Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Heartbroken after falling in love with a scammer

pain heart ache

Please give me suggestion to forget. My name is Jaffer and live in Pakistan, belong to a very well educated and liberal family. I am 29 years old and I also have very charming personality. I am the only son of my parents.

Few months later I got an add in the news paper that someone needed an honest, smart and well educated person for marry from UK. I had tried to contact and after three days of my contact I got response and she was 32 years old woman. I have talked to her and she asked me different questions and I answered and she told me that she agreed to marry with me. I am a sincere person and told her all things related to me, my family and my life style. several times we have talked on Skype and then on phone calls.

One day she asked me that she had fallen in deep love with me and asked Can I migrate to UK for her, I told her that give me some time to think about it and she agreed. After 3 days I have sent her an email and told her that first of all if she wanted to come Pakistan for wedding ceremony and meet my family so I could arrange everything for her and another choice if there was no possibility for her to come then I would migrate because I also felt love from my heart and soul for her. After all these discussion one day she asked me for passport scan copy and I sent it to her. She gave me one mail id and told me that this is a lawyer and he would handled our case. After few days I got an email from that email id which she had given to me. I read the email and he mentioned that he need 500 pounds to make a file and I could send him via western union. That time I felt not easy to send because the situation was suspicious but I decided to send money because my love was pure for her. I had send 1000 pounds to that person. After sending money she called me and told that she was very happy and she would meet me soon. My love was pure and I was doing everything with sincerity. After few days of sending money some one called me from UK number and told me that she was speaking from Embassy and wanted to ask me some questions and I replied that how is this possible that you are taking an interview on phone call and from UK but she insist that because of terrorism the embassy does not show their numbers and I was shocked, hahaha...My love was real and I answered of her questions then she told me that after two days I could get the result.

After two days she called me that my interview was cleared and she needed 2000 pounds for all the expenses for visa and I sent her again. After sending 2000 pounds she got disappeared till now. I was not fool but I really loved her.

My Question is not that the issue is my money but I want to ask that how can I control my feelings of my true love. If she needed the money I could send her more but the worst thing is that my heart is broken. And can I find  true love if I get another experience in my life.

I have firm belief in Allah and never afraid bad fortune brought by fate.



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7 Responses »

  1. The first thing that comes to my mind is finally a Pakistani man has been cheated too. As more than often they are the ones cheating.
    I have no sympathy for u tbh. I think all u saw was a British passport coming your way hence u continued sending this person money...very daft of u.
    Now, however if at all u loved her (which is hard to believe in such a short span of time) then rest assured that Allah will provide u with a better honest companion.
    Apologies if u find any of my comments hurtful.

  2. Brother, did you seriously send upwards of 4lakh Pakistani rupees without ever once confirming the procedure from the embassy yourself? What were you thinking?
    It is true that whatever is destined to happen by fate, does happen. But, consequences follow actions. Nothing ever happens out of nowhere. You chose to chase a British passport and thought your charming looks liberal mindset and some money will buy you a ticket to England in the form of a british wife, is that so?
    Accept that you were blinded by love and hence fooled. Once you realise and internalise the fact that you were careless, it will be easy to accept
    that you were cheated. And after that I am sure, this is not an incident you would like to talk about. Who likes to tell others that he has been so foolish!

  3. It's not true love if she scammed you.

    You have no choice, but to get over it. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

  4. Assalam-o-alaikum,
    Brother,it is clearly seems that you'r cheated by her,the only problem was you are not accepting the situation till now.the only thing i want to say is that Move on..she is gone and life is still on...make a schedule of your lyf,university/work life,hangout with friends,cousins and try to forget that incident.. concern to ALLAH(S.W.T)and make yourself a true muslim than a liberal.these all things last at one day!and of course you find ur love in a halal manner(ur wife)! search ur wife in pakistan and where ever u want..i hope u will find a 100 times better girl than her..but don't find a liberal one(ok sorry if you mind)but iam also a pakistani and i knew that a loyal,simple,muslimah can gave you a quality time with,your wound will heal soon as compared to a liberal girl who has actually no time for her family..(this is only my thinking)
    please share ur feeling's if it was helped!
    May ALLAH(S.W.T) bless u nd your family,
    Eid Mubarak...

  5. I can't believe that people are so much fool to be cheated like this .
    True love , True love . what is that ? Please stop this nonsense .
    Move on in life .

    • I have been cheated on by my husband for many years and I feel like a fool. I know if u were genuinely interested in her then it will be hard to overcome and to accept. U may even think that she might have possibly loved u too. But trust me bruv I don't think so. This was very hard for me to accept myself tbh. Even now I doubt that thinking he must have loved me at some point or did he not. But that doesn't matter anymore because in your case she's gone. Remember we plan and Allah plans and indeed He is the Greatest of Planners.
      Give yourself time to heal and feel what u do atm. U will see the beauty in this soon.

    • Brothers and Sisters,

      Being cheated doesn't require foolishness on one's part...only a kind and honest heart that wouldn't suspect such behavior from another.


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