Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I’m 15, had a relationship and feel dirty. How do I get my life back on track?

repent forgive

The Door of Allah's Forgiveness is Always Open

Right now I'm in such situation which I never thought I would ever be in. I'm a teenager and going through so much pain and trouble that I never thought I would go through. Brothers and sisters answer me back with as much replies as possible, while answering consider me as your little sister because I'm mentally over now. and I'm still 15.

I'm youngest at home and have four siblings. I guess I have a Psychological problem now after whatever happened to me, because I'm very sensitive and panic very easily. My Dad is a violent person. He verbally and physically abuses my mother,while he verbally abuses his children too. They are married for 28 years now,but still my dad doesn't seem to be nice to even one of us.

When he is angry he uses such language which makes us sick. Now in this condition, I was so affected that I used to wake up around 3 am every night, cry and scream and feel like life has ended. I hate my dad for whatever he did, I went to a Psychiatrist and she recommended me different activities but I wasn't able to do them. My dad always threatens to divorce my mother but he can't because he knows he would have to give a lot of money to my mother as written in the Haq Meher. My father's violent behavior has put me into so much depression that I had lost my mind.

But again my Mother cheered me up, I was able to live with peace again , whenever there were weddings I used to enjoy them to the fullest. Now after 2 years or 1 year, I feel as dead, poor, dirty, impure, waste and bad as nothing else. Like you know I was such A God loving person. I never wanted any pre-marital relationship, but got in one when I was 13. I being unwanted, went physical, but did not commit intercourse, but done everything except that. I now feel disgusted.

I SWEAR I tried every single not to let him do that, but he did. I was so young, I lost myself. Allah (swt) have saved me from the bigger thing maybe, but isn't it enough too that I did that? I don't only blame him,but I blame myself too and since a year I'm repenting and crying all over again.

This is affecting my studies so much that no one knows. Why didn't I turned back to Allah before? I want to get married one day to a good person and become a great loving and a faithful wife,now I want to become a good Muslim and a better daughter. But now what? I feel so disgusted that now I feel that I've lost every right to study, like I feel like I should be stoned to death. But now if i ever marry , i pray to Allah that I marry a man who did alot of grave sins in his past but repented. I want to cry my heart out now.

I'm not a bad person inside, I care for everyone but these problems kill me. TBH, I never wanted it to happen but the fear that even he is going to leave made me sick. I'm very immature, I fear Allah very much, I can't sleep. Think about it from the time I wake up till I go to sleep. This is eating me alive,the regret is growing everyday. I can't sit normally in a group of people and panic. I get very scared and conscious  at times, whenever I meet my brothers and father, i dont feel like it and get scared from them. now i feel scared and hate every single male on this earth, including my 3 brothers, father and my 7 uncles.

Life seems as if I'm some worthless thing, and people around me are just awesome. I don't feel the same about myself anymore. Why am I like this? I swear I always tried to stop him, It was like he forced me always. And I always cried infront of Allah, and maybe I was not strong enough to let go. I was emotionally attached to him. NONE of you could imagine the amount of guilt I'm going through. I've read alot of posts in here , for sometime I feel better but then again I feel so ashamed and bad that no one can imagine. I after so many difficulties now prefer staying alone than with friends because i feel ashamed when I'm with them. I can't concentrate on my studies and it's honestly killing me. All this happened when I was 14. Now we are on our separate ways. but here are the questions I want you all to answer.

1- Will Allah ever, ever forgive me? Even when I'm trying to be a good muslim and repent all day?

2- Can I ever be pure,innocent and worth every blessing and respect  again?

3- Do I deserve to be killed? Or to die?

4- Do I deserve to complete my studies and become a doctor as per my Grand mother's wish? because I feel I'm not worthy of it.

5- Do I deserve to get married to a good muslim in the future? Is it too late for me to repent?

6-Will I ever get inner peace? Can I start my life again? Will I ever be chaste ? Or will I feel like this forever..?
7-Is there any chance for me to enter jannah? Does Allah even love me now? or He hates me,or curses me?

I need help. I'm crying my heart out asking everyone of you for help because I'm sincerely Asking Allah for forgiveness, Allah knows my heart. Then my dad's violent behavior and our financial problems, and my studies, all this is killing me. I also want to live my life like everyone else, I also want to laugh and enjoy on functions and weddings,but I feel impure and disgusted. Sometimes I even feel sympathy for myself because the way I cry.  I'm 15 and if all this happens,how am i going to live the rest of my life? HELP ME. HELP..ALLAH...

- fatima

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59 Responses »

  1. Hello lil sister,
    Your post deeply touched me and you're an amazing girl. I wish I had your heart and mind when I was 15. I will start by saying: Do not despair of the mercy of your Creator. This answers all your questions. You are young and shaytan misled you. But God saved you from greater sins and He is giving you the opportunity to be a better person and a greater muslim. Go back to your prayers and seek forgiveness. Do not go back to your sins and be the greatest muslim you can be. When the time comes, you will find a righteous husband. Go back to your studies and make your mother and grand mother proud. You do not want to fail for them. I was in your shoes once, later though but Now I live as a new person. Allah (S.W) is giving you the opportunity to come back to him. Seize it! I hope it helps.

    • Salamu aleykum Nabeela,

      Please don't be so rude to Fatima. Shes still quite young. The fact that she feels guilty and ashamed of her sin and is looking for repentance is good enough. Every son of Adam is a sinner even the prophets (peace be upon them all) sinned But they then they turned backed in repentance and Allah forgave them.

      Repentance is also a act of worship and it is considered to be one of the best acts of worship. Allah has said this again and again in Qur'an and we can even see this in sahih hadith.

      “O people! Repent to Allaah and seek for His forgiveness. I repent to Him in a day 100 times.” (Reported by Sahih Muslim).

      “Allaah holds out His Hand during the night to receive the repentance of the one who has committed wrong during the day and holds outs His Hand during the day to receive the repentance of the one who has committed wrong during the night.” ( Sahih Muslim)

      “ But as for him who repented , believed (in the Oneness of Allah and His Messenger Muhammad), and did righteous deeds (in the life or this world), then he will be among those who are successful.” (Qasas 28:67)

      “And turn in repentance and in obedience with true Faith (Islamic Monotheism) to your Lord and submit to Him (in Islam), before the torment comes upon you, then you will not be helped. And follow the best of that which is sent downto you from your Lord (i.e. this Qur’an, do what it orders you to do and keep away from what it forbids), before the torment comes on you suddenly while you perceive not.” (Az-Zumar 39:54-55).

      "If they then repent, it will be better for them, but if they turn away, Allah will punish them with a painful torment in this worldly life and in the Hereafter. And there is none for them on earth as a Wali (supporter, protector) or a helper." (At-Tawbah 9:74)

      “Seek the forgiveness of your Lord, and turn to Him in repentance, tahat He may grant you good enjoyment, for a term appointed, and bestow His abounding Grace to every owner of grace (i.e. the one who helps and serves needy and deserving, physically and with good words). But if you turn away, then I fear for you the torment of a Great Day (i.e. the Day of Resurrection).” (Hood 11:3)

    • I think Nabeela's comment is too harsh for somebody who has already learned her lesson, and I disagree with you that punishment is unavoidable, Allah is the most merciful and He does not get any pleasure by punishing His creations. Though He has established a system of accountability and a sinner do deserve punishment except when he/she do true repentance by heart.

      Punishment is a way to warn and teach a lesson, but somebody who has already realized and ask for forgiveness do not deserve to be teased. Allah knows what is the reality and sincerity of once heart and deeds we have no right to be judgmentle about somebody.

      @ Fatima. If you have done serious and sincere repentance I believe you are better than the most of us and God is helping you to battle against shytan.

      • no. I dd not commit illegal intercourse! I didn't. I did NOT. If i should recieve the punishment thn okay i will kill myself. if that is the only punishment because i cnt reveal my sins as this would only be another sin. I did not do it intentionally. I didnt. He persuaded me. I even tried to stop him.even to runaway. Even lrave
        But he didnt listen.i didnt do it intentionally :'(
        Ok il punish myself if that is the only way.

      • no. i had no kind of sex. i did not commit any sex. no intercourse. no oral or anything else. jus physical. I sent a post here expecting the editors to comment,not the public because i saw how editors helped everyone with a new life. after reading some of the replies i was so hopeful. but now ive become the saame person, full of guilt full of tears full of a burden on my heart. i did not commit zina. but still if i deserve a punishment then i will kill myself because i cant reveal myself and do another sin. im not even 15 fully yet. all this happened when i was thirteen. i swear this was not done intentionally because i cried infront of him to leave me but he didnt. those memories still come in my mind and haunt me kill me inside. i become scared around men. in my school everywhere else. im still very scared if he will come and do it again. but he held my hand and i was trying to leave praying to Allah that he may save me but no! now i hate myself and if thats the only way then sister il go and kill myself. i go to my mother and cry everynight. even i think that i shou

        • Guilt is good Fatema. when there is no guilt there is no sincere repentence my dear. with every tear u shed asking for repentence Allah will not only forgive u but elevate u.
          Each time i hapn to read in the quran that Allah is most merciful and oft forgiving i kiss the words. it reminds me of my sins and fills me with hope. Does the concept of forgiveness mean anything without sins.. and what is a human without his imperfections and errors? it is not a man's sins that will take him to hell, its lack of guilt, its the lack of humility, the belief that he never erred, that his actions were justified. my dear Allah loves u so much. there r at least 2 hadiths that i read on allah's mercy but i cant type it here coz i dont remember it well but i hope some1 who does remember it, narrates it . one is bout the woman who confessed about her zina and asked rasool allah to have her stoned.. and the other was about a man who was a criminal and who was driven away from the town and died in exile but Allah forgave him and elevated him and why and these hadiths r so beautiful . i wish some1 came forward to narrate them here for all of us.
          my dear everyone on this thread is a sinner. many have sinned more than u and all of us sin differently so there is no reason y anybody should judge any1 harshly. just tell me one thing, do u think anything in tgis world is greater than Allah s.w.t. Then how did u place ur sins above his mercy?

          go check some repentence videos on youtube. May u get some idea of Allah's mercy. He does not want any1 to lose hope in it.

    • Isn't she being punished now? And that too naturally; mentally,psychologically and socially.
      Does she need to call on someone to give her physical beatings? Would anyone consider that a norm?If so, how? Perhaps smack her forehead or back to remove the evil and sin from within?

      She has already repented to Allah. May Allah forgive her in his mercy.If she is to get physical beatings on earth for her earlier repented actions,and if that helps her then so let that be. However, I believe most of us here would unanimously agree that we should not be hasty or nasty when someone comes in a distressed state seeking guidance. Isn't that the teachings of prophet Muhammad SAW that we ought to be kind and gentle when listening to and advising whosoever comes in an overly distressed state.

      finally i'd say We are not mental Heath professionals cum Islamic scholars so how can anyone decree any form of punishment or advice for that matter? may Allah send from amongst us to her some solace and a solution to her problem.ameen.

    • Dear Sister Nabeela,

      Please view the research on this page:

      Even in the West, no one denies the SIGNIFICANT role of a father in his daughter's life.

      Your statement:

      "Remember dont blame your homely problems as an excuse for seeking pleasure from na mahram guys."

      implies that "homely problems" have no impact on the children of that home. Then from your statement, I wonder, are you advising all parents to treat their children any which way they please, even if they mistreat them, as this has no impact on their children whatsoever?

  2. Assalam Alikum.. I am not a regular adviser as I can not provide you with the religious references along with my advice, but still this time I really want to contribute as I feel that you are really in need of it.

    Dear sister you are too young and you have been part of a disturbed family ( i do feel really sorry about what you have gone through due to your father's attitude) this can be the very reasons you got carried away with the guy.. but sister what is done is done, you can not go back and change it now, all you can do is ask for forgiveness from All Mighty who is the best forgiver of all.

    He surely forgives a sincere repenter, so have faith in Him. you are a muslim, just try to notice greatness of Allah who feeds even those who do not even accept His existence, but He is the one who always fulfill what He promised to accomplish. He always do His part. try to follow His strategy, always do what is required from you, and it is really not that easy because it starts from forgiving and forgetting your own father for what he has done to your family, though he is responsible but just try not to blame him from now on.

    And i will end it up by ensuring you that you deserve every good thing in life, forget your past and just remember the lesson you have learnd from it and strive hard to remain at the good path, not just to earn a better future from your deeds but to get closer to God.

  3. Assalam Walikoum sister,
    You are such a strong young lady and you have SO much ahead of you. Don't let your mistakes or your father's abuse bring you down.. I know, easier said than done but you have to remember that this life is a test and Allah SWT will test his believers. Everyone makes mistakes, the real test is to see if you will realize it and get back on the straight path or continue and alhamdoullilah you are blessed to have got out of the situation and are praying for forgivness. Yes, what you have done was a great sin however Allah clearly states his Mercy and can forgive any believer who truly repents. Allah is the most Merciful and Forgiving, do not lose hope.
    Continue to pray, repent and do Dua from your heart everytime you pray but at the same time do not let your past affect your future, you are so young Mashallah. And please sister, you definetly DO NOT deserve to die, stay strong please ! As to answer the rest of your questions, let me tell you I have done worse and I have had a time where I was so far from Allah's guidance but sometimes it means being lost to find your path again. I have now wore the Hijab, pray 5 times a day, contiuing my studies and got married to an amazing Muslim man ! I know how it feels to be lost, impure and not able to continue with your life. Trust in what I say and most importantly trust in Allah . You are a true believer, you realized your mistakes and you are wanting to be a better Muslim; it is NEVER too late until the Hour, remember that. Keep strong, Please sister, do not lose hope you are not the first one to go through this and think of it as a test to become closer to Allah.
    As for your father, be patient. I know it must kill you inside however with every hardship comes ease. Finish your schooling, concentrate on your future and Inshallah Allah will send you a partner that you can build your own family with and you will be rewarded for your Sabr.
    Salam Sister, May Allah guide us all and help us all to attain his Mercy.

