My guilt is taking over my life and I can’t trust people.
Assalam-O-Alaikum
I am 17 years old. My past 4 years have been the worst and guilty years of my life. I was in a relationship (not physical, never) with a boy, once he asked me for starting a physical relationship. After that I was very disappointed and felt bad, left him and never talked to any boy again (except if it's necessary). Then after some months, my best friend (female) developed feelings (physical) for me. She asked me if I will like to be physical with her. I, again, was so disappointed and heart-broken.
I always loved her but as a friend. She was the only who supported and comforted me in my bad days. I loved the fact that she's my friend. I always enjoyed her company and felt proud. I used to hug her and tell her that I really love her. But I never meant to be physical and never will. She is just a friend but now I've lost my friend. I hate it:(. I want her to be OK and normal. But she can't help loving me that way.
My parents were often cross with me and accused me of being with the wrong people. I am not completely innocent, as I have done sins. But I have never been physical with anyone, and now I try to avoid sins. But still the guilt gets over me and makes me think that I am guilty and do not deserve the good. This has damaged my mental life a lot, as I feel a lot guilty and I fear to make more friends. I lost my faith in people, and mostly tend to believe that they will use me and they're bad. I crave for some one with whom I can share my whole pain but, can not believe any one anymore. I struggle a lot but some times lose hope. I have become depressed, angry, hurt and heart-broken.
Please help if any one can.
Maria
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As Salaam Alaikum Maria,
May Allah swt reward you for avoiding the evils as you stated. I have been through so much in my life with people--I have even been a victim of rape to someone who claimed to be Muslim. It really did something to rock my faith. But I kept my trust in Allah swt, by the Grace and Mercy of Allah. Don't give up. Here are some ayah that may soothe your aching heart, InshaAllah.
4:81. ...And put your trust in Allah. And Allah is Ever All-Sufficient as a Disposer of affairs.
5:11. ...So fear Allah. And in Allah let believers put their trust.
5:23. ...And put your trust in Allah if you are believers indeed.
7:89. [Shu'aib (AS) said:] "...In Allah (Alone) we put our trust..."
8:2. ...And they (the believers) put their trust in their Lord (Alone)
8:49. ...Whoever puts his trust in Allah, then surely, Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise.
8:61. ...And (put your) trust in Allah. Verily, He is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower.
9:51. Say (O Muhammad SAW): "Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allah has ordained for us. He is our Maula (Lord, Helper and Protector)." And in Allah let the believers put their trust.
9:129. But if they turn away, say (O Muhammad SAW): "Allah is sufficient for me. None has the right to be worshipped but He, in Him I put my trust and He is the Lord of the Mighty Throne."
10:71. [Nuh (AS) said:] "...I put my trust in Allah..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kn8dzCx2Uqw (Dr Zakir Naik ‘Misconceptions about Islam)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pESXwJYYcGo (Dr zakir Naik Women’s Rights in Islam [full]
Salamualaiki my sister,
First of all, I congratulate you for slapping the Shaitaan on the face, when he wanted to lead you astray.
I understand the pain you are undergoing. And Alhamdulillah, know what you have to do. I hope it works.
Regarding friends, maybe your family was right and you may have to look for new friends who would comfort you and not be like the girl you mentioned.
Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: A good and a bad companion are like the bearer of musk and the one who pumps out filth respectively. As for the
bearer of musk, he will either
give you a share, you will smell perfumed air, or you will purchase something from him as for one who pumps out filth, he will either burn your clothes or you will smell something filthy from him (Bukhari and Muslim)
In another Sahīh Hadith, The Messenger of Allah sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said : A man is upon the religion of his freind, and there is no good in freindship with one who does not see for you what he sees for himself.
So, thank Allah that he saved you from bad company.
These events have given you the lessons of life and Allah has tested you and Alhamdulillah, you have succeeded. Know that Allah Loves you.
You know what I do? I do not share my pains with anyone. Whenever I feel some pain, I look for opportunities to be alone and call upon Allah, share my pain with Him and do duas so that He eases them. This way, Alhamdulillah, I have a great feeling. I am at Peace and my love for Allah increases. I feel some kind of strength to face the challenges of life.
This is my experience, and could help you, too.
I strongly recommend you to change your friends and have Muslimaat like yourself and better in your circle, so that you are not led astray. The Shaitaan never stops whispering in the hearts of believing slaves of Allah. We have to seek refuge in Allah from him and his traps.
May Allah Protect you, me and all the Muslims.
You do not have to feel guilty. You have passed the tests. Yes you committed some sins in the process. But Allah protected you from greater sins.
Without hating yourself, act on the lessons you've learnt.
1. Never have a relationship with any other man, until you get married.
2. Choose friends wisely, and share only what has to be shared with them. Whatever you think is killing you inside, be in seclusion and call upon Allah by His Beautiful Names. Insha Allah you'll find Peace and Tranquility.
May Allah Help you in this
Aameen
Wassalamualaikum
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Thank you so much.. your reply really comforted me 🙂
sallam sister
I have the same issue. i feel that i cannot trust anyone. all my freinds betrayed me. one of my closest female freind tried to manipulate me inot having haram relationship with a guy so she could date his freind. I uinderstand you pain your lonliness, however what brother waseem says is correct the solution to our issues is The Quran and Islam.
Allahu akbar
Allah hafiz
Asalamalykum... I realy need a help... Its has being an year I was in a relation wid a boy... (Question deleted by the Editor)
Wa alaikum as Salam sister Juweriya,
Please login to the website and submit your question. Insha Allah, you'll find very helpful advises.
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Asalamalykum bro... I hav registered as u said to me... Now please cud u help in any way u can... I don't know how 2 post any question... I jus wan ur help just help me fron hea itself:(
Wa Alaikum as Salam,
Follow this link:
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/submit-your-question/
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
My question is not getting submitted... Now what should I do... Cud u give any other way apart from here to get in touch with you mohamed waseem? Please give me any other way... Wheras ur number if u r using whatsapp on your phone? Or youe email id if u come online... Bcose I don't use face book... So please help me conecting to u now please 🙁
Sister,
Personal contacts are discouraged. You can try again a little later.
Did you follow the instruction on this page for submitting the question?
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/submit-your-question/how-to-submit-your-question-as-a-draft/
Follow those instructions.
You can even try this direct link after you log in, type your question completely, give a title and submit for review:
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Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor