mean when you say: " but my breast is small than other man". I don't think this statement is something that a man applies to himself. If you are worried about your built, then visits to a gym must help you, in sha Allah.
Brother, the orientation: "gay" is not normal and it is equivalent to following desire. Alhamdulillah, you wish to become normal and spend a good life with your wife.
You must take help from your wife and enjoy time with her. Fulfil your desires with her except for what is haram. A man is for a woman and a woman for a man. You must make use of the halaal sources of fulfilling your desire in order to protect yourself against the haraam.
Become intimate with your wife and she will respond. This way, in sha Allah, you will be able to forget the past. Also, this will help you understand your wife and give her what she deserves, in sha Allah.
Pray all your prayers and practice Islam fully, and do not keep ANY contact with people who had been a support in your past towards your desire/your sin. Make friends from the Masjid, Islamic Centers, etc. and learn about your deen, and also learn what it takes to be a good husband and always keep your wife pleased and in response, in sha Allah, you will see her love and support.
May Allah Help you in overcoming your problem and turning yourself from the evil to the Pleasure of Allah.
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Brother Saym, above is really great advice and the best anyone can give you. Dont worry about your body type because Allah swt made you the way he wanted. And if you ever need help talk to your wife so that you two can be like best friends and then best lovers like Allah made you 🙂 insha Allah you will notice how good it feels that you are back on the right path. I will make dua for your well being brother. Salam.
Bro Abu Abdul gave good advise, and also try to avoid looking at men without beard (clean shaved), lower you gaze at all time and only fix your gaze on your wife's treasures. You will insha'Allah find greater peace and satisfaction. Ask Allah to help you.
in shaa allah may Allah help guide you throughout your marriage life Saym I wish you all the best for your future with your wife hoping that you guys may always remain happy together in shaa allah ameen.
whatever was your past was past you can never look back always move forward with Allah swts will anything can happen just have strength and focus on your wife shes there throughout your life to hold your hand towards the future now not the past.
don't forget Allah's always here for us no matter what so have courage and believe in yourself that you can do whatever it takes to make your wife happy from now on.
il remember you in my prayers in shaa allah
ASA brother,
Eventhough i frown at gay men marrying women cos the sexual attraction will never leave you.i hope that you can gather the strength to be faithful...You will always have this attraction as i have never known a gay man muslim or not to ever change the way he is, i pray that you do right by your wife and stay on the clear path. Marriage is a joyous thing and you will get so much happiness and enjoy each other so much that it will be worth it.inshallah you make peace with your past cos we all got one.
Ayat
If a man says he is Gay, can a Gay man go back to being straight?
Some people say it's possible. Allah knows best. At the very least he can remain celibate, so as not to commit sins.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor