Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Former fiance is dealing drugs and I think his friend is pimping – should I go to the police?

Bags of marijuana, pot, weed, cannabis, drugs.

Bags of marijuana.

As-Salaam-Alaikum everyone,

Eid is almost upon us, Eid Mubarak to everyone. But here I am in what feels like a horrible situation.

A fair while back I met with the man who I thought I would marry. I thought Allah had sent him, a real gift from above. He seemed too good to be true, but I met all his family, so lovely, they all loved me and they approved of the marriage, although my parents had some doubts as to his true character and whether he would make a good husband, but we got to know each other slowly.

He was always going on and on about how important it is to do as God says and that he is a good, clean-living Muslim.

But as we got to know each other, cracks would very soon appear in his behaviour to show me that he was just that, too good to be true. Chain smoking, some drunkenness, use of cannabis, very lazy, not willing to seek a job, he began to criticise me, insulting my body, calling me terrible names, zina of other woman on the street, pornography and dating sites.

I gave him quite a lot of money when he had none at all and when I asked for it back he pretended not to know anything about it. He was even physically violent once and tried to set my clothes on fire in a fit of jealously but I forgave him.

But then I found a very large amount of cannabis in his flat. There were already some odd signs that he was not just using it very regularly and heavily, but also selling it, prepacked bags of it ready to give to other people, people knocking on his window, the parcels passed out to them, but I did not want to believe it at first, as with the other signs, I did not want to believe it at all. I loved him. But I could not deny what I found there in my hands and before my eyes? There must have been over 1 kg of cannabis. I asked him about it and he said it was not his although I found it in his jacket. Then he changed his story, several times. Lying on top of the lies.

Following many more lies and attempts to manipulate me, finding out that shortly after Ramadan he had also purchased membership on a cheater's website and even tried to get more money out of me, I have ended the relationship. I am sure Allah has saved me from pending doom but it has still taken weeks and weeks to start to feel relatively alright again after all the abuse and the realisation of who he really is. It has left me a little bit depressed. Luckily for me he now lives many miles away from me.

My question is, is it my duty to inform the police of what I know? Is it the right thing to do? I have known about this for some time but done nothing.  Almost a fear that Allah will punish me for "causing problems" for him and all the people involved and especially as Eid is here and we are meant to do good deeds, that our good deeds are enhanced and our sins become worse. I feel torn on the one hand, I know it is a group of people he is involved with, I know some of their names.

There is one "friend" in particular, who is definitely involved in the dealing, I am 99% convinced he is also pimping after seeing him many times with different very young looking Asian women, dressed as a poor prostitute would be expected to dress, very short skirt and high heels and he is with them on the street. He used to bring them around to my partner's home to use the WC and I thought it odd that he didn't take them to his home as he lived 100 yards away if that. None of these women seemed able to speak any English either. This man has no real job to speak of but always has money and very expensive watches etc. Once I wanted to buy a laptop and this friend had one for sale but I was advised not to buy it as it "may have been stolen".

I spoke briefly to the police and they said I could make a statement about what I know and that when I was ready to contact them and they would protect my identity in their investigations.

So I feel torn because it feels as if crime was going on right there under my nose, I did nothing about it and I should have done right there and then. What is so very sad is that they all go about pretending to be good Muslims when they are actually all criminals.

Would it be the action of a good Muslim to report them? I am also afraid of any backlash although the police promised confidentiality. Please help me someone!


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8 Responses »

  1. Dear Sister, Walaykumsalaam,

    Alhumdulillah you have been saved from being dragged into such a disasterous situation. Please keep far far away from these people.

    It is your duty to inform the police of what you know as soon as possible. Dealing in drugs is an extremely serious and dangerous worldwide issue/crime and destroys the lives of many vulnerable people every day. It is closely linked with human trafficking/prostitution which is just as destructive, evil and dangerous. Although you do not have solid proof that these men are involved with this crime, it is not your place to be investigating further. Just inform the police of what you know and leave the rest to them.

    Allah(swt) says: ‘O you who believe! Take care of your ownselves. If you follow the (right) guidance [and enjoin what is right (Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do) and forbid what is wrong (polytheism, disbelief and all that Islam has forbidden)] no hurt can come to you from those who are in error’
    [al-Maa’idah 5:105]

    And the Messenger of Allaah (sws) said, ‘When the people see an oppressor but they do not try to stop him, soon Allaah will cause all of them to suffer punishment because of him.’” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2168; Abu Dawood, 4338; Ibn Maajah, 4005). This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Tirmidhi and Ibn Hibbaan, 1/540.

    He(sws) also said: "Whoever of you sees something wrong, let him change it with his hand. If unable to, then let him change it with his tongue. If unable, then with his heart. And that is the weakest degree of faith."

    (Also see this link:

    So take care and protect yourself first, then speak to the Police. DO NOT get involved with these people yourself at all.


    Please see this link below for information on the trading of illegal drugs and prostitution/trafficking:

    SisterZ Editor

    • Additionally, I think you should keep your identity anonymous. And request the police to do so, too. This is just to ensure that you are not in trouble of any sort.

      Muhammad Waseem Editor

  2. Wa'alaykumsalam,

    I believe, your best course of action would be to remain silent. Its best if you drop this matter and don't approach the police. Even though this is a serious crime, your life is most important.

