Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Heart broken and don’t know what to do

depressed man at waterside

Assalam o alaikum

I am going through very hard times.Straight to the point,I love a girl for about 5 years and we used to talk on sms and facebook(I didn't meet her or saw her except for very starting time of our relationship and at that time we didn't know each other. We started talking on phone after she mo to transfer of her dad).

she also claim to love me and she promised that she will do everything she could for us to get married.(btw I am 20 years old good looking boy and she is also 20).

I thought that she was serious with me so i told all this to my mother and she promised me that she will will help me to get married to that girl.

but suddenly her parents accept a proposal for her.She rejected him but they have done her engagement without her will and presence(they left her at her grandma's house).

I asked her to talk to her father and show him hadiths on this topic that a girl cannot be married without her consent.But she refused and said that she love me but she will never talk to her father about this nor she will accept that boy as her husband even after marriage.

After that i stopped talking to her but she is constantly texting me that i left her and that if we cannot get married we could be FRIEND S.

I am very depressed over this i even asked my mom to talk to her mother but her mother refused to my proposal and said that they will never marry their daughter out of family.

from that day i am not feeling blood pressure is high,i can't even sleep.

i just wanted to marry her and i didn't even met her during our relation.I just wanted a true relation with her through nikah.

is this allowed for her parents to force her?

how can i forget her and move on?

sorry for my bad english because i am not good at making sentences in English.


Assalam o alaikum


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3 Responses »

  1. Let go
    There's no way around it

    you can't have her because there are other people who has more Authority than you

    you have only known her since you were 15 and you are 20 and on Facebook

    that's not really knowing anyone

    On Facebook you can be anyone
    you will always see the happy side of things
    but know her in real life
    and it will be a different experience

    just let her go

    it's not worth it

    you will get over it and move on

    you will find another girl

    you are 20 years old and you are still young

    for a boy or a man that is not a hundred percent mature in this respect

    concentrate on getting a good job
    that will support your wife in the future

    Block her out of your life
    Online and offline

    Good luck

  2. brother,
    First of all am sorry for your situation.
    i am elder than you AND have more experience in dealing with such ppl and relationships.
    i assure you this girl does not love you AT ALL. She is just keeping you for the sake of friendship or sharing her problems and etc.

    Leave her, Block her and get yourself busy in your education and in remembrance of Allah. Pray five times a day read Quran with tafseer, Keep on reciting durood shareef. I guarantee you, you will forget her in no time. INSHA ALLAH.
    May Allah make things easy for you

  3. Brother you made 2 questions and am going to reply to them.
    Is this allowed for her parents to force her?
    No,Its not..But who cares if its allowed or not,cuz in the end,would you like to be part of a family that does things by force?.No,it wouldnt make you happy.

    how can i forget her and move on?
    You will forget her no matter what you do.Average waiting time is 1 year.Want to speed this process?.Get close to ALLAH with salah,good deeds,duaas,night prayer,everything you can.You will forget her that fast you will even forget that you are trying to forget her 😀

    ps:This may sound strange,but from my experience,the broken heart is a huge gift.After this bitter feelings go away,you will see how strong you will be.I had my heart broken as much as I cant remember,and I just understood that this was to prepare me for this Huge Sorrow i am experiencing.Its all for good brother trust me.And the last thing,there is a message,in every broken heart,DO THINGS IN THE ISLAMIC WAY,and ALLAH will put baraqah in that marriage.Dont wait 5 years,find a girl that matches your requirements,do it Islamically and make her wife.

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