Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Guidance needed for peace of mind

Repentance

Please guide me! aoa

When I was in uni I fell for my classmate so that I was ready to do anything for him. And I did too 🙁

When uni ended I asked him to talk to parents and let's get married - he said let me become something in life first. I detected he is avoiding this topic coz he was perhaps scared of his parents.

I cut off all contacts with him since 3 years. 1 mnth ago I again messaged him and asked same thing but he gave the same answer - that first let me become something then I will talk. I lied to him that my alliance is fixed so never contact me and move on.

I know I did all wrong. I was distracted. I betrayed myself, my parents, my stdz everything. I am highly sorry and I apologised to ALLAH too. I love my parents. It is only ALLAH who saved me from all that and guided me again.

I want to ask if my parents now look for my alliance shall I forget the past and move forward and try to make my marriage a success...I feel bad I betrayed everyone. I did sins...

bt ALLAH IS GREATEST FORGIVER. I trust HIM n HIS decisions for me. HE WILL PLAN BESTEST FOR ME IN SHA ALLAH. Please guide me. Thanks and keep it secret. I know I did sins deliberately in past. :'( I want to forget all that and start afresh.

anonymous8888


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13 Responses »

  1. OP: he said let me become something in life first. I detected he is avoiding this topic coz he was perhaps scared of his parents............. he said let me become something in life first. I detected he is avoiding this topic coz he was perhaps scared of his parents.............I want to ask if my parents now look for my alliance shall I forget the past and move forward and try to make my marriage a success...

    I don't think he is scared of his parents. He was not scared of his parents or Allah when he did it with you. Don't waste your time by wating for him. Becoming some thiing seems just like an excuse.

    Get married to some one who has a good job, good education etc.

    • Here i wanna ask a question that is there any saying or Ahadees for such a man or boys as they play with girls or do time pass and then leave. I agree that girl is also responsible if she indulge in such a relationship but what will you call this act of time passing??

  2. Fizza" Here i wanna ask a question that is there any saying or Ahadees for such a man or boys as they play with girls or do time pass and then leave. I agree that girl is also responsible if she indulge in such a relationship but what will you call this act of time passing??

    Sexual activity out of marriage as a time pass or playing with opposite sex is a sin for men/boys and women/girls. Unfortunately men control women's behavior. Most familes don't get upset if their son has a g/f but they will never allow their daughters to talk to a starnger. No one has ever killed their son for sake of honor.

    There was a time when sex without marriage was looked as a very bad thing and was avoided even in USA.. Now even many young Muslims date secretly in US.

  3. Broken Muslim: he promised to marry me and he took oath on quran dat he vil nva dcve me nor marry anyothr gal he said if i do so itz lyk i marry ma sis or mom and i too take oath dat i acpt u az ma husband and aftr some weks he became physicl he said coz v r married az v take oath i told him dis z wrong but he didnt agree n i commit dat greater sin many timz ....now date for engagmnt waz too fixd on 9 nov 2014 n on 5th he called me n said no to dis marriage....... i also hav attitude prblm

    ur Eng is fyn. u shud not marry a guy who took oath on Quran promising to marry u but dumped u. Tell ur parents to find a better educated guy with a good job for u to marry. Don't fall in luv with any othr guy. U need to talk to some one about your attitude prob. You can share that here if you want.
    Focus on getting good education and a good job.

  4. Now a days it is becoming very common that a guy or girl plays with the feelings and then leave sometimes with a reason whether fake or real ALLAH knows and sometimes without a reason... I have been through similar situation and still going through. I can understand your situation.

    One thing which i got from all this was that when such a pain hits a person, he/she'll come to know about him/herself. Try to know what you are, what sins you have done so far and repent on them. You'll feel better.

    About this, DON'T think about it alot as more you'll think more you'll get into this and you'll become more miserable so DON'T make your miserable by getting into it.

    FORGIVE AND FORGET... Not an easy thing i know i also haven't done it but don't do the same mistake. You have to understand that you have to MOVE ON. MOVE ON for ALLAH, for your own self, for your parents, for your life which is very precious may be not for that guy and his father but you are for the people around you who love you.

    REPENT with the sincere heart, ALLAH forgives 🙂

    Why he done that? Bitter but truth is it's hard to find such reasons so just leave this in ALLAH's hand, HE'll take care of it. Before focusing on world, first focus on yourself. Take a deep breath, Make your self strong, improve your mistakes and move on with a new attitude.

    ALLAH BLESS YOU AND ALL.
    PRAY FOR ALL OF US.

