Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Forgiveness for my sin

 

Interactions between the engaged couple

Asalaamu alaikum
I was in a realtionship with a muslim guy for 2 years. He is very caring and loved me so much. At the beginning i really stuck to my religion and i said to him that meeting is haram but he compelled me to hang out with him going to theaters and parks. He used to hug and kiss me. At first i really worried that i had made a sin but he promised me that he will marry me and i thought him as my husband and so nothing felt wrong with it. He once tried to force me to have sex with him but i know it was a major sin and i refused to lose my virgin before marriage. Days go by and everything goes fine. One day we really had a big fight and i used some harsh words by mistake. After that he said that its over and he dont want me for his wife anymore. I really apologized begged and pleaded many times but he refused to accept me. I said that we had commited a major sin like hugging and kissing so there is no other way for us other than to marry. But he said it was not his fault. He said me to take everything as casual and he also mentioned that he touched me with my permission. He told me to marry  another guy since i havent lose my virginity. But how can i do that? I thought him as my husband but now he doesnt care about me and left me like a trash. I really dont know what to do now. Should i talk to him again to accept me.And its a sin to marry another guy without telling all these things. As i read that it is better to hide my sin to my future husband. But what to do if he came to know that i had loved a guy before marriage? then it will become even worse than before. How could i lie to him.. im very depressed and i really need some guidance. 😭😭 i really need Allah to forgive me for my sin.

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3 Responses »

  1. insha allah ...i'll pray for you sister...
    may allah forgive all of us...

    just go and pray heart out allah himself give you the better way my sister !! its heart out truth ho and repent to allah....
    he is best planners of all...

    even i'm also the sinner but still i have hope allah will help me throught these because he is the only one who wrote my fate....

    just pray untill u find result allahh.... will inshallah answer yur prayer soon

  2. Asalaamu alaykum

    Firstly, I’d like to thank the Creator, Allah subhanahu wa-ta’ala for his guidance and teachings and his Messenger salla Allahu alayhi wa-sallam.

    Sister I’d like to give you a quote from the glorious Quran, in chapter 58 verse 1 where Allah says:
    “Allah has indeed heard the words of the woman who pleads with you and her husband and lays her complaint before Allah: Allah hears what the two of you have to say. Allah is all hearing, all seeing.”

    My sister Allah knows the struggle you two have been dealing with, and him as a man he has no right to force you to do anything. He should have accepted what you felt as sin and become just and kind in going with your flow. Your love to him was infatuation of his lack of control. For as A’isha, May Allah be pleased with her, narrated that “the Messenger of Allah (SAW) would fondle me while he was fasting, and he had the most control among you of his limb(li’irbihi)-Jami’ at-Tirmidhi 728. My sister do not be depressed for he has no control and wanted to use that which he has no control over. Keep what Allah has ordained for the right person. It may be that him saying he loves you, and wants to marry you, and by not being causal is your fault, you think you love him. Many men, Muslim and non-Muslim alike, want to rack up points and for two years if he wanted to be with you he would have done so already. Explain to the next fellow these issues of waiting before marriage and if he falls in the same hole tell him foot sack, meaning get away from me! This guy’s causal way is taking what even Mary, the mother of Jesus, peace be on them both, kept and she was utterly chaste.

    Love Allah and his Messenger and if this guy loves Allah or the next guy loves Allah as much as you do then tell them to go with your flow and if they are serious they will marry you and no thought of sin will pass through your mind. Pray to Allah for his forgiveness and repentance for he knows what is in our hearts.

    Allah knows best.

  3. Assalaamualaikum.

    Shaddad bin Aus (Radhi Allah Anh) said: Prophet Muhammad (Sal Allahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) said, “The best supplication for seeking forgiveness (Syed-ul-Istighfar) is to say:

    Allahumma anta Rabbi la ilaha illa Anta Khalaqtani wa ana abduka, wa ana ‘ala ahdika wa wa’dika mastata’tu, A’udhu bika min Sharri ma sana’tu, abu’u Laka bini’matika ‘alaiya, wa Abu’u Laka bidhanbi faghfirli fainnahu la yaghfiru adhdhunuba illa anta

    O Allah! You are my Rabb. There is no true god except You. You have created me, and I am Your slave, and I hold to Your Covenant as far as I can. I seek refuge in You from the evil of what I have done. I acknowledge the favors that You have bestowed upon me, and I confess my sins. Pardon me, for none but You has the power to pardon

    Whoever makes this dua during the day with firm belief in it and dies on the same day (before the evening) he will be one of the dwellers of Jannah (Paradise); and whoever makes this dua during the night with firm belief in it and dies before the morning, he will be one of the dwellers of Jannah (Paradise).” [Al-Bukhari]

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