Got divorced at the age of 19
The Pathans are Pushto-speaking people of northern Pakistan and Afghanistan. Here we see a group of Pathan men visiting Al-Quds.
Asalaam Alaikum,
I'm a Pakistani girl. I was forcefully married to one of my cousin at the age of 18 and got divorced right after one year. I got really spoiled thinking I'll enjoy life for the rest of my life.
During this time frame, I met a Pakistani guy who was a Pathan but I am from another cast. I fell in love with him. We were together for over an year. He was from UK. We were also in a long distance relationship. He spoke to his parents but they didn't agree. And right after that happened, I moved on.
I found another Pathan guy whom I'm dating currently. We're in the same situation but Alhumdulilah he has guided me into the right path of Islam. I started praying and the relationships with my family has improved immensely. But, he wants to take his time to bring in the rishta at my house. Because I was divorced. Let's say? A month!
There's another guy who wants to marry me. And they also brought rishta into our house but I'm not agreeing because I'm in love with the Pathan guy. But everyone is telling me to marry the other guy as I won't have to hear taunts from anyone in the future, but with the Pathan guy (they say) I'll always hear taunts and I'll never be happy. Is this true about Pathans?
-Young Sister In Love
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Wa'alaikum u salam!
First of all. There is no such kind of relationship exist in Islam which says that you can have a relationship with a boy / man before marriage. I am not saying about physical relationship, I am saying about long term relationships whether it can be of any type. But in case if you are doing a job or doing anything that involves verbal communication with males for a very short period of time is allowed but in proper veil (Hijaab) and in a presence of other Mahrams. In a general sense not alone. Now the definition of veil varies from culture to culture. But in a general Islamic fundamental sense it means to cover your body (including private parts) so that no male feels urge to indulge with a female or which leads a male to provocation of sexual urges. In today's workplace environment it is near to impossible for men to not communicate with a women during office working hours. Because of the nature of their job.
Now as you said about dating. "DATING". There is no such concept in Islam. Now, let's come to the point. Why "dating" is not allowed whether over the internet. Why? because even listening to a women is a type of zina in Islam. and there is a Hadith of Prophet Muhammad sal lal laho elahe wasallam. Now the question is does Islam is so restrictive religion or is it a religion of strict rules. No, not at all. Actually, what Allaah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) wants from us is safety of ourselves from Hell fire. Just think why sexual intercourse is permissible after marriage and is not permissible before marriage. Just think because the male and female are doing the same thing after marriage. The only proper and sensible answer is "FOR GOD SAKE". Yes, for Allaah (subhanahu wa ta'ala). It is the rules of the Almighty Allaah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) that we have to follow being a Muslim.
Now my advice to you is do Istikhara. And leave all types of relationships with males.
Hope your question has been answered insha'Allaah!
Allaah knows the best.
OP: But, he wants to take his time to bring in the rishta at my house. Because I was divorced. Let's say? A month!.....There's another guy who wants to marry me. And they also brought rishta into our house but I'm not agreeing because I'm in love with the Pathan guy. But everyone is telling me to marry the other guy as I won't have to hear taunts from anyone in the future,
most likely this pathan guy is using you just for sexual pirposes.......Listen to every one and marry the other guy.
Assalamualaikum Sister,
There is no system of caste in Islam, if you are a Muslim and he is a Muslim then you both can marry each other. It doesn't matter if you are a pathan or not, if he is a good Muslim you can marry. Don't worry about pathan, etc .
About the taunts I think it is common in the Pakistani and the sub continent culture. The taunts are not restricted to just pathan. Even though it is a bad thing, taunts are done by many Muslims in Pakistan, India and Bangladesh. It is a thing of culture. Don't generalize the taunts to pathans.
It seems that you don't know that dating and meeting with a non mehram is haram in Islam. You seem to so casually mention that you are dating a guy, but dating is haram in Islam. If you want barakah and blessings in your marriage then first stop doing haram stuff.
May Allah grant you a righteous spouse.
I agree totally
this kind of Islam is not right so you life will never be right.Fix or correct your belief .Success lies in deen .The deen that are nabi brought which was complete.If we choose any path on are own we will go astray!Forcing abusing fighting cheating dating is the devil indeed.
All of u should b ashamed pathans are muslins and casts dont matter in islam , a theif rapist etc is in all casts so please if u gana point the finger make sure ur hands are clean!!!!!!
Dont marry him cos i dont think he is right for you. Take your chance on real people with intentions of marrying you not wasting your time. Dating is not allowed under islamic law also go with what you feel is right for you. Dont go the haraam path this only causes more harm than good.
Hello I am a Christian girl with two children. I am getting divorced due to my husbands another affair. My husbands has lot of affairs before and after marriage with me. Now I am going to marry my old friend he is a Pathan. He told me after talaq with my husband I have to sleep with someone as a tradition. This is a punishment for my existing husband. I asked him how it will be a punishment for him its a punishment for me. I don't want to sleep with anyone. My friend says that's in Islam it is the tradition in Karachi Pathan.
I am so confused please help me I am Christian girl going to convert to Muslim but this welcome is not good and I am not that type a girl....please help me.....is it in Islam or is the tradition in Karachi Pathan.