Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I haven’t seen my husband in ten years, am I still married?

Missing husband, absent husband, man with suitcase at airport


I am here for the first time and I really would do with some advice...

But I need to give you an insight to me and my life...

Here goes... I am 31, and I had an arranged marriage at 16. I lived in India for 3 yrs, until he decided to send me here for a vacation. Four months later he sent me divorce papers.

I knew he would do that as he was also dating his cousin. I never spoke to him about it as I clearly knew why.

Then when I was 22 my parents decided I should re marry, so I did again with their choice. Which lasted 3 months. Before this marriage I clearly asked him if he has a British visa and is he settled here? He and his family said yes. This was a lie and also my family lied.

I wanted to finish my studies and marry the following year but his family and my family insisted to marry straight away. I did. Then only to realise he hadn't had a British visa and once we apply for a visa he will call his girlfriend from back home. It was month of Ramadhan when I got to know this. We had arguments. He then left saying he's going to do Eid with his family and will come get me later. He never came and I never heard from him either. I tried contacting him many times only to hear from his family they also don't know where he is. I miscarried this time and I heard later he was spreading rumours we never had physical relations.

My question to you is, am I still married to him as I have had no connection with him for 10 years and I do not know his whereabouts? I want to move on but I have a guilt that I am still married to him but unable to get a divorce as I do not know where he or his family are at now. Please please help me and I need your guidance.


- Notoriousbillyz

Tagged as: , , ,

3 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    No matter how much time elapses away from your spouse, without an official divorce you are still considered married. However, in cases of abandonment like you are describing, you have the right to ask the Imam to assist with securing a divorce outside of gaining a talaq directly from your husband. I would suggest consulting with your local imam to find out what you need to do to properly end this marriage.

    -Amy Editor

  2. You can ask any qazi to give you qulah thats it you have a legal reason to get divorce .And for sure you can move on . Consider yourself you are not married as you dont have any valid reason .

    When a husband is intentionally away for 6months without any reason , the girl has a reason to get divorce then 10 years is more than suffice time to consider urself that you are not married

    May Alllah swt guide you and protect you ameen

  3. If you live in the uk there are two sharia councils that act as a divorce courts. One in london, and one in dewsberry.
    You go on their website and you follow the instructions and this is the only way to freedom.
    I would advise to go with dewsberry as they are faster and cheaper and also very serious.
    This link will give you more info

    And may Allah give you a nice husband

Leave a Response