Islamic marriage advice and family advice

He is angry with me for my behavior

Husband is angry due to wife's behavior

Asalaam aliakum brothers and sisters.

I am lookin for some help in my marriage. We have been together for nearly 4 years. I respect him and do everything he asks within reason. I work full time and look after the house. My problem is he thinks I am a snob

He came home late the other night from having dinner with friends even though he knew I had spent the afternoon cooking for him and one friend  but i didnt say anything. He decided to have some anyway when he came home and ridiculed it. So I said you don't have to eat it if you have already eaten. We can have it tomorrow. He then accused me of being snobby.

The next day our landlord emailed me. I told him and innocently asked why he always emails me and not him. He replied with he doesn't have my email address. I said he could call you. He said maybe it is my English. I said no your English is fine. I left it at that. He then went on to suggest that I thought the landlord finds me attractive and called me an idiot. I said to him i didn't suggest that at all.

I worried about it all night and managed to ruin breakfast. After he left for work I text him to say sorry but now I don't know what to do.

Please help. Thank you


- housewife92

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3 Responses »

  1. Asalaam alaikum,

    Take one deep breath and exhale, another and exhale, just one more and exhale. Lately, we all get riled up for one reason or another, so I think your husband and you are just facing a few blips down the road. This happens in marriage and unfortunately, it took the path of name calling. This is where you have a draw a limit however, but approach your husband with reasonable kindness in addressing the situation.

    Kindly approach him and sit him down. Smile, take his hand in yours' and say something to the effect:

    "You know, I don't like it when we argue. Perhaps I was wrong about dinner, and if you took my response the wrong way, I apologize. The same thing with the landlord. However, I would rather have a male call you than me, because it's Islamically better that way.

    The only thing is that I don't want to be like those couples that develop bad names for each other. I only want us to have sweet names and terms of affection for each other. It hurt me to be called names by you, because you are the man I love. I chose to spend the rest of my life with you and so, I need you to help face the problems of the world by my side, not against me. Please remember to do this for us. I love you."

    Kisses at the end are optional, but highly recommended. 🙂

  2. My sister,

    I feel for you. What Professor X says is very good.

    I only have a couple of things to add that go along the same line.

    In life, when it comes to minor annoyances and small issues, we often give more of a break to people we don't know over people that are close to us. It sounds like your husband is doing this, and you may be doing so, too. Do your best to always give him the benefit of the doubt.

    Also, I recommend that at the end of every day, and more often if necessary, that you and he forgive each other for the little mistakes and annoyances that happened that day. Just as praying to Allah (swt), and asking for His forgiveness and guidance cleans your soul and helps you remain close to Him, the same can be done between you and your Husband. Of course you are both human and incapable of the devine forgiveness we get from Allah (swt), you can try to follow the example of Allah (swt) , and with His help, create a stronger marriage.

    - America Muslim editor

  3. One of the most dangerous ploys of Shaitaan is to sow distrust between a husband and a wife,  so that he may destroy the sacred institution of marriage.

    You both need to resolve this it's not biggy tell him why does he think you snobby etc talk about it don't let it go to the next day that's not good, I'm Married and iv noticed when something isn't sorted there and then or even same day things get worse day by day and the small matter turns big and nasty.

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