Islamic marriage advice and family advice

He keeps trying to come back

Muslim woman

Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu, recently I have begun to let loose of my haram relationship which was a long distance sort of thing I never actually seen him however my heart fell for his personality traits etc. a few moths ago I decided I didnt want this anymore so I broke it off and went AWOL i.e. i changed my number mainly, things took a turn when the guy whom I was with started to try and search for my where abouts and email through my number which I now have changed.

He has been searching for my old number through Facebook and has tracked down my profile and has tried to get in contact with me, however I have tried to ignore and block him. I just dont know what to do, I pray and ask for genuine forgiveness to Allah (SWT). I just don't want anything to do with him nor do I want to speak to him because I know I will end up giving in and falling into the same haram relationship, I am in such a point in my life where I finally have learnt to dress in order to please Allah alone, worship him full heartedly and seek knowledge to strengthen my imaan. But i feel these little situations are the things that allow me to break and shatter. I'm afraid of what people in my family will think, I dont want this to get out of hand, I feel so hurt as to the fact that I dont want him to be on this type of situation.

I know that many people will say to speak to the guy and explain, but I just dont have the heart to do so I truly cannot i know I will just fall back into the thing that I have tried to stay away from all these months. I really do not know what to do please help.

Jazakallahu Khairan.

Maliha..a

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6 Responses »

  1. Dear Maliha

    All praise is for God who gave you the strength to end this relationship. You fear if you get in touch with him that the relationship will get established again. You are right. There is every chance that this can happen and you will be back to where you started... in an unlawful relationship.

    Do nothing. He will eventually give up trying to get in contact and get on with his life. People are resilient and able to adapt... it's how Allah swt has created us.

    In the meantime get on with your life. Allah gave you the strength to escape this relationship. You owe it to Him and yourself to make the most of life.

    Allah swt bless you.

  2. OP: I just don't want anything to do with him nor do I want to speak to him because I know I will end up giving in and falling into the same haram relationship. I know that many people will say to speak to the guy and explain, but I just dont have the heart to do so I truly cannot i know I will just fall back into the thing that I have tried to stay away from all these months.

    You still have not told him or yourself you want to end it. He still feels he can get you. You still think you will fall back for him. You still are lonely looking for some one. You have changed the way to dress to please "Allah" but you still need "companionship".

    .

  3. Assalaamualaykum Maliha...a,

    You say:

    "I know that many people will say to speak to the guy and explain, but I just dont have the heart to do so..."

    You do not have to explain anything to the guy. He will figure it out. Keep him blocked from your social media and phone to make sure that you are not tempted to read his messages.

    Inshallah you will overcome this situation and enjoy the sunshine again.

    Nor

    • Maliha..a,

      Also, if you feel like it is too difficult to end things without some kind of statement, you could, without reading any of his messages, send him a message stating simply that : "I don't feel comfortable talking to men anymore but wish you all the best," and then block him immediately and not read any replies he sends to this. You would do it simply for your own peace of mind.

      Best,

      Nor

  4. Dear Sister,
    Leave him as he is. He will realize what he has done and hopefully go back to what he was doing. Someone who brings you closer to Allah is better for you, as a muslimah. Find someone of your own, and after some time, your life will be peaceful again inshaallah.

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