Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Got curses on first day of Ramadan

Hijabi woman with veil drawn over her face, half face

Asalam o Alaikum

I don't know exactly from where to start sharing my feelings what I am going through right now. few years ago I begged to my father (mother passed away) for getting me married to the person who is Shia (I belong to Sunni community) but in my family nobody agreed on that.

After 6 years of wait I decided to get married to him because of self dependence and living all alone for work. I had been always contacting my family on phone, helping my sister financially, she knew about my nikah, other two didn't, two of my sisters are married. after passing my mother two of us were to get married, 7 years have been passed I was waiting that once my younger sister gets married I will tell them about my life.

Now when I have a family and cannot support my sister who could not get married (she has a job) in these many years stopped talking to me because I am not of any use to her. Others I tell about my nikah, so they think I did a wrong thing which will effect their lives and their children's lives.

Still there was a family crisis so they asked me to send big amount. I was unable to arrange that much money but asked my husband to support me and he sent half of the money what I was asked to send once money got transferred except one message of receiving money there was no contact from them, they would not return my calls. Today when I called to wish for Ramadan so one of sister started cursing me badly over the phone said such horrible things to me it torn my heart.

My father is ill I keep calling him frequently but because of his health I am unable to confess to him about my life. I am in such a pain and stress unable to give attention to my baby. My husband has been supportive all the time. He says to forget about it and not to get involved with them anymore. Such a embarrassment in front of him.

Don't know what I should have done? Is this the way siblings hurt each other when they cannot even understand you? How selfishly they all have misused me. I am unable to think anything else. Please tell me if I am wrong. Please give me some advice. I feel I can not deal with this pain. I am depressed and disappointed with life.


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5 Responses »

  1. Dear sister according to islamic teachings your nikah is not valid and you are living haram life and i don,t want to give you false hope but shia are not muslims so your nikah is not valid their aqeedah is not right you should learn i will not say anything more its clear you marry a shia which is not valid in islam

    • As salaamu alaykum Human

      Kindly give references to authoritative statements, by the foremost sahabah, or verses of the Qur'aan, confirming your claim that the Shia'a are not Muslim! If you can Not then please remove your judgmental assessment and Allaah swt knows best!

    • Shut up you psycho fanatic. Show me a hadith or ayat saying its not allowed for sunni and shia to marry?
      Shame on you for using Islam to lie about your own pathetic and demented beliefs. Shame on you for spreading lies about Islam and its principles

  2. I'm not going to comment on the whole marrying and starting a family in secret thing, because you are not asking for advice on that. But the solution to your problem is actually very simple. You said it yourself: Your siblings are selfish and greedy. So...stop sending them money? Doesn't get easier than that. They are adults with spouses and jobs of their own, why are they even asking you for large sums of cash in the first place? Just say no. You are not responsible for them and they have no right asking / begging you for money. The next time they ask for money, just politely say, "sorry, I don't have any to give you".

    My parents had a similar issue with certain family members constantly asking them for loans and investments. Once an uncle took ages paying them back, and another uncle even accused my parents of claiming he owes them more than he does, my parents decided to cut people off, financially. Whenever anyone asks for money these days, my parents just tell them they've spent the money on other investments. And that's enough to make people back off and leave them alone.

  3. Please don't send any more money to your family.

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