He will get engaged to her but he won’t leave me.
Common lies that people tell
good day,
I met this Pakistani guy thru the internet. He is a muslim a lawyer. His parents lives in Germany and he was assigned here in UAE. When we met, he told me he had a muslim girlfriend for 9 years. He thought she was the right girl, but all that changed when the parents of that girl chose another guy to marry her and now she has one child.
He told to his parents that he will let them to choose a girl for him to marry. Now it's not clear for me because he brought me an english Quran translation, and he is telling me he likes me so now I'm learning ISLAM. I am a mother of two and a widow, and living a simple life. I don't have titles, and I'm not a college graduate. We have already talked about this engagement regarding who is the one his parents will choose, and he keeps telling me he will get engaged to that girl but he will not leave me. Is there a such thing like this? Do I have to continue this relationship???? Please send me your advice as soon as possible.
thank you.....
-lyreihs
9 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
He had a girl friend. Now he is using you and will continue using you after he gets married to another girl thru arranged marriage. Not that bad guy, he gave you a copy of Koran.
hi, to answer what you asked, there a such thing like this? no such thing Do I have to continue this relationship???? its best to break away, cos at the end most likely you gonna be hurt.
if he truly loves you, why doesn't he marry you? seems like a coward. don't let men easily tag you along to their petty mind games.
can you imagine you dating someone, who is looking to get married with another woman? please don't be a victim..
its cool that you learning Islam, but if he ask you to revert because of him don't. this is something you do solely for your creator and no one else..
peace..
ASSALAMALAIKUM-
DEAR INNOCENT -lyreihs
PLS NOTE THIS PERSONS VERSION IS THAT HE HAD AFFAIR FOR NINE YEARS OK
THEN HE SAYS SHE BROKE[He thought she was the right girl, but all that changed when the parents of that girl chose another guy]WHO KNOWS THE TRUTH ON THE FACE VALUE OF THIS 9 YEARS IT SHOWS HE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT IS HARAM AND WHAT IS HALAL IN ISLAM-What is the Spreading of Indecency?IT IS THE INTERMINGLING OF SEXES OUT OF MARRIAGE-Those Unaware Of The Influence Of Satan: Societies Of The Ignorant-Societies founded on ignorance of the true faith do not recognize the power of Satan nor his influence over them. According to them, Satan is merely a symbol of evil, with no actual consequence for their day to day lives....The Holy Quran says: And follow not that of which you have not the knowledge....An open offence is greater than a secret sin......
"He indeed is successful who purifies himself (in mind and body), and remembers the name of his Lord, then prays." (87:14-15)
NOW AFTER ALL THE 9 YEARS GAME OF HIDE AND SEEK HE SEEKS ANOTHER VICTIM-GIVING QURAN IS NOT ISLAMIC IT IS TO IMPRESS OR MAY BE HE WANTED YOU TO KNOW MORE ABOUT QURAN-BUT WE CANNOT JUDGE BY HIS OLD CASE THAT HE IS SINCERE AS MR AHMED SAID-[can you imagine you dating someone, who is looking to get married with another woman? please don't be a victim.]
PLEASE DONT GET INCLINED TOWARDS HIM HE IS ONE TRICKSTER WHO MIGHT BE PLANNING TO HAVE WIFE AND ALSO DATING WHICH IS TOTALLY HARAM IN ISLAM-
TURN TOWARDS ALLAH TRUST IN HIM AND WAIT IF ANYTHING IS WRITTEN TO HAPPEN IN YR LIFE ALLAH WILL SET RIGHT AND BRING FORWARD THE SAME FOR YOU BUT PLS DONT PLAN BY YOURSELF AS THIS WILL LEAD TO PEOPLE LIKE THESE AND YOU CANNOT JUDGE THEM PARTICULARLY PAKSTANIS BASED GUYS.
WITH KIND CONSENT OF THIS FORUM PEOPLE PLS LIKE MAY BE YOU WILL INTERACT WITH OTHER LADIES AND GET SOME PROPOSAL OR COURAGE I KNOW THE LIFE OF A WIDOW IS A LONELY LIFE-
BUT AT ANY COST PLEASE DISCONNECT IMMIDIATELY-FROM THIS PERSON HE WILL TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE AND LEAVE YOU ALLAH FORBID WITH A 3RD CHILD AND TURN TO ANOTHER WOMAN AND SAY HE WAS THINKING YOU TO BE LIKE[He thought she was the right girl, but all that changed when the parents of that girl chose another guy]HE CHANGED OR THEY CHANGED ALLAH KNOWS THE TRUTH-
SO BE ONE TO TRUST ALLAH AND BE OBEDIENT TO HIM BY AVOIDING THIS PRE-MARITAL RELATIONSHIP AND THAT ALSO WITH A MASTER OF ALL TRADES WHO RELIEVES AFTER 9 YEARS THINKING THAT THE GIRL CHILD IS THING TO PLAY WITH REMEMBER ONE WHO DISOBEYS ALLAH AND PLAYS THE GAME OF PRE-MARITAL RELATIONSHIP APART FROM MARRIAGE IS NOT A RELIGIOUS MAN BUT A VAGABOND-
HOPE THIS ADVICE WILL GIVE YOU RIGHT DIRECTION TOWARDS ALLAH AND HIS DEEN-
REGARDS
ALI YOUSUFF-
"YOU CANNOT JUDGE THEM PARTICULARLY PAKSTANIS BASED GUYS".......What do you mean by this,pls elaborate.
Assalaamualaikam
Let me start by saying that you do not have to continue a relationship with this man; nobody can force you to be with him, and as a mother you need to prioritise your children's wellbeing.
The lifestyle this man is living seems quite far from the teachings of Islam, when it comes to relationships. For example, Islam doesn't consider dating to be acceptable - if someone likes a person and thinks they might want to marry them, the two people can get to know each other through discussions in the presence of another person (no "alone time" or cohabiting) and then make a decision about marriage.
If this man is serious about a relationship with you, he should be working to make it halal. A Muslim man can marry a woman who practises Islam, Christianity or Judaism (the People of the Book), so if you follow one of these faiths, it is entirely acceptable Islamically for him to marry you. He doesn't need the permission of his parents to do so (although clearly it would be preferable for them to be supportive). The fact that he has had a 9 year relationship without marrying her rings a few alarm bells - why didn't he marry her during those 9 years, and did he care that he was disregarding Islamic values?
I honestly wouldn't advise being his secret girlfriend while he looks for someone else. You deserve a man who will value you and treat you with respect. Please don't think that this man's behaviour is typical of Muslim men - a practising Muslim man will strive to live his life by Islamic values.
It's great that you're learning about Islam - Alhamdulillah. If you wish to learn more, try to find an Islamic study class nearby where you can meet other women who are either Muslim or are learning about Islam like you are.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
ASSALAMALAIKUM
10000%CORRECT REPLY -
BUT FROM THIS REPLY I NOTED THE QUESTIONER IS A NOT MUSLIM?
BECAUSE I THOUGHT AND ASSUMED-THE QUESTIONER WAS MODERN EARLIER AND WAS LEARNING ISLAM FROM THIS PERSON AS MENTIONED IN HER LETTER-
REGARDS
Assalaamualaikam
I took from the poster's comments about being given a translation of the Quran and learning about Islam that she was likely still getting to know Islam and perhaps hadn't yet reverted, but on reviewing, I agree it isn't certain which is the case.
Either way, meeting sisters and women who are interested in accepting Islam should help her, inshaAllah, to learn about Islam and form friendships with people who can help her grow in her deen.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Do I have to continue this relationship??? NOOOOO you do not have to continue of course!!!! does he force you to be in a relationship??if so you need to report him!!! There is no relationship in Islam, there is only marriage!!By having an affair he is sinning! Don't let him use you sister,stop all the communication immediately!
Regardless of that please learn about Islam, its a beautiful religion and you will only benefit from it 🙂
Dont ruin ur life, he is taking help of Quran to gain ur sympathies, dont let him. Leave that [expletive deleted]. you will save many lives. Believe me.
[Editor's note: Please avoid using expletives.]