Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Feeling guilty and hypocritical after exposing my body online

Web cam, webcam

I did something bad on a webcam and now I need Allah's forgiveness

Assalamu Alaikum,

I'm a Muslim girl and I've always been somewhat religious and have constantly tried to be a good Muslim.  Therefore I've always had a very good reputation in my community and amongst family and friends for being a respectable girl.

However I made a mistake and have been feeling extremely guilty ever since.  I met a guy online and one thing led to another until I showed him some parts of my body online, and he did too.  I have repented to Allah but I can't seem to forget about it and it's making me feel dirty and disgusting all the time.  Also I can no longer accept praise from anyone because I constant feel like a hypocrite and not as good a Muslim as I seem.

I would hate for anyone to find out about what has happened but I keep wondering if it's better I tell a close friend in order to relieve the guilt.  I also worry about a picture or video of me being posted on the internet and, worse, being seen by anyone I know.

I feel extremely terrible about this and I pray to God every day and I hope he will forgive me but I don't know what I should do now? Is there another way to repent and ask forgiveness from God? Does this constitute zina? Would it be better to tell or keep it secret? Would I have to tell my prospective husband?

Thank you in advance.

- happiness

Tagged as: , , , , , , , ,

11 Responses »

  1. Salam dear sister

    Yes, what you have committed is a sin, but you have repent and feeling guilty about it so you are forgiven. Allah forgives all your sin if you repent sincerely and make tawbah. You must not tell anyone about your sin. Never tell anyone, because that is haram you must conceal this sin forever. The sin is between you and allah and allah have forgiven you has concealed your sin. If you have repented then you are forgiven. You shouldn't feel guilty, yes it was bad and yes it was a sin, but we are all human and we all make mistakes. Allah is very kind and forgives all your sins if you repent.

    Allah the Almighty has said: “O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as its.”

    Allah is kind and merciful, he will forgive you. Its good that you feel guilty and ashamed and have asked allah's forgiveness. But feeling to much guilt that is leading you to distress is not good after you have repented. Disbelievers if they committed this sin would of not have repented and would'nt of been ashamed, but you sister have repented so you are forgiven. Don't feel dirty or upset, you should pray 5 times a day and follow your deen closely allah will always be there for you.

    May allah guide you The most gracious the most merciful

  2. Assalamu alaikum warahamathallahi wabarakathuhu,

    Like what the brother said above, if you sincerely repent, then allah(swt) will forgive. Raise your hands to him in prayer, and it is said that he feels ashamed when your lower hands empty handed. Also, sis this was no luck, it happened for a reason. Use this as oppertunity to get closer to the deen of Allah(swt). I also commited a very bad sin, but it made me realise how important islam is and now i feel evermore closer to Allah(swt). Try checking on maybe doing the sunnah prayer, tahajjad, witr, extra fasting on mon and thurs plus the fast on the day of Arafah. These are wonderful oppertunities to ask forgiveness. Plus, month of ramadan is approaching soon, its the best time to ask for forgiveness. Its never too late sis, every little deed counts.

    Your sister in Islam.

  3. Aslamoalaikum my dear sister,
    I hope you are feeling better. Although you committed a big sin, there is hope for you as you want to make amends and change your ways inshAllah.

    The conditions for repentance are well known:
    1. Leaving the sin;
    2. Remorse over having committed the sin;
    3. Resolve never to return to the sin;
    (If it relates to the rights of another person, then to) Return the rights or property one wrongly took. [al-Bariqa fi Sharh al-Tariqa; Riyad al-Salihin]

    If these conditions are truly met, then one can expect one's sins to be forgiven. However, one has to be very careful about how sincere one is in fulfilling one's conditions. It is recommended to seek forgiveness a lot, and to repent every time the sin comes to one's mind.

    So sister although you did commit a big sin you can seek repentance till you are alive and vow never to return to that path again. I understand how worried you may be thinking that others may find out. Rest assured the internet is a huge database and there is a very minute chance that anything regarding you may be posted on it. Do not worry about this as this is shaitaan’s way of trapping you and not allowing you to move on. Put your faith in Allah swt and leave it up to him. Make lots of duaa for yourself and inshAllah nothing of such will happen.

    If you haven’t already done so, you must immediately finish contact with this person as he was becoming the source of your destruction. Part of being truly forgiven by Allah swt is vowing to never return to that sin again and in your case this guy was leading you to this grave sin, so you must finish all contact with him. In regards to feeling guilty and hypocritical, my dear sister we are humans and we are prone to commit error. But the best of us are those who commit a sin and realize that they have wronged Allah swt and their soul and never return to that path again. So do not despair and let your guilt eat you from inside. It is good however to feel a certain degree of guilt as it will keep you away from sinning in the future but try not to let it go out of control. Learn to put a stop to your emotions. It’s difficult but with practice it is accomplishable.

