Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Halal way to approach the guy I like?

teenage teacher student

السلام عليكم
Okay, so there's this guy who i've liked for some time. I used to see him on the way to school but now we've finished our exams (yr11), i don't see him anymore. I wanted to add him on social media and talk to him but i know it's islamically not the right approach. So i found out a little about him through my friends who went to the same school as him. (Found out he's really religious, which isn't surprising given the way he presents himself). They also told me he has a sister. i was thinking of adding his sister on social media and talking to her. Do u think im doing the right thing?If yes, how do i go about it? Any rough guidelines you may want to share? What do i even say to his sister? Wouldn't she find me strange if she saw some random girl pop up to her saying she likes her brother? Also, please don't tell me to get a wali or something involved. i don't have one. The only male relatives i have are maternal uncles and cousins and i don't have any sort of relationship with them AND they all live on the other side of the world. If i were to get married in future i would have to have the imam as my wali. Hope u understand there is no way i can bring in a male relative. What do i do? Should i talk to his sister? What do i say?


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3 Responses »

  1. Wallaykumassalaam missm31,

    I think it is ok for you to talk to his sister. You can add her on social media and ask her for her phone number so that you can have a verbal conversation. Tell her of your interest in her brother, and also that you are only interested in marriage if he is interested. Inform her that an Imam would be your Wali. Go from there. Just be direct, but with her and not with him.

    Inshallah the boy you love will be interested.



  2. Wa Alekum Assalam,

    I agree with sister Nor,

    Make friends with his sister and if possible also try to make friends with his mother.

    Because if you express your feelings to either of them, this could become a topic not to be ignored as you have chosen the halal way of future marriage between you and him.

    Hope it goes out well and I pray it goes well. InshaAllah.

    Last but not least, make istikhara.

    Wa salam Alekum

    • His sister and mother if they are conservative might not like a girl to approach directly for the marriage .
      Just have a normal friendship and think about next course of action after you got to know them and the situation .
      Don't be in a hurry to talk about your feelings .

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