Islamic marriage advice and family advice

He is out from jail and wants me back.

mother_newborn_asleep, my baby and me,

Asak. My husband doesn't earn and he is an alcoholic. I have a 2yrs old daughter. My parents wants me to get divorced but I love my husband a lot. I am living separately from my husband since 1 year and have a filed case against him and he was arrested for the same and he was in jail for 3 months.

Now he is out and wants to start all over again with me but now my parents don't trust him as he did not care for me and my daughter for one whole year. Now I don't know what to do.

Please help.

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5 Responses »

  1. As far as i am concerned, my advice to you will come in form of a question as follows. . . What can you say to his behaviour right now?? Do u observe any changes in him?? Or do think he genuinly mean it to start afresh with you?? Do you have the surety that if you get back to him, he will not mistreat you?? What level of surety or guarantee do you have about him so that when you get back to him, he will take care of you and your daughter?... What surety do you have as regard his means of lively hood (earnings)--- is he now financially bouyant enough to take care of you or is he now seriously searching for a job??? What surety or gurantee do you have as regard him treating you with care and love?? Do you think you will happily leave with him without much quarrels and fight, if it happens that you go back to him??. . . . . . . . I want you to take your time and think deeply about these questions. . . . If you come out with positive result about him, i think it will be good for you to give him a 2nd this case, try and convince your parent to also give him a 2nd chance. . . . . . . . . . But if it comes out to be negetive, then you can go for a divorce and Allah will bless you with another man that will love and care for you and your daughter. . . . . . .ALLAH Knows best. . . . . .Mohd

  2. Assalamu alaykum Sister,

    As far as Islam goes, it speaks of forgiving and allowing a with a chance if someone is truly repentant to Allah and sincere.

    Get some good people whose advice he would hear from his side and similar people from your side. Speak to out all your problems/needs/wants along with elders.

    Let him given you assurance and make Allah a surety over whatever he says. If things seem to fall in place, give him a chance, start to live with him again. But take every step with care. Do not mother another kid before you see significant changes in him.

    If you see he is good, treats you well, and as you say you love him a lot, so Insha Allah, Allah will make you both of one mind and make this marriage work out. If it does not, then you may separate by means of a divorce and Allah would provide each of you from His abundance.

    My advice is as above and you may think over the situation for yourself and choose the best.

    Also, make it a habit to recite some part of the Qur'an daily in the house with your husband, along with translation to understand meanings. Allah's Word really works in tough situations and softens hearts and turns men and women to Him, if He wills.

    May Allah bless you with a happy family and a good Islamic life of peace.


    * * *

    Therefor give good tidings (O Muhammad) to my bondmen, who hear advice and follow the best thereof. Such are those whom Allah guideth, and such are men of understanding.- Surah 39, Az Zumar, verse 17-18.

  3. Why would you want an alcoholic husband who doesn't care for your or your daughter? And I assume that he beat you, since you filed a case against him.

    This is not love, sister. It's an unhealthy addiction. It's not good for you or your daughter.

    Divorce the man and move on with your life.

    Wael Editor

    • For general information ......

      Do look " Stockholm syndrome " on internet .

    • I agree with brother Wael. He had his chance and he lost it. Things hardly change for such people unless they undergo therapy and combat their root problem.
      You were in an unhealthy relationship. Don't fall into that trap again.

      -Helping Sister

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