  5. thanku I repent to Allah He knows what is in ma heart I dont hav gredges I forgive those 5 men who used to sexually abuse me during ma childhood wid out der askng but this man ruined ma youth I know mistake z mine I trusted him but whn I broke vid him I knw what he did to me how he blakmald me he went to ma relatvs home called ma cozn ma mother pardond to him dat tym n now when I convncd ma parnts n I also fogv him fo d past acts n 3 dayz lft to d engagnt y he refusd

  6. plz help me m so didturbed ma life z becoming hell make dua for me and advice plz plz plz for the sake of Allah i wanna end ma lyf i want to die how i show ma ugly face to ma future husband how i forget ma past that guy n his father has so much proud coz he dont hav sis.

    Are you scared your husband will find out what you did with your b/f?

  7. OP: i feel so guilty n how he cheated me what tricks he uses make ma life so miserable

    You don't want to marry a boy who made your life miserable. He broke his oath he took on quran dat he vil nva dcve you nor marry anyothr gal he said if i do so itz lyk he marry his sis or mom" Many other girls have gone thru this problem. Search Internet and see if you can find information that can help some one in your situation.

  8. Assalamualaykum Broken muslim

    I maked dua that Allah eases your suffering and guides you with every decision that you make Ameen. Inshallah this pain will get better with time.

    Are you feeling a bit better?

    Remember that with every difficulty comes eases. You might not see it now, but you are healing. The poison leaves bit by bit.

    Try to increase your thikr and sincerity in your prayers. Only in the remembrance of Allah do hearts truly find rest.

    All the best my dear sister. Remember us all in your duas too

    Ma'Salaam

  9. broken muslim: he wanted to meet me alone in his room after dat he cut contact with me but now d problem is i joined d court n he also joined now problem is m sure he will ruin ma life if i marry anyother guy he vill tell ma future husband everything or he vil throw acid on me m so confused now

    Don't meet him alone. Looks like he just wants to use you again for sex..
    What do you mean "I joined d court n he also joined"?
    Has he threatened to harm you or tell your husband about you?
    What country do you live in?

  10. Asalamualykum thanku so much admnstrtr may Allah reward u

  11. Asalaam Alaikkum,
    I am a 22 year old girl and its been 1 year and 4 months since i and my husband got married.i am already running my 7 month pregnancy.As we live in an islamic country(dubai),most of the porn sites are blocked here.My husband is a frequent youtube user.He even watched videos in youtube from toilet.He is very fond of movies and did not stop him from watching movie videos.But last week i found that my husband use to watch sexy videos of actress and models from youtube and google.i was really shocked.i never expected that this would happen in my life.My younger sister(age 20) was staying with us at that time and i had to tell her abt it.She stopped me from letting my parents know abt it and asked me to give him one chance as he promised me he will never do something like that again.She also asked me not to be stubborn with him and that such incidents have taken place with her friends also who were married,nd they took it very silly.

    But as days are passing i feel disgused and ugly about myself.i feel that i am not attractive towards him anymore.we talked abt this couple of times and he told me that there was not any mistake from my side and also that he was sexually satisfied with me and he finds no reason as to why did that happen.As i checked his mobile again i found that he had deleted youtube from his mobile and told me that he would never watch any videos in youtube again.
    I am scared and worried all time thinking about as to believe him or not.And i cannot find any reason to forgive him too as i always kept him happy and satisfied sexually without doing any haraam deeds.Please help me deal with this.

  12. Asalaam Alaikkum,
    I am a 22year old girl and its been 1 year and 4 months since i and my husband got married.i am already running my 7 month pregnancy.As we live in an islamic country(dubai),most of the porn sites are blocked here.My husband is a frequent youtube user.He even watched videos in youtube from toilet.He is very fond of movies and did not stop him from watching movie videos.But last week i found that my husband use to watch sexy videos of actress and models from youtube and google.i was really shocked.i never expected that this would happen in my life.My younger sister(age 20) was staying with us at that time and i had to tell her abt it.She stopped me from letting my parents know abt it and asked me to give him one chance as he promised me he will never do something like that again.She also asked me not to be stubborn with him and that such incidents have taken place with her friends also who were married,nd they took it very silly.

    But as days are passing i feel disgused and ugly about myself.i feel that i am not attractive towards him anymore.we talked abt this couple of times and he told me that there was not any mistake from my side and also that he was sexually satisfied with me and he finds no reason as to why did that happen.As i checked his mobile again i found that he had deleted youtube from his mobile and told me that he would never watch any videos in youtube again.
    I am scared and worried all time thinking about as to believe him or not.And i cannot find any reason to forgive him too as i always kept him happy and satisfied sexually without doing any haraam deeds.Please help me deal with this.

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