    Dua Astaghfar (Forgiveness) ‎/دعاء أستغفر
    Astaghfar means seeking forgiveness of Allah for the sins so far committed and turning repentant unto Allah.
    Allah has created us weak and we are likely to make mistakes and transgress. At the same time Allah has allowed us to seek forgiveness. Forgiveness is very important in Islam. By constantly turning to Allah for forgiveness of our sins, we learn humility. Our Creator time and time again tells His creation to repent so that they may be forgiven.
    And seek forgiveness of Allah. Indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful.Surat An-Nisa 4:106
    And whoever does a wrong or wrongs himself but then seeks forgiveness of Allah will find Allah Forgiving and Merciful.Surat An-Nisa 4:110
    Allah is Ar-Rahman, the Most Compassionate, and Ar-Raheem, the Most Merciful. He loves that we ask Him for forgiveness and He has promised to forgive.
    Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah’s Apostle salallahu alaihi wasallam said, “Our Lord, the Blessed, the Superior, comes every night down on the nearest Heaven to us when the last third of the night remains, saying: “Is there anyone to invoke Me, so that I may respond to invocation? Is there anyone to ask Me, so that I may grant him his request? Is there anyone seeking My forgiveness, so that I may forgive him?”
    Sahih Al-Bukhari – Book 21 Hadith 246
    Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah’s Apostle said, “When Allah created the creations, He wrote with Him on His Throne: ‘My Mercy has preceded My Anger.”Sahih Al-Bukhari – Book 93 Hadith 545
    Narrated Abdullah bin Amr: Abu Bakr As-Siddiq said to the Prophet “O Allah’s Apostle! Teach me an invocation with which I may invoke Allah in my prayers.” The Prophet said,
    “Say: O Allah! I have wronged my soul very much (oppressed myself), and none forgives the sins but You; so please bestow Your forgiveness upon me. No doubt, You are the Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”
    Sahih Al-Bukhari – Book 93 Hadith 485
    Thauban reported: When the Messenger of Allah salallahu alaihi wasallam finished his prayer, he begged forgiveness three times and said: O Allah! Thou art Peace, and peace comes from Thee; Blessed art Thou, O Possessor of Glory and Honour. Walid reported: I said to Auza’i: How is the seeking of forgiveness? He replied: You should say:, I beg forgiveness from Allah, I beg forgiveness from Allah.”
    Sahih Muslim – Book 4 Hadith 1226

  5. Assalamu aleykum wa rahmatullahi wa barkatuhu,

    Dear sis,

    I will answer your questions and may Allah swt help me give you best answers.

    1- Will Allah ever, ever forgive me? Even when I'm trying to be a good Muslim and repent all day?
    Ans. YES, Allah WILL ALWAYS FORGIVE YOU AS LONG AS YOU ARE ALIVE, But after death there is no room for repentance. Sincerely ask for forgiveness from the bottom of your heart and I am sure Allah will forgive you,in sha allah.

    2- Can I ever be pure, innocent and worth every blessing and respect again?
    Ans. YES, you can be. Every human is a sinner but the best among them are those you ask for forgiveness for their sins and ask Allah to purify them and try there best not to repeat that sin.

    3- Do I deserve to be killed? Or to die?
    Ans. NO. Such thoughts are put in your mind by Shaitan. Please be ware of him. Always remember Allah a lot this will make Shaitan weak in front of you.

    4- Do I deserve to complete my studies and become a doctor as per my Grand mother's wish? because I feel I'm not worthy of it.
    Ans. Why do you feel your not worthy of it. Again these negative thoughts are from Shaitan. Islam is about thinking positive and never losing Hope on Allah. And by doing this only you can overcome any difficulty you face in your life.

    5- Do I deserve to get married to a good Muslim in the future? Is it too late for me to repent?
    Ans. YES, Its never too late as long as you are alive. Every Muslim deserve to get married to a good Muslim.
    Make sure he is a practicing Good Muslim and not just Muslim.

    6-Will I ever get inner peace? Can I start my life again? Will I ever be chaste ? Or will I feel like this forever..?
    Ans. YES, if Allah wills you can get inner peace, start your life again, become chaste. ALWAYS REMEMBER ALLAH LOVES YOU MORE THEN 7 MOTHERS COMBINED. Just pray to him ask for his love and forgiveness and guidance. Indeed Allah is the best helper and best friend for All.

    7-Is there any chance for me to enter jannah? Does Allah even love me now? or He hates me or curses me?
    Ans. YES. there is chance for you to enter jannah if you SUBMIT YOU WILL TO ALLAH. YES Allah loves you even now I believe and doesn’t hate you. And Allah knows best.

    ISLAM means submitted your will to Allah All mighty.

    Learn more about Islam. Increase your knowledge about Islam. Stay away from negative thoughts. Be positive. Remember Allah as much as you can. Islam has solution for every problem. It’s a complete way of life and guide to Jannah.

    …Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.
    (Qur'an 13:28)

    …and Remember Allah much, that you may be successful.

    Allah is sufficient as a Friend, and Allah is sufficient as a Helper.

    So establish worship, pay the poor due, and hold fast to Allah. He is your Protecting Friend. A blessed Patron and a blessed Helper!

    Hope this was hopeful.

    Salamu aleykum sister.

  6. Every1 Thankyou for your advice. But I'm getting suicidal thoughts.I don't feel like living anymore because I've done wrong to my mother. My mother is already suffering so much and I always tell her about everything but Im unable to tell her about this. every night i get panic attacks and come to my mom crying wondering if ill feel better. but it doesn't happen. my heart has some kind of a burden. a mountain. i feel like my heart will stop working. Im so scared after this that every night I get dreams about someone coming close to me and im screaming and telling him not to come. i m uncomfortable with everyone.Im scared if this happens again. I feel a fear,a feeling of fear if he will come again and scare me. I swear I can't sit alone in my room, i get thoughts like " you are such an impure girl,character less, impure and you should just die. if you die that will dishonor ur family. you cant do anything " and etc. I'm doomed. abandoned. i need medical help maybe. but what about all this what should I do! i know Allah is very forgiving and i don't doubt that! but what about my heart! why do i feel a distance between me and my mother? I just want all that to leave my mind. i want to forget everything but nothing goes right. everyday i intend to become a better Muslim,something goes wrong, my father screams shout again and that makes me fall down. i have no hope from myself. i feel like no one will marry me ever. i feel like a shame for my family. I swear whatever happened was not my will . i was trying to leave and he used to stop me. i don't know if someone will ever understand my condition. you all tried your best to help but I'm very alone and these feelings are either persuading me to suicide or to look back and think of anyway to undo everything. I want to my sisters and mother's friend. i want to become a successful woman one day. But these feelings always make me wonder "what if" . i want to become a child again so i don't get these feelings. My mind is full of so many negative thoughts that when they combine together, when i study at night and think abiut them, they make me feel HOPELESS, I have no idea what to do. i want to let that feeling of " different" go away from me! I just hate myself so much! SO MUCH. Im scared of men,im scared of my father and i dont know what to do. help

    • no. i had no kind of sex. i did not commit any sex. no intercourse. no oral or anything else. jus physical. I sent a post here expecting the editors to comment,not the public to come and humiliate me because i saw how editors helped everyone with a new life. after reading some of the replies i was so hopeful. but now ive become the saame person, full of guilt full of tears full of a burden on my heart. i did not commit zina. but still if i deserve a punishment then i will kill myself because i cant reveal myself and do another sin. My father has always kept a pressure on myself so i just talked to him like a friend and shared my problem which made me feel better. i didnt realise tht he would be like this. if i knnew i would have left him. im not even 15 fully yet. all this happened when i was thirteen. i swear this was not done intentionally because i cried infront of him to leave me but he didnt. those memories still come in my mind and haunt me kill me inside. i become scared around men. in my school everywhere else. im still very scared if he will come and do it again. but he held my hand and i was trying to leave praying to Allah that he may save me but no! now i hate myself and if thats the only way then sister il go and kill myself. i go to my mother and cry everynight. even i think that i shoud lock myself in the room until i die or Allah forgives me. my patience has given an answer now..thankyou :'(

      • In your whole post did you mention you only want EDITORS advice not PUBLIC? If you did then we "public maybe missed " and if you didn't mention you should have then non public will comment.

        • i meantioned i need help " i dont want the public to HUMILIATE ME" I did not say that i dont want them to help or answer me. Please

          • Fatima,

            I hope to give you a detailed reply later. Meanwhile, chin up!

            Do not focus on replying to everyone, focus on your relationship to Allah.

            Pray to Allah again and again and again. Focus on your studies. When your mind races, remember that Allah is closer to you than anyone.

            Focus on the constructive critcisms - many gave that to you. Ignore attacks.

            May Allah guide us and forgive us. Ameen.

          • okay sister . I will wait for your reply.

    • I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL !!!!

      Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

      I know what it is like to have abusive parents or to see them fight every day . Im 22 and I still see them fight each day .

      I asked my mom "If you had the chance to go back to the time dad came to u for seeking your hand would u have said yes? "

      She said " No i would not" ...This killed me within to know how much hatred there is between them .
      My father is not a bad person, He just fails to understand that mom is sensitive and hes overlooks her struggles to raise us and maintain a home .

      Ive seen him hit her in front of us as a child and ive seen her shout and curse back . And because of their constant fighting and arguing (which also happens till today) ...My mom had to take out her frustration ... so she would curse and abuse Us .

      When i was 15 my greatest dream was to one day get away from my parents and live a life of peace ...wallahi i had suicidal thoughts also ...just like u do . I used to think to myself ..maybe if i kill myself My parents would stop fighting and show me some love.

      Dad wouldnt stop threatning to divorce her and trouble her mentally ...Mom would respond with harsher words and used very dirty language .

      As I grew up , I fell in love with islam and gradually became relegious sort of . I got tougher through the years and got used to watching them fight.

      I learnt the status of parents in islam . Although i never recieved any love frm mom , I showed respect for Allah's sake .

      When i was leaving my home for further studies I took the courage to go and kiss her fore head ...and to be frank i was disgusted ....cuz all the hurt and torture (both mental and physical ) came flashing back. But i did it for Allah's sake . And wallahi it felt so good later .

      I made lots of dua Asking Allah to make me merciful towards my parents and to put love between them. Suprisingly as time passed they began to respect me so much that i got scared at times 😛

      I know that someday ill get married and give my children a better life ....So my past has become a blessing because i now know the value of love as i had very less of it . Alhamdulillah.

      You know how i got through these tough times ...What helped me the most? .... I rememberd that Allah has prepared a place called Jannah for his righteous slaves .....Righteous meaning who dont sin??? .....Noooooooo ........

      Theres a hadith where our nabi (peace be upon him says) " ALLAH KI QASAM (BY ALLAH) , if you were a people who did not commit sin, ALLAH WOULD WIPE YOU OUT and replace you with a people who would sin and then seek Allah’s forgiveness so He could forgive them.” Narrated by Muslim, 2749.

      And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Every son of Adam sins, and the best of those who sin are those who repent.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2499; classed as hasan by al-Albaani.

      This boosted my morale ....And i found my purpose to live again ....Now all i want is to lead a good life ...finish my time here ....And be close to Allah in jannah .

      What had happend has happened ..... Allah is ghafoor ur raheem ...He forgives sins abundantly ....what will Allah gain by punishing u??? ....Infact he loves those who repent ...WHich you did so i am hopeful that u are one of those who Allah loves inshaAllah .

      As for marriage ....May Allah bless you with a righteous husband Who would give you all the happiness in the world ...Stop thinking no one will ever marry you this and that ... I read your post and as a boy i dont think any nice guy knowing ure story would mind marrying u ...Theres time to think abt all that any chill 🙂

      You know If i reveal my sins you would think Im the worst person on earth .... Every son of adam is a sinner need to learn to move on .....Get all these sisters to add you on face book and stay in a good circle ...with relegious sisters inshaAllah.

      I got through by making lots of dua and read about jannah can and will get through this too inshaAllah . Have patience

      And if ive said anything that offended u then please forgive me .

      May Allah ease your situation.

    • Aslkm, Fatima i understand you i understand the situation your going through. i'm 16 years old, even i was like you i never wanted to get into a relationship with anyone but i did get into a relationship even i commited sins even i did the mistakes you did . another thing is even i want to become a doctor its my parents wish. i laughed at ppl who had boyfriends but i finally ended up to have a boyfriend myself. i cheated my family for him i hid from my family told lies just to meet him. i did mistakes. out of all these i went against Allah's (SWT) rules the most worst thing a human being can do. my parents even came to know about our relationship they were very badly hurt because they trusted me that i would never go into such sins but i did this made them very sad and they lost trust in me this is the worst thing any daughter or a son can feel when your parents lose trust on you. after all this i came to know that pre marital relationships are not allowed in islam i came to know that i was committing sins haraam then i talked to my boyfriend and told him every problem with our relationship that is the point of lying to my family which i didn't wanted to do anymore and even the point of doing haraam . i told him to stay away from me i told him of having a break up but he didn't listen as he said that he loved me the most . but i knew that we were doing haraam and how will i let him and myself continue doing haraam even after knowing so i told him to wait for me without talking to me or meeting me if he really loves me and wants to marry me and luckily he agreed and i really feel happy for the reason he agreed. now its been a week and we are not in contact and i completely trust him that he will wait for me. now here was what our story changed. we both did the same sins same mistakes but you fell into the hands of a wrong guy fatima. but don't worry feel happy that he's gone .i told you my story because i found someone who was in the same situation as i was may be its a too late reply but i did it. now i know the mistakes i did i'm sincerely asking allah for forgiveness for both of us and praying that if he is really correct for me plz bring him back to me when the time is right. i every moment pray to allah to forgive me for my sins. i have left everything on allah because it is he who knows the best i'm just asking forgiveness and thanking me for pulling me out from this haraam before it was too late even u do the have faith and trust in allah ask forgiveness with whole heart never feel that everything is lost trust allah and thank him for taking you out of this mess before it was too late just have belief in yourself and allah everything will automatically come into shape . you dont worry about having the right guy in your life you will definitely get a good person who deserves you .that guy was a cheat so leave him and forget him. you just concentrate on the good things in your life pray ask forgiveness to allah Allah talah is the most merciful never ever doubt on allah's mercy if you really feel ashamed of your mistakes and with that guilt if you ask forgiveness allah talah will definitely help you even i'm doing the samejust asking allah to guide me on the right path and forgive me. trust yourself fatima your future is awaiting you study hard work hard fulfill your grandma's dream become a doctor and at the right time you will find the right guy with allah's mercy. i'll pray for you and all those sisters who are in such situations . even i'm going to do the same what i told you hope my advice was helpfull even to the others who will read this may allah guide all of us in the right path

  7. Salam Alaikum habiibti Fatima.

    your words really touched me and brought tears in my eyes... I'm really sorry for what you went trough and really so happy that Allah gave u such a brilliant mind despite your age.

    bro ALI YOUSUFF and Syed kamran khalid give u the best answer's

    Thank Allah because still your Iimaan (faith) is alive and that is why are you feeling guilt now.

    Allah loves those return to Him.

    it was narrated on the authority of Ibn ‘Umar that the Prophet , said that Allaah The Almighty accepts a slave's repentance as long as the soul has not reached the throat at the moment of death. [At-Tirmithi]

    Do not despair, for Allaah the Most Exalted and Glorified said (interpretation of the meaning): "Say: Oh my servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the mercy of Allaah, for Allaah forgives all sins; for He is oft-forgiving, most merciful." [Surah 39,Verse 53]


    PLEASE BE CAREFUL BEFORE YOU MAKE DECISION -USING SUCH HARSH WORDS AS WE LIKE WE ARE NOT ANY ONE TO MAKE A DECISION I DONT KNOW YOUR AGE BUT YOU MIGHT BE MAJOR ENOUGH TO FEEL IF FATIMA WAS YOUR DAUGHTER WILL YOU SAY THE SAME WORD YOU TOLD HER IN YOUR COMMENT -Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) said “He is not the one of us who does not show compassion to our little ones or respect our older ones.” (Jami’ at- Tirmidhi, 1920)

    WE CANNOT BE GREATER THAN THIS -Allah’s Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) said “When Allah wills good for a person, He grants him understanding of the religion.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari,71)

    Allah’s Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) said “Whoever follows a path seeking knowledge thereby, Allah will make a path to Paradise easy for him.” (Saheeh Muslim,2699)
    Narrated Ibn ‘Abbâs and Anas bin Mâlik: Allah’s Messenger said, “If a son of man had a valley full of gold, he would desire to have two. Nothing can fill his mouth except the earth (of the grave). Allah turns with mercy to him who turns to Him in repentance.” (Al-Bukhâri and Muslim)



  9. اصْبِرُوا وَصَابِرُ

    (Persevere in patience) -Quran 3:200

    "O children of Adam, as long as you call upon Me and put your hope in Me, I have forgiven you for what you have done and I do not mind. O children of Adam, if your sins were to reach the clouds of the sky and then you would seek My forgiveness, I would forgive you. O children of Adam, if you were to come to Me with sins that are close to filling the earth and then you would meet Me without ascribing any partners with Me, I would certainly bring to you forgiveness close to filling it." (Hadith Qudsi)

    Say: O My servants who have transgressed against their own souls, despair not of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Surah az-Zumar 39:53)

    Say: Shall I not inform you of things far better than those (things of this world)? For the pious, there are gardens with their Lord, wherein rivers flow. Therein (is their) eternal home and pure wives. And Allah will be pleased with them. And Allah is Seer of the slaves. Those who say, Our Lord! We have indeed believed, so forgive us our sins and save us from the punishment of the Fire. They are those who are patient, those who are true and obedient with sincere devotion in worship to Allah. Those who spend (in charity) and those who pray and beg for Allahs forgiveness in the last hours of the night. (Surah Ali Imran 3:15-17)

  10. I am not sure how people can make mean comments to a 15 year old. First of all, she is a child. 2nd of all, she needs our help. How are we going to answer on the Day of Judgement as to how we helped guide her?

    If we hope to be forgiven for our mountain of sins on the Day of Judgment, we shouldn't be so unkind--let us offer some sound advice with ways to be forgiven, inshaAllah.

  11. 15yr old girl is not a child I think

    • why dont u fully read my post . It did not happen now, it happend almost 2 n a half years ago. not now!!!

      • I did sister even 13yr don't consider child when you reach your puberty you are an adult!!!

        • Assalam alaikum,

          Sister Nadia,

          What do you think is the best action for her to take now that she cannot change her past?

          Considering she is very depressed and regretful, what advice can we offer Islamically?

          Thank you.

          • Sister Nadia...

            no1 is a saint here.... most of us have committed so many mistake and the most important thing is to realize our mistake and to repent for it and not to indulge in such mistakes in the future....

            Sister Fathima

            You committed a mistake and you learnt from it and now your repenting for it.... MAke sure you dont go astray again... thats it... and Allah loves those who repent sincerely.... Dont listen to all those who post negative comments they are just acting as if they are saints.... i read many people who have advised you just follow their advise and keep your faith in tact.... bcz Allah is ever loving and ever forgiving for those who are sincere in there repentance. 🙂 Study well and be happy 🙂

          • Ashroff, your advice to Fathima is good, but I removed the part where you told someone to shut up. There's no need to speak that way.


        • Assalaamualaikam

          Actually, from a neuropsychological perspective, this is not the case these days. In adolescence a person's brain and personality are still developing, and are vulnerable to lasting effects from traumatic experiences.

          There are some studies which suggest this development can still be happening even in a person's early 20s, depending on culture, exposure to different influences, mental ability...

          Whether this is due to cultural changes affecting psychological maturity, a biological change in human development, or something else isn't really understood, but I don't think we can class a modern day person as being an adult when they start puberty. Some girls start puberty as young as 9 or 10 - would you expect a modern day 9 year old to be able to act as an adult, and cope with adult responsibilities such as having a full-time job, running a house, raising a family? Most modern day 9 year olds in Western countries wouldn't have the abilities to even start to cope with that level of responsibility.


          • Thank you for this reply. In some cases, girls have started puberty as early as 7 or 8.

            Besides, a 13 or 15 year old is a child. Teenagers' brains are still developing and their hormones are changing drastically--they need our guidance more than ever at this age.

        • my sister nadia please dnt be cruel to such a tiny child.almighty allah is the best he declared his mercyness to mankind so we have to be hopeful not to be frustrated.

  12. Salam sister in Islam

    sister you're still young and Masha ALLAH it's really amazing that you've realized your mistakes at this age
    Masha ALLAH really glad....

    And sister always remember this ALLAH is most forgiving....

  13. Assalaamualaikam sister

    I am so sorry for some of the unpleasantness you have felt from replies; please do not let this upset you further. Sometimes in their haste to help, people can come across unintentionally harsh or strict. I'd like to assure you, though, that you are very much our sister in Islam and we wish you the very best in this life and the next inshaAllah.

    With regards your experiences, I may be reading between the lines, but it seems that you may have been coerced into haraam interactions by someone who took advantage of your vulnerability. If this was the case, then the blame for these interactions should not fall to you, but to the person who saw a young girl and took advantage.

    Alhamdulillah, you have recognised that these interactions were not appropriate and are taking steps to reconnect with Islam. This is a very big step in the right direction, and one that many people who have been in your circumstances have not been able to do.

    I'm not a scholar, but I shall try my best to answer your questions.

    1. Will Allah ever, ever forgive me? Even when I'm trying to be a good muslim and repent all day?

    Allah loves us all, and will forgive our sins if we repent sincerely. The first two Names of Allah mentioned in the Quran both refer to His merciful nature, underlining this. When we repent, sometimes there can be a voice whispering to us that we aren't worthy of forgiveness, that it won't be granted - this is the whispering of shaitan, and we must strive to ignore it.

    Nobody alive today is perfect, and every person has at some point in their lives made a mistake or committed a sin. The important thing is to repent, take steps to make sure it never happens again, and work hard to improve our connection with Islam.

    2- Can I ever be pure,innocent and worth every blessing and respect again?

    While we cannot take away the things you have experienced, with time and support (your mother, a counsellor, a psychiatrist) inshaAllah you will be able to come to terms with them and not let them define you as a person.
    If I am correct in my thinking, once a heartfelt repentance is offered to Allah, and He forgives us, in His eyes it is as though the sin had not occurred.
    So, you already are worthy of respect and love. What you need is time to heal so that you can see this and be open to it in a healthy and halal way.

    3- Do I deserve to be killed? Or to die?


    Do not ever contemplate this - suicide is never the answer to life's trials. Many times I hear people say that they feel suicide would solve their problems, but it doesn't - all that happens is that the problems remain unsolved and hurt the people left behind.

    4- Do I deserve to complete my studies and become a doctor as per my Grand mother's wish? because I feel I'm not worthy of it.

    You should definitely try to complete your studies if this is what you want to do - do not let these experiences dictate your choices. If you wish to be a doctor, then go for it! Far from making you not worthy of education and a career, if you are able to learn from these experiences, you may be able to use the lessons to enhance your abilities to communicate with patients from troubled backgrounds and patients in distress - this may be a way for you to turn your bad experiences into a positive influence on your future?

    Being a doctor is hard work and rewarding, but not something that you have to be special or worthy to succeed at. Doctors are people too, with flaws and regrets just like everyone else. If you want to study medicine for yourself, then aim for that.

    5- Do I deserve to get married to a good muslim in the future? Is it too late for me to repent?

    It is never too late to repent. Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful, and inshaAllah our heartfelt repentances are heard and accepted with love.

    You absolutely deserve to have a righteous and loving husband who can stand by you in this life and the next. I would recommend focusing on healing from your current distress before considering marriage, though - sometimes when emotions are running high it can be easier for people to make bad choices. Once you feel ready for marriage, talk to your mum about it and inshaAllah she should be able to help you decide what to look for and help find suitable potential matches for you to consider in a halal way.

    6-Will I ever get inner peace? Can I start my life again? Will I ever be chaste ? Or will I feel like this forever..?

    I would encourage you to repent to Allah, and ask Him to help you find peace again. It might be worth also talking with a counsellor or a psychiatrist, as they can help you explore your feelings and come to terms with what has happened. It should be possible to find a Muslim counsellor (eg through a local women's centre or your local mosque), or if you are arranging to see a psychiatrist it is generally acceptable to emphasise that due to your faith you would like to see a female doctor if possible and ideally one who knows something about Islam.

    7-Is there any chance for me to enter jannah? Does Allah even love me now? or He hates me,or curses me?

    As I mentioned above, my understanding is that heartfelt repentance leads to a sin being wiped away.
    Allah loves us more than even our own mothers. Our mothers forgive us all kinds of mistakes. Surely then we can have faith that if we beg Allah's forgiveness for something we sincerely repent, our plea will be heard.

    Do not give up on yourself, sister. Allah loves you, and we all, as your sisters and brothers in Islam, wish for you the same peace and success that we wish for ourselves.

    Midnightmoon editor

    i hate myself and if thats the only way then sister il go and kill myself.Suicide - Its Not An Escape !
    Any hardship faced is no more than a trial to prove that our only concern is the approval of our actions by Allah before anyone else in the community and even before our own pleasure.

    Allah promised in the Quran, “Alif, Lam, Mim, do people think that they will be left alone on (merely) saying: ‘We believe,’ and not be tested (in their claims)? We have indeed tested those who were before them; and Allah will certainly make it known those who were truthful and He will certainly make known the liars.”
    [Surah Ankabut 29:1-2]
    A days worth for a Muslim…

    An extra day alive is that much longer to work good deeds to distance oneself from the eternal torment of Hell-fire and a golden opportunity to win a better place in Paradise.
    im still very scared if he will come and do it again.HE WONT LOOK BACK OR COME TO YOU AGAIN NOW HE KNOWS YOU ARE NARROWMINDED AND NOT HIS CUP OF TEA-




  15. Salam lil sister,
    This post has received much attention. Take a deep breath. Get ready to pray and offer two salah. Then open your heart to your creator. Cry as much as you can, beg for forgiveness as he is the only one whose judgment matters. Do not let the people bring you down. Suicide would be of no hedlp as it is a greater sin and would only hurt yourself and your mother. Mistakes should guide you, not define you. Now you have the chance to be someone better, don't let anything take you astray. You're great, you are young and have made mistakes. Keep this sin between you and the Creator as He has concealed it for you. The emptiness and the troubled heart will heal as you pray and seek forgiveness. Hope it helps 🙂

  16. Assalam alaikum Sister Fatima,

    First of all, you have a lot of great advice here, especially from Sister Midnightmoon.

    I just wanted to say that in the Quran
    “(Iblees) said: ‘Because You have sent me astray, surely, I will sit in wait against them (human beings) on Your straight path. Then I will come to them from before them and behind them, from their right and from their left, and You will not find most of them as thankful ones (i.e. they will not be dutiful to You)’” (Quran, Al-Aaraf: 16,17)."
    and Shaitaan's tactics to make us go astray are many. He provokes us to disobey Allah, he makes us feel ungrateful for what we have, he makes us have feelings of pride and conceit over others and so on and so on. He understands our psychology and uses it against us. Though he does provoke us, we are still responsible for our bad deeds because when he provokes us and whispers to us, we have to:

    1. Ignore the whispers. Ignore him when he suggests to do haram. Ignore him when he tells you that you are worthless, Ignore him when he says you are no good and how can you expect anything good. All your questions stem from listening to these whispers.

    2. Instead, Fear Allah, not the what people think of you on this page. Fear Allah by asking for forgiveness, being content with what you have. Do Dhikr and whenever you are afflicted with negative thoughts, seek refuge in Allah. Keep yourself busy.

    I do have concern that your relationship with your father seems to be turbulent. Do your best as I really do not know the details. No one can really understand this unless they have experienced this situation with their father. I do think you have to stop worrying about whether other people understand you or not (like replying to ppl on the post if they do not understand what you have been through). Do not be concerned about that. Develop confidence by immersing yourself in your studies, helping your mother with chores, and investing your time in learning Deen. May Allah guide you and when the time comes, give you a righteous and kind husband. Ameen.

    Stay focused and strong inshaAllah.
    May Allah guide us and forgive our sins. Ameen.

  17. 1)Will Allah ever, ever forgive me? Even when I'm trying to be a good muslim and repent all day?
    A-Yes,AllahSWT WILL forgive you if you repent and remember him as much as possible

    2)Can I ever be pure,innocent and worth every blessing and respect again?
    A-once you get the love of AllahSWT anyone who tries to disrespect you will be humiliated and'll get the love of AllahSWT by doing the salah,reading Quran...leave the sin and ask forgiveness from AllahSWT and take it as lesson.

    3)Do I deserve to be killed? Or to die?
    A-you dont deserve to die,you deserve to be more the salah with free mind and JUST LEAVE THE WORDS YOUR DAD SAYS,if you do dua to AllahSWT and if your dad is a bad man,he'll be punished

    4) Do I deserve to complete my studies and become a doctor as per my Grand mother's wish? because I feel I'm not worthy of it.
    A-yes you are worthy of it.if you work for it and do dua to AllahSWT with 100% sinceriety and if its good for you,AllahSWT will definitely help you becoming a doctor.

    5)Do I deserve to get married to a good muslim in the future? Is it too late for me to repent?
    A-no its never too late to repent.this is the second chance AllahSWT is giving you.

    6)Will I ever get inner peace? Can I start my life again? Will I ever be chaste ? Or will I feel like this forever..?
    A-you will get INNER PEACE as soon as you start following the ISLAMIC DUTIES.STOP HEARING doesnt help you,it will pain you even more.leave the sin and ask forgiveness from AllahSWT.

