Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I got a girl pregnant, my parents don’t know


Pregnancy test kit.

I commited a zinaa.

i got this girl pregnant.

she wants to keep the baby.

my parents dont know about this.

What can i do????

- joseph91

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9 Responses »

  1. Assalaam mualaikum
    Brother first ov all make thubah for the sin you have done secondly I would recomend that you speake to your parents about the pregnancy and take it from there.

  2. Astagfirullah bro, you have indeed committed a monstorous SIN. A sin punishable by 80 whip lashes, that is if you are unmarried but if you are married then 100 whip lashes and death. But you have a great offer, if you do sincere repentance and ask Allah to forgive you and promise him never to perform this evil act again. He will inshallah forgive you. Do sincere tawbah bro. Or else severe punishment is awaiting you in this life and hereafter.

    Secondly, since you had unprotected sex, there is a risk of aqquiring STDs. Do a checkup.

    Thirdly, since you've made her pregnant, you've got to take up responsibility and marry her right away. Dont let her wander, dont destroy her life by abandoning them now. Make it halaal. Talk to your parents, her parents and do the nikah. Easier said than done, i know. But its much better for you both to be a halaal couple than not. Its like your child after all. I pray that you dont go seperate ways. She is just perfect for you bro trust me. You both are made for each other. Convince your parents.

    • Salamualaikum,

      Brother Ali, slight correction: the punishments for fornication and adultery are not 80 and 100 lashes. Instead, fornicator gets a 100 lashes and an adulterer gets stoned.

      Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'ala says in Surah Nur, Aayah 2:

      The woman and the man guilty of illegal sexual intercourse, flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a punishment prescribed by Allah, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment. (This punishment is for unmarried persons guilty of the above crime but if married persons commit it, the punishment is to stone them to death, according to Allah's Law).

      It is narrated in Shahih Bukhari and Muslim on the authority of Abu Hurairah that a Bedouin came and said, "O Allah's Apostle! Judge between us according to Allah's laws." His opponent got up and said, "He is right. Judge between us according to Allah's laws." The Bedouin said, "My son was a laborer working for this man, and he committed illegal sexual intercourse with his wife. The people told me that my son should be stoned to death; so, in lieu of that, I paid a ransom of one hundred sheep and a slave girl to save my son. Then I asked the learned scholars who said, "Your son has to be lashed one-hundred lashes and has to be exiled for one year." The Prophet said, "No doubt I will judge between you according to Allah's laws. The slave-girl and the sheep are to go back to you, and your son will get a hundred lashes and one year exile." He then addressed somebody, "O Unais! Go to the wife of this (man) and stone her to death."

      You were probably referring to this Aayah when you said 80 lashes:
      surah Nur, Aayah 4:

      And those who accuse chaste women, and produce not four
      witnesses, flog them with eighty
      stripes, and reject their testimony
      forever, they indeed are the Fasiqun
      (liars, rebellious, disobedient to Allah).

      All this is subject to evidences and witnesses, which are generally unavailable nowadays.

      Wallahu A'lam

      Muhammad Waseem Editor

      • Wa'alaykumsalam brother,

        Oh yea, I did a mistake there, I wrote 80 lashes instead of 100 lashes. Jazak'Allah khair for pointing that out my brother.

        Since childhood I was taught that fornicators gets 100 lashes and then exile for a year and adulterers gets 100 lashes and then stone to death.

        This is what I was talking about-

        Ubada b. As-samit reported that the prophet said " the punishment for married man who has illegal sex with married woman is 100 lashes and then stone to death and the punishment for unmarried man who has illegal sex with unmarried woman is 100 lashes and exile for one year."

        ( Sahih Muslim- book 17- #4192 )

        Thank you

  3. Though you and she committed a sin, a precious life grows within her and I commend her for wanting to keep that gift despite what hardships may come her way. Now I don't know how old either of you are, or what ability you have to raise a child, but know this...the child exists. If you both live at home with your parents it is time to let them know what is going on. There may be anger, recriminations and blame initially, but god willing, both sets of parents can sit down and discuss the issues rationally and arrange for your marriage and decide how best to approach the issue. I wish you both the best.

  4. Salaam brother,
    You have indeed got yourself into a mess and its a tricky one.As I see it you have two options now,BUT, I have NO idea which one to suggest all I can do is pray that you make the right choice.First of all i dont know your age if your age is around 25 then you should marry her,because zina is a huge sin.Second option face the punishment of zina that is 80 lashes and believe me a lash is a very simple word but after you get just one you will know what i mean and you will wish you would have done anything to avoid it.What you have done cannot be undone you will just have to sort it out eighter by involving your elders in this matter because they are bound to find out anyway its just a matter of time before that girl's pregnancy becomes obvious to everyone or face punishment,so better to take the initiative and take action now rather than getting caught later like a criminal.
    Hope everything works out for you and may Allah forgive your sin.

  5. You commited a big sin!
    You may now take up the responsibility to what you have done, in my eyes if you can commit such a big sin then you can also repent and marry this woman and give this child a pious upbringing
    Brother you are so lucky that Allah has given you the chance to be a father there are many people out there trying and trying but it never happends for them count yourself lucky and take up fatherhood and be a good spouse.

  6. Salam Joseph,

    As a mother, I am saddened to learn of your situation. Sadly, this happens every day to young people
    like yourself. Before assuming anything here Joseph, how do you know that this child is yours? Was this girl pure when you slept with her? This is something you need to be certain about. A DNA test can be performed when the child is born to be absolutely positive that this is in fact your child. Having three sons myself, I most definitely would want to know if any of them had fathered a child. You have committed a grave sin by committing zina but then, you already know that. I pray that you will sincerely repent to Allah for your transgressions and step up to the plate and take responsibility for your actions. It's time to man up and tell your parents what has happened.This is nothing you can hide for long and it is not fair to the girl to carry the burden alone. Just take a moment and imagine what this girl is going through. She is scared and like you...unprepared for the consequences of both of yours actions. Prepare yourself as your parents are going to be upset, crushed and a host of other feelings are going to surface. It might get pretty ugly that is for certain. Like all parents, yours have dreams of you acquiring a good education followed by marriage and a family. I am certain that this girls family have dreams for her too. It doesn't mean that those dreams still cannot become a reality, it just means it is going to be a lot harder for both of you. The best place to start would be to sit down with your parents and just be honest and up front with them. From there, I imagine you and your parents are going to have to find a way to work together. Don't ever consider abortion... it is not the answer. It is a sin and this child will not be accountable for the actions of either you or this girl. I can only imagine how scared you are and how you have a pit in your stomach having to deal with something of this nature but this is what happens when we do not follow the rules set in place and the teachings of our beloved Prophet Mohammed (saws). May Allah be with you and your family as well as this young girls and hers. In this life, we all have our trials and tribulations...this is yours.


  7. in the name of allah , most gracious most merciful , first of all dear brother in allah u should back to religion and ask allah to forgive u , because u commited a henious sin , and u shouldnot leave this girl ,but try to get married her coz both of u took part in this crime ,concern ur parent preferable not to tell them about this crime and try to take them to ask this girl's hand , finally may allah guide u to the right path

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