Has my past ruined my future?
I am a 20 year old girl. I had been into wrongful acts of zina with other guy for three months, however that guy is now married and I have stopped all contacts with him and repented for my sins .
I was going to get engaged to my fiancé who loves me a lot and has done everything to marry me. He worked hard for 6 years to convince my parents and marry me. However he enquired about my past before engagement and I have confessed about my illegal relationship. I was wrong in confessing but he said knowing all my truth and if I'm truthful to him he will accept me for my reality and if he knew it from someone else he will leave me so I have confessed each and everything to him.
Now he denies from getting engaged and marrying me as he says he will find a more pure and chaste women. I repent and can't forget about my past - it is haunting me each day and night since a month nor can I forget about him .He says he needs time for 2 -3 months to decide whether to get engaged and accept me after I pleaded with him that I have changed myself and everything of mine
I am become too insecure.. I have lost patience and I have lost all connections with people and cry each minute to Allah for why has He done this to me..
I need guidance as to whether I shall insist him on marrying me as he knows my past and forgive and forget for all of this.
Or shall I give him his space and let him marry another girl? He can't forget about me nor can I forget him. I love him a lot and was wrong in cheating him. He is hurt with the truth that I have done this acts for he says he can't respect me anymore nor can he betray his family by giving them a girl who is not chaste.
Please help me.
Shasab
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Dont worry let him go give him space.
You have repented and continue to repent that's it leave to Allah now.
The only other thing I will say is if he comes to marry you fine and not to discuss anymore of the past. If he doesn't come back then dont lose hope there will be someone else who will except you.
Do not disclose your past again to anyone leave it to Allah.
I do feel how alot of people do have a problem with peoples past but you cant change it but one thing you can change and that's the future. May it become easier for you inshAllah.
As salaam Aleikum sis,
Allhamdulilah tou repented and moved on in a good way and May Allah swt Accept your repentance.
As for the brother you can't insist on anything. I would back off and let him make his own decision. And even if he says he wants to proceed and marry you, you must make sure he will not hold your past against you in the future. He has already said that he wants a 'chaste' girl for his family. If you have sincerely repented and you are a practising sister then you are chaste. Don't feel put down by his words, this is simply his way of thinking. It's not representative of all men.
It is better leaving a prospect of marriage that has not worked out than marrying and then suffering because of a past that is gone.
I also encourage you to read up on not disclosing past sins as it is not encouraged to do so in Islam. You can be honest and still not disclose your sins. There is no need for this. There are many threads on the forum on this so do have a read.
And don't be sad sis. InshAllah there is something better in store for you. Rely on Allah swt and Him Alone.
These kind of posts shows how zina has become so common in muslim community .I see frequently the mails like since you have repented now you are chaste woman now ..Is it so easy ? Have zina freely and then so called repentence and now pious ?
What is your point? Would you prefer that she not repent and continue in sin? Besides, there is nothing easy about it. She says, "it is haunting me each day and night."
To sister Shasab, what do you mean when you say that you are crying to Allah and asking why He has done this to you? What do you imagine Allah did to you? Did Allah tell you to commit zinaa? No, you did this to yourself, sister, and now you must accept the consequences. I will tell you plainly that your fiancé will never forgive you or trust you completely. You need to let him move on and find someone else.
I hope you have learned a lesson from this and will avoid such deeds in the future. Also, from now on keep your past mistakes to yourself. Do not reveal what Allah has concealed.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Allah swt says in the Quran:
[49:12]
[39:53]
[7:157]
[53:32]
Allah swt commands us and speaks to us, Muslims and all of the humanity through the Quran. Why would Allah swt ask us to enjoin the good and forbid evil if we would just do it. We aren't told to breathe everyday, because we do it involuntarily and don't need to be instructed to do so. There is no need to be alarmed at what is happening in the Muslim community as we are part of the human community and prone to sin.
& Finally, why are some of us so obsessed with other people being forgiven after sinning--are we sure that Allah swt will forgive our small sins?
asalamu aleikum sis
my dear u repented n regret wat u did and dats very good may Allah accept it as for d bro u wanted to marry seems not sraightforward person to me why back off after u told him your past and by d way is he d one marrying u or his family honestly i see red flag here .sis never loose hope in asking Allah to bless u with d right spouse put your trust in Allah and he will guide u.and only Allah knows d best
may Allah make it easy for u dear
Assalamu Alaikum Ukhti Fillah,
first, Alhamdoulilah you repent, you turned to your God,
Thank him he choosed you to enter his paradise inshallah, feeling sad about what you did means you sincerely repent, but do not forget that you should have faith in allah, he surly forgave you if your repentance is sincere which im sur it is, i would love to let you know about the Hadith of Rassul Allah Salla Allahu Alayhi Wa sallam " the one who repents from sin is like one who did not sin at all " narrated by Ibn Maajah .
for your fiancé just do not care about that its not good a muslim should forgive the others and conceal the sins of others, so ask allah that one day you will find someone who deserve you , a pious woman like you Inshallah.
And please remember, Do Not reveal your sins which Allah has concealed, it's really haram. Even if Your future husband asked you do not tell him about it, and deny what you did ( you can ask any Imam about that ), he doesn't have any right to know about your past.
and finally i hope that these little words helped you a little, pray to your god and inshallah you will find happiness.
As Salamu Alaykum
Dear SIS,
Here I have something to say. My fiance told me about her life. She told she was raped then she had to allow him some times due to his black mail. Then I accepted her. She always asked Almighty Allah about forgiveness. We have trust now I knw she will tell me everything that is all I care. I thank The Rahman Allah for this thing.
I love her. Now that rapist returned and want to marry her. He is telling she is innocent and he want to marry her. She dont want to leave me but that man says he is rightful. I asked her whether she want to go back? She told
"I prepared myself for You in the name of Allah". I dont know who is rightful ???
He again black mailing us that he will tell her parents. I dont know what should we do. I am asking The Malik Allah who is rightful?If someone wants to release oneself form sin then the sin will punish that person. we will take it but we want the help from The Rahim Allah.
Any one can suggest me who is rightful and what should we do?