Islamic marriage advice and family advice

He hasn’t contacted me for 2 weeks! Should I call him?

Assalam alaikum wr wb....
My lovely brothers and sisters, I would like to share my thoughts with you.

Am from west part of Africa, all my life have dream of marrying an Arab man or half Arab. Actually I have my reasons for this, I don't know why but I never have had any deisre for black men.

But there's confusion as I have never travelled to any Arab country.So it happened that that one day I was on facebook and I come across a page called "muslim looking for halal marriage" so I posted to the that I will like to met an Arab man who fear Allah for serious marriage. 3days later I recieved a message from brother who said he read my post and he will like to know me. So I told him that am a good muslim, I told him why I want to marry an arab. This brother told me that his from Mecca but his parents are staying in Mauritania and his staying there as well.

This brother asked about my family, and I asked him too about is family as well. So i send him a mssg that i will like to know about his future plan, this brother once send me his phone number but I told him theres no need of him giving me his no, so when I waited for his reply concerning his future plan this brother didnt reply. So I called him to know if his okey and he told me that he was sick but his getting better.

Two days later he called me and asked me if i have skype ID, I told him I have but I can't? use skype at that time because I am in school and I use my phone internet brower and i can use skype on my phone, i told him to reply me via facebook inbox or if he have yahoo messenger ID i can add him to my messenger, so I give him my yahoo ID.

So since than this brother has not sent me any message or call me.
So my question is can I call him and ask why he didnt reply or call me? Plus this brother is a good muslim, may be he thing calling is haram or something like that, but I want to know why he hasn't replied me for almost two weeks now. Plz advice me, what do you think i can do in halal way that wont make this brother think may be am a bad muslim for calling him?

-sister R


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2 Responses »

  1. dear sis assalamualaikum

    i would strongly suggest you to not to find your husband via internet. Best is that your family find someone for you through their contacts and you tell them your prefrences what you are looking for. They may not be able to find someone exactly like the picture you have in your mind but he will be definitely better than he you will end up if you go with solely your own choice. Sister you dont know anything about arabs. Good and bad people are everywhere. And arabs can be very good and they can be very bad too.

    Marriage is a very serious matter and no step should be taken without the consent of the family. Read salat and dua for the husband who will be good for you in duniya and akhira..inshAllah

  2. Sister,

    I do not know much about online relationships, some succeed and others don't, but I do not think you should look for a spouse online either as Rubaekhan has mentioned. You do not know who is on the other side, it is much easier to pretend to be someone you are not. What if there is a good African man who can treat you well & fear Allah what then? If you really think you can't marry an African man, then I suggest you go to an Arab country (not by yourself, but by your brother, father, etc.) and find some good men there that you can meet face to face. Facebook is not reliable and is not a dating website.

    Many men look for women online to "date" instead of marry and you don't know his intentions. It is best if you look for your husband in person so you can get an impression on how he is. If you keep in contact with him through the internet you might develop strong feelings for him and even if he is completely different in person or you feel he can not be a good husband it will be harder to leave him and get over him.Thank God it is not too late. My advice for you would be to not start any contact with him, it is haraam even if you call him or talk to him online, if you have started having conversations by phone, facebook, yahoo, etc cut off all contact before you develop stronger feelings. Stay away from him, keep yourself productive, and travel to Arab countries and meet men the halal way (with your wali present) and inshAllah you will find someone who will love you, provide for you and take care of you.

    -strawberryfields

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