Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Heartbroken after losing her

lonely man, losing her,

Assalamualaikkum rahmathullah.

Muslim boy doing masters right now.

I was in a relationship with one christian girl for 3.5-4 years.Started as friends and ended in a tight bond of love.we loved each other sincerely. we knew that its never gonna end up in our marriage.but still we continued with our relationship. i never disclosed this to my parents and neither she. But recently we decided to get separate. Still we couldnt. I started to keep away from contacting her and keep on informing her about the complication of our relationship. Recently she started to move on from this and accepted the reality of the situation. She accepted a guy who were proposing her from the time when we were in relation. And this guy presented his interest on her to her parents and she accepted and her parents as well.

I really miss her like hell. I tried all the ways to get rid out of this and to accept the reality of the situation. but could not. I never wanted to disturb her coz i cant marry her since she is a christian. but i really love her and i could not stop loving her. Even though their marriage is almost fix i cant stop my love to her. i miss her and i feels like she ran away from me (she did not informed me that she accepted that guy, first time when she told me this i literally got a severe shock). Kindly give me some advices so that i can move on. its been 4 months since i cut all the contacts with her. i just cant even think any other girl in my life.

Thanks in advance

In anticiption of some practical islamic advices


Tagged as: , , , , , , , , ,

10 Responses »

  1. Salaam. Not sure what advice you are wanting but I suggest the following:

    1. Repent to Allah and ask for forgiveness for the sins you have committed.

    2. Make dua for Allah to guide you to what is best for you.

    3. If she is Christian, then islamically you can marry her - the children have to be brought up as Muslims. Have you thought about this?

    May Allah are it easy for you .

  2. boy you have a sick heart. We have to clean it.After all those sins committed small or large it accumulated on your heart .So your heart does not reflect!!!Nothing happens when we are reminded or think of Allah.My friend do not trade your Iman for this very short world that has no value.If she saw any thing good in you other then LUST. ..she would have excepted your belief and become muslim?But the end of the day she is not muslim!MY ADVICE AS A SUNNI MUSLIM I SUPPOSE...GO AND SPEND SOME TIME IN TABLIGH WITH THE JAMAAT. