Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Heart Broken! How can I trust again!!

Salam Brothers and Sisters.

What can I tell you, my heart has been broken, its been almost 2 months now and no, I have  yet to cry or anything. I fell for this muslim brother call Ali. I can't even tell you,  how many days and nights I prayed to Allah that he would look my way. Looking in to his eyes it was one of those moments where I knew I wanted to live there. I had never felt such an emotion or feeling.

After some time, we began to talk and he would spent a decent amount of time with me in my family's house. (chaperoned). I felt like I could have not asked for more.  After some time, we spoke about marriage and children. I actually believed him. We had the day set and all. I can't begin to tell you how thankful I was. Then he disappeared. Forgot I existed and I never saw him again. He disappeared, never called, never said why and just left.

I ask why, I wanted to cry and scream and hate him. Yet I feel so  empty.  He took  everything, my smile, love, trust and left me hurt and unable to trust. I no longer know what to think or do or just anything.

Help please, I need to understand and see ahead. I feel so lonely and betrayed, yet so blank.

please help.

- sweetlillah24

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19 Responses »

  1. Sister, Asalaamualaykum,

    Its one of the hardest thing being betrayed by someone dear to us and because you have had no chance to demand an explanation, you are unable to find closure.

    If your family know him, maybe they could track him down and demand an explanation. If this is not possible, then it would be best for you to come to terms with this in another way, by understanding that this man has personal issues, a personality problem or lacks in character which has allowed him to betray you. Alternately something could have happened whereby he is genuinely not in a position to contact you; but in this day of heightened technology, I doubt it very much - unless he has God forbid been in a serious accident, been taken hostage or is stranded on an Island somewhere (which again I highly doubt). You may never know.


    Sister - sometimes we have warning signs about a person but tend to ignore them because we are so hung up on them. For example, you said that: "Looking in to his eyes it was one of those moments where I knew I wanted to live there. I had never felt such an emotion or feeling." This is based completely on feeling, emotion perhaps even lust. It sounds like Hollywood/Bollywood talk. I do not know enough about your situation to comment in detail, but it seems that maybe you fell in love with a fantasy without knowing important things about him as a person.

    Furthermore, if your relationship with this person had gone as far as setting a wedding date, I find it very odd that there is no way of knowing of his whereabouts. Reason being that, surely if you were planning a wedding with him, his family would be involved - right? So where are they in all this? If they were never on the scene, that is enough reason for warning bells to ring out loud.


    Sister - it will take time, but try to accept things the way they are, assess where you could have been more wary and cautious. Instead of allowing yourself to fall inlove with an appearance of someone, focus on their character and do take heed of the warning signs. There are Islamic ettiquettes in getting to know someone for marriage, they are set for our own protection maashaAllah. See the following link:

    Best Wishes

    SisterZ, Editor

  2. Asslamualikum:

    I am sorry to hear your situation and I first of all express my sympathy to you.

    I however have something for you that you may find is hard to chew. However, my speaking of truth is not devoid of sympathy towards you and the situation you are in. Just remember that 😉

    In your description, you have said:

    After some time, we began to talk and he would spent a decent amount of time with me in my family's house. (chaperoned).

    Although chaperoned, does Islam allow such pre-marriage time spending? As far as my knowledge goes, the prospective groom can see the bride in the presence of a wali and ask some questions to her only after the marriage proposal has been made. And the marriage proposal too has to be made honorably.

    In your case, however, both of you talked like friends and such friendship is not allowed in Islam. Since you have talked about marriage and children, I am assuming that it was a friendly talk. Such talk is not honorable in the yardstick of Islam. No matter how sincere the intention is, in such pre-marriage time spending session, Shaytan comes as the third person and seduces the heart. He infiltartes the heart with bow of emotion. Emotion is good but we have to be careful if it leads us to something that Allah has forbidden.

    If Ali was a person of very good understanding of deen, he would have not talked with you either. But he did, and it shows that he has some serious deficiency in his understanding of Islam.

    Whatever the situation, we have to remain pleased with the decree of Allah. Whenever Allah inflicts us with pain, we say Alhamdulillah. Whenever he bless us with good, we also say Alhamdulillah. We as believers are always happy and grateful with the decree of Allah.

    Reading your story, it seems to me that it is a blessing in disguise that Allah has removed that person from your life. It is definitely Shaytan who is causing pain. Remember two things:

    01. Shaytan has no power over you except he can wishper in your heart. Ignore his whisper and it will become easy for you.

    02. "Allah burdens a soul not beyond its capability to withstand", so seek help from Allah and He indeed has the power to replace you with someone better.

    • blackhole, I think your opinion is extreme, unrealistic and incorrect. Potential brides and grooms must talk in order to find out if they are compatible for marriage. Shaytan is only the third if they are alone in a room together, not when they are sitting in an open environment with family or chaperons.

      As far as I know, there is absolutely no prohibition against Muslim men and women talking to each other in any open setting. They can discuss work issues, religious matters, or whatever they choose as long as the subject matter itself is not lewd or inappropriate, and as long as they are modest with their gaze.

      Wael Editor

      • Brother Wael:

        I do not deny that my opinion is strict. However, after reading your post, I have done a few more reading and I say that I was not incorrect in this case. You can call me strict, I do not deny that.

        Normally when it comes to matters of deen, I prefer to be on the safe side. You loosen something, it gradually makes transgressing the boundary set by Allah easier. A prospective groom can be look only if he is serious about marriage. He should then let his seriousness know to the wali of the girl. Only then he can look and do some talking. Surely I do not know the full story mentioned above, I however felt that time spending between them was beyond the Sharee limit and as a consequence, the sister has fallen in a a difficult trial. May Allah maker her come out of this trial successfully.

        Can you quote me any hadith or any incident where the companions of the prophet go beyond looking? Has anyone of them done pre-marriage talking?

        As for me when I will marry inshallah, I will only look once. As for the compatibility thing, I am developing a detailed survey, which I will give my prospective bride to fill out.

        Debating about deen is not a good thing either. I am a mere human and I make mistake. When you said that I was incorrect regarding the talaq issue in another post, I also did some reading and I have found that I was clearly in error. I thank you for enlightening me about that.



          • blackhole, I read those articles carefully and I found nothing to indicate that a Muslim man and woman cannot talk together before marriage, as long as they are not in private, and they lower their gaze, and do not speak romantically or seductively, and the subject of their discussion is ma'roof (open and above board) and for a good purpose, namely getting to know each other for marriage.

            1st citation (2572): this one is only about what the man is allowed to see before marriage. There is no dispute on this.

            2nd citation (13791): this one supports my view:

            Note that it is permissible for a man to speak to a non-mahram woman, subject to important guidelines and conditions, the purpose of which is to prevent fitnah and sin. These conditions include :

            1- That it is not possible to speak to her through one of her mahrams or through a woman who is his mahram.

            2- That should be done without being alone with her (khulwah).

            3- That should not go beyond permissible topics.

            4- There should be no fitnah (temptation). If his desire is stirred by talking to her or if he starts to enjoy it, then it is haraam.

            5- The woman should not speak in a soft manner,

            6- The woman should be wearing full hijaab and be modest, or he should speak to her from behind a door. It is better if they speak on the phone, and even better if they communicate via letters or e-mail, for example.

            7- That should not go beyond what is necessary.

            If these conditions are met and there is no fear of fitnah, then it is o.k. And Allaah knows best.

            The article also references a Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan who says (without giving any supporting evidence) that the two should not speak on the telephone.

            3rd citation (1497): says that the woman should not speak "softly", i.e. in a romantic or seductive tone. Again, no disagreement here.

            4th citation (27304): This one is about talking to women in the workplace. He starts by mentioning the words of Allah (swt): "“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All‑Aware of what they do."

            Of course we accept Allah's words. But then the Imam goes on to express a personal opinion that I think, quite frankly, is ridiculous. He says:

            If your work involves continually looking at and mixing with women, we advise you to leave this job and look for another, or to move to another department in the same company where there are no women.

            If your work does not involve continually looking at and mixing with women, rather it only happens sometimes in an area other than the place where you work, then there is nothing wrong with staying in the job, so long as you lower your gaze and do the parts of your job that involve contact with women in the shortest possible time, and keep away from the causes of fitnah as much as possible.

            Come on now. We do not all live in Saudi Arabia. In the city in California where I live, most of the Muslims are professionals. Some are university lecturers. Many of the Pakistanis are medical doctors. Some of the Arabs - including one Imam - work for Caltrans (the state transportation authority). In every one of these workplaces, there are women. What workplace in the West does not have women? Does the Imam want us all to abandon the West in millions and move to Afghanistan, where our women can stay home uneducated and we can all starve? Or should we all quit the universities and hospitals and work in gas stations, which are usually staffed by men?

            Some of these Imams have so little experience of the world outside their tiny Saudi or UAE bubbles that their opinions on certain matters are largely irrelevant to our lives today.


        • Brother, I could quote many, many, many instances of men and women sahabah talking to each other during the time of the Prophet (pbuh). Right now I need to get ready to go to the masjid for salat and iftar. And quite honestly I am not inclined to do the research on this because it's very obvious, just pick up the seerah or any book of hadith and you will find many such examples. Maybe later I will look up a few Insha'Allah.

          "Developing a detailed survey", lol. Come on, brother. Actually I like you for some reason, I think you would be a cool person to know, and I know your intentions are good, but do you think a woman is going to make a decision to spend her life with you based on a survey? That is not how life works. Women are emotional creatures and they make decisions based on their intuition and their hearts, not on a dry survey. I have actually seen some marriage books with lists of questions to ask a prospective partner, but the idea is that you sit down together (in public) and discuss the questions with each other.


          • The Children of Israel was a united nation. They however got divided after knowledge was given to them. Throughout the history of humankind, the same happened again and again. People got divided after Allah sent down the knowledge. Argument brew between you and me, and that too is about knowledge. History has been repeated. The following response to be honest is more of a collection of some thoughts that I have deduced from my observation. You can call it a rant 🙂

            The time we are living in is the time of fitnah,the time of temptation and trial. There is one hadith in which the Messenger of Allah said that time will come when holding onto imaan will be like holding on to a burning coal in your own hand. I think that difficult time has surely come, because now we see the co-existence of non-mahram men and women in every sphere of life. This is not only the scenario in America or Europe, this is the case everywhere, even in Middle East. I go to school-men and women are studying together. I go to work-men and women are working together. I go to beach-men and women are sunbathing together. In another hadith, the Messenger of Allah said that there would be no greater fitnah for the men of his ummah except for women.

            I will now give you some examples of how subtle the fitnah of women can be. First: I went to a university where the environment was completely Western. Males and females study together. Allah made me a good student and people used to come to me for help. I will not lie, when girls used to come to me to understand something, I would go some extra miles to make them understand. Sure, I was professional in my behavior, I had the understanding of deen, and I had nothing bad in my heart, but for some unknown reasons, I most often exerted some extra effort to make them understand. Second: I used to work under a gorgeous Jordanian lady in the university library. She was a mother of two children, was in her mid 30s. I was professional, she was professional, I had nothing about her in my mind, yet subconsciously I would lovingly carry out any library-work related order she gave me. Re-read the word ‘lovingly’ ;). Third: there used to be a male librarian working in the library. Both the lady (my boss) and that male staff were professional in the beginning but eventually they would talk for hours and that happened before my eyes. What would they talk about for hours every day? About the work in library? Allah knows best. Fourth: I have seen professors and lab/teaching assistants more compassionate and attentive whenever female students approached them to understand something. Similar to me :D. Fifth: In the driving school I went, the instructors are mostly male. If their student is also male, mashallah, they behave so harshly from day one that you would feel that you are guilty for not knowing how to drive by birth. After a few days, they would start asking you for bribe. However, if the student is a lady, the instructors become angels overnight. Same happens during the driving test. Males drive perfectly only to fail the test, while females shake throughout the test drive only to pass the test. But mashallah, both the police and the instructors are professional. Sixth: I once asked a salesman about something; just then a Philippino lady also asked something. The salesman behaved as if I was not there. Seventh: In hospital I have seen many times doctors and nurses talking in a way that anyone can miscomprehend them as husband and wife. If I want, I can continue with such examples.

            I used to think that I am religious, people called me that too (because they saw me observing prayer and Allah blessed a good voice in reciting Quran). My heart loved the tag of ‘religious’. Such complement was actually the food for my hidden ego. Then came the realization by the mercy of Allah. I think that I am religious but I take pleasure while working professionally with a girl wearing sleeveless in a lab. I think that I am a good slave of Allah but I take pleasure explaining engineering concepts to a girl who is dressed yet not dressed. Things looked innocent outside and even to me, but were they really innocent? There was no lewd talk or glance or thought or anything inappropriate from me or from the girls, yet something was amiss. The wrong was the mere innocent presence of a girl beside me and talking with her, which gave me a pleasure that I am not supposed to derive from anyone except a wife. Such unlawful pleasure is the first step; there could be two possible outcomes from it. Either it lead you to bigger sin, or you persist with the same sin. Both are harmful.

