Forgiveness for having sex before marriage?
Tawbah.
Salaam, im N. from pakistan I am 19 years old. I had sex when I was 17 years old. I was stupid and careless and I realize my biggest sin.
I have asked for forgiveness many times, but I never know for sure what is the best way to ask for forgiveness. I wish everyday I could go back in time and re-do everything but I know that i cannot do that. I have to live with what I have done.
I know it is one of the biggest sins in Islam, that is why I am sincerely asking for help. I have cried over my sin almost every night for the past 6 months. I have hurt myself, but most of all I have hurt my Allah (SWT). I feel like I do not deserve His forgiveness, and I hate myself for it.
I perform salaah everyday but i do not make dua for myself, just for my family because I don't deserve anything from Him. I just want his forgiveness and I want to make up for what I have done. What should I do? What can I do to make up for it? I feel like there is nothing I can really do.
Can I repent from allah for keeping sex??? now ma situation is horribl either allah is giving guiltiness for ma sin evry time, I cant move on my lif… my life is dark nw..
Currently I cnt think to mry any 1 in ma lyf dan de person whom I kept relationship…. I feel ashamed for doing such things… allah has given me a very big punishment.. where I dropped bloods after de breakup.
The guy whom I luved is willing to mary some one as soon as possible… please sisters pray for me to bear his marriage stories which may lose my life some times. because sincerely I luvd him and still luv him while he dsnt even care of me.. he was a good natured person and he did luved me truly.. he looked after me as a flower, he was virtues who considered mostly in Islamic views, as he was covenced by his family he dropped, by forgetting the past incidents..nw he concider only his future, he din wory how il suffer.. because I was so closer to him to the maximum extent by forgetting allah… think allah culd hav punished me by separating me and ma boy friend, whom I considered as ma life and future..
He is strong enough in rejecting me, even if I become pragnant he vl not accept me as hez wishing to mary some one else… nly I knw hw I sufferd aftr keeping sex with him… in my 5 tyms prayers n during thahajjath em askin for forgiveness, and praying allah to keep me away from marriage proposals
The thing I want to knw is can I reject married life? and lead a life with nly ma parents? As I cnt afford to mary any1,Please lend me ur comments regarding this… and does allah will fogive ma big sin??? Please ma dear brothers and sisters be kind enough to lend me answers in isalmic way.... tank you.
(lendme yo comments sisterz em eagerly waiting for the solution)
- N.
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:/ why didnt you spell properly in your post?
Allah is most forgiving and merciful and it sounds like you have repented sincerely, so inshallah He has already forgiven you. He is sooo kind and merciful, all we have to do is ask and He gives, even when we dont deserve it. Sister, i think you should move pass this now, that guy doesnt love you anymore, your just wasting you time dwelling over him/the mistakes you have made. everyone makes mistakes. Oh and start asking Allah for yourself too, He gets angry when you dont, i read that somewhere sometime ago.
Salam.
will Allah forgive those people who have se at yhe age of 10 11 12
Allah is Rehman Allah is Rahim Allah forgives everyone if he/She ask for forgiveness Allah forgives one who even drop a single small tear from his eye in fear of Allah n In repend of Sin
Assalamualaikum sister,
It is good that you realized how great a sin you have committed. But it is wrong to lose hope from Allah.
Allah likes it that Hiss Servants ask of Him. Sins are committed by everyone, great or small. But best are those who seek forgiveness. Whether Allah Forgives you or not is His Wish. But it is upon you to hope from Him. If you do not have a positive hope, then what is the point?
Allah Said:
39:53
قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَىٰ أَنْفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِنْ رَحْمَةِ اللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا ۚ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ
Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful."
He also Said:
4:48
إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يَغْفِرُ أَنْ يُشْرَكَ بِهِ وَيَغْفِرُ مَا دُونَ ذَٰلِكَ لِمَنْ يَشَاءُ ۚ وَمَنْ يُشْرِكْ بِاللَّهِ فَقَدِ افْتَرَىٰ إِثْمًا عَظِيمًا
Indeed, Allah does not forgive association with Him, but He forgives what is less than that for whom He wills. And he who associates others with Allah has certainly fabricated a tremendous sin.
If you jump in slush, will you avoid wearing clean clothes because you don't deserve it? Jumping into it was your choice and was a mistake, but you don't remain in it waiting until you die. You need to come out, clean yourself (meaning tawbah) and change your clothes.
If one man turned out to be a cheat who used you, it doesn't mean every man is such. "Marriage is a Sunnah and whoever turns away from Sunnah is not one of us" (this is from the wording of Rasoolullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam)
Another Hadith from Sahih Muslim:
It was narrated from Anas that a group of Companions of the Prophet asked the wives of the Prophet about what he did in private. One of them said: ``I will not marry women.'' Another said: ``I will not eat meat.'' Another said: ``I will not sleep in a bed.'' He (the Prophet ) praised and extolled Allâh, then he said: `What is the matter with people who say such and such? I pray and I sleep, I fast and I break the fast, and I marry women. Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me.'''
You should never consider not getting married, because it is a Sunnah.
Allah's Messenger Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam also forbade his Sahaabah from celibating.
So sister, seek forgiveness, hope for Allah's Mercy, Fear His Punishment and do good deeds, learning more and more about Islam.
And remember this hadith from now on:
Narrated Sahl bin Sa`d: The Prophet ﺻﻠﻰ اﻟﻠﻪ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻭﺳﻠﻢ said, ``Whoever guarantees me (the chastity of) what is between his legs (i.e., his private parts), and what is between his jaws (i.e., his mouth, his tongue) I guarantee him Paradise.'' (Bukhari)
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Brother Rightly Said!
As Salamu Alaikum i am binnish from pakistan but living in dubai I am just start my 18th years old on 24th of march. I had sex just now 2 months agao. I was stupid and careless i dnt how i did this big sin but now I realize my biggest sin.
I have asked for forgiveness many times, but I never know for sure what is the best way to ask for forgiveness. i am really worried now i dnt care about myself i just care about now my family. i have done with my bf he is still with me i really love me also n i too do but the main problem is about our families he wants to mary me and i also wants to mary him but now i m really worried if becoz of some problems we dnt get marry. then what should i do forgiveness from Allah almighty for this big sin should tell my future husband abt my past i really cant move on my life like stop coz that day when i have done this sin today i was parying i was felling so shameful on janamaz now i dnt ask for me 4m Allah just 4 my family i know I don't deserve anything i just want forgiveness from ALLAH i m still crying brothers and sister plz help me what should i do i dnt have anyone to SHARE this and ask questions plzz help me Thank You... :''''( plzz i m asking again and again posting coz i m in problem help me
It's haram to have boyfriend and girlfriend a good girl will not talk to any guy or be alone with a guy same as for the guy follow the way of Islam people stop zinnah boyfriends girlfriends stop this stupid thing
I met someone and fell in love with them in highschool. I am Muslim, he was not. He converted to Islam about a year or two later. He is a very sincere Muslim and has a lot to learn but he takes it seriously. This was the happiest moment of my life, because I could truly see a future with him from this point onwards, it was just fantasy previously.
We are only uni students and dont have a lot of stability (in all areas) to get married yet. We both live at home with our parents, dont drive, have little freedom (as adults).
We havent had sex, but I understand that our relationship (as happy as it has made my life) is completely haram.
I cant get married. Im only 19. I would but my parents wont even hear of it & its a shameful situation so my extended family (and my father) dont know.
Im 100% certain about him. Watching my parents stuggle with their marriage made me skeptical but i know he is the one for me.
We're always together...but we always have guilt.
What then? Everyone on these sites say get married, but how? What happens when we're of a reasonable marital age - and i mean old enough to survive realistically in this world (early 20s) but we've been together for 6 years or more filled with sin?
Its so difficult. I ask Allah for forgiveness and guidance.
Allah is Rehman Allah is Rahim Allah forgives everyone if he/She ask for forgiveness Allah forgives one who even drop a single small tear from his eye in fear of Allah n In repend of Sin
And If your boyfriend force your for such sins or etc ask him to send a proposal and due it after doing nikkah nikkah is a proper way to do all this n offer salah(namaz)5times and pray foryourself and everyone alse and do astagfar as many time as you can in a day May Allah bless you Ameen
Ryt well said
Assalamuwalaikum Warhamathullahivabarkathuhu.
Fathima, there is no reason why you should tell anyone. I'm sure you will find a good husband Insha'Allah. If you need further advice please search our archives, as we have answered many similar questions.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
But brother wont it be haram that i hid my past from my future husband...and brother have i done a major sin??? All im scared is that Allah will punish me for this sin... Thank u brother for your reply
Allah forgives all sins if you make sincere tawbah and do not do it again.
Your future husband has no right to know everything about your past. Whatever you have done is between you and Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Jazakhallahukhair for your advice...May Allah bless u 🙂
it will be unfair if she dont say that to her husband he have the right to know that!!!
No, he does not have that right. He has the right to expect loyalty and fidelity from his wife. But he has no right to know everything about her past.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Sister,
This guy reads BIG TROUBLE.! I understand you love him but look at his life. He has committed major sins People always commit sins and blame it on shaitan. we are in control of our nafs not shaitan. He made the decision to sleep with the girl and now he is facing the consequences. I think all he wanted to do with any girl was 'time pass'. Once he has relieved his carnal urges his done with the girl.
He is only using and abusing women. There are many men like this in the world who sweet talk women to bed and then kick them when they are done!
Why do you think he wants a SECERET nikah?. His excuses are lies. If he really loved you then he should marry you publicly and ask for your hand via your father!.
I think all he wants to do is fullfill his desire by using you and then your history!
Sister please don't fall into this trap!
You have to be firm tell him he has to ask for your hand publicly and clear up all the rubbish with his wife and family and then you will accept or he can forget about it!
Errm.. Who wants a secret nikah ? Maybe i missed something, got to read the post again.
Even I don't see anything to do with secret marriage. 🙂 She asks if she can reject marriage altogether. (which is opposing the Sunnah - in general with very very little exceptions possible). This mindset mostly comes after one is cheated or betrayed and starts hating the opposite gender.
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalam'alaikum brother Abu abdul bari
plz take this as a humble suggestion from a faithful logger of ur website. I believe that posts should b segregated as urgent and not so urgent coz I felt really bad for a sister who was begging for an urgent advice but couldnt get it since her post was still in queue and basically she was on some1 elses comment section. I can understand that this website is very popular and the editors have to keep very busy but im sure there has to b some way ur software experts could come up with a renewed layout perhaps so we could have more posts evryday or at least a system through which the op is given a tentative date (at the time of submission) . Also a mail as a notification from the website that ur post has been published today could b of great help.
apple green, everyone feels their situation is urgent. We do move the truly urgent questions to the front of the queue.
The layout is not the issue when it comes to publishing the posts. The issue is that we can only do so much per day. We Editors all have families and jobs. Each post has to be edited, major spelling mistakes corrected, paragraphs added, and then we add an image, categories, tags and a summary. It takes time. Then the question must be answered, and that takes time as well. There's no sense publishing ten per day if they're not going to be answered.
Your suggestion for giving the poster an estimate of when the post will be published is a good one. We are discussing it.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Has this been implemented since?
This advise is for sister 'Aalia' I suppose. She posted her question here yesterday but the editor took it down. I hope sis Aalia read this atleast.
Oh lol ok. I thought i was a lousy reader or sister sumaira has posted her comment for some other post by mistake.
Asalamu alikum ,
I made a sin a long time ago.. I've kissed 3 guys in my life.. I feel really worse for it these days.. Keeps killing me inside through n through..
The first time I kissed happened when I was 13 yrs old n the next happened when I was 16 n the third one happend by a guy who insisted me on to it n kissed me..
I have repented to Allah (swt) but since I got engaged recently I have no hope for ma marriage cos I have sinned in my life!
I guess my life drew me to those situation where I had to sin!
Hopeless i'am .. I'm frm a family which is completely religious n non hav sinned..
It's the school and the environment I was in took me to tht..
Kindly pls advice of what shud i do?
Sorrowful, you have made tawbah, and that's the important thing. Continue to ask Allah's forgiveness for all your sins, and put these mistakes of the past behind you. There's no need to dwell on it. Also, keep these incidents to yourself and do not discuss them with others.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
thank for this side.
my Question what is istibara'u
A.A i have a question . i have found out that he girl i am going to marry had sex with someone 3 years ago and she is not a virgin and she is ashamed of it and asked for forgiveness from ALLAH and i am in love with that girl but i am not sure what does Islam say about this should i go for that marriage or should i leave her .
Rayan, it's up to you. It's always better to forgive people and not judge them for mistakes of the past. If you can marry her without rancor or resentment in your heart, then do so. But if you know it will be a problem for you, then leave her.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Thank you for your response ... if you can tell me anything what Islam says about this that will be really helpful. i don't want to judge her but she is really insecure she does not even want to loose me but she keeps thinking that ALLAH has chosen the men who are alike women and she does not deserve me i am too good for her cause I am a virgin and she is not .I am really confused please give me some reference from Hadith or Quran thank you ...
Yes it's stated in Quran that good men are for good women and vice versa.
But I don't know what you're confused for? If she's asked for forgiveness sincerely then there's no question she's not forgiven by Allah. So obviously she's a good girl then and you're not better that her
a/s,
me aur ek ldka ek dusre se 2 saal...
[Editor's note: Please submit your question as a new post for publication rather than as a comment on an existing post. That way it can be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah. If possible, please write your post in English - posts are published in English.]
Hello my brothers and sisters I have the same question with the person who post I did sex with a man but I didn't want it I cried after doing it and I feel guilty and always crying to ask Allah to forgive me but if I have another boyfriend he force me doing it and I never enjoy doing if because I always think that allah don't line this so I'm asking if God can forgive me and what pray i can dog or forgiveness Thank you
Assalaamualaikam
If someone is forcing you to have sex when you have said no, this is wrong - nobody has the right to force anyone else to do such things. Someone who doesn't respect you enough to accept that you don't want sex, doesn't have any place being in your life. If you believe that you are being forced to do sexual things that you don't want to do, it's important to get out of that situation. If you live in a country where it is safe to do so, you may also want to contact the police and/or your doctor, so that they can help prevent the person doing this from doing anything like it again, inshaAllah.
If, on reflection, you feel that the situation is more that you consent but then regret it, it's important to make it clear to the person that you do not want to continue having a physical relationship, and to take steps to establish Islamic limits.
Remember, Allah is Most Merciful. Trust in Him and have faith that He will guide you to the straight path.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Stop talking to men stop doing haram your welcoming them to you stop sister it's haram on you and them get married and only stay with the men you marry stop chatting sitting or talking to guys no one can boyfriend is haram in Islam if you do what your doing and it don't work out good luck finding another man better for you to stop zinnah and stop boyfriends I never once had a girlfriend in my life al7amdollah and I don't want one I'm looking just for a wife only a wife do the same sister in Islam way
Dear Omar,
Talking to men is not haram if there is a reason, for example work, or your brother even. However flirting and unnecessary talking is haram. The way you are wording things isn’t really helpful and can be confusing for the person trying to seek advice.
Mashallah, that you have not once had a girlfriend.
Dear Sister,
If someone is forcing you to do something you don’t want to do, then you should tell someone about it and its the same as what midnight moon said. Allah, the almighty, loves us all very dearly and I am sure that if you ask him for forgiveness and have truly repented he will forgive you, for he is the all forgiving.
Inshallah, my response has helped you sister.
dont worry dear...allah is great..he forgive to every mistake if we are sinful from heart....u r guilty..u r crying...this shows that u r feeling ashame...bt dont worry....allah will forgive u...as this mistake ws done in unknown...by..allah haafis..
Hi Basically i need urgent help, I have also 'done it' the haram sttuff i regret deeply. all started off when i was a really good girl and this guy he was so good to me he was so amazing he always said to me how good i am and basically we was in a happy relationshipp,, and we made all these dreams about marriage we ended up blinded by shaytan we ended up doing it committing zina even though i jus didnt want to i kept saying no bi kept aaying its wrong but it happened anyway. so all of sudden he went physco on me , emotionally abused me makes me cry everydY always swearing at me these very dirty swear words i jus waner to get away i hate my life i feel so sufficated iv been taken away from all my girls i have no friends no one to talk in so sufficated i dont even frel like telling everyone cos theyll jus say how wrong i am and anoe im so wrong , he emotionally abuses me he doesnt trust me even though iv neevr done anything wrong im so young and i feel like my lifes over and when i cant even talk to my friends i love and miss fthem so much he ruined evedything and the worse thing jis that when i cry and beg him so much to leave me i dunt waner stay with him i cry every single day but he black mails to stay with him if i even do anything wrong even if i speak up for myself and stand up he gets inappropriate pics out and he says he will email them to my beother and dad and we come from a really good family and i cant risk it well basically i talk to my friend secretly because i jus had to talk to someone and she said take the blackmail but i cant i beg him soooo much to leave me i regret what i have done so much my lifes upside doen i feel its punishment for what iv done, i was so good before a dunno whats happened i started to pray for forgiveness for what iv done I hope to get forgiven cos i reallly do regret what iv done my mum and dad are so resepcfful people and i jus let them down so much when i luk at em, i jus waner get away.. i feel like no one will marry me even if i do get away from this monster. because whoever i marry will find out? will Allah forgive me and find a way and get me a good husband im still studying jus a normal girl who got into bad company i feel like he jus tricked me because he was so good then he did his shit then turned into a possessivd physco.. anyways i Also pray In Sha Allah. Allah gets me out of this abusive relationship and help me move on. is there away i can hide that am not a virgin from a future husband, i just dont want him to find out i want a good husband but am scared my lifes ruined and no one will marry me. Im not a bad person I jus didnt deserve this I hope my life gets back on track. I jus hate myself for whateve i done
As-salamu alaykum sister. You simply have to get away from him and risk the consequences, no matter what they are. Actions have consequences. If you are truly sorry for your mistakes then leave this awful man, stop all contact with him, and accept that you might have to pay for your mistakes by being shamed. One thought - if the nude pics of you are on his phone, drop it into the toilet and THEN get out immediately. Or throw it down a storm drain, even better.
If you need further advice, please register and submit your question as a separate post, thank you.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salaam I was 15 at the time the situation happened I went to Pakistan with my family for a month eve thing was perfect then after my birthday my youngest uncle from Pakistan done something wrong with Me he used to blackmail me and say to your parents you've done wrong things and ill give fake pictures to show it to them instead of putting his private bit into my private bit he used to rub them both together but not insert it to one another does that mean I had sex it happened a numerous amount of times and I feel physical sick as I never wanted it and he forced it upon me I hate him but he's close to my dad this all happened after my 16th birthday but I never lost my vaginity just he rubbed it against me. Did I have sex with him them. I feel discussed and sick what can I do so that Allah swa can forgive me ?. Also my mum knows some things that he tried to see me naked but age asked me did he do anything wrong with you I said no because I didn't know how to tell her should I tell her as it's on my mind and I feel sick??
Sister you need not worry on your virginity...yes your totally virgin and infact your not responsible for the things happened with you...its your uncles fault he is the sinner...I suggest you to be open with your parents because they are the ones who can help you to stop all this blackmailing...
Thanks brother, but before this when I was aged 6;mu uncle inserted his bit into the female bit, I wanted to cry as I'm no longer a virgin. I told my mum she's not speaking to me I don't know what to do shall I tell my husband when u get married I'm scared he'll tell everyone and ill be ashamed I'm from a extremely well known family who is respected very highly I feel sick that I'm. No longer a virgin what shall I do ?
You should tell your father then, or your elder siblings if you have or a trusted aunt who can communicate to your father. Stop worrying about your virginity and focus on being at peace with your self. What happened was not your fault. Do not go to Pakistan again.
AAZA
Thank you Aaza but I'm worried about when I get married and my husband will find out this day and age they look down on you I don't want him to find out it makes me sick to death I'm no longer a virgin I don't know what to do? I cry every time I'm alone I don't want people to know please help me it depresses me eveytime im with my family laughing and joking it comes into my head it never goes what can I do to get my mind at peace shall I tell my husband or not my mum said dont as it will ruin things im only 16 but i dont want my myarriage build on lies is it comitting a sin if i dont tell him about the past or not??
Huma
Yes tell your mother ASAP.
Assalamo alaykum,
My Question to all scholars is if someone force a girl for sex and later she did not inform anybody about this incident.Is she have done a Sin as per Islaam And against a rules of Islaam ??
Is it legal as per islaam to marry a girl who got raped ??
please reply
Assalaamualaikam
I am not a scholar, but I feel it's important to respond here.
Rape is an abhorrent act, and must never be accepted or excused. To force a person to have sex against their will is a horrible act of oppression. The blame for this - the sin - lies solely with the perpetrator... By definition, the victim has not had a free choice in the matter.
It is not against Islam to be raped. It is against Islam to carry out rape, though.
You may wish to consider ayah 33 in Surah An-Noor (24:33):
... But force not your maids to prostitution when they desire chastity... But if anyone compels them, yet after such compulsion, is Allah, Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful to them.
(Translation from Yusuf Ali)
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Assalamo alaykum,
My Question to all scholars is if someone force a girl for sex and she did not inform anybody about this incident.Is she have done a Sin as per Islaam And against a rules of Islaam ??
If she wants to marry someone can she get marry ?? and can she share about this indecent to her husband?
and how husband behavior should be after listening ?
please reply
AssalamAlaikum
Respected Sir,
My Friend recently got married but he is facing some problems in his married life,Can you please Help with Answers.
Q1. Islaam Allow to marry a Raped Girl?? As per Girl she got forced and her intention was not that.
Q2. She was Having some boy friend,is it haram to chat or talk on msgs ??but,after marriage she is not in contact with them.
My Friend cannot come out of these and cannot able to continue his married life properly .
And my friend came to nw about all this After Marriage
Waiting for soon Reply.
Yes, it's perfectly allowed and permissible to marry her. If she was raped then she is not to blame. Actions are according to intentions. Her husband should stop being anxious about events of the past. If his wife's behavior is good nowadays then that is all that matters. Life is difficult enough in the present moment without also taking on the burdens of the past and the future.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
assalamalaikum..i am a MBBS student of 4th yr.i am 20 yrs old.due to influence of some of my friends and later due to the effect of pornographi watching i perform sexual intercourse with some call girl..that time i have not enough knowledge that it is a sin or not..inspite of this due to mental unsoundness i cant realize the nature of act.but now i am extremely regretfull for my act..i become a psychatric patient..i cant eat well,cant read propperly even my exam my life my medical carrier all are destoying..i make also taubah for my act but still i cant get rid of this..i have extreme impulse for doing suicide..overall my family is relegious and i always blv in allah fully..plz plz plz give me a hope..i am a very bright student ,my family my muslim society all love me so much and know that i am a very good boy..doing suicide is r8?
Salam. Regret is the first stage of tawbah, the fact you feel this shows that Allah wants you to be forgiven. If you turn away from this act, and make a commitment not to go back to it, and if you ask Allah for forgiveness, then the sin will be erased. So have hope. Allah tells us, if your sins were to fill the whole earth and reach the sky, he would still forgive as long as we turned to him. So do not despair of mercy from the One who is the Most Merciful. Look at how many of Allah's names refer to His mercy and forgiveness, so never give up. Have a good opinion of Allah, turn your life around and move on. The worst of people in the past became the best of Muslims - think about Umar Ibn al Khattab (ra)! Why can't the same apply to you? Make the change, become a renewed Muslim and have hope for this life and the next. Allah wants you to turn to Him, Allah wants to forgive you. Allah is just waiting for us to call His name and ask for His forgiveness. Do NOT contemplate suicide, because this is despairing of Allah's mercy, rather have hope and a good opinion of Allah - Allah will make a way out for you and make things easier. As long as you have faith, and as long as you are still alive, then there is a lot of hope, A LOT of hope. May Allah bless everyone and help everyone, ameen.
Thank you for u r response...what u say is really hopefully and fully truth.from this I will try to make my life in a right way..ameen
you can remain unmarried because Allah has given us free will whether to get married or no...it is our choice of being single or in a relationship..
nd Allah is merciful and beneficient...and he loves human beings alot...so he will surely forgive you...
Respected Scholors,
I want discuss here about my past. In my education life i use to like one guy.And we use to go for lunch or coffee etc. Once he take me to his house and tried to force me and I lost my virginity.
And I Pushed him and ran from there .After this incident i never met or talk to him.
And After this incident my life totally changed,I Hardly use to laugh or express my feelings but i tried to offer 5 time prayers.
To cover up my loneliness i use to chat on social network and fall in love with one guy again. but, due some family issues he got married to other girl.
Now, My Parents fixed my marriage with some one
My Important Question here is should i tell my would be husband about my past and lost of virginity before marriage ??? or can i hide this past from him??
what i should say if he ask me about my virginity??
If i did not tell him truth will it a cheat to him ??
NEED YOUR ANSWERS AND VIEWS ACCORDING TO ISLAAM
Kashifa, please read the answers given, and also see this post:
Boasting about sins
I know that you are absolutely not boasting about anything. But the advice given is still applicable, Insha'Allah. Also, though you made a mistake by going to the boy's house, if he truly forced himself on you then the fault and sin is his. It sounds like you have made good changes in your life as far as doing your prayers. Try to let go of the past and move on. And you may want to see a therapist to deal with your trauma from the rape. That would not come under the category of revealing sins, as it is for therapeutic purposes.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
thanks for your answer sir,but i did not get few of my questions answer that what should i do if my fututre husband ask me about my virginity ??
Do not tell him the truth even if he asks because this is one of those lies that is important to save two people's lives.
A/w
Dear scholar,
I have a question that if any body did many mistakes or sin which sometimes he known about or sometime it accidentally happens. Even if he do Salat and apologize for his or her sin in that pray. Is there any possibility that Allah (SWt) forgive him.
And if that sin would be happen again or it woukd be his habit and when he realise that he did that sin again and then again he apologize in pray. Will Allah forgive him?
Read our article, "Sin and Repentance."
Abu Bakr (ra) heard Allah's Messenger(saw) say: "No man will commit a sin, then get up and purify himself, then pray, then ask Allah's forgiveness, without Allah forgiving him."
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
you havent hurt allah . think before you type astugfirullah
Assalam walekum...
I'm sorry, we really need for posts and comments to be submitted in English, as our editors are English-speaking. We cannot moderate comments in other languages.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
im 29yr old ,,I need advice,,i lov my czn & we have done sex,,now he wants to mary me,,,but I feel guilty ovr what we have done,,,can u tell me is dis right to mary him??? I also want to know da side affects of sex before marriage,,,if I might mary some1 else will he cum to knw that I have done sex before???
everyday I promise myself not to do it again,,,bt I cant help myslf,,,I blame my parents for it why they are not thinking of my marriage..many proposals came but they rejected it,,,,if i was got married on time then these bad things will not happn,,according to islam parnts should mary thier child at the rite time to avoid any problem.
honey, you must stop the sex immediately. It is a serious sin. The answers is yes, you can marry him. Or you can marry someone else and do not discuss your past. In any case, you need to get married. You are 29 years old. There is no reason to delay. Get married, even without your parents' permission. The Imam or Qadi can act as your wali.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I was raped when I was 5 years old, I cry myself to skeep as the pain is still there I'm extremely scared for my marital life am I supposed to tell my husband and his family I don't want sympathy I'm just scared the night we make love he Finds out and accuses me of doing sex before marriage what am I supposed to do I need help I'm only 16 years of age this has tormented Me for the rest of my life I just want to be taken away as this pain is unbearable I wish my husband could take away by hayah not the sickning person who did it to Me please help me I don't know what to do ?
As Salamu Alaikum i am binnish from pakistan but living in dubai I am just start my 18th years old on 24th of march. I had sex just now 2 months agao. I was stupid and careless i dnt how i did this big sin but now I realize my biggest sin.
I have asked for forgiveness many times, but I never know for sure what is the best way to ask for forgiveness. i am really worried now i dnt care about myself i just care about now my family. i have done with my bf he is still with me i really love me also n i too do but the main problem is about our families he wants to mary me and i also wants to mary him but now i m really worried if becoz of some problems we dnt get marry. then what should i do forgiveness from Allah almighty for this big sin should tell my future husband abt my past i really cant move on my life like stop coz that day when i have done this sin today i was parying i was felling so shameful on janamaz now i dnt ask for me 4m Allah just 4 my family i know I don't deserve anything i just want forgiveness from ALLAH i m still crying brothers and sister plz help me what should i do i dnt have anyone to share this and ask questions plzz help me Thank You... :''''(
binish, if you are sincere in your tawbah (your repentance and asking forgiveness) then you must end your relationship with your boyfriend, otherwise it will surely lead to more sin. If he comes to your family with a marriage proposal then you can marry him. If you marry someone else in the future then you should not tell them about your past, as it is between you and Allah SWT.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
That's shocking at the age of 6 hell yeah !!!! Donno how a person can do something like this....incredible...n I suggest yuh to overcome your past n forget everything cause it wasn't UA intention to do...infact your a victim...and things matter after the age of puberty its like your hymen gets developed at the age of puberty now after breaking down the hymen after your grown up stage thats when you loose virginity...now as your grown up its your responsibility to be with selected good people were you feel safe and loved !!!
Have a happy life ahead take care !!!
And if again that bastard tries to harm you be clear to him that you gonna give a police complain...m sure he will never turn back at you...you just have to be strong and arrogant to this kind of people !!!
Thankyou brother ibrahim sohail I appreaciate your respsone its sickning coz the man was my uncle and he was 13 at the time, Its traumatised me knowing the fact that he had sex with me. You said your " hymen gets developed at the age of puberty now after breaking down the hymen after your grown up stage thats when you loose virginity", does tht mean i ddint loose my virginity? I just want to bleed when me and my husband make out, I want to feel like ive just lost it, that is the only thing that has scared me eveytime I hear my friedns sayin i cannot wait to get married and loose it to the love of my life, I feel guilt as I cannot give that im confused Ive told my mum im the eldest child and have got a younger brother after telling her she dont like talking to me this is what hurts the most and for telling my husband when I get married shoudl I do that as im scared theyle think im weak i come from a very high class family who believe in morals and recalling this memory makes me sick to death I just want these questions answer please would be much appreciated.
hayah
astaghfirullah. may allah forgive our sins.
I just read the blog.. well, I think that people are confessing the sins here..
oh muslims beware of sharing your life or sins in front of people as what you did maybe its intentionally or a mistake. don't share it or ask like a question about as millions of people witnessed reading ur stories and u people are collecting witnesses. what if really it is asked about the sins we people done and we cannot stamd anymore as millions of people's already know that whats our sins. brothers and sisters.
sins are just in a room or between a person or two and almighty is watching us all nobody can be hidden from allah. its allah who knows the best and may allah forgive our sins. sharing is not good... hope u people understand.
thanks
The people who post questions on our website mention their mistakes in order to receive advice and guidance. Often they have no one else to turn to. They usually do not use their real names, so they are anonymous. No one here will be a witness against them.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Thank you Aaza but I'm worried about when I get married and my husband will find out this day and age they look down on you I don't want him to find out it makes me sick to death I'm no longer a virgin I don't know what to do? I cry every time I'm alone I don't want people to know please help me
Huma
I was also raped when I was a younger kid by my uncle at the age of 6, my mum said hes just being sick but i remeber it she dont like talking about it and tells me to forget it im trying to but there is just one thing when i get married shall i tell my husband or not as i was 6 at the time im scared it will ruin our relationship and also he might tell other epople so he can be confinded and i do not want anyone knowing as i dont remember any past events just that i was raped my uncles saying he didnt do it and making it out im a liar shall i tell my future husband or not as my heart aches each day and is in severe pain i feel guilty is this normal do i jhave to tell in islam do you have to tell your future husband if anything happened to you in the past before they marry you?? i feel sick i have heard as you did not hit puperty yet yo have not lost your virginity is this right please i need answers i cannot go through another day without these answers? also if i do not tell him does that mean my marriage is built on a lie? please brothers or sisters answer this?
Fatimaa
Assalaamualaikam
What happened was not your fault and you don't need to feel guilty. You were a child, and an adult hurt you. That is their fault, not yours.
You don't have to disclose anything about your past if you don't want to, and this sort of sensitive and painful subject isn't something to share with a non-mahram - they have no right or need to know these personal matters.
When considering potential husbands, it might help to think about whether they have compassionate views towards people who have suffered hardships and abuse, as this might help you find a husband who will inshaAllah be supportive and loving should you decide you wish to tell him in the future. But there's no obligation on you to tell anyone that you don't want to tell.
The concept of virginity is often muddled with chastity. In physical terms, a person is a virgin if they have not had penetrative sex, and not a virgin if they have had penetrative sex. But, chastity is about far more than a simple question of "has this person had sex?" - it considers issues of intention, consent, repentance and purity. A person can be chaste and not be a virgin. For example, if a woman is married and has sexual contact solely with her husband, she would be considered to be guarding her chastity - she is observing the limits set for us by Allah. Another example would be if a person is forced into sexual contact that they do not want (or if they are a child, that they may not even understand) - that person hasn't had the intention or desire to engage in that activity, and they have not consented to it, so they would be considered chaste.
One other thing to consider, and it may be a difficult one to think about, is whether your uncle still has any contact with children. Is there a risk that he could be harming anyone else? If there is, you may need to alert someone in a position of authority, such as a doctor or a social worker, so that they can investigate and keep other children safe.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Im 16 years of age and have broken my hymen from using tampons due to this I have bleeded and I was not on my menstraration. I am scared for my future will my husband accuse me of not being a virginif i do not bleed on my wedding night as im still a virgin as i have not had any sexual intercourse. do pakistanis have to show there inlaws there bleeded sheets for them to believe she is a virgin?? do pakistani boys know that a hymen can break from many reasons. cant they belive you when they insert there bit into the femal bit knowing its feels tight so they should believe them?? do boys know about the hyem being broken. are we supposed to show blooded sheets to the husband?? i am petrified i cannot sleep at night plz help me??!!
