Islamic marriage advice and family advice

He fell in love with the fake me!

Real marriage or fake marriage?

Hey guys,

I will not reveal my name. I am in a trouble right now, please tell your opinions of what I should do.

Actually there's a boy whom I have talked to for 4 to 5 months last year. I was having a fake account for pranks, and I uploaded a girl's pic who was not my friend. She was an unknown girl to me; I saw her on Facebook and I uploaded her pic for which I am very guilty right now.

That boy fell in love with me. He proposed and I rejected, but a few weeks later I also fell in love with him. He was not aware that I had a fake account and that the pic was also not mine. I also proposed to him then.

After a few months I realized that he was getting attached to me. I was scared because I was fake. I was really in love with him, so I thought if he is gonna get attached to the fake me, how is he gonna love the real me? So I started fights with him for no reason, and then I broke up with him and told him that I never loved him etc etc so that he would hate me, and I left him.

I cried a lot because I loved him from the core of my heart. I just left him because I was fake and I wanted him to love the real me. So I started praying to Allah that He do something because I wanna get married to that guy. I really prayed for this, and I was having my full trust on Allah that He's gonna make us married.

Now after one year when I logged into that account, there were his messages saying that he really cried for me and he never ever cried for anyone like this. I told him sorry, then asked why doesn't he hate me, as I did wrong to him. He said he was sincere, and that he really loved me even when he  doesn't know my real name, identity and hasn't seen me yet.

-Almeeraaftab123

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5 Responses »

  1. Your big mistake was not the fake account, though that is bad and dishonest. Your big mistake was crushing the boy´s heart by deliberately driving him away and telling him you never had feelings for him. And you did this why? Because of your cowardice to admit that you used a fake photo. You deserve to lose that boy and never be with him.

    However, sometimes life offers second chances. If you truly want to make up for your mistake, you do not need to ask Allah to do something. You can do it yourself. Tell the boy honestly what happened, just as you have told us, and ask his forgiveness. Then let him decide. If he is still interested, then inform your parents and proceed from there.

    I suspect your problems will end there though. How will your parents react to a proposal from some boy on Facebook who they do not know? Probably not well. Is the boy even in your area? Is it practical for your families to meet? These are serious questions you have to consider. If it´s not a practical match, then you are just wasting time end emotional energy on something that is not truly real.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. Creating a fake account to prank and hurt a guy’s heart is not nice. You hurt someone like that, someone will hurt too. If you tell him the truth, I doubt he wants anything to do with you.

  3. How are you making this about you? It's all about what you want, isn't it? It wasn't enough that you broke his heart, you went back to your fake account and got him to reaffirm his feelings for you. Why? To boost your own ego? Why would you do that to him? Why did you need to know why he doesn't hate you?

    In my opinion, there's probably no going back from this...if you tell the guy the truth, he's most probably going to get even more hurt, and he most likely won't forgive you or see you in the same light as he did before he found out you lied to him in this manner. It's probably best if you tell the guy that you're really sorry that you hurt him, and that knowing yourself, you'll probably end up doing it again. Tell him you want to deactivate your social media accounts to focus on your mental health and wellbeing, and that you wish him all the best - and then deactivate your fake account and never log into it again. Leave the poor guy be, and focus on getting married to someone you have a chance to get to know in person rather than online...

    Alternatively, you can come clean about everything once and for all. But I don't imagine anything good will come out of it...

  4. Assalaamualaykum Almeera,

    Whoa. There's a lot to be said here, but I will try to be concise and simple.

    Lying is against Islam with very few exceptions, and your situation is not one of those. Posting a fake picture of yourself is a lie.

    Stealing is against Islam, and you stole some other girl's photo and made it your own. How would you feel if someone took your real picture and made it their own?

    Toying with this boys feelings without having any intention of your parents getting involved to further the attachment is against Islam.

    Nevertheless, I don't believe it is necessarily over for you and this boy, because it sounds like there are genuine feelings involved (he was crying and you are anxious). That is, if you can be a mature, responsible, and kind adult about it from here on out. I'm assuming you've already replaced the photo with your own. Can you ask your parents to talk to the boy and ask him if he is interested, and if so, if they can talk to his parents? Ask him for his parents phone number or e-mail address?

    Allah has endless mercy and forgiveness, and some humans practice the same. If this boy has forgiven you and is still interested, there may be hope for you yet.

    I wish you the best,

    Hugs,

    Nor

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