Islamic marriage advice and family advice

He won’t ask his parents and my parents won’t wait for me to get married

time

Under pressure

Salam,

I am a 25 year old girl who is done with her bachelors and stays home all day. I nearly do nothing and keep stressing myself and think all the time .

Almost a year and a half back, I fell in love with this perfect guy who is also 25 years old and is pretty much settled . Right after i met him, i started recieving proposals. I told him and it was really too awkward to ask him to do anything about that as we just nearly met. By now i have had tons of proposals , I have rejected even the best ones over him. I fight with my parents on the proposal or getting married topic, and now when i am 25 and have gained weight as well, they are really worried about me and constantly push me and say bad things to me. They now say to me that i am a burden for them and just because of me my sister who is 24 now is not getting married as well. in my family everyone gets married at the age of 23 but my family thinks since i am a bit healthy that's why I'm not getting married. on the other side the guy i love is really loyal to me and accepts me like I am . I have been asking him from 8 months now to talk to his parents and he says he talked to his mother and she says you will marry by our choice and at 27 .

This is killing me everyday. On every proposal i bring this topic, we stop talking, I fight with my parents, nothing happens and I start talking to him again and everything gets normal. But now my parents have given me a warning that by the end of this year they will get me hooked with any proposal they get. I just don't know what to do and how to ask the guy to take a stand because he just has so much going on in his life, like his new house, his new business that he stays quiet on the proposal topic and after a week we both forgets and get normal . please help me

minna12345

 


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6 Responses »

  1. Sister, the guy has given you a clear answer. He has told you that his mother will find a girl for him and not any sooner. Please think about the ones who love you and not about someone who is just fooling around with you. Get married and start a new life. It might get too late. Stand up for yourself and have some dignity. The guy is nothing more than a play boy. Have the courage to stand for yourself. Don't be a pain for yor sister. Think about it

  2. I don't understand why you waiting for??? Your boyfriend told you clearly his mum will find him a wife at the age of 27!!! He doesn't want to may you, he doesn't respect you, he doesn't take a stand!!! How more clearly do you want him to be??? Don't waist your time or your families time.
    Please respect yourself sister. Don't run after a guy begging him to marry you, he is clearly not interested. Listen to your parents and find a good proposal. Stop communication with your guy.

  3. Aselamu Aleykum sis minna12345,

    I don't see any reason to wait for him since his mom is gonna find him a wife. And as per my understanding, he has no plan to introduce you to his parents so no need to wait for him. He seems like he is waiting for his mom until she gets him a wife i guess. You have no gurantee that his mom might accept you as her son's wife. Allahu A'elem

  4. From guys perspective it is possible that there is somebody at interest or relations ..
    .. social media is the in thing....But why stress ..Now that you completed studies so hard for the world.What did you do for the next world..Do you think you are going to live for ever..Do you know when how you will die...or is this world so distract full that you forgot..? THERE IS ONE GIFT THAT ALLAH GIVES TO THOSE WHO WERE CHOSEN ON THIS EARTH AND THAT'S THE GIFT OF IMAN. THE SAYING IS DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH. ALL IT NEEDS IS SOME POLISHING AND IT WILL ALL MAKES SENSE. REMEMBER THERE IS A PURPOSE IN LIFE ..OVIOUSLY WE DIDN'T COME HERE BY CHANCE..ALLAH HAS MENTIONED CLEARLY ON THE FIRST PAGE OF THE CHAPTER COW IN THE FOLLOWING VERSES..2NDLY TO SUM EVERYTHING UP IN SHORT....SUCCESS IN THIS WORLD AND IN THE HEREAFTER IS ONLY OBEYING THE COMMANDMENTS OF ALLAH THROUGH THE TEACHINGS OF THE HOLY PROPHET MUHAMMAD WHO IS THE FINAL MESSENGER OF GOD (ALLAH). REGARDLESS OF HOW WEALTHY OR INTELLIGENT HE/SHE IS . THIS PERSON WILL NEVER HAVE INNER PEACE AND TRANQUILITY AND BE BLESSED WITH WEALTH THAT WILL STAY ..IN FACT IT HE WILL ALWAYS BE SHORT AND NEVER CONTENT.BASICALLY CURSED BECAUSE OF HIS DISOBEDIENCE.

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  5. Dont west your time and energy sister!!! U fight with ur perents over that coward man who cant even take stand for u. His mum might have told him that she will find him wife when hes 27 but this dosnt mean he HAS to eccept his mum's saying. He can get married whevenr he wants. Which means sister he is NOT willing to marry u now or later. All hes doing is playing games with u and trying to ruint ur life...

    I dont understand why do u think he is a "loyal and good man" whts so good about him???? Shiytan is playing with ur mind sister. Before it gets tooo late just leave him. Cut all contacts with him, listens to ur pernts and totaly forget about him. Get rid of him from ur life and mind!!!! Ur perents dont deserve ur rude behivour with them disrespacting them over a palyboy. Nor that guy worth it. So listen to ur perents and try to find a good partner for ur self.

  6. You are infatuated with a man who clearly has 0 interest in you.

    Rather than waiting and hoping for him to change his mind, forget him, clear your concious and find the best proposal you have and agree to marry him.

    The number of times we read comments like this and shake our heads because if you dont learn from others who've been in the same shoes, who will you learn from.

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