IM 26 YEAR OLD..IM FROM PAKISTAN i made relation 1 year before even after merry
MINE QUESTION IS ALL SCHOLA
now the ramdan hope so i could be get it peace IM SCRAING EVERYDAY ... STILL IM NOT FEELING GOOD IN MINE WORK ND ALSO IN MINE FAMILY ND MOSTLY TIME IM CRYING ...STILL IM CONFUSED HOW IT WAS HAPPEND ITS SUDDN HAPPND WITH ME ND MIGHT BE MINE FAMILY ALSO COME IN MINE INCIDENT BUTT I REALLY LOVE TO MINE FAMILY THATS Y I DONT WANT TO BLAME THEM SOME TIME I THNKING HOW I CAN FACE THE MINE FUTURE RELATION I COULD BE DONE IT OR NOT WHAT WILL HAPPND DONT KNOW IN COMING DAYS EVERYDAY MAKING QUESTON FOR ME PLESE HELP WHAT I HAVE DO.... COZ I DONT Want get merry now im not peacefull lady i want to get peace nd would like to finish mine frustarted butt some time most of disoppintment cryid me just why i have done
please help me
Assalaamu Alaykum,
I'm sorry, I can't understand what you are talking about at all. You are not explaining clearly what is bothering you. I suggest you log in and submit a post of your own with a thorough explanation of your situation and what exact guidance you are seeking. Shukran.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Why is everyone doing that sister you could get married no problem if if Allah forgives so do Muslims it's in Islam I would love to marry you I'm 22 but I don't have the money for marriage so I'm not ready yet as long you have a great heart I wouldn't mind the truth because now you found Allah that's all that matters al7amdollah
I'm sorry but no he didn't love you he just wanted Zinnah yes you made a mistake but don't belive no one will marry you I'm looking for a good wife but to marry you is doing it the right way asking your dad for your hand this is why in Islam men with the men women with women no contact no nothing until marriage al7amdollah for Islam if he loved you he wouldn't leave you but Allah is testing you al7amdollah your willing to change I love that al7amdollah my number is *********
As-salamu alaykum Omar. We do not allow the posting of private contact info on our forum; also we do not allow our site to be used for matchmaking purposes. I know your intentions were sincere but we simply don't allow it.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
As salamu 3alaikum,
I also had a bad experience. I committed Zina with a guy I had been with for a long time, thinking we would get married. A few months ago, I cheated on this person with another guy, and a lot of people learned about it. I sincerely regret my sins, and have since decided to change for the better. However, I am afraid my reputation is tarnished as a lot of people are aware of what happened. I read that it is better not to disclose your past sins to your future husband, but what if I don't and he learns about it somehow?
Can someone please give me feedback
First step you need to ask yourself
Are you sincere about repentance ?
Why this repentance ? Just because you got caught ? Or you got upset in life ?
I suggest you to to do some hard work on yourself and do sincere repentance .There are material in the same website about repentance .Please go through that .
First Work on yourself ,change your ways ,Start practicing islam properly and then you think about marriage after few years .
By just saying today i repented it doesn't make you pious again .It need lot of effort and work to sincerely repent and change yourself , work toward it become a good muslimah again .Please try working toward it first ..
Thank you very much.
i want to join this website
What to do if done sex with a boy 11 months ago ,since when are the chances of pregnancy?
You really need some basic biological education. You cannot get pregnant from having sex 11 months ago. You also need Islamic education, since you don't seem aware that it is a serious sin in Islam and you will be punished by Allah if you do not repent.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
dear AoA
i ask u just short question...
[Editor's note: Please submit your question as a new post for publication. It can then be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah. Please write your question in English.]
Salam. I just came across this thread and couldn't help myself writing one down. I'm just another sinful Muslimah seeking some MAJOR advice from you all. I am 20 and can't believe myself finally talking about this. I've had depression for years, and regrettably, my best friend and I fornicated a month ago. Apparently because I was going through this dark phase and he wanted to make me feel alright. He and I have been friends for a year now and he loves me truly, and also strongly claims to marry me and no one else. I, however, have never fallen in love with him to this day, which makes it all the more worse to think. Our families are close and my mother really loves him.
It was followed by FIVE more times, willingly and unwillingly. I had been slightly drugged the night before (for fun), and yes I was in my senses for sure when it happened the next morning, but I didn't feel like myself or enjoyed the sex AT ALL. Probably because I didn't love him? He hadn't come with such intentions though. The first three times, I was numb and didn't know what was happening. A week after or so when it dawned on me what had happened, I sobbed for days and cursed myself. I felt so disgusting in front of Allah. I broke all my contacts with him and everyone else. But he didn't let me leave him, he told me that it happened purely out of love and that Allah would forgive us both if we seriously repent. So I repented and I was alright for sometime.
But it didn't end there, it happened two more times and I accused him of raping me. I had been devastated. But he apologized endlessly and swore it wouldn't happen again. This time I had lost hope in Allah and knew for sure that nothing would save me from the fiery walls of Jahannam now. I again broke my contact with him and told him to leave me or else I would tell my mother and everyone else. But sadly, haven't had the courage to do so. He has apologized a lot and has begged me to give him another chance. He swore to Allah to strike him dead if it happens again. He's very guilty of what happened and wants to honestly fix things for me by marrying me. But he's not the kinda of guy I imagined to marry. He's the only real friend I've EVER had and can't imagine a life without him. Which I thought would be a punishment enough if I left him. But he just doesn't let me leave.
I feel majorly suicidal now and hardly pray at all. Because what's the point? I can't even face Allah anymore, much less ask for forgiveness. I cried so much, I have almost given up on life. I cant focus on my studies, I can't even talk to anyone. I need you people to knock some sense into me so that I can fully repent to Allah, the correct way and fix my broken life. I've decided to continue living for the sake of my parents. Please give me a direction, give me a hope. That's all I ask for.
If there's anyone out there who can help me I'd appreciate it. JazakAllah.
"I can't even face Allah anymore, much less ask for forgiveness."
You're right Maria, you cannot ask for forgiveness unless you stop. That's the key. If you truly want to be forgiven and move on with your life in a halal and good way, you must break off your relationship with this boy entirely. No more physical contact, no phone, email, texts or other communication. He is not your "best friend" or even a friend at all, he is a partner in sin and someone who as taken advantage of you. You have to stop fooling yourself and making excuses. "He won't let me leave" is an excuse. You are an adult, you can make choices for yourself.
Suicide is not an answer, don't even think about that. All that does is compound one sin with a worse one.
Cut off your relationship with this boy then make a sincere tawbah to Allah, and know that Allah is the Most Forgiving and the Most Merciful, and that He will forgive you. You are not cursed, damned, or destined for Hell. Just make sincere tawbah and trust Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Allah said ask for forgiveness and directions and they shall be granted. You only be appealing in his eye when you have Taqwa, what is Taqwa? Ans: Allah, Muhammad, Quran = Islam. That's all
Allah knows we made mistakes did he in any condotion said No mercy?
I guess only when you hurt his any other man or say 2 gods or some other basic things. There is a hadees as you will be forgiven even your sins reachs to highest peaks of sky, if you ask only him for mercy. Get back to Allah ask for guidance, forgiveness, questions in dua. And for last thing your life isn't yours only. As you have no part in creating it or control on it, it was given to you. Thanksgiving
Hi i need some help. I am 35 years old and single i had sex manytimes in my life with about 20 different girls. I have done french kissing 1 million times but i have decided for sure that when i will get married i will stop all this what is happening. I know its wrong but still i get the feeling that its not my fault its the body requirement that attracts u to do this. I tried to get married 6times but something happens and engagement broke. Its not my fault that i am not getting married i always try my best to get married but due to some reasons it always breaks and i have to do all the bad stuff again.
I want ur suggestions what should i do ? After marriage i will not do it illegaly
I had a sex with 9 years old child I don't wants to do that
Bisma, how old are you and what country are you located in?
what you have done is completely haram, as well as a crime under the law. You have committed child abuse / child molestation. You could go to prison for years for such a crime.
You must stop such actions completely and stay away from this child in the future. Also see a psychologist and therapist who can help you get rid of these desires.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalam o alaikum, I am amir. Lets come to the topic , i want to request to all girls never believe that someone is in true love with you if he ask you to be physically involved in any kind of act of intimacy. They are cheater and deceiver, they never loved you but had lust to get physically. One who loves you truly will never hold your hand even coz it is haram to touch a Namehram n even will not talk over such topics. Love is the name od caring, sharing n understanding each others' value n moral off course.
Further if u had been cheated by someone n now u repented sincerely then dont loose hope n dont think u will not get any good husband, definitely u will get good guy if u made urself good n yeah never look into past of ur husband n or he will do the same with you. Also i had read a statement of girl who was cheated by a guy badly n she did suicide i think as his dad died coz of heart stroke due go her act known to all and at that time when i read about her then i felt i must marry her n save her life n all but that was late I think n she did suicide not sure. May ALLAH swt forgive her, me n you all bro n sis. So never lose hope there are many guys and girls who are kind hearted n good one. I really feels sometime like i should marry a girl who is in such a situation that let her felt bad n sad all time and by the grace of ALLAH swt i give her a good n happy life n rsise a light in her life becoz most of time boys are on fault side in most of relationships i accept it n felt bad coz i m also boy n these things gave rise a question of honesty of boys but all are not alike yeah it doesnt mean we should try all so better search a good guy by way of your parents (not chating over sites n all ) and get marry then.MAY ALLAH swt help all of us .Ameen.
Aameen...
I feel so sorry for you. Im not a muslim but reading this i cryed for the situation you are in. I think that God is mercifull and wise and loving and he will forgive you as your sincerly in pain and recognise your sin and are truly sorry for it.
Its the people you should worrie about, people often judge others sins when they have no right to judge at all; please speak with your mother or aunty or someone you can trust ....and as for the guy ...."he may have loved you in the flesh"...but if he had a pure true love he would never have put u in a situation to ask you to agree to doing this with him. The man should be judged by God/Allah and my advice would not to wast your love on him.
I pray you find peace.
Fay x
Salam
I am webbed in a hectic life
I am a boy and some people raped with me when I was aged 7/8
And I had been doing sex since my 18 years age
My cousins did this to me who is 9 months elder than me? ?
Now my question is I had no idea what's sex ?
is this a sin in Islam?
Now I am 22 and from age of 18 I got this a big sin and I promised my self I will never repeat this sin
And I love my Allah And Nabi more than anything else
I am so confused
Will I be a good person closed one to Allah too
As I did all this unknowingly please tell me
I would like to be so closed to my Nabi
I would like to be loved by Allah
As I didn't know till time that was a sin? ?
I used to think it's just a private game and doing b/w boys is not a sin
Actually I had no idea
Walaikumsalaam Hamza
There are several posts on this site regarding the same issue you have written about. Please read through those. If you want to ask anything more, please submit your question as a new post.
Thank you
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com
Assalamualaikum
I know i have committed the biggest sin of my life. When i was 16 i got engaged in a relationship with this guy(17 yrs) i loved him truly. We were together for almost 3 yrs, we had sex and i also caught him cheating on me 2-3 times but never broke up with him as he use to say i swear by mother that i love you. I wanted to marry him, he use to say that he will marry me. He broke up with me aftr 3 years, i was shattered, i tried to move on but then i discovered that i was pregnant, i told him and he gave me these pills to kill the child in my womb. He was in a relationship with some other girl but he told me that he still loves me and haven't touched his gf. But he didnt broke up with her. He met me again and had sex with me, i was so stupid to do such a thing again just because i wanted him back as i was head over heels in love with him. He started treating me very badly i never looked at any other guy. After a few months one of his friends told me that he had sex with his other gf and many other girls including some of his friends. I was broke, i literally cried the whole time, then in a fit of rage, i met his brother and i dont know how it happened.. I was crying and he was telling me that his brother had sex with other girls and how he (my ex bf's brother) loves me truly, maybe i was vulnerable i had sex with his brother. I came home a cried again because of all the sins i have committed. His brother messaged me about this incident from his phone and i dont know how my ex read all the texts.
Then my ex texted me and was crying and shouting, and was claiming that he loves me alot and how he wanted to marry me because i was the only girl he ever loved and then he abused me and called me a slut,which i think is right as i had sex with his brother. I am feeling so guilty, i apologized from my ex a couple of times cried in front of him badly and told him it was all a mistake. But he is not ready to forgive me. I cried in my prayers and asked for forgiveness from Allah (swt) i am crying from that day onwards and feeling so guilty that i hurt the guy that i loved. I DONT KNW WHAT TO DO, I KNOW I AM NOT A GOOD PERSON. I just want Allah's (swt) forgiveness.
Is the sin of zina will be forgiven if they get married?
Assalamualaikum
I m in love with a girl and we both have had sex and wishes to marry each other and we have been in the relationship for almost 1 year and we know that we committed zina and we don't want to do any such thing again and instead marry each other.... But recently that girl confessed to me that she had a sexual relationship in past with someone else which she regrets very much.
She is from a family of a Hindu mom and Muslim father and from childhood she had been with her Hindu relatives and family,away from parents and she didn't know anything about Islam but since she met me she is becoming bit by bit religious but after all we committed zona and since she confessed to me about her past, its difficult for me to forget and move on because her past haunts me ... Please help me, suggest me something for how do I forget these things and marry her and ask for forgiveness from Allah ...please help me... M in a need of immediate solution bcoz my parents wants me to marry and I don't know if I could ever forgive her and be in a married relationship with her.
ahaan, You are hardly one to judge her, since you have committed the exact same sin. What on earth do you have to forgive her for? You should worry about seeking forgiveness for your own sins.
If you cannot stop obsessing over the girl's past, then leave her and let her find someone who will not hold her past against her.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
There was this girl that i loved and she used to love me deeply but her parents hated me when i spoke to them so i completely cut off all ties with her without saying anything, and eventually she started to despise me. We never took our relationship to any physical level because I don't feel comfortable playing around with peoples family members. But now whenever i think over that time i feel a little sad thinking about how happy we were together. Sometimes you have to fight for your relationship, don't give up so easily.
And never forget that ALLAH is always willing to forgive, your sins are not bigger than ALLAH's forgiveness. And the best cure for 2 people madly in love is marriage, regardless of what you did already, ask for repentance for before and with everything after, marriage will make it halal.
Its sad that our communities make it hard to marry those we love, but that's what most of us have to deal with. And ALLAH has already got the person that is right for us somewhere in the world doing their own thing. So we just have to have patience until we meet our soulmates, and ALLAH will guide our paths for us.
