Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Forgiveness from Allah for a shameful sin.

Lonely man walking away.

I am a 19 year old boy. I am very ashamed for I have commited a very bad sin. I masturbated mutually in the holy month of ramadan with a boy. I am very ashamed so please dont judge me. I am very ashamed and I promise to never do it again. I promised I will not do it before too but I broke, but this I will never break it.  Please tell me, will I be forgiven please?


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7 Responses »

  1. InshaAllah you will be forgiven. Allah forgives all sins if His slaves repent (i.e. do tawba). The requirements of tawba being accepted are as follows:

    1. That the sinner feels that s/he did a sin, and therefore regrets the act.
    2. Turn to Allah and ask His forgiveness. A 2-rakats of prayer should be offered. At the end of the prayer ask Allah's forgiveness.
    3. The third condition is that while doing the tawba the sinner must have the resolve in the mind that s/he will not repeat that act of sin again.

    In addition you can also recite the followings:

    1. Astagfirullah Rabbi min kulli jambiw wa tu bu ilaihi.
    2. Doroude: Allahumma salli a'la sayyidina Muhammad wa a'la alihi wa sallim. (Anyone who recites this 3 times, his/her sins are forgiven before s/he stands up if he is seated, or before s/he sits down if s/he is standing).

    But the condition of all these, i.e., for Allah (SWT) to accept the tawba is "the condition of his/her mind", by which I mean that the person should have a soft mind with humility and piety while seeking forgiveness to Allah.

    Was salam

  2. Salam dear brother!

    I'm going to be honest with you.
    Usually, when I hear things like this, I get all grumpy, and am quick to judge.
    However, there is something different about you.
    You reminded me of all the terrible, terrible things I've done, and still do. I just realized I can't go around getting mad at other people for what they do, when I myself, am no better and also need to ask for forgiveness as well.
    So, thank you, brother.

    Anyway, the mere fact that you feel some sort of guilt for your doing, is a major gift from Allah tala. So, start by thanking Allah for giving you that, because sometimes Allah doesn't even let someone feel guilt for what they did as a way to lead them astray (which is a huge punishment in a way, if you think about it).

    Stay away from this boy, and FIND BETTER COMPANY. I'm telling you, the people you chose to be with will either bring you closer to Allah, or drag you right down to Hell along with them.

    Start listening to some lectures on YouTube. Nouman Ali Khan, Mufti Menk, along with many, many other great scholars are all wonderful examples.

    Go to the Masjid and I'm sure you will meet some wonderful friends there.

    And this time, keep your promise.

    By continuing to do something that Allah knows is not good for us, you're just going to make your life worse. I'm telling you.

    Insha Allah, everything will be okay. May Allah continue to guide you, protect you, and give you the highest level of Jannah. Amen.

  3. Dear Brother,

    if you sincerely repent then insha-allah you will be forgiven.

    Indeed, Allah has opened the door of repentance to every sinner.

    "O son of Adam, as long as you call upon Me and put your hope in Me, I have forgiven you for what you have done and I do not mind. O son of Adam, if your sins were to reach the clouds of the sky and then you would seek My forgiveness, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, if you were to come to Me with sins that are close to filling the earth and then you would meet Me without ascribing any partners with Me, I would certainly bring to you forgiveness close to filling it."

    The Prophet (pbuh) said,

    : “The one who repents from sin is like one who has never sinned.”

    "Oh people, repent to Allah, for indeed, I repent to Allah 100 times every day" [Muslim : 2702]

    So, just do sincere repent and never ever return to that sin. Keep yourself busy, serve your parents, improve yourself as Muslim, do some charity works and you will be fine.

    I would recommend to keep some Nafl Fasts.

    Your Sister

  4. Salaam brother,

    After reading your post you made me realize how I myself am a human being and have made mistakes as well. We are no one to judge others only Allah can judge. You should commend yourself for being able to accept that you did wrong, and are truthfully asking for forgiveness.

    Allah (SWT) is forgiving and most merciful. Now the fact that you are asknig for forgiveness doesnt mean you go off and do the same thing again, but refrain from it.

    tc and I hope things get better for u inshAllah

  5. Asalaam alaikum,

    As suggested above, you really need to do some introspection as to why you would befriend and continue to keep a person who openly joins with you in sin. Needless to say, you can no longer be around this person because of the corruption of your sexual behavior and the traps that come along with it. You need to disassociate yourself from this person and if asked why, need to courageously explain to him that you no longer want to be around him.

    Many questions come to mind as to who this person is in your life and why you have access to private places where you do these things. If he is a relative or a family friend, especially someone who can manipulate you intellectually or overpower you physically, this is an obvious danger to yourself. Please take the steps necessary to protect yourself if that is indeed the circumstances you find yourself in right now.

    Also, you need to assess as to why you've chosen this path of deviant sexual gratification while many sources of activity and marriage are available to you? It is evident that marriage has become obligatory upon you and so you need to discuss this issue with your parents and those pious men in your community who may be able to help find a wife for you. This needs to be done before more of the disastrous effects of masturbation get a hold of your subconsciousness and lead you down a very crooked path of self-inflicted pain with a warped sense of sexuality.

    Please examine your current behaviors that lead you to commit such sins and try to identify what it is exactly that is causing this crisis in your life. Already, you've tried repenting, but have returned to the sin, so there is something missing from your practical steps to avoid this problem. Carefully look at how your sexual expressions develop and arise to such levels that it becomes Satanic and exercise the steps to curb this path by channeling these energies into other ways that become halal for you. Again, choosing to pursue marriage and working to that goal by reforming yourself would be a step in the right direction.

    I would also like to say not to think of yourself as homosexual, if you indeed fear that about yourself. Yet, mutual masturbation should never be seen as something light-hearted with the same sex, as it can lend itself to dire consequences including homosexual behaviors, so this must be avoided at all costs. So please consider that aspect of one sin leading to another.

    Deviant behaviors are usually the misdirection of our desires manifested into the wrong arenas. What we must do is recognize where they start and curtail their formation. You need to understand that while you are peaking through an increase of your hormonal sexual libido, you must learn how to control it and rise above the animalistic lusts. Intellectually explore your perceptions of your sexuality, patterns of occurrence and how you fuel these thing in your life that leads you to this sin. It is then that you will develop the basis of combating this problem that you are suffering through and then, you will be able to overcome it.

    Insha'allah, you till be able to recognize what is driving this sin. Make dua and ask Allah (swt) for strength, wisdom and modesty in this time. Remember to practice your hijab, observe Islamic limits of associations and return to the Right Path.

  6. I'm 18...I comitted a dreadful sin,I lied and I don't feel ok...I've been depressed ever since.everyone finds it hard to believe...and I'm very sorry for this...what can I do

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