    I say so because,

    - You entered his home, found drugs and also confronted him with it. So if you call the cops, he would obviously suspect that its you who informed the cops.

    - Since your and his family met, it'll be easier for him to haunt you down, if freed from jail. This is risky.

    - You ' THINK ' his friend is pimping. You aren't sure. So calling cops would be a terrible idea.

    - Even though if you're certain, he will suspect you. Again its risky.

    - Police might be able to hide your identity, but its risky too because, that man you are dealing with obviously has a gang and they would make sure they eliminate all loose ends. Once again suspecting you.

    If you were a man, I would advice otherwise most probably.
    You are a girl and you don't need to be in unnecessary life and death situation.

    Thank Allah for exposing him. You've done your part by breaking off ties. That man is the biggest hypocrite ever. He speaks with wisdom but acts with injustice and evil. For him is the lowest layer of hell, Allah promised in the Quran.

    Be dutiful towards Allah. Ask him to protect you. And repent for any sins commited intentionaly and unintentionally. Stay safe.

    • Ali,

      Thank you for emphasizing that point, it is quite true that the sister only 'thinks the friend is pimping' and does not know for a fact. But she does have evidence that illegal drugs are being dealt with and that is very serious.

      Yes, of course her safety is of great concern, but if everyone stayed quiet about such crimes, the criminals would hardly ever be caught and society would drown further in these ills. I personally believe it is something that needs to be reported but with the utmost care and sensitivity by the sister. Insha'Allah she will find a way. I am sure some may disagree, I do understand why - but I would find it morally difficult to remain silent about such a thing.

      Ghadir - Added to all this, I know this is a very difficult situation for you, so regardless of my views, you must do what is right for you. You know your situation the best. May Allah guide you to the best course of action.

      SisterZ Editor

  3. Alhumdiallah sister you did the right thing to leave this scum of a coward. You deserve better and you are worth more than this, no man has a right of a woman's earning unless they are married and agreed 50/50. In your case your man was using you, it was easy to blind you seems like he wanted to trap you as well, he didn't even acknowledge you or seen you as an honest woman. Men like this are not muslims you need to stay away from them they dont have any good qualities about them they are born selfish and have no fear of Allah. Sister i have completely lost faith in ever finding someone because there are just too many people wanting to use and abuse women for something, please dont be another victim and just leave it to Allah, whatever you do pray for yourself that you get over the experience you went through and that you deserve a good muslim man. Whatever happens now just leave it count your blessings you got out while you did the consequences might have been bigger Allah saved you because it happen for a reason.

    I agree with sister z advise please follow that and may you be safe and protected always.

  4. Sister Ghadir, As-salamu alaykum,

    Alhamdulillah, Allah saved you from what would have been a disastrous life choice. Now it's time to move on. I realize that you feel betrayed and angry, and maybe you want to get back at him. But it's best to let it go, and forget about him.

    Reporting him to the police will accomplish nothing except possibly make you a target for retribution. Your ex might come after you or your family. The downside is huge, and there is no upside. Marijuana dealing and pimping are minor crimes from the police's perspective. You can drive down any city street in certain parts of town and see these crimes being conducted openly. Even when such people do get arrested, they get minor sentences or even probation.

    As far as his friend, what is it to you? You don't know him, and you have no proof. It's not your affair. You are not a police detective.

    Lastly, although the police promised you confidentiality, that is only true up to a point. If somehow this were to go to trial - and I doubt very much that would ever happen - you would be expected to testify openly.

    If this were a murder, rape or child molestation, my advice would be different. But in this case, the best course of action is to cut all your ties with this guy, and do your best to forget about him.

    Wael Editor

  5. I am quite torn in offering advice on this my first thought was to stay away and not report him - because it may put you in danger. If it was drugs alone I would agree to definitely leave it be. But part of me also is concerned about the girls and whether they were trafficked over or not and if they are being harmed. Some girls may willingly work for a pimp.

    Do not put yourself in any danger in any case.

    Seek Allah's counsel.

    Also out of interest: how did you come to know his true character in the end? Was it signs or just the passing of time? It is up to you whether or not you wish to answer.

    Apologies I was unable to offer more advice.

    Sara Editor

  6. Salaam, I am in an almost identical situation. To ensure the safety of my loved ones, I have made the decision not to legally pursue the matter as he is not worth the risk it may pose to other innocent people. He is capable of organising violent acts against my loved ones. Sometimes its best to leave matters as the truth eventually does surface. He will think he got away and will do something that will expose him eventually. Such people are not smart, just their own worst enemy. In my cases, it took a year but the pieces finally fell into place together for me to see the complete picture and realise that maybe I am better off alone & single but safe. The thing is we see everyone as we see ourselves, we expect them to be like us. I liked what people have mentioned that maybe Allah has saved us from a greater doom by showing us the truth. It is very painful as my fiance and I only broke up yesterday after he bashed me. After I found out the true extent of his addictions drugs, prostitutes & women he meets on websites. In my case he also has connections with local gangs and is involved in the disappearing of stolen goods. I am grateful to Allah subhaanwatallah & everyone on this website as being able to read that others are in similar situations and being able to talk about it is very healing in a way.

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