Assalamu Alaikum, i'm 19 yrs old , i was in love with a boy for two months and i trusted him alot . Once he forced me to send the private part photos , i sent it bcz i feared of loosing his relationship, and after some days he seemed to be avoiding me and i also just wanted to be like him. And i didn't even contacted him, but now again he mesaages me and forcing to love him but i refused ,nw he says that he will share my photos in facebook. Now i realize what sin i have made , evry day i ask for forgiveness from allah but i have no ways to delete those photos , i don't know what to do now , my exams are nearing and im helpless, please give some hopes and ideas to be followed.
aaysha, we have published this identical question from other members who made the same mistake. Please search our archives.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalamualaikum, im hana 18 yrs old. I was in a relationship with a boy since 2014. At first we started talking over the phone and later we met each other. He kissed me and touched me , i too did the same but we did'nt hv sex. He wanted me to complete my studies so we stopped talking and meeting each. Some times we put 2/3messages but now it is also stopped, though we have no contacts we love each other truely. I want to knw is my relationship is haram or not as we don't hve contacts, is my affection for him is haram? I cannot leave him either, i want a clear explanation for this as bcz now i feel guilty of what i have done with him.
The man whom I loved is married but he loves me a lot mean while he take care of this family to he is very helpful he helps everyone in need he is ready to marry me but I am scared that what will my parents say and I don't want to break my mom and dad heart. I love him too very much. And many times I kissed and huged him.
Sakina, leave him alone with his family. You have no business carrying on with him in any way, let alone getting physical with him. This is a serious sin. Leave him alone and find someone else.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
All of u plz pray for me plzzzzz mary leyia dua karen main ny apne life k sath bot galat kr deya ha
I know you have created a sin but Allah will forgive you if you follow his rules Allah is all about forgiveness and he gives you time to fix your mistakes
I have a similar situation....but I'm a boy...its weird that a girl of my community took my virginity n didn't gave a second thought before leaving
You should first of all leave all the past things behind!! Beleiv that what plans Allah has for u is the best plan!! He is closer to us more than the nerves and arteries of our body. Shut that guy off like how u shut down a computer.. & when the old electronics get really old fashioned we don't stop using the items!! We just change the model of it.. so leave him... Allah has kept someone you deserves you... n he'll be yours legally as he will give keep your word for the rest of your life May Allah bless all of us with the best
Brothers and sisters my name is Tahir and I am 25 years of age ....I need an urgent suggestions to save a girl from sharing bed with a guy to whom she loves. **Contact details removed by editor** .. I really want to save her from this biggest sin as she is my best friend and therefore I care for her aakhirah...
Assalaamualaikum
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It is not Islamically appropriate for you to have a close friendship with a non-mahram member of the opposite sex, so you should not have a "best friend" relationship with this girl.
If you are concerned, then before you take steps to distance yourself from her, encourage her to make friends with pious Muslimahs, maybe by attending a prayer group or women's resource centre. Maybe even point her towards websites such as this one where we have numerous posts about people in similar situations.
Ultimately, though, her aakhirah is her responsibility, not yours. You need to focus on your own.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Salaam. I don’t know how to say this but I have been having problems with my family for a long time ... my mother passed away when I was little , I got raised by my auntie but my auntie wasn’t a nice auntie , so I had to move in with my older sister who’s married and we don’t really have the best relationship as sisters so and kicked me out , so I decided to stay over with my bf. ( I know is haram having a bf !) but I have no other place to stay so my only choice was his place or he homeless anyways let me get to the story ,we committed The sin (sleeping together ) and I swear deep down I wish my life could of been different , I wished I never did the things I did but I feel more bad because I did it more than once , how can I ask Allah to forgive me and take me out of this situation.
salam guys, my name is Ali im 20 years old I live in USA my family moved here when I was like 7 years old so I pretty much grew up here I've made so many mistakes in my life but last week I made the biggest mistake of my life I had sex with my gf I didn't want to do it I swear it just happened we couldn't control ourselves I've always told myself that I would never have sex before marriage and I did well for many years for controlling my self until that day I just couldn't control myself and I regret it I feel sick and ik having a gf is a sin too but having sex is one of the biggest I grew up in a place where having gfs and all that was normal but still I can't blame this on anything I ask Allah forgiveness every single day but I don't know if I would be forgiven I cant even forgive myself it feels like everything stopped for me my life changed a lot I don't even hang out with my friends I feel sick plz help me:(
Salam Ali, I am a 20 year old female living in the USA as well and I am in the same situation. I had a boyfriend and we got physical (astaghfurrallah). After I realized the enormity of my sin, I ended things with him and immediately started repenting. I feel so much guilt and regret, and I will repent forever. There are some days when I feel almost normal again, but something will remind me of my past and I will be depressed again. Here is what I have been doing to try and move on;
1. Pray fard and sunnah prayer and make dua after every prayer.
2. Make dua asking Allah for these things: I ask Allah to forgive me, to stop the Shaytaan from whispering and making me think about my past and despair in Allah’s mercy, to tie my heart and give me firmness of heart, to intervene in my emotional state and make me feel forgiven and pure again, to not let me dwell on the past and instead let me be hopeful about the future.
3. I pray voluntary prayers so I can have more good deeds
4. I try to volunteer in the community by helping those in need
5. I help my family more with cooking and cleaning.
6. I read Quran, tafseer, and watch many Islamic lectures
7. I am memorizing surahs of the Quran
8. I make dua every single time I think about my sin. I ask for forgiveness and ask Allah to guide me and grant me mercy in this life and the next.
9. I wake up before fajr so that I can pray Tahajjud. I promise you, making dua during this time feels magical. One the days that I do this, the next day feels full of hope. Please try it.
10. I cut off all communication with the boy. It is the only way to truly move on, because one of the components of sincere tawba is cutting off the sin and vowing to never return to it. You really need to either break up with your girlfriend or make plans to marry her, but stop all haram communication immediately.
It has been several months and I still don’t feel like myself, but I am praying that I will go back to normal one day. I am keeping you in my duas, please keep me in yours. Inshallah we will get through this and find ourselves stronger and better Muslims than we ever were before.
I don’t hang out with my friends a lot either. Everyone feels so gloomy and different now. But Allah can intervene into your emotional and mental state if you ask Him to, and He can make you feel normal, pure, chaste, and good again. It is possible, but you just have to do the correct actions and stay consistent. Never stop praying or making dua. Always repent, but don’t let the guilt paralyze you. You have to do your best to move forward. Even if it feels fake or forced at first. With time, things will feel normal again. Be patient, and ask Allah to give you sabr.
@Muslim_Hope Thank you so much I really appreciate it I'm glad someone replied I couldn't talk to anyone about this in person I didn't tell my friends because I thought they would judge me I was trying my best to hide it to was too much to bear had to get it off my chest it was killing me I feel so much guilt and regret I make dua every single day asking Allah forgiveness i wish I could go back and change everything ig I just have to live with this for rest of my life i just hope my parents never finds out about this I don't want them to be ashamed of me:( I've made the biggest mistake but I'm a bad person I hope one day Allah would forgive me and what you're doing is truly amazing Mashallah you're way stronger than me you're volunteering for community and helping other you already seems to be on the right path just keep doing what you're doing you shouldn't be depressed or anything just never stop praying Allah will help you and please keep me in your duas thank you.