    In regards to revealing your sin to other people (i.e.: a close friend or your potential spouse), it is recommended not to do so as Allah swt commands that you conceal your sins. The rational behind it is that it decreases the severity of the sin and often times people start thinking it is something normal and everyone does it so it’s okay to do it also (i.e.: having a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship has become so common today mainly because everyone talks about it so openly which decreases it’s severity as a sin—people begin to think “Well if he or she is doing it why can’t I? It’s become so common today, I guess it’s normal and okay, etc, etc).

    For further details in regards to exposing your sins, here is a link that you can read over that brother Wael has posted on this website:

    So my dear sister, offer salat if you are not already doing so, recite Quran, busy yourself with family and good friends and take up a hobby if you can. Also, I can’t stress this enough but stay away from this guy and cut all contact with him if you haven’t done so already. He is no good and will throw you off track completely. I hope you understand this sister as this step is very important for you to heal.

    May Allah swt give you patience and strength to overcome this difficult phase in your life, ameen.

    -Helping Sister

  4. Salam all,

    Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement! I feel a lot better now because it was very difficult for me keeping it all inside. I have of course repented and I ask Allah for forgiveness every day. I still feel terrible but I'm hoping I will feel a bit better in time. Thank you all, I will definitely take all your advice.

    • Walaikumusalam sister,
      it's so good to hear from you and to know that you are moving forward alhumdulillah. Keep striving and walking forward. I assure you, with time you will move forward with your life inshAllah. Just focus on healing yourself right now and try not to wallow yourself in guilt nor grief. You are being tested from Allah swt so be consistent with your salat and practice patience. Both these things will do you tremendous good.

      Best wishes,
      -Helping Sister

  5. Sister, I tink you are very brave to confront you past mistakes the way you are. May Allah bless you and keep us all on the straight path. Who said Islam would be an easy road to travel in this life? Without Allah's ever prevailing forgiveness we would all be downtrodden and hopeless. Pray for me and for the rest of the ummah. Confide in Allah and be happy.

  6. Please dont even think about telling anyone about it because your relationship with that person may turn sour and they'll rat on you.

    Allah has been merciful to you by concealing it. So show gratitude for this and count on HIM to conceal it forever.
    Something similar happened to me as well and I felt soooooooooooo dirty I couldn't believe I could ever do such a thing in my life. It took so many tears and istigfars in the presence of Allah before I had that pious and clean feeling again.

    Because I couldnt stand being seen as Holy anymore (I had built that reputation over the years) I felt hypocritical if i did not tell someone. I told my mum and a friend. While my mum has and is still concealing it for me, the friend I told said sometimes he doubts in his mind I didn't do more than I revealed. In my case there was no body exposure but some mild physical contact and I felt really really bad for months but this friend I confided in kept saying perhaps I did more than that. so right now I just pray he doesnt mess me up.

    so my dear, thank Allah for this, wipe your tears and feel good. you have done exactly what Allah wants - TAWBAH. Infact your shame and guilt are an indication of your faith. A bad person would feel no shame

    Allah merely wants to make you a better person and teach you some lessons. For me, the lesson learnt was - I now know I'm vulnerable and weak and can only be strong with Allah's help. I am a VERY disciplined person when it comes to a lot of issues especilly men and I believed i was strong for 30yrs until Allah changed my circumstances 'negatively' and my resolve was weakened. It was a test and I feel I failed but Allah knows best.

    Alif-Laam-Meem. Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: ‘We have faith’, and will not be tested? And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allah will certainly make known, those who are true, and will certainly make known those who are liars." (al-‘Ankaboot 29:1-3)

  7. sister there is tauba for tauba and promise ALLAH not to do it again.and there is a hadith which discribe that if you commited some sin you have to hide it instead of exposing.Thanks.May ALLAH help you.

  8. Salam everyone. i also have been suffering from the same problem which you have. one or two days back, i also showed my private parts to someone on skype and that person recorded it and threatened to send that clip to all my contacts. i have been so distressed since that incident and i i am unable to concentrate in my studies and everything else. i realize that what i did was a great sin and insha Allah will never do that again.. but i am freaking out if he posts that video of mine online. please guide me what to do... i have been seeking help from Allah but i am still worried about that person.

  9. Assalamoalaikum Sister,
    I can understand how you are feeling.I am a highschool student and i did the same mistake too.I am really ashamed because I belong from a family which is really pious.I pray five times a day but I can't understand how I got trapped by Satan and did such huge mistake.
    May Allah forgive us all.

  10. Ask for forgiveness, maybe even give some money/food in charity or sadaqah.
    feel the regret and vow to never repeat the sin.

    and please DONOT EVER disclose your sins to any human.
    maybe if you want to confide into someone, then ensure its your outsiders.

    I hope Allah guides us all.

Leave a Response