    7)Is there any chance for me to enter jannah? Does Allah even love me now? or He hates me,or curses me?
    A-if you reform yourself and do good deeds,AllahSWT himself out of his mercy will help you get into Jannah.


    hope my answers helped you.

    may AllahSWT make you a RIGHTEOUS girl for eternity.Ameen

    moderator please dont delete this,it may help her(AllahSWT knows the best)

  18. Heres a hadith for you fatimah .....think Allah is addressing you ...

    The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said:

    “Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) says,

    ‘O son of Adam, (Fatimah) as long as you call on Me, I shall forgive you of what you have done, and think nothing of it.

    O son of Adam, (Fatimah) even if your sins were to reach up to the clouds in the sky, and then you were to ask for My forgiveness, I would forgive you and think nothing of it.

    O son of Adam, (Fatimah) even if you were to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth, and then you were to meet Me after death, not worshipping anything besides Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as the earth.’” [Tirmidhi]

    Have a happy life 🙂

  19. If you keep getting those panic attacks

    If you keep getting those panic attacks .....Read ayatul kursi before sleeping ....and some portion of surah baqarah every day .....
    (copy paste address)

    Listen to this and if you feel uncomfortable or feel like throwing up or dizzy ....... then reply back ....

  20. Also watch these inshaAllah

  21. Suicide is not allowed sister fatima...its anothee crime. Just repent and statyvpractising

  22. Dear sis your post is really touching for me .After reading this post I am so much ashamed of myself. I am 4 years older than you but I didn't realized my sins the way you did yours. Sister I am really thankful to you ,you made me realize my own sins.
    You are lucky that you feel so much bad for that sin. Since you are alive its you still have time, the doors of TAUBA are still open. Allah loves us 70 times than our mother.

    PLEASE DONT EVEN THINK OF SUICIDE ... its not the solution to the problem, Its HARAM .... SUICIDE will lead you straight to HELL.
    Allah never forgives the one who commits suicide.

    The solution to your problem is simple.
    1.Be regular in PRAYER.
    1.RECITE QURAN daily
    2.RECITE the dua's told by the holy probhet(SAW) before eating,drinking ,sitting in a car etc.
    3.Try to make good friends to whom you can share your problems comfortably. This step is compulsory for you. If you don't share your problems and your guilt with someone they will kill you from inside.
    4.AFTER every prayer recite 33 times Subhan`Allah, 33 times Alhamdulillah and 34 times Allahu`Akbar...
    5.If a bad thought comes in your mind just say Wa la hauwla wala quwata ila billah.
    6.Try to keep yourself busy in good stuff eg join an Islamic centre etc.

    May Allah guide us to the right path . AMEEN

    • Muhammad, you said, "Allah never forgives the one who commits suicide."

      How do you know that? There are many people who will be admitted into Jannah after receiving punishment for some time in Jahannam.

      Muslim reports a lengthy hadîth from Abû Hurayrah, in which the Prophet (saw) describes the Hereafter, and in which he says:

      "...When Allâh (swt) has finished judging mankind, and wants to bring whomever He wills out of Hell by His Mercy, He will order angels to bring forth those upon who He wishes to bestow His mercy of the people who never associated anything in worship with Allâh (swt), and who said, "Lâ ilâha illâh Allâh". The angels will recognise them in Hell, and will known them by the mark of sujûd on their foreheads. The Fire will consume all of a man except the mark of sujûd which Allâh (swt) has forbidden the Fire to consume. They will be brought forth, having been burned in the Fire, the water of life will be poured on then, and they will grow like seeds left by still after a flood". [Sahîh Muslim, Kitâb al-Imân, Bâb ar-Ru'yah, 1/299, no. 182]

      It was reported in more than one hadîth that Allâh (swt) will bring forth from hell whoever has a dinâr's weight of faith in his heart, or even half a dinâr's weight or an atom's weight. Moreover, people will be brought forth who never did any good deeds at all. Abû Sa'îd al-Khudri reported that the Messenger of Allâh (saw) said,

      "Allâh (swt) will admit the people of Paradise to Paradise and He will admit whomsoever He will by His Mercy. And He will admit the people of Hell to Hell, then He will say, "Look for anyone who has the weight of a mustard seed of faith in his heart, and bring him out"". [Sahîh Muslim, Kitâb al-Imân, Bâb Ithbat ash-Shafa'ah wa Ikhrâj al-Muwwahhadîn, 1/172]

      Wael Editor

        "Look for anyone who has the weight of a mustard seed of faith in his heart, and bring him out"".
        "On the Day of Judgement, some people will come to me when I will be standing by Haudh-e-Kauser (Well). They will be grabbed and taken towards the Hellfire. I shall say: "These are my people" but in reply I will be told:
        "These are the people who introduced innovations after you......
        "Look for anyone who has the weight of a mustard seed of faith in his heart, and bring him out"".
        STICKING TO THIS WILL KEEP YOU ON THE PATH OF SHARIAH-The Last Sermon (Khutbah) of Prophet Muhammad (Farewell Sermon)

        And in another narration, he said: "Everyone of them in the Hellfire,except for one group that which I and my companions are upon." 4
        5. Ibn Mas'ood said: "The Messenger of Allaah drew a line for us and then said: 'This is the Straight Path of Allaah.' And he drew lines on the left and right of it, and then said: 'These are paths of which there is not one except that there is a devil upon it calling towards it.' Then he recited the statements of Allaah 5: 'And verily, this is My Straight Path, so follow it, and do not follow (other) paths for they will separate you away from His path."


  23. Wael bro I have already read those hadiths which you have posted.Those are not for people who commit suicide. Have a look....

    “And do not kill yourselves. Surely, Allaah is Most merciful to you.” [Surah Nisaa 4:29]

    Prophet(SAW) said. "Whoever throws himself down from a mountain and kills himself, he will be in the Fire of Hell throwing himself down for ever and ever. Whoever drinks poison and kills himself will have the poison in his hand, drinking it in the Fire of Hell for ever and ever. Whoever kills himself with a piece of iron (i.e. a weapon) will have that piece of iron in his hand, stabbing himself in the stomach with it in the Fire of Hell forever and ever." (Compiled in Sahih Bukhari).

    The holy prophet (SAW) said: "Indeed, whoever [intentionally] kills himself, then certainly he will be punished in the Fire of Hell, wherein he shall dwell forever", [Bukhari (5778) and Muslim (109 and 110)].

    • Allahu 'alam. I tend not to think of the punishment of the aakhirah as eternal, since Eternity is a quality belonging only to Allah. Nothing in the creation is eternal. The word "abadan" in Arabic means more like continuous and uninterrupted (punishment not interrupted by pleasure or relief), than what we think of in English as "eternal." I fully accept the Quran and all authentic hadith. What I question is the translation or understanding of "abadan" as "eternal".

      From a logical perspective, to punish someone infinitely or eternally for a crime committed in finite time and space doesn't make sense, and to me is not consistent with Allah's nature as the Most Merciful and Most Forgiving.

      Allah also says, "My punishment - I afflict with it whom I will, but My mercy encompasses all things." - Quran 7:156

      Furthermore if you look at the Quran, the word "abadan" is used only in reference to Jannah; but never in reference to Hell.

      It seems likely to me that we should understand these references to mean, "for a very long time." As I said, Allah knows best. These are only my thoughts.

      Wael Editor

      • Brother Wael I am confused. Does this mean that disbelievers will have a chance to go to Paradise as well? Because there are some verses that says they will be punished forever and ever. Some of us have friends and relatives who are non Muslim, will they have a chance in Jannah also??

        • Pepper, I'm not a scholar and I can't really answer those questions. Allah knows best.


        • Salam'alaykum,

          Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said: What is definite is that it is eternal, and no other view is known among the salaf. Hence the scholars made this one of their tenets of faith, so that we believe that Hell is eternal and will last forever. This is a matter concerning which there is no doubt. "Allah forgive not that partners should be set up with Him; but He forgive anything else, to whom He please; to set up partners with Allah is to devise a sin, Most heinous indeed. (Quran 4:48).


          O Prophet! strive hard against the unbelievers and the Hypocrites, and be firm against them. Their abode is hell,- an evil refuge indeed. (Quran 9:73)

          “Verily, those who disbelieve and did wrong [by concealing the truth about Prophet Muhammad and his message of true Islamic Monotheism written in the Tawraatt (Torah) and the Injeel (Gospel) with them]; Allaah will not forgive them, nor will He guide them to any way. Except the way of Hell, to dwell therein forever And that, for Allah , is [always] easy.”

          [al-Nisa’ 4:168-169]

          “Verily, Allaah has cursed the disbelievers, and has prepared for them a flaming Fire (Hell) Wherein they will abide for ever”

          [al-Ahzaab 33:64]

          “and whosoever disobeys Allaah and His Messenger, then verily, for him is the fire of Hell, he shall dwell therein forever”

          [al-Jinn 72:23]

          ..Thus Allaah will show them their deeds as regrets for them. And they will never get out of the Fire”

          [al-Baqarah 2:165-167]

          "..Jesus will say, 'I am not fit for this undertaking, go to Muhammad the Slave of Allah whose past and future sins were forgiven by Allah.' So they will come to me and I will proceed till I will ask my Lord's Permission and I will be given permission. When I see my Lord, I will fall down in Prostration and He will let me remain in that state as long as He wishes and then I will be addressed.' (Muhammad!) Raise your head. Ask, and your request will be granted; say, and your saying will be listened to; intercede, and your intercession will be accepted.' I will raise my head and praise Allah with a saying (i.e. invocation) He will teach me, and then I will intercede. He will fix a limit for me (to intercede for) whom I will admit into Paradise. Then I will come back again to Allah, and when I see my Lord, the same thing will happen to me. And then I will intercede and Allah will fix a limit for me to intercede whom I will let into Paradise, then I will come back for the third time; and then I will come back for the fourth time, and will say, 'None remains in Hell but those whom the Quran has imprisoned (in Hell) and who have been destined to an eternal stay in Hell.' " (The compiler) Abu 'Abdullah said: 'But those whom the Qur'an has imprisoned in Hell,' refers to the Statement of Allah: "They will dwell therein forever." (16.29) (Sahih Bukhari)

          'And whoever seeks a religion other than Islâm, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers.' [Aale-Imran 3:85]

          "..We do not punish until We send a Messenger" (Quran 17:15).

  24. Hey Fatima..
    I hope you aren't feeling bad now. Some repentance is good; it deters us. Remember we tell kids that if they are bad, they don't get cheistmas gifts. Some people even say the kids will b grounded. Sometimes kids want extra chores to cancel out when they were bad. But at the end of the day, merciful parents always see the child's effort and reward the child fairly. Santa is Montreal, but we all love the traditions surrounding him...we can't handle him disappearing...also it gives a moral inspiration to the kids...I hope u understand me.

  25. Dear fatima sister......
    I m also a teenager who just became 18 years.... And i guess nobody can understand ur problem better than me because i m a person of ur age only...... Listen sister .... Plz dnt listen to any of those ppl who are leaving harsh comments upon ur problem...... Instead u shud be proud of urselv cuz u realised ur mistake.... Not tol early but at late but still u realized ur mistake ..... alhamdullilah..... And plz dnt ever think of doing suicide or any cheap things as those ppl are of no value in front of almighty ALLAH..... Sometimes it does happens at this age.... Mistakes do happen from humans... But it doesnt means u need to have suicidal thoughts or something.... So i m telling u fatima sister..... leave behind ur past and see ur future... Bcuz ALLAH has already decided ur future....
    And never ever again think of doing suicide..... And u have a family to take care of ..... U might be thinking suicide is a good option.... But do u knw wat will happen after suicide ..?
    Ur mother will b broken forever.... She wont b able to patchup wid her grief.... And ur family would be broken in short.... Moreover according to islam the ppl who commit suicide have their place in HELL only.... I truly understand ur feelings cuz i m also a teenager..... So plz atleast for ur family .... Dnt take any harsh steps.......

  26. It will be okay try to establish a relationship with Allah take it step by step

  27. My lil sis Fatima

    U have Allah swt habibti, he is the judge of all our affairs
    He is the merciful, hamdulilah for everything , but now u move
    Forward and do what pleases Allah swt
    Nchalla u will be raised with the muhsineen, Allah swt guide us
    And forgive us all

    Sis in islam

  28. As salam alaikum sister.....
    Don't you dare think of suicidal thoughts as your life just doesn't belongs to you.... Giving and taking life is in ALLAH's hand.... And moreover doing suicide is HARAM..... U will be in jahannam if you do so..... If you are going through bad times that doesn't means you should give up.... You should rather stand up and stay strong at such times..... and moreover you do need to look after your mother also..... So please sister..... remove the thoughts of suicide as you have a very long and bright future ahead..... A single mistake can't decide your future....

  29. I know exactly how you feel. I feel the same, I was 13 and I recently read an ahadith saying. " pure men are for pure women" but I feel as though I'm not pure, I hate myself. My family all dislike me. I was that sweet, loving girl who everyone loved. My mum has three brothers and a sister, I was all of their favorite niece. My dad has one sister she absolutely loved me. My grandparents although they had many grandchildren always made clear I was the favorite. Nobody knows why I've become so bitter and I hate myself for it. I hate how I say spiteful things when I want to say nice things, when I feel the opposite but I can't help myself. I feel as though if u say good, people will see through. I want people to know that inside I actually care, I care too much but I'm so scared of being hurt, I'm so scared of everything. I eat to be perfect but I cant. I want Allah to love me but I'm the worst Muslim you can come across. I want to be better person I want to feel free and have this weight lifted off me. I don't want to ever get married because I know it will ruin my marital life if I mention this after and I can't tell anyone about it

    • You miss being the favorite, you miss being known as the sweetest, you ache to be the perfect image in the mind's others and you are scared of everything....Dear Sister, it seems as though you have succumbed to lesser priorities and your connection with Allah swt is suffering. Allah swt knows that you aren't perfect and if you have made mistakes and repent sincerely, only He knows and He will know. Try to let your heart and mind trust your Creator again and go to that place. Put more faith in Allah's plans than in reactions of people. If you were truly the favorite to everyone--how come they didn't "save" you or come and save you from the road of destruction that you are on? In fact, it is because Allah's love is greater than all of them. Compete with the sweet person that you used to be and become better than what you were...Fear Allah and Love Allah above all and prepare to be His slave again with conviction, rather than being a slave to your emotions or what people think of you. Don't give up.

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