Islamic marriage advice and family advice

He promised marriage, but took my virginity and walked away

Depressed girl heartbroken distressed

Assalam 3alaykoum ;

I am a 21 years old Muslim girl. I have to confess that i do not practice islam as i should. I do not wear hijab. I would say i am moderate, i do not drink, smoke, or do other things that are prohibited such as zinaa ect..

However, 2 years ago, i fell in love with a Muslim guy. From the beginning of our relationship he knew I was a virgin and wanted to wait for marriage and he seemed ok with it. Time went by and we got more and more in love with each other... we had a lot of problems in our relationship but our love was always stronger.. He always told me that we will eventually get married or do nikah.

In the second year, we ended up doing zinaa which i hope Allah forgives both of  us for that sin. He was the first man in my life and i was sure we would get married.. I did bleed and he promised that he would marry me. However soon after that, he told me that he wasn't going to marry me...

I was shocked, humiliated, i felt dirty  and like i lost my dignity and pride and everything to this person. not to mention that i had a lot of feelings toward this person. i am ashamed and feel deeply sad as i always wanted to be virgin until my wedding night or at least i would get married to this person that took my virginity. But this person took all that away from me. This person is Muslim and doesn't seem to know that what he did is wrong (of course what we also both did), but he lied to me about getting married.

I do forgive this person next to Allah, but the thing that hurts me the most is that this person didnt apologize, on the contrary started calling me bad words (B....) which makes me feel worse. My question is how can i ask for forgiveness for this sin that i have committed and i wont ever commit again. And is what he did to me is haram or not?

I feel very very sad and depressed and lost. I have thoughts of suicide. Please i need guidance. How would i be aver able to get married to another person now.. for me i was sure i was going to marry that person..

- dounia

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67 Responses »

  1. Bismillah

    My dear sister, there is no sin that Allah subhanhu wa tala DOES not forgive. What you two did is a crime in the law of Islam, but having said that, Allah subhanhu wa tala is MOST MERCIFUL! If He wanted He could have created us without the capacity of free will, where we would not sin. But Allah subhanhu wa tala loves those that turn to Him sincerely in repentance. Which means you greatly regret your mistake and you have no intention of doing it again. Turn to Allah subhanhu wa tala, cry to Him and ask of Him.
    What you have lost is a great thing; but know this, two wrongs do not make a right. Taking your life will not solve your problems. As a Muslim we believe in the life hereafter and that we will be raised and taken to account for our actions. If you take your life because you are in despair then you have forgotten the Mercy of your Lord and you have chosen to spend the rest of eternity committing the same acts of taking your life. Suicide will be replayed over and over in the hell fire; IT IS NOT AN OPTION!
    There is nothing you can do to make the past go away, but there is something you can do to ensure you protect yourself in this world and the hereafter InshaAllah. Again know that Allah subhanhu wa tala Forgives every sin by those who ask and sincerely repent (except those that associate partners to Him). Also, to erase a bad deed you must do a good deed. Learn this ugly lesson in life, and realize that people are not always as truthful as they appear. Any time you do something against Islam you will find yourself in error. Islam is has been perfected, it is a perfect way of life, any time you go beyond those limits set for you, you will be in error. By default, any one that crosses the limits; transgresses limits will be at fault.
    Please make a point of giving sadaqa/charity, helping others, reading the Quran, studying our religion and getting closer to Allah subhanhu wa tala. Use this hurt to make you a better person, don't take hurt to hurt yourself more.
    Man wrongs himself....and so I ask you, everything that happens in life can either be blessing or a burden, the question is, will you learn? If you find a way to get closer to Allah subhanhu wa tala, and use the guilt and humiliation you feel now to humble yourself before Allah subhanhu wa tala then you have indeed made your test a blessing. If you choose to despair, pity yourself and see yourself as a victim then you have only earned two wrongs - two pains. The choice is yours, mistakes only last forever if you don't learn from it.

    May Allah subhanhu wa tala give you the strength to rise above your wrongs and the wrongs of others and may He Guide you to His Pleasure...Ameen.

    Umm Abdullah

    • Thank you so much for your dear response, it really helped me,... but can you please tell me if what he did s haram? as he promised to marry me and took my virginity ?? i will not forgive him next to allah.. 🙁 i heard that allah forgives the sins we have done to ourself or towards him but does not forgive the sins we do to other people unless that human being forgives you. is that true?

      • Yes sex outside marriage is haraam and an act of zina. Also what he said and did was two differant things.

      • Dear sister dounia.

        Please try not to think about the hurtful responses as you can never turn back time. The only way is forward now so look forward my dear sister and know that with every difficulty there is ease. Please dont live in the past. Also it worries me how you are so concerned with how wrong is he etc. "but can you please tell me if what he did s haram?" It is haraam yes he lied to you. But this is not a question you should be asking. This is going to hurt you more and drive you mad. Know that Allah is just.
        It doesnt matter whether you can/cant forgive him
        It doesnt matter who was in the wrong
        It doesnt matter why he did it or how he could be so mean as to do it?

        FOCUS ON YOU. If these thoughts come into your heart, divert them, dont entertain them. Repent sincerely for your mistake, but dont wallow in it. If it comes into your heart say Astaghfirullah and divert it.

        I pray that Allah swt helps you dear sister and protects you.

        Sara Editor

      • Same happens to me .. after 3 years of relation he took my virginity 2 weeks ago and it has been a week he is not replying me .we had a small argument and it was like .. he was just waiting for that .. he said i will not marry you .. say bad words to me and left me .. I am tired of texting him .. no reply .. he is not picking my calls . I still cant believe this has happend .. i still think he will be back soon .he is just angry ..or maybe not .. i am broken .depresed and dont wana live .. but this thing has bought me closer to Allah ..
        but .. the thing is that i love himm so mmuch to let go ..the pain is unbearable .. i wish he come back .. if not .
        Then I dont know ..i am completly broken.
        help me if you can

        • Dont call or text him. Cut him out of your life, change your number etc. I know your hurting in the long run its best if you leave him to it. Repent to Allah he was only after one thing. Guys like this give the good guys a bad name and you will need to be strong and live for yourself. Its good your closer to Allah and you realise that sex before marriage is haraam. Your better than this move on and forget him hes not worthy of your tears or pain. You will have to LET GO because this will cause you more pain than before and for your own health well being this relationship is no good. If you interested in marriage get your family involved and word of advise never ever be with a guy before marriage or even alone.

  2. The number of times that we hear similar stories from so many people should teach the young sisters that RELATIONSHIPS OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE ARE HARAAM.

    This man took advantage of you and you didn't stop him. It happens so often, that said I will say this, it seems you have a good heart and you want to seek forgiveness, this is good, this is the first step. Make sure you keep yourself away FROM ALL MEN, till you are married.

    In fact it should in big letters on the main of this and every Islamic site. "SISTERS DO NOT HAVE THE RELTIONSHIPS OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE." Then there should all such examples of girls crying and being upset shown, so that it gives this message. Decent guys don't have pre-marital relationships, decent guys do not speak to girls abuse them and take their chastity. Decent guys stay away from the females and only are intimate and loving to their wife. So many girls are fooled by vile men, this currently is about 20% of the boys in the west, maybe more. But the girls are not completely blameless, or the ummah and parents, if fathers were stricter on their daughters, ensuring they kept their hijaab, it would make it less likely for such things to happen. These girls also need to show stronger resolve and a stronger desire to avoid such vile men.

    I will also say that I think it would be totally unfair of you to marry a virgin man now, I hope your family and you when you do marry, marry someone who is not a virgin and who has also repented.

    It's just not fair for virgins to end up with non-virgins, (I exclude divorcees and widows from this statement).

    But the final thing I will say is, we all make mistakes, I have, the mods on this forum have, other Muslims have, but we all know that Allah will forgive us of them, if we make an actual effort to ensure that it doesn't happen again.

    Insha'Allah there will be forgiveness and mercy shown on you and Insha'Allah you will end up with a man who can accept you for who you are.

    • Assalam-Alaekum,
      Brother I'll agree to the point,"Decent guys stay away from the females and only are intimate and loving to their wife." And sisters, instead of attributing their flirting behavior to their "Confidence" or "Pleasant personality" should realize that this is a vile behavior by a muslim man. But it never happens, the more a guy is playful around the sisters the more 'pleasant' personality he has :-).

      Anyways, I just want to say brother that parents should never be strict with children and should never ask them strictly to follow something, specially daughters. And parents must not enforce hijab or beard for that matter to their children. Being strict with daughters is what makes them move away from their parents. Which results in them finding comfort in someone else's company. I believe parents should be so loving to the child that they do not need to go to anybody else for 'company' or to 'to talk to' or 'friendship'.

      I think for daughters its really important that they can talk to their father openly. There are many problems in the society which your wife might not have encountered in the society. But if daughter can openly talk to father then she won't hesitate a second to talk about anything which will keep her away from other men to ask for advice.

      In short, strictness will not work.


      • Concerned,

        I have to say, I strongly agree with the point you made about men and their flirtatious behaviour. Alot of young girls get sucked in thinking that its just pleasant and nice behaviour. But its nothing but false charm. Real nice men do not have to 'flirt' to attract a good woman, because their good manners and piety speak up for them.

        SisterZ Senior Editor

      • I second everything you've said about parents not being strict. I am a parent myself and alhamdulillah have experienced and seen much in the years I've livsed to realise how difficult it is to actually make your child do the right thing without physically 'making' them..if you get me there, lol.

        As parents we can be strict and misuse our power but at the end of the day, is that the right approach? Especially in this day and age, where children can easily walk way and do rediculous things like put u behind bars for pressuring them into something?

        John, HOW can we make our children do something right? As others have pointed out, its not correct to automatically assume and direct it to parents. She, the questioner, is an adult now and her parents are not responsible for her is her shortcoming and responsibilty that she does nto wear the hijab, not her parents.

        Having said that, Concerned, you have raised a very important issue and that of being able to communicate with ones parents. It is extremely unfornate (and ever so frustrating) to see that in so many eastern cultures, including that of my people, parents generally dont tend to have a relationship with their children where the children can talk to them about their problems. Yes we should respect our parents and not talk back...that is something good in these cultures...but I think its taking it to extremes and goes beyond respect when you feel you cannot express ur views to someone if u think they may be not too happy to hear it.

        The challenge is being strict enough to keep ur children within their limits yet loving/friendly enough simultaneously for them to feel close enough to you to approach you at all times. And we see extremes with both of them. Some, like eastern cultures, where its all about respect and the west who only focus on being a 'good friend' to your children.
        Indeed it is a very difficult but I think atleast that way, whatever the outcome of ur children and how they turn out, you know you've conducted urself in the best manner and can stand before Allah not being responsible for their behaviour.
        May Allah s.w.t make it easy for us, Ameen.

        Looking back at my own life, much of the mistakes I committed when I was young, like so many other muslimahs, were because I wasnt (and to be honest, still cannot) sit with my father and just tell him of ANY issue i have. And my mum is no help either. Just like the questioner, sister dounia here whos past has now come back to her present, mistakes of the past that I cannot escape and keep coming back to me and will most likely haunt me all throughout my life could have all been avoided had I had a relationship close enough with my parents, especially my father, to be able to express myself.

        Hence, VERY important for parents to provide their children a platform for them to express themselves and build a relationship where they feel they are close enough to you to approach u and feel comfort in you.
        And like concerned pointed out, it is even more important to give this to a daughter than a son (the opposite of which has always been the current trend).

        Was salaamu alaikum

        • Lots of good points raised!

          Parents need to give their children a platform on which to speak to them. Whether a child is 5, 15 or 35 years old, we all need to have an open relationship with our parents, otherwise problems will spread beneath the surface and then explode.

 Senior Editor

    • Iam 22 years old muslim girl.iam frm sindhi family , my parents tie me with a person who is not vargin ..and he himself told me 3 years back ..I tried to convince my parents that I dont want to maary him ..but I dont know how to do this ..he is not repented on his sins ..I have waited for 3 years ..may be Allah sain give him hidayaat but nothing works..what should I supposed to do now ?? He did zina for almost 2 years ..aftr that he got seriously ill he is suffering frm diabat3s diabetes as well ..poor health.
      he stops when he is not able to do these things now . I prayed for him in every namaz ..what should I do ??

      • I strongly suggest you openly mention that he doesn't repent for his sins, because this is more likely for your marriage to end up either in bad depressed or divorce if you cannot love him but if he repent then you may forgive him and accept him,uts up to you and parents can't force you to marry anyone particular even if he is good but can only suggest

  3. I disagree with your statement john fisher in regards for her not to marry a virgin how understanding are you brother and you have no right saying what she should and shouldn’t do. There are loads of men who are not virgins and sleeping around then marry a girl back home who is a virgin so what’s the difference and never repent for what they did to the girl previous to marrying of parents choice, so will you say that’s unfair too?

    Salaams dounia

    Firstly sister you trusted the wrong guy who you told him you were a virgin and that to me shows he was after one thing from you, and secondly he wasn’t a decent guy to stick around you to be honest that’s why he left. I honestly believe this is no fault of yours but allah will forgive you for your mistakes. Whoever you meet you must be honest and inshallah in life you get a second chance. TRUST is a big issue we are facing in this society today but please remember suicide thinking just makes things worse. You have to move forward and think of your future and being a good muslim in which I honestly believe you are already doing by asking forgiveness. What’s done is done you cant switch the time back remember life is through experience what you learn today will be a lesson to other Muslims sisters and brothers that practising our religion as well does matter and its there for a reason. You have to remember what people do and act on are two different things and therefore being caution is also very important. I hope inshallah you can and will become stronger out of this and learn that you never trust a man until you know marriage will be the option

    • Just because loads of men sleep around and marry virgins, doesn't make it right, It's wrong in my book, there is even a verse in the Quran which states the good are for the good and the bad are for the bad, I belive it's in Surah Nisa.

      Just because this girl repents, it doesn't take away the fact she's had sex, now I for one would not want to marry a non-virgin. This girl should be shown mercy, she may well be a victim, but at the same time, she's equally to blame.

      • That’s your choice but to me your making this girl feel even worse you have no right saying she should have mercy. And for your information brother she came on this site for advice and comfort in realising her mistake she is not playing the victim. You should think before you say such harsh comments I really value your opinions but at times brother you are way too. Some people learn from their mistakes and not all know everything until too late in this case unfortunately.

        • Dear Samina,

          thank you so much for your advices.. i was shocked by what john wrote. dear sister i truely respect you for ur kind understanding. i didnt say the whole story behind this. since u seem very understanding let me tell you the whole story behind. I Came to the USA to study. i met this person who turned out the most horible person iv ever met ( although i still love him :(:(
          i know it doesnt make sense but am such a emotional person. i was never the kind of girl who would have sex other than with my husband ( first because its haram second because im not that kind at allllllllllllllllllllllllllllll) i never even dated anyone before even though am 21 years old. i had such a great reputation . i came here to study and i met this person, i was very depressed and severely ill and had many problems. since he was muslim , i thought he could be of a good friend. i never intened to go out with him. we ended up going out but it was a very decent relationship. however this person abused me for a whole year phisically , he would beat the hell out of me , he cheated on me several times and abused me phisically emotionally however i remained with him because i thought he would change and become the person i fell in love with. i stayed with him also because he would tell me he loved me and that it was haram if i letf him bla BLA bla. the abuse was soo bad that i ended up putting charges against him, my familly ( aunt and uncle) found out and they were veryyy pissed as i ended up in a mental hospital . they were chocked and went me to the police and many other agencies. he ended up getting kicked out from school as he was an international student which made me feel bad because that meant he was going to get deported. i felt sorry for his future and turned my words againt my familly and ruined my own future in the us for him ( thats how much i loved him). after that he was still in trouble with the law but i came back to him and helped him and droped charges and even gave an affidavit to his lawyer. when my familly found out they go soooooooooooo mad as we went through alot because of this person and i did came back to him and ruin everything in my life. after he told me to moove from my aunts and uncles house and go rent so we could do nikah, i did as he asked but it was only a way of taking revange from me.thats how he ended up taking my virginity and then threw me like a dog, and went with another girl just to get his papers in front of my eyes, without caring about what all he have done to me. My sTUDIES MY life my familly my future my health my parents veyrhing got messed up ............ i can go on writing about this pages and pages ...! this is just the main idea. so John before starting blaming me u should know the whole story behind this, i never intended to have sex ... ( and believe me i hate it ) .. i pray to allah to forgive me for this sin but im also mad that this all happened to me.. im feeling disgusted from life, from evrything.

          • You can feel disgusted by any and everything sister but remember one thing...the mercy of Allah.

            Remember that this life is a test and sister, even if this is v hard for u to believe right now, there are people out there who have faced situations MUCH worse than yours..yet they still carry on and see the bright future that lay ahead of them.

            Life is what we make out of it...its our faith , views and perception of everything that defines life for us. You may see something and feel suicidal over it yet somebody else may go through the exact same experience or worse and they are content and at peace within and the only thing that happens to them is they become stronger and stronger..and a better human and Muslim.
            So remember that you are a Muslim. This in itself is the biggest gift you are gifted with the most valuable treasure..that is of faith in Allah and the Haqq. Now use it and apply it to your life...and only then you will see the wonders it can do for you inshallah.

            I dont want to post my biography here lol but I believe many of us here posting have faced situations somewhat similar somewhat different to urs but in all cases, all hard and traumatic that hav hit us. We learn to move on inshallah and leave behind those who harm us...know that whatever he did to you, it is SURELY not going to be ignored. Not only in the hereafter but in this world too Allah gives us a taste of what our hands have is his justice. Leave him to Allah, turn your back on him totally and divert all your attention to Allah.
            You have seen what a human being is capable of despite you giving your all to him...Now see what Allah will give you when u give him urself. Thats what a Muslim is at the end of the who submits their will to Allah. 🙂

            Be strong...time will heal the pain. Keep reminding urself, its TEMPORARY. It will pass and what you want in the future, work towards it and ask of Allah. If you want peace and stability and success, then ask of Allah and put all of your life and effort and every breath at His service...Not for any other being.
            Then see the wonders he will do for you inshallah 😉

            Was salaamu alaikum

          • Faith: Maash'Allah, you have written a beautiful reply here.

            Dounia: This man was a tyrant, I say even more strongly now, say Alhumdulillah that he eventually left you. You think you love him, but that is not love. It is nothing but an infatuation you have with a fantasy that you have created in your mind. A fantasy based on a what you wanted him to be, but infact he was not. He did not become a tyrant because of anything you did. He always was that way and those situations just brought out the real him. A real nice man behaves in a dignified manner in all situations, not just when he is getting his own way. Apart from your infatuation, you are hurting because you feel betrayed, you did everything you could to keep this man in your life, you gave up so much for him, but he still played with your feelings. You had all the warning signs, but you fell incredibly weak. But now you have seen how low man can fall (in the way this man played with your feelings), you have a deep insight. You can use this to strengthen yourself, to avoid such situations again, to recognise the warning signs, to leave before you fall, to realise that Allah has given us limits for a reason (i.e. having such a deep friendship with him was not right either).

            Sister Faith has given you some very good advice maash'Allah. Keep reading it over and over and say Alhumdulillah. You are fortunate (he could have married you for his papers and then left you).

            You have your health, your life and you have Allah. So you can start over inshaAllah.

