Is it healthy to be virgin after 30?
I have this concern that there might be health risks on staying a virgin for long.. We were having a group discussion (general and not Muslims only), some of whom said that the older a person gets the tighter her Vagina closes and when it is the right time to have sex (in Islam i.e after marriage), they will experience the most excruciating pain. So do the men feel the same?
Now, if a woman doesn't receive proposals and is past that age, what can she do keeping in mind that she doesn't want to commit zinna but is also afraid of her health?
Any opinions as per Hadeeth and Quran...or just general overview..
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As salamu alaykum, sister fa,
Nothing wrong to be virgin, doesn´t matter the age. Some women are born without vagina, others are born with a bit of vagina and needs treatment to develop it or even surgery, a woman when enters menopause will have some effects in the vagina due to the absence of the menstruationa and the change in the productions of hormones, but is due to the normal healthy age process we all women have to go through.
Then don´t worry about it.
If you are looking for a husband 30 is a young age, don´t lose hope and be proactive in the search and move with people with a positive thinking that will bring hope to you, not those that see problems everywhere. Go to your local Imaan, tell your family, ...
And don´t worry about that "excruciating Pain" there are lubricants, games previous to the intercourse that will prepare you for the act and you will have to tell your spouse to be delicate and loving to you, I don´t think he would want to make of the first time a hard moment for you, Allah(swt) forbids.
All my Unconditional Respect,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Dear Sister, Asalaamualaykum,
I am sure there are health risks associated with females not being sexually active as their age increases, esp over 30. So the answer is simple: its futile to worry about such a thing which you can do nothing about. Instead think about the thing you can do: try to look for a spouse, 'in order to have a successful marriage to bring you closer to Allah and not for any other reason'. If you have not had proposals come your way, go to marriage events, socialise, join marriage site or whatever suits you. Different things suit different people.
Quit worrying about things that may never happen and focus on the here and now. Focus on doing what is in your control and then leave the rest to Allah.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
As salamu alaykum, sister Z,
From my experience, I have known many women that haven´t been sexually active in all their life, some of them ( more than 3 in my own family) and many other due to religious duties they acquired and none of them suffered from any medical problem in their sexual organs or in their health in general, in fact, they were quite longevous and had and some of them still have, Alhamdulillah, a healthy life.
The condition of the sexual organs change due to hormonal changes through all our life, menstruation, menopause, pregnancy, but not for having or not sexual active life, this would only affect if you get an illness, Allah(swt) forbids.
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
You are right Maria. At the same time, there are potential health conditions that can develop. They may and may not.
My point was, there is no reason stressing over something that one has no control over. Its an unhealthy way to live and the stress of thinking over time would more likely cause health problems than anything else.
May Allah grant us all strong eemaan, good health and happiness :O)
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Some are saying that virvin woman over 30 creates a risk of health problems. Baloney! This kind of women are Treasure.
Pavel Goberman
Assalamu Alaikum Warhamthallahi Wrbkathuhu,
Sister, with age, the vaginal walls becomes less plastic, less rigid and considerable thinner. If this does happen, vagina will become shorter. The normal vaginal secretion is rare. The tissue of the vagina will decrease as well and the vagina will be drier. Since the vagina will be dry, sexual responses will be highly affected. Sexual intercourse in unfortunatly uncomfortable to an aging woman. And because the walls are thinner and drier, the vagina will be irritated during an intercourse.
I got the info from here: http://www.revirgination.net/vagina-aging.html
Have a look at it, theres more info there aswell in regard to psychological effects.
Hope this helps.
Salaam as far as I know the above changes occur after menopause or around that time. So it isnt anything to worry about too much. I also agree with sister Z. Do not worry about this too much. Whatever Allah swt wills will happen. However, having children fairly young is thought to be better for your health in some aspects. Just look after your health - eat 5 portions of fruit/veg a day if you can. Try not to have too much fat or sugar. Eat oily fish twice a week if you can etc. And exercise at least 3x a week. If you are a stressed person try to learn to relax. Maybe take up yoga. etc. Your body is a gift from Allah so take care of it. Also nurture yourself spiritually. This is most important. Read Qur'an, learn Allah swt's names, of course do your salat. Go outdoors and enjoy the beauty of Allah swt's creation.
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I agree with Sara.
Focus on worshipping Allah, look after yourself, be happy, take up hobbies, sports, dress well, eat well, shine and be happy - genuinely from inside and out. In fact, this is an appropriate place to refer you to Wael's recent article:
http://islamicsunrays.com/be-the-person-you-are-looking-for/
Happy Reading my dears,
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalamu Aleikum Sister,
it is surprising to see all these myths which are spread in the Muslim community due to a lack of
sex education. First of all, the hymen will always stay the "way it is" no matter when you are deflorated.
Women will always experience a bit of pain when they're having their first time. The decisive factor in
experiencing pain or not is not the hymen,it's the foreplay or how the man arouses you before sex. If
he fails to arouse you according to the Sunnah, you're going to have a "tight" feeling or pressure in your
vagina. Another reason may be psychological- it hurts because of the fear of having pain. There
is a medical word for this and your question shows how many myths circulate around this issue of sex.
The first time of a woman in her 40's won't be any different to the first time of a woman in her 20's. It's
a question of practice and the more you have sex, the more will you realize that having sex is like
everything else in life. When you get used to it, and improve it and work on it with patience, you can't live
without it.
Jazakallah and don't you worry. If you don't have a strong desire to get married, I would recommend you not
to hurry because of your concerns. They are baseless concerns. Choose your spouse with patience.
"I would recommend you not to hurry because of your concerns. They are baseless concerns. Choose your spouse with patience."
Very well said Jannah!
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Good luck in finding a spouse
I am very suprised someone asked this question hence i am glad it appeared. I dont think there are any risks being a virgin even over 30. The only risk there is, is there may be complications in getting pregnant other than this please do not worry. Also if you are overweight, have health complications, on medications for certain health problems other than this if you are healthy you will be fine inshallah. If you read too much into this then you will stress and worry yourself for no reason. Yes the skin does get tighter but one of the reasons to this the skin does appear to become thin.
Advice i will give to you is not to analyise this too much as everyone is differant and coope with things differantly worship allah and make dua inshallah then you will be fine.