Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Having Haram relationship before marriage

True Love

Assalam o Alaikum. I am a 19 year old muslim girl, I have been in a relationship with a Muslim boy for 3years but now we both broke up because me ex boyfriend had committed zinnah with another girl he even drinks etc . This broke my heart and we got separated. Although we both love each other so much and even want to get married but he couldn't control his sexual desires. Within these two years we have been physical we kissed and cuddled. We even had nude video calls and i know that it is very shameful. But we thought we would get married but now it's over. I still talk to him because I really love him and I think if I talk to him and at the end if we get married to each other Allah swt will forgive both of us but I also know that Allhamdullilah I am a virgin girl and I do deserve a virgin guy. My parents know about that guy but not about the getting physical stuff. They are ready for our marriage in future. But I am confused. What should I do? What is better for me? How will Allah forgive me? How should I repent?

Muslim girl

Tagged as: , , , , , , , , ,

16 Responses »

  1. leave him, he drinks, he didnt mind watching his "gf" and i mean you broadcasting her nude body online so basically he has no respect for women, let alone self respect.

    the fact that he cheated on you because he couldnt control his "sexual desires" is a lame excuse, if we give into our desires,whims, fancies, moods then we are no better than animals.
    what makes you so sure he wont be cheating on your after marriage?

    you have a decent heart and soul, inspite of the haram you have done so far, make tawbah to Allah, NEVER see and talk to this guy and ask you parents to look for an nice guy for you.

    Note to Editors 1: please make another page or link where you post Marital website links so people can access them and benefit from them insha Allah.

    Note to Editors 2: Wael, you posted a few links on another page, but the first one was a paid site, i wouldnt have posted it if i were you since that in itself is a barrier and seems like advertising. im not criticizing brother i am only giving you how as an end user of this forum i would see your links ( im certain your intentions are well placed).

    Note to Editors 3: useful FB pages that are free and actually work:


    anyone who wants to register will need to contact the admins on those pages ( i am not one, infact i am also up there looking for a match lol)

    Insha Allah i hope this helps

    Allah knows best, may HE guide us all.

  2. Aslamualaikum sis,

    That is very good that u have controlled yourself from getting involved in intercourse. But still making physical relation is strictly prohibited in islam so you must ask for forgiveness from ALLAH SWT. Do tobah and make promise to ALLAH that u will not get involved in such relationship again.
    May ALLAH bless you.

    Ask him if he want to marry you. Tell him to send his family. If he is not willimg to marry it would be better to forget him rather than being slave to ur desire of loving him. You deserve much better than him who can't control his sexual desir and if he can make relationship with other ls now when it is beginning of ur love how can u guarantee he will be homesr with u after marry..

    ALLAH knows better..

    If he can't be honest with you it would be better to move on. There is much more in life. Save your love and affection for your husband. Don't spoil your life.

  3. GOODLUCK IN THESE TIMES FOR A VIRGIN GUY...WELL UNLESS HE WAS breeded FROM SMALL INTO THE MADRESSAH system AND THEN STRAIGHT TO BECOME A SUNNI SCHOLOR..THE CHANCES ARE BETTER....BUT THE WAY THE WORLD IS AT AND THE MUSLIMS CHASING THE WORLD WE GO TO MAKE SURE THAT WE keep asking for Allah's help......IN YOUR CASE YOU MUST UNDERSTAND YOUR PURPOSE CRYSTAL CLEAR. ..WE ARE hear FOR A GREAT PURPOSE AND THE INVISIBLE CLOCK Hangs over us .Don't worry about getting married and all that stuff......Most likely you are not ready.......being at home cook clean kids laundry ...Oh by the way the devil is out to get you both.......take a look around you how many people just live out of wedlock divorce rate at high time point.....At 1st your in love He will use you as a sex machine and then after some time he can't get it up....looks at other women and fantasies them....this the reality spoken from a guy who was in the world of material experience and friends and from a diverse multicultural family I have seen people who don't have Iman. ....they are all failures....cursed because they do not believe in Allah and obey his commandments. ...they think they are in control......You must be with pious sisters attend the mosques invites lectures involved with the sisters programs make friends help people be involved with fundraising camps.....besides all this Salat is obligatory on every male female adult...with out this we are doomed and lost everything.....Salat is the key to success. THE ELDERS SAY THAT LESS THEN 5%PRAY SALAH..AND OUT OF THAT 1%PRAY WITH CONCENTRATION AND DEVOTION. NEXT READING THE QURAN...JUST GOOGLE THE LIST OF VIRTUES OF QURAN...

    NEXT ARE WE EATING %100 halal without doubting. ..wearing modest dress .....listening to music looking at opposite sex especially if we are talking to them.....You see all of this are channels to the heart.....until it becomes black with sins..and you become deaf dumb n this world? You must learn the basics and have a solid foundation. ..your day must have a routine of AMMALS zikr hadith quran....or else you will lose at the eND. ........My wife is a scholor and till this day for 13 years she has a routine that never changes.....
    Because this will build a strong bond with you creator and the veils of darkness will be lifted all because you believe.....just look at the beautiful story of pharons wife and how she died....just Google it....what a real women with so much Iman. ....By the way when the time comes ...Look for a person who is soft in speech and definately fears Allah but he is not harsh with anyone he is calm n smart and very positive....speaks little for he knows something......He also knows that being a role model in society and very educated as to help the poor and establish goodness

  4. Assalam-o-aliakum
    Sister,the only two word which i have for him"leave him" and for you"Move on"!Nothing could better than this.He usually have activites which is strictly prohibited in Islam.cut off all the links with him and even watching his profile that whether he is happy or sad.
    As far as the concern of a muslim man then you deserve it.
    According to Quran:
    “A man guilty of adultery or fornication does not marry other than a woman guilty of adultery or fornication, or an idolatress, and as for a woman who committed adultery or fornication, no one but a man who committed adultery or fornication, or an idolater, marries her. And that has been prohibited for the Believers.” [al-Quran 24:3]
    However,Ask forgiveness for Allah repent today without wasting one second!

    According to hadees:

    Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying:
    Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, said: I live in the thought of My servant and I am with him as he remembers Me. (The Holy Prophet) further said: By Allah, Allah is more pleased wth the repentance of His servant than what one of you would do on finding the lost camel in the waterless desert. When he draws near Me by the span of his hand. I draw near him by the length of a cubit and when he draws near Me by the length of a cubit. I draw near him by the length of a fathom and when he draws near Me walking I draw close to him hurriedly.
    Reference : Sahih Muslim 2675 h
    In-book reference : Book 50, Hadith 1

    Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying: Allah is more pleased with the repentance of His servant when he turns penitently towards Him than one of you would be on finding the lost camel.
    Reference : Sahih Muslim 2675
    In-book reference : Book 50, Hadith 2

    Hope that helped,
    May Allah reduce your worries!
    Allah((S.W.T)knows best and guides us best!

  5. Pls Do Marrige Only Your Parents Will..

  6. Walikum salam , sis , prophet sw told us to marry those who have piety , character , good behaviour
    if not thn uil b doomed in both lives , if he can betray his god then he can betray u too , he may leave. U cheat u do zina get drunk.. abandon prayer. If he doesnt pray hes already a kafir ,married to such person will b harram.

    Some harsh reality check , u need to check where u stand in deen if ur loving such a sinfull defected man , we usualy like ppl similer to us ,follow deen ,pray salah read quran hadith and follow its rules or uil hv no sucess , this life is for akhira remember , we may die today ,dont run after dunya material things all is fake end soon thn uil open eyes.

  7. Do not marry him.

    stay a virgin.

    make good choices.

    go find a husband.

    b w/him

  8. Assalam o alaikum
    ALHAMDULILLAH i am a muslim girl and i am in a relationship. The boy who i love ALHAMDULILLAH he loves me too we haven"t met eachother but we talk to eachother on phone call or on facebook i have send him my pics he has only seen my face he wishes to marry me in future bt all he wants is one thing that he wants to touch me before marriage i tried to convince him that it is a sin. what should i do now?

    • Break up with him. If he is insisting on committing haram, then he is not a good Muslim and not someone you should marry. He is just playing with you.

      Wael Editor

    i want to ask that is it haram to hug or kiss or have sexual intercourse with someone while dreaming.

    I wanna ask that can we talk romantically with a na mahram girl or boy?

  11. Allah says in Quran
    pure man to pure women and impure man to impure women and more

    you are pure and ask pureness from Allah
    then you should believe in Allah and search for pure man
    Allah is all knower and seer

Leave a Response