   Senior Editor

          • Salaams dounia
            I am seriously really sorry for the pain and suffering you have had through this vile man. I pray for you that you get through this difficult time knowing you know yourself you made a mistake no one as a right to judge you except allah and I pray inshallah in the near future you find a decent man who will earn your trust, love and respect that you deserve because to me seriously you are asking allah’s forgiveness and for that you deserve happiness and peace within yourself.

          • Beauitfual reply from faith 🙂

          • Dounia,

            I'm sure you are very regretful and you have already seeked repentance, but I have stated the truth. I'm sorry if it has hurt you.

            You say that you never intended to sin, the truth is no one goes about with the intention of sinning.

            You're going about things the wrong way you are trying to defend.justify your actions as the Sisters have mentioned you must totally forget him and start a new leaf. Look to build a strong relationship with Allah, then your parents and in time when you are ready allow your parents or extended family to find you a suitable partner. Why would that be better? Cause that way the man you'll know much better, it will be halal and you'll have the protection of your father as well.

            You say you still love the man who's taken your most prized possession, I don't know what else to say to make you realise how really bad that is. He's used you and you still love him? You're better than that, hold your head up high and move forward and get this vile man out of your head.

            I will finish on one last note, sometimes the brutal advice like that which I've given you, is what will make you realise how to go about life. People can pat you on the back and give you a shoulder to cry on, but until someone helps you understand the magnitude of what has happend, even if it is in a harsh manner, you may not change or realise this. I wish you all the best. I hope you can turn a new leaf over and I hope and pray that all that has happened can be forgotten.

            May Allah Protect You.

        • Assalam o Alaikum
          I agree with sister Samina. Allah is the most merciful and knows everything which is hidden and revealed indeed. We don't know if a person is pure and clean in Allah's eyes no matter how much bad he/she has done in their lives. In Quran it is mentioned about the matchmaking that clean humans get clean mates but there is no mention of virginity. Like other sins Allah forgives this one too. If a person repents, Allah makes him/her clean again so there is nothing wrong if she marries a virgin man if Allah selects a virgin for her.
          As for you sister, never lose hope and believe that your Creator loves you/knows you the most. He will forgive you Inn Sha Allah.

  4. Assalaamu alaikum dear sister.

    I will try not to reiterate the previous excellent advice (MashaAllah) given above, but I wanted to add a few things

    Im sorry to hear all the difficulties you are going through. Please dont consider suicide - this would only cause you eternal pain. I wanted to add that It is unhealthy to dwell on if he was more in the wrong than you. Cheating and deceiving are additional sins yes, but only Allah swt knows the answer to it. You need to focus on YOU! Dont email him, or contact him in anyway. I know you want closure, but trust me dear sister you won't get it if you contacted him a 100 times. Also avoid questioning why he did this etc. You are harming yourself by doing this.

    Know that Allah swt is the MOST Merciful and He loves you so repent to Him and vow to change. As Umm Abdullah said - learn from this mistake. Use it to get closer to Allah and His deen. Sometimes God gives us hardships to bring us closer to Him - like a special invitation. Please take it dear sister.

    Know that the feelings of shock you are experiencing are normal and the pain will fade with time InshaAllah as long as you stay away from him.

    The future

    KEEP ALL CONTACT WITH NON MAHRAMS WITHIN ISLAMIC GUIDELINES FROM NOW ON. Involve parents immediately if you are interested in someone

    I also wanted to add that you can marry again - your life is not over. You are under no obligation to tell a potential husband about this. In fact its best to keep it hidden dear sis.

    RasulAllah (saw) said: “All of my ummah will be fine except for those who commit sin openly. Part of committing sin openly is when a man does something at night and Allah conceals it, but in the morning he says, ‘O So-and-so, last night I did such and such.’ His Lord had covered his sin all night, but in the morning he removed the cover of Allah.” (Bukhari; Muslim)

    If someone directly asks you however, you cannot lie about it. In this situation, its better to indirectly answer.
    Given this, if someone asks one whether one used to do drink, for example, in the �bad old days,� one cannot answer in the affirmative. Rather, one should answer by an indirect answer, like, �Why would any Muslim drink?� Or, �Alhamdulillah, Allah protected me from that,� intending that Allah protected one after one stopped. If such an indirect answer does not come to one�s mind, it would be permitted (or, rather, necessary) to lie and deny this. Avoid marrying a brother that only wants to marry virgins, otherwise he will cause you difficulty. (Reverts are generally more understanding - but do your research (with you mahram present) on any potential spouse)

    Please remember that Allah swt is always there and He loves you. Pray your salat 5x if you dont already. If you do, pray Tahajjud each night. (Even just a few rakah before fajr if you find it difficult) Also make dua, and Qur'an especially in the last 3rd of the night (before fajr).

    I pray that Allah swt eases your pain, forgives you and gives you happiness in this life and the next!
    Will make dua for you InshaAllah
    Sara Editor

  5. Asalamu alekum, My dear sister dont worry every thing will be fine. I can understand how you are feeling. As you want to seek forgiveness then do pray salatul tauba which is of two rakah's. And ask forgiveness from ALLAH when ever you feel guilty pray and ask forgiveness I will surely pray for you my dear sister. Please take care of your self.

  6. John Fisher,

    How can you say, the parents, especially fathers need to be strict with their daughters and force them to wear hijabs, will keep them chastity. I have known many people who come from a very good family or strict family, and still go in the wrong directions of their life. You cannot blame parents all the time. I do feel that it's their duty to teach their kids about Islam.

    Your making this poor girl feel as if she is a bad person now. Quran does say that- the good are for the good and the bad are for the bad. Just because she did a sin, doesn't make her a bad person. She is repenting so much and asking Allah to forgive her. You have no right to say who she should marry.

    • By wearing the hijaab, a sister is less likely to generate interest amongst young males. By wearing hijaab it gives the sister the sense that he body is a treasure that only her husband will get to see and touch.

      I'm not saying this sister is a bad person, I'm saying she did a bad thing and once she's repented, she should look for someone in the same boat, a brother who has sinned and repented.

      We've seen in numerous threads on this site, the number of Muslim brothers who will never be able to get over the fact that their wife was touched by a man before marriage. It's one of the reasons why this sister has asked this question on here, she's not worried about losing the man who took her virginity, she's concerned about whether her future husband will accept her. I can only say that the best option and to ensure that it is a long and happy marriage, is to go with someone of a similar background.

      I will also say this, the Sister has mentioned right at the start of her post, she does not wear a hijaab. What does this indicate? If she wore a hijaab she would be far less likely to have attracted the attention of a man and far less likely to be in this position.

      Let us Pray that more and more Muslim Sisters practise wearing the Hijaab, and that more and more Muslim Brothers can fight off the shaytaan and their desires.

      • John Fisher,

        So how does a muslimah who has lost her virginity and repented go seeking a spouse who has also lost his virginity and repented? Also bearing in mind that every Muslim has an obligation to conceal his/her sins.

        Wael, do you have a section for non virgin muslim women seeking non virgin men for marriage? Hmm, perhaps you should add one.

        SisterZ Senior Editor

        • Wael, I was referring to your matrimonial website

        • I understand your point, it's a valid one, how do you go about finding a spouse if you have committed zina?

          Well I'll throw a question right back at you, is it fair for a man/woman who have remained chaste their entire life, in the hope that they marry someone who is also chaste, to actually end up marrying someone who could not control themselves, has committed zina and the repented?

          I know we should cover each other's sins, but I really don't see the justice in a person remaining chaste in the hope someone they marry will also be chaste to actually end up with someone who's done zina before. Where is the justice?

          Yes her repentance will wipe away her sins and Allah will forgive her and she will no longer be a bad person, but it doesn't take away the fact that she's been touched by another man. This is what bother 90% of Muslim men, I know because I am one.

          I wouldn't blame any person if they divorced someone they found out was not a virgin after marriage, in fact a part of me says those who've committed zina, irrespective of whether they've repented or not, get what they deserve.

          I know this is slightly off topic, but I really hurt when I read how so many young Muslims are giving away their most valuable asset so easily.

          • John Fisher,

            You are stating your honest preference and that is great, but not all men or women think like you. If her future husband asks her, she should honestly tell him about her previous experiences - but she is under no obligation to do so unless he asks. Similarly, he does not have to disclose anything he doesn't want to (in terms of past repented sins) unless she asks him. It is unfair to go about saying things like "non-virgins should only marry other non-virgins" because not everyone thinks the same way as you. People make mistakes and they honestly repent for them, there is no reason for any human to punish another human for his or her past mistakes, Allah swt will be taking care of that as is. I find your tone to be highly offensive.

            At the end of the day, when two people are about to get married, they can decide for themselves what they would like. There is no reason to scare this sister about how no "pure" man would ever want her because quite frankly, you don't know that. There are many people in the world that understand how a person can change (in levels of Iman and otherwise) throughout the course of his or her life.

            It hurts me also to read/hear stories such as this one because the whole situation could have been avoided. I don't agree with you in that hijaab is a definite predictor of women staying chaste/being protected (I am a hijabi btw), it is more so their attitude and modesty in personality than just their outward covering that helps in keeping one chaste. It is more about the inner hijaab coupled with self control and discipline.

          • John, I understand the hurt, its sad that so may of our Muslims are falling prey to this evil. But you know what, we are human and part of being human means we are prone to sin. Some are stronger, some are weaker. The point is that we all learn from our mistakes.

            I don't know the answer to your questioñ because I don't see how you can determine whether your future wife is virgin or not without exposing her sin to her family or by making her expose her sin to you.

            As muslims, we know that Allah has said that He will forgive the most henious crime if we seek sincere forgiveness. We also know that Allah tells us to conceal our sins. He does not say though that a non virgin must not marry a virgin. There are also many other terrible crimes on the list of 70. If a woman has taken part in a serious bank robbery and then paid for her crime, repented and turned a completely new and better leaf, is she also ticked off the list.

            John, please do not think that I am undermining the importance of both male and emales maintaining their virginity, it is very very important. But, when we look at the bigger picture, we are just human beings striving to come to closer to Allah, He is our goal. So whether you end up with a virgin wife or not should really not deter you from your path. Everyone makes mistakes, be it this mistake or something else, surely we need to rise above, look forward and try to help each other move towards Allah.

            Of course your wish for a virgin wife is your right - completely and because it is so importnant to you, I would suggest you spell it out as a requirement (regardless of how blunt it sounds), so that potentials are aware and can keep away.

   Senior Editor

          • There is a difference between chaste and virgin.

            Virgin refers to someone who does not commit any immoral or illegal sexual acts before marriage.

            For example, if someone has a boy friend/girl friend relationship, and they do not commit zina, the boy or the girl may remain virgin, but not chaste anymore.

            To remain chaste, you not only stay away from immoral sexual act, but you also keep your eyes, your limbs, and your heart free from all sorts of fahshaa.

            Considering that pornography is so prevalent in our time, I challenge you: how many Muslim men can you find me who are actually chaste?

            And when our sisters commit sins, they do not commit it alone, Some other Muslim brother does it too.

            What I believe is: I get what I deserve. It is Allah who decides what I get. If I am a chaste, if I am person who have truly guarded his private parts and eyes from fahshaa, if I am really that pure, then probably Allah will bless me with a spouse who is pure like me. Because Allah Himself said that pure men are for pure women and vice-versa. However, if I do not get such a pure woman, then I have no one to blame but blame myself only, because trial befalls upon human beings only because of their own short comings and disobedience towards Allah. I may be a pure man, but I have failed in some other aspects.

            And last but not least, we do not know if a virgin/ chaste Muslimah is better than a Muslimah who have committed a sin and then turned to Allah and repented. Only Allah knows what is better for me.

            So, advice to Muslim brothers: first and foremost, let us control what is in our hands. That is lower your gaze, worship Allah, and become a good Muslim first. When it comes to marriage, do your best research, make a lot of dua to Allah, make istikhara, and then finally leave the matter with Allah. If you get a virgin/chaste wife, Alhamduillah. If you do not get such a wife, but a Muslimah who have actually truly repented, and you somehow discover her sin, resort to patience. She is your wife, and above all, she is your sister, isn't she? If today you hide her sin, and become compassionate towards her, then Allah will hide your sin and become compassionate towards you on the Day of the Judgement.

          • Beautiful response stranger MashaAllah

          • As salamu alaykum Mr. Fisher,

            It is always nice to know about you. Your opinion is very personal and it is related to your choices in life, as always I respect that, what scape from my understanding is how you get to know about the future of others.

            You are single and want to get married, you haven´t alloud yourself to fall in love because you have your ideas well stablished and you know you wouldn´t choose a woman from your surroundings to marry, then you don´t to pay attention to them, know exactly what you want and you are focused to that, you have the love and support of your family, you will get it, insha´Allah.

            But not everybody has been educated as you have, not everybody is conscious that can make other choices than the one they already have done, not everybody feels support or love from the family (I am not saying this is the case) I just want to make the point that every person has their own background, then what I would do, is to avoid being judgamental about others life or sentence their future, we don´t know what is waiting for us, only Allah(swt) knows. And again, you don´t know if the man that is waiting for her is chast and will love her with past included, only Allah(swt) knows.

            You are not the voice of all chast man,.. yes there was other man like you in this site, but not all the man are like you, Alhamdulillah.

            Dounia is not a bad woman, her fault is that she fell in love and trusted an undesirable man, Alhamdulillah, he is gone and she will return to the Straight Path with this experiencie making her stronger than before, insha´Allah. She will heal herself coming back to the Straight Path and creating the Life she deserves, insha´Allah.

            Thank you very much for sharing to all of you.

            All my Unconditional Respect,


          • i didnt give it so easily ,.. u dont know what ur saying ... u are being Rude.. thats all i can say..!

        • No I don't, and I think that would be rather strange. An entire matchmaking service based on people confessing to committing zinaa?

          But I have thought about creating a matrimonial website specifically for divorced or widowed Muslims.


          • Wael, I do hope you know I was not seriously suggesting you add a section for zina etc. That would be quite absurd.


          • Sorry. I did think you meant that. Sort of a leper colony matrimonial service for people who are no longer pure, ha ha.


          • Dude man, I can't believe you thought I was being serious, tut tut! Crazy you (lol).

   Senior Editor

      • I also disagree with the hijaab. I do not wear one and I do practice reading 5 times namaz at work and home. I have never attracted the wrong attention nor I have ever done bad things or even looked at guys I always lower my graze. May I also point out just because a woman wears a hijaab don’t mean that girl is better than the ones who don’t wear one, its ones choice how and what reason they use the hijabb. In my personal opinion hajaab symbolises the purity of a woman and sometimes that can be a threat to some people and also some women don’t want to use that has an advantage of being something there not, therefore wearing a scarf needs to comes through inside and out within time not forced through family. In my experience girls who are decent or not they are unfortunately as time is going on being less appreciated and valued as women that is the world we are actually living in which I believe is very sad.

        • u disagree with hijaab .... the prophet peace be upon him said he who follows a nation is from amongst them.... O Nabi, tell your wives and daughters and other Momineen women that when they go out, they should wear their cloaks over their clothes so as not to display their adornment 33:59 surah al ahzaab pls ppl correct me if i am wrong abt that ayaat. ok back to you so ALLAH says that and u say u dis agree so like on the day of qiyaamah if Allah asks u u gonna like say i disagree with that so do you think your "disagreement" will protect you from getting your rightful punishment?"Shaitân (Satan) wants only to excite enmity and hatred between you with intoxicants (alcoholic drinks) and gambling, and hinder you from the remembrance of Allâh and from As-Salât (the prayer). So, will you not then abstain?" Quran 5:91. So now some ppl say the disagree with that they feel there is nothing wrong with drinking alcohol.... so does that make alcohol halaal? no! they will get their rightful punishment someday... Verse 3 surah almunafiqun - That is because they believed, then they rejected Faith: So a seal was set on their hearts: therefore they understand not. u c your not agreeing with hijaab but islam does and muslims do so uhmmm i dont know what you are probly from the sect of ppl who follow their own opinions and so called choices i dont know how that is going to help them in the hearafter anyway....

          • Well I don’t know what you are or who you are. I know I don’t need to justify myself to YOU or to anyone else only allah knows best for me.

      • You dont know me jhon, u dont know my story and i am sorry to say that u have no right to say what u are saying...!!!!! read the post i posted before.. maybe then ull understand me better

      • Not true. I was in full hijab black from top to bottom and that didn’t stop my ex-fiancé from sexually assaulting me in a public place.

  7. As salamu alaykum dounia,

    You deserve to live, to marry and to have children, insha´Allah.

    To get out of this duel completely, you need to think about one thing more, did he use protection to have sex with you? if not, because you don´t know exactly who he is or what he has been doing, you should go to a doctor to be tested for sexual transmited diseases. Don´t get scared please, they will respect your right to privacy, but this is what to do for your best now and thinking about your future. To end this chapter in your life you need to know that you are healthy physically and from that point on, live as the muslimah you are, insha´Allah. Nobody has the right to steal your joy of living, you deserve to live a full life, to be loved and to love, insha´Allah.

    Please, end this chapter doing your best (repent, pray, eat well, exercise, ...), learn what you have to learn, put yourself in Allah´s Hands and move forward. You can do it, insha´Allah.

    All my Unconditional Love, Respect and Support,

    María Editor

  8. Salaam.

    John Fisher,
    I understand where you are coming from, and how difficult it can be to remain chaste. I am a sister,and I also held a similar view to you for a long time. I used to think 'I have the right to a virgin, he must be one otherwise I'll divorce.' Of course I would prefer one. But there are so much more important things to consider. Unfortunately its unrealistic, and who are we to judge others? Allah swt washes away the sins of those who repent. It shouldnt be so black and white like that. Also its not practical as its not an easy question to ask now is it? I think people should be more accepting in general. I have heard of too many stories of men divorcing their wives because they didnt bleed, which is totally unfair! Not every virgin will.

    I also wanted to add that ok 90% of men want virgins etc or are bothered if they know about someones past. But how many of those 90% have actually committed zina before they marry. Especially in this day and age. I am not condoning it in any way. Its a big sin. Period. Another fact is, it bothers us sisters A LOT as well, so it is not so one sided. I dont think its fair to say to the sister she can only marry this sort of man etc. And Allah knows best. I am not referring to you here, but I have heard this in a lecture. 'It may be that a person who has committed a (big) sin and repented and amended their ways is better than a person who hasnt committed the sin'. They may be more understanding and Allah knows best. I think the talk was called 'he who has no one has Allah"

    Sister Dounia
    Dear sister, make tawbah and amend your ways and dont despair of Allah swt mercy. For now focus on this and InshaAllah you will find the best spouse at the best time

    A few things I wanted to ask though is what about STI screening in a potential spouse? As contraception in marriage is not really feasible? and you cant really ask. I apologise for bringing this up on the board, but I have always wanted to know!

  9. Assalamu alaykum

    Wooo so many replies.

    Here's a video titled "I did zina (fornication) I'm so ashamed", I seriously recommend it.

    Also you might want to read quran 24:... well the whole chapter if allah gives you literacy to read it.

  10. well said maria.....

  11. Salaams Sister

    You were in a very awkward situation. You cannot blame yourself for what has happened. You trusted the guy and he took advanatge of you-he lied to you. This isn't your fault but you would have to repent for the sin that was commited.

    You should forgive him. You would want ALLAH to forgive you. But please don't put yourself in this situation again. You should concentrate on your studies and making your life better. Insha-ALLAH you would find the right person in time, a person that would be understanding and loving. You don't have to disclose your history with him. People do make mistakes. They still get married.


  12. Does Islam advocate redemption if the sinner is forgiven by the wronged person?

    • Saba, you just asked this question on another post. As I said, yes, to some degree. The best thing to do is to repent to Allah, and to ask forgiveness in this life from those one has wronged.

      Wael Editor

  13. I AGREE WITH JHON FISHER ive experianced it in my own life .... i did bad stuff i repented but still i have got what i deserve .... alhmdlh i make alot of shukr i was a virgin and so was my husband Allah knows best how it would torture me if he wasnt a virgin subhanallah it wud b endless deprssion for me as a muslim girl who kept myself chaste and at the end to marry a guy who had not been chaste it wud ruin my reputation as a human even if nobody knew abt it it wud distroy my honour as a muslim alhmdlh shukr wow i feel like saying it a million times its such a relief to knw my husband was a virgin .... and dont say i wudnt knw if he was a virgin for sure coz u cant c wen a man was or is a virgin point of correction u can c if a man is or isnt a virgin physically so i knw he was alhmdlh shukr

  14. and u know wat dounia u keep saying what the guy did was wrong what about what you did huh u cant just say u repented and now think u have the right to blame the guy alone u know guys invited me to have sex with them even guys i wanted to marry but i refused u know why? there is something like taqwa something more stronger then any love besides Allahs love believe islam faith which lives in my blood i couldnt and wont commit zina y? coz im a muslim because my lord has made it forbidden there wer times wer i felt like giving myself to those guys but this islam this faith in me was just so more strong i just couldnt and now alhmdlh im married and can do it in a halaal way and it feels good doing things the halaal way u knw.... and i thank Allah for making me a muslim coz if i didnt have that taqwa i wud commit zina and wud get married and feel guilty my whole life coz my husband wud be the 10th guy i have sex wit in my life but alhmdlh he is the first due to islam alhmlh shukr wat a relief gosh Allah is great really

    • Salaams haniyyya
      Your comments are really not going to help this sister in concern. You are not perfect yourself you have also committed zina through the eyes of looking at these guys. You stated in your reply you would have committed zina if in fact you wasn’t strong enough you are very lucky you didn’t because allah saved you and you found your way. No one is perfect also remember not every human knows everything some are lucky and others are unfortunate. Somewhere down the line someone gets fooled by others making false promises and work there way in and takes advantage, some people are naïve and others just keep making the same mistakes over and over without the care in the world. Yes this sister has made a mistake but you have no right to make her feel any worse than she does this wont help her situation, you don’t know what it must be like for her in her shoes let alone for herself, only allah knows she’s sorry and repented not you or anyone else. Just because you got married and found a guy who was decent that don’t mean everything else will fall in your place and you live happily after, use your words wisely towards people allah knows and sees everything even the persons heart inside and out. Only allah as the right to judge people who do wrong and people to repent for there mistakes, good human beings fear allah at all times. I wish this sister all the best for the future and she gets through this terrible time and don’t find further hurtful comments to make her feel bad.

      • yes sister nobody is perfect and non of our comments can help her.... she can only help herself....just like you disagreeing with hijaab the the All mighty Allah says we must cover ourselves even the prophet peace b upon him says so.... yet you disagree so what comment will help you? non obviously because you belive what you do is correct..... you know we all sinful but atleast most of us know what the diffrence between right and wrong is we might steal but we know that its wrong you know some ppl steal and say its right and says dont judge me i know what im doing and Allah knows best well thats just plain arrogance your fooling nobody but yourself you know what we can talk about this if thats if we meet. in jannah then tell me as you like

        • If you read my post carefully my original reply was to john fishers comments to this sister who went on the wrong path because she did not cover herself and was lead to the wrong crowd. I put this comments onto my own experience just because I don’t wear one that don’t mean it applies to me not everyone women is easy lead there are decent women who still wear modest clothes and don’t wear hijabbis, they don’t need one to prove themselves in eyes of allah. People need to stop saying ridiculous things and labelling every Muslims is the same and should live like this or that. There are and still majority of us who still hold values, respects izaat ect and not use that to shows others why should we what’s that going to gain other than not being true to yourself. Every human as feelings no one as a right to make others feel outcaste just because they don’t think like you only allah see and rightly so the day is the judgement day for every person out there who didn’t make change when they had a chance to take it therefore fear we must have in order to stay on the right path.
          PS I don’t need to tell you, you already have.

          • I don’t disagree with wearing a hijab ulhumdiallah I love it because it shows a women’s purity and symbolises her. One’s who wear one is there choice and I don’t that don’t mean I am any less of a person that you as I stated in my post I do read namaz, quaran, have a strong input of life due to my experience with the job I do but that don’t mean I can sit here and brag how better I am than anyone else, there may be faults I have that I have not be able to complete myself yet and only allah knows what those might be or whats been written for the near future all I can do has a woman is believe what I have been thought and also be strong (sabr). Ulhumdillah I have never ever done sinful things or ever will has life has thought me so much is not to have the same thinking as everyone else as those people who do think differently to you are the ones always make mistakes or have something to hide . My list can go on and on of how successful I have become but I am not going to do as I don’t believe this is the topic my statement is not everything meets the eye everyone makes mistakes but no one should be made worse to feel as another deserves a second chance.

          • Assalamualaikum everybody,

            I had a relationship with a man outside my country and culture for 3 years. We were work colleagues. He is a bangladeshi, I am a malaysian. We had a very close relationship until eventually we slept together at my house many times.

            We kept our relationship secret until my parents and family members comes to know about our relationship and he promised to my family he will marry me and stay with me.

            Few months back he returned to his country for holiday and promised that he will be back here in a few months after meeting his family members. He asked my help to book flight ticket and he borrowed my money of approx.13 thousand MYR. He bought gold jewelleries and iPhone for his brother using that money. Long story short, I've lent him money a lot of times because of his financial condition and because his family have problem to make ends meet.

            However after he went back to his country for leave of few months, he suddenly married another woman and only told me about it 1 week after his marriage. It's been just few months past his marriage and I'm severely heartbroken and hopeless almost everyday from waking up until sleep.

            I contacted and asked him why he did this to me, but he said he never liked me in the first place and that his parents never wanted him to marry any girl outside their culture. He cursed me and lashed out at me because he felt that I'm ruining his marriage and disturbing his relatinship with his newly wed wife.
            He had forgotten me so easily and now living with his wife happily.

            I wonder how he is happy and I am living a miserable life right now. He told me to forget everything in the past and just think of them as bad dreams. I mean how easily one can forget those significant and painful moments??
            Is this punishment for me from Allah? Am the bad guy here?
            Please help me and give me guidance to overcome this heartbreak. Sometimes I even confuse myself whether I am the bad person who misleaded his life.

        • Quran 3:159 translation:
          And by the Mercy of Allah, you dealt with them gently. And had you been severe and harsh­hearted, they would have broken away from about you; so pass over (their faults), and ask (Allah's) Forgiveness for them; and consult them in the affairs. Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him).

          Quran 52 translation
          17 Indeed, the righteous will be in gardens and pleasure,
          18 Enjoying what their Lord has given them, and their Lord protected them from the punishment of burning fire
          19 [They will be told], "Eat and drink in satisfaction for what you used to do."
          20 They will be reclining on thrones lined up, and We will marry them to fair companions with wide eyes.
          21 And those who believed and whose descendants followed them in faith - We will join with them their descendants, and We will not deprive them of anything of their deeds. Every person, for what he earned, is retained.
          22 And We will provide them with fruit and meat from whatever they desire.
          23 They will exchange with one another a cup wherein [results] no ill speech or act of sin.

  15. Salam sister,
    first and foremost I can feel your pain because I am also going through what you're experiencing. It's extremly sad but the bitter reality is that what has happened cannot be changed. There hasn't been a day where I dont feel pain and regret for what has happened to me. I am still very dwelled in the revenge phase but I am trying my best to get past through it. MashAllah, I am really proud of you that you have enough strength to forgive this person next to Allah, that's something I probably will never be able to do my whole life. Sister, I may sound hypocrtical saying this to you as I know how hard this is, but we HAVE to move on. These selfish "humans" didn't even take into regard once what damage they have done to our lives so why are we crying for them? Maybe, it's not for them but rather the loss we experience due to them. But sister, always remember (and this is what makes me strong), things could have been worse. What if you got pregnant? What if he left you then and you would then have to face the whole world and expose your sin. That is something that would have been far worse than this. And sister, hypothetically, let's assume he even married you, whose to say he would have kept you happy. Many of these men who "claim" to love and cherish us and take our virginity often taunt us later on because they no longer trust us thinking, "Well if she can loose it to me, how is she an honourable woman?". They forget their actions behind the consequence. I am giving you real life scenarios here. I have heard and read in many places how many women cry and want divorce after marriage from that very person whom they thought they couldnt live without. Let's be thankful to Allah for things could have been far worse. Alhumdulillah, these evil people did not impregnate us and then dumped us. We can still repent and move on and LEARN to NEVER repeat this mistake again. If these guys can live happily without us, why cant we? Are they really worth so much? I think you already know the answer to that sister.

    Stay strong and remember Allah is the only one who will never abandon us, this whole world can but Allah...never! Always love him and follow his command, because through experience I can say that the more you run after this world and its people, the further they'll run away from you.

    Stay strong and my duaas are with you!

  16. Unless it's the case of rape you always have the choice. So becareful to not take blame off yourself entirely. No one just takes (unless it's rape), you give it, in the hopes of having a long lasting relationship. This is why Islam sets guidelines, and the nature of humans are understood perfectly in Islam. When people want something that badly, they do it even by being dishonest. Sometimes we lack the ability to see this because of our own weaknesses, which is why if we just follow Islam and it's guidelines, in the long run we'll be protected from a lot of unncessary fitna/trials. Insha'Allah!

    May Allah subhanhu wa tala guide us to His Pleasure, forgive us for our sins, and help us in becoming stronger believers...Ameen

    Umm Abdullah Editor

  17. Hi,

    You will love this answer to your question. Here's it. Please watch it. I RECOMMEND IT. This is the best answer for all who

    By the way this show / talk is by brother Nouman Ali Khan.

    I'm so ashamed...What shall I do?

    Modesty: The Missing Element by Nouman Ali Khan

    Make dua for a good match for me!

  18. Dounia , Hope you are doing Good no matter what had happened or from what you are going through. The best thing a person gets in her life is the 'Realisation' , it is this realisation that is capable of changing everything around you even if it is something that is as lethal as death , what else can be more lethal than such kind of death in which your creator is not happy of what you did in your life.

    Life is not about what you did , Life is about what you are doing at the moment and your todays action , your todays thought is powerful enough to overcome what you think you did wrong in the time that's not with you. It is just like molding your path to a place where you can find peace of your mind and soul.

    Peace of Mind and Soul is gettable when you interact with the world that is unseen , and that unseen world is the place from where your faith begins.So you got that realisation , you got the power of "NOW" , you are a seeker of Peace of mind and soul as well, the only thing you need to develop in yourself is the eager to move on the path that you think can ease your way. And to develop this eager you have to REMOVE all feelings of guilt.

    It's not about what you have done , more than that it is about what you can do to mend it ,and you have guts to do so...

    Thanks and regards


  19. salams sister,
    I can understand your feelings about your past. Remember that God forgives if we sincerely repent and do not continue the sin. Have faith in God and ask for a pious man. Be honest in your marriage proposals. If a man rejects your marriage proposal after knowing your past, leave it... no problem. He doesnt deserve you. Pray to God and ask for the right man. You will definitely get one at the proper time.

    Verse 2:177 of Quran defining righteousness
    concludes with, "These are
    the truthful; these are the righteous." Thus, the
    righteous are
    defined as being honest and truthful (2:177,
    3:17, 4:58, 9:119, etc.).
    They are saved by their truthfulness (Quran

    [Quran 5:119] GOD will proclaim, "This is a day
    when the truthful will
    be saved by their truthfulness." They have
    deserved gardens with
    flowing streams. They abide therein forever.
    GOD is pleased with them,
    and they are pleased with Him. This is the
    greatest triumph.

    It is possible to slip up. Sometimes at work we
    are surrounded by
    white lies. We have to fight the temptation to
    let them become part of
    our day. It pays to remember that we will be
    held accountable by God
    for our words. And that God is displeased if we
    are anything less than

    It is important to remember that God
    is closest to us,
    watching us. God's angels are recording
    everything we do (Quran

    [Quran 50:16] We created the human, and we
    know what he whispers to
    himself. We are closer to him than his jugular

    [50:17] Two recording (angels), at right and at
    left, are constantly

    [Quran 33:70-71] O you who believe, reverence
    GOD and utter only the
    correct utterances. He will then fix your works,
    and forgive your
    sins. Those who obey GOD and His messenger
    have triumphed a great

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