            Now the question comes, can non-mahram men and women, although properly dressed and with everything else proper, ever get desensitized to such mutual co-existence, in work place for example? My conclusion is: NO, and I understand that I cannot pass my judgment to all and sundry. Every time I have talked with a non-mahram girl or woman, I surely knew that my testosterone level increased. If not, how else I get that unlawful pleasure from just talking with them? Or from just merely working with them? My testosterone never got desensitized to the presence of woman (if anyone else’s get, how sex sells), what got with desensitized with the passage of time was my imaan-my conviction. First time I worked or talked with a girl for professional reasons, my heart experienced a shock pulse that I am doing something that is not allowed by my Lord. Eventually, I did not feel that shock.

            If this is the case while working with girls observing somewhat proper dress manner, anyone can deduce the conclusion about what goes on the mind of a male in the presence of females who are not properly dressed.

            Since the mutual presence of men and women has become the norm of present world, how can I stay away from such trial?

            Absolute staying away is possible only if our love for this duniya can be absolutely abandoned. For example, before I went to the university, I knew that a trial was awaiting for me. I still went there because I thought I would be able to make a lot of money if I get my degree from an American university. Carefully examine my intention and the events that followed up. If I really wanted to avoid the trial, I would have not gone there. Since I have gone there, it means I have compromised my deen, whether I perceive it or not, whether I admit it or not. Since I have gone there, it means the state of my imaan was not strong enough to avoid a place like that altogether. If I have avoided, what could I have done? May be studying in some low profile university which is segregated (such universities are available in ME). I did not pursue such options because I was afraid that a low profile university would not buy me the social status or job I desire. A strong, uncompromising imaan however would have cared for the status with Allah and it would have firmly believed that prestigious degree does not buy provision; rather it is Allah who gives provision.

            However, it is also extreme to say that we would have to live in Afghanistan to stay away from temptation. No, we do not have live in Afgahanistan. We pray to Allah, seek refuge in Allah and Allah will find replacement for us. But we will have to make some sacrifices. Instead of going to an American university, I will have to remain satisfied with a degree from a low profile university. Instead of serving in a big company where culture is unislamic, I will have to serve in a small company where the culture is more Islamic and remain satisfied with a low salary. Instead of living in a dazzling city in the West where shamelessness is prevalent inside and outside, I will have to opt to live in an unknown city somewhere else, where people dress more moderately. Instead of marrying a gorgeous Christian girl, I will have to marry a Muslim girl, who may be a little less gorgeous but have a beautiful character.

            Saudi scholars sometimes give some ridiculous fatwa, but most of the times they give excellent ruling. Most of them are orthodox scholars. However, majority of the time their rulings offend people. People reject them. People say they are wahabi. People say that the Saudi scholars have no experience about outside world. Both assumptions are wrong. Not all scholars are wahabi. And many scholars know how life outside Saudi is. Sheikh Saleh al-Munajjid, the scholar who gives fatwa in was the ambassador of Saudi in USA for couple of years. Sheikh Muhammad Al-Arfi, a prominent scholar in Riyadh, learned English in New Zealand so that he can give dawah to English speaking people. Sheikh Saleh Al-Talib, one of current imams of Masjidul Haram, did his Ph. D. in international law from one of the universities of Britain. Despite such backgrounds of the scholars, do you want to know why their viewpoints or mere suggestions like why we should leave workplace that requires too much interaction with women offend us?

            Before we make every decision, we rarely think how it would affect my deen. We think how it would benefit my duniya. I went to an American University for worldly reasons, did not even want to think about the temptation and trial that awaited me. People go to America or West without thinking twice how they would bring up their children islamically or how they would manage halaal food. People marry a Christian without thinking about is future consequence. When taking a job offer, we only check the salary and other benefits, never mind to check if the company requires too much mingling with opposite sex or if it would allow us prayer breaks. Since we only think about duniya, our life style also gets shaped like that. We constantly talk with opposite sex, eat whatever food comes before us and simultaneously inside our heart we feel, “Mashallah! I am doing well spiritually”. Suddenly then a scholar here and a scholar there says “this is not so proper, a better way would be this”, we cannot take it. Because we are unfortunately not prepared to make such sacrifices and re-adjust our life styles, because we exceedingly love duniya, which we perceive not most of the times, and yet at the same time we call ourselves religious or good Muslims.

            The whole scenario is like playing hide and seek with our own heart. That’s why we cannot withstand self-analysis done with brute honesty. It defeats the hide and seek game. However, can we play hide and seek with Allah? Everyone will get the answer in day of reckoning, and none shall be wronged. An untainted heart that day will be the most valuable thing.

          • One more thing:

            Please do not quote the interactions that took place the companions of prophet and females of their time. They were people taught directly by the Messenger of Allah. Can we ever reach their status? If we can, we can also talk.

            PS. I have ranted a lot, I apologize in advance if I have offended you any way. This is the month of Ramadan and I do not intend to offend my seniors.

  3. Assalamu Alaikum dear sis,

    Im sorry that you are hurt and are feeling lonely and must be a very hard time for you.....may Allah(SWT)make things easier for you Ameen. Sis when someone dear to us leaves it feels as if our whole world has fallen apart and we feel that there is nothing which would make us feel better. But, as the time progress we learn to survive!We learn to laugh again!It might seem (for now) that you will never be the same again....however, sis if you try(only you as noone can help you if you dont want to help yourself!)InshaAllah you will learn to smile again and you will be happy Ameen.... you can start fresh and spend more time in remembering Allah(SWT)....inshaAllah you wil see with time you wil forget about this whole thing and will thank Allah(SWT)...

    Sis remember everything happens for a reason and perhaps Allah has planned something better for you InshaAllah.I myself am going through a tough time at the moment so I can somewhat understand wt your going through but I have stopped crying now cuz I had rather cry and ask Allah for forgiveness then cry for a man and waste my tears! I came across this quote which I would like to share it with you....

    Allaah says:

    “…and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allaah knows but you do not know.” (Surah Baqarah: 216)

    Al-Hasan al-Basri said: “Do not resent the calamities that come and the disasters that occur, for perhaps in something that you dislike will be your salvation, and perhaps in something that you prefer will be your doom.”

    Sis Allah has given you an opportunity to start fresh dont dwell on the past.....look forward to the bright future that you will have cr

  4. I was with a Muslim man for nearly a year. He said his wife was a lesbian so he was not legally married but since we live in the U.S., he had to file for divorce to comply with state law. He led a double life, saying he loved me, making love with me, planning our marriage, giving me a ring, etc. He even denied his immigration status saying he had not yet received his Green Card, all the while he and his wife & child bought an expensive brand new house when he told me he was on Welfare, working only 2 nights a week. He then took me to court and lied not only to me but also on the court documents, and lied again before the judge. He prayed Salat 5 times daily, fasted during Ramadan, and yet lied to me about his marital status for a year.

    I never found out why he did all these despicable things because of his court order against me (he claimed I called his wife asking her to divorce him but he told me he filed for divorce and sent me emails that he had done so & gave me his lawyer's name). Everything was a lie. I don't see how a supposedly "devout" Shiite Muslim man could risk losing entering Paradise by lying to me, his wife, and the courts. He is educated and worked with American soldiers in Iraq for nearly 5 years but still, on missions, the military permitted him to roll out his prayer mat and pray and observe his Islamic beliefs.

    Why a Muslim woman would put up with a cheating, lying husband is beyond my comprehension. Oh, did I mention he sexually assaulted me when I confronted him with his lies and that I knew he was living with a wife and was not divorced? In this area, only 1 percent of rape cases are prosecuted by the District Attorney so he got away with a felony. My only consolation is he will face his God (Allah) and have to pay for what he has done. I am undergoing therapy for the damage he has done to me but even before I pressed charges with the police, I asked ONLY that he apologize for what he did to me (the rape) but he refused...obviously believing the Islamic rule that unless 4 males witness the rape, it is not rape and that somehow the woman "deserved it."

    I was living a pure, celibate life for many years before I met him, and I will continue to be by myself for the rest of my life. As for him, I hope he fries in Hell for disrespecting his wife, me, and his Islamic faith.

    • Dear Natasha,

      What you have endured is appalling. Please don't let this evil mans actions distort your view of Muslims. This fraud tricked you completely. Even if his wife was gay, they would still be married.

      Unfortunately,there are many imposters who outwardly display acts of devotion to Allah. But Allah is the knower of all things and knows what lies in our hearts and our every thought, act and if our intentions are sincere.The hypocrites and evil doers will surely pay.

      I pray you will overcome this suffering and in time you will heal. Guard yourself better and allow yourself to have a good husband one day.

      • Hopeful,

        Thank you for the encouraging words. There were so many things he lied about and deceived me that it would take a whole book to detail them all. Am I not correct that a true Muslim risks his soul by committing perjury (lying) in court before God? Does he not think he will not be punished for committing adultery and violating his wife AND me? He seemed to be hung up on all the ceremony regarding Islamic faith but not truly believe in it or he would not have sexually assaulted me and lied about that too.

        My experience is that most Muslims are hypocrites and have an answer to get out of any their wife will forgive them if they repent of their "sin" of adultery, lying that he raped me, lying he even knew me, lying to the government to get financial benefits. In all my life, I never met anyone who committed so much wrong under the label of being a "devoutly religious man."

        Has any other non-Muslim woman had this experience or something similar with a Muslim man? I would like to hear from you because it would help me get over this pain & trauma.

        There must be other women who have been tricked by cheating, lying Muslim men and if you live in Arizona, don't even report the rape to the police because they do their job but the courts will not prosecute. Save your dignity, women.

  5. Salaams,

    To the author of this post ( re your alias, I don't think it is correct to make words like that ending in Allah)
    You are talking like you were actually in a relationship. I understand 'Blackholes' viewpoint because the conversations you were having were not formal and businesslike and more like building a relationship. Thus you fell in love with this person. Or indeed lust, which is why he says the shaytaan had an influence. I don't know how you could look into his eyes without being embarrassed or shy. Anyway the best thing is get over it. The guy was not even yours at all. You say you had the day set and all. It may have been that he said he likes a summer wedding. I'm sorry but as Sister Z said, its all abit Bollywood and fantastic. You are talking like you were jilted on your wedding day.

    You are young and naive and thus got lured and hurt. This guy as said above had not followed the correct protocol. Where was his family and who actually shaperoned. I'm sorry to be like this but I can't see how a family would allow a random guy to enter their home on several occasions and sit there while he sweet talks their daughter.

    Don't waste your time praying to Allah that you see thhis guy again. Ask Allah to righlty guide you and increase you in knowledge so that you may avoid this kind of situation again.



  6. Re the epic story from Blackhole 15th Aug 2010

    One thing that rather annoyed me about all that was the following;

    . Instead of marrying a gorgeous Christian girl, I will have to marry a Muslim girl, who may be a little less gorgeous but have a beautiful character.


    Why would a Muslim girl be considered less gorgeous? Oh because she is modest in dress and doesn't appear clothed but naked? A Muslim woman covers her beauty and only reveals it to her husband so you wouldn't get to see the extent of her beauty. This comment is rather a disappointment from someone who otherwise expresses how religious he is.

    Also the bit about 'will HAVE TO marry a Muslim'. Oh wow what a sacrfice you are making! You really don't HAVE TO as you can marry a christian or jew, just as long as they are CHASTE.

    • There are amazingly georgous arabic women. maybe you have your beauty own criteria, but thats not nice said. I personally know many western who love more the arabic beauty. so its quite your personal beauty opinion, but not nice to say this.

      • I am sorry if you got annoyed or offended by that, it was not a sweeping generalization. Living in an Arab country, who knows better then me that Arab girls are HOT? In that sentence, I imagined a hypothetical situation for someone, where he has is facing two options: One is attractive in terms of duniya but less beneficial in terms of deen and vice versa.


        You will have to marry a Muslim only if you really concern about religion, otherwise don't. The second caliph of Islam, Omer (RA) sent a letter to one of his governors, who was also a companion of the Messenger of Allah and married a Christian after relocation from Madinah, to divorce his Christian wife. I am sure the companion married a chaste girl. Although the Governor himself was a companion of the Messenger, the Caliph still feared the religion of his offspring.

  7. Dear bro.
    What can I tell you, my heart has been broken, its been almost 2 months now this about my friend who help me much and spending time and who was taking care of me during my delivery time..i have concscience, when she was the one helping me taking care of my children ,i have learned her a lot everything being a mother,she was my friend for almost 7 years.but suddenly our friendship has gone.\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\because she thinks that i betraying her talking bad about her.which is i'm not...but people who makes us a story and she believes people behind us.thats the reason why we're not friend now...Now what i will question are:

    1.she's became snubbish to me if try to talk to her she will answer but she didn't try to look at me.Do i have still to push myself to continue talk to her even i felt that she dont want me to be her friend anymore?
    2.what will i do? if ever we see each other in the corridor because we are in the same company..possible everyday we see each other.i cant might ignore her.

  8. Salam to all!
    m a Muslim and a Lecturer of a University.

    (Comment has been removed. Please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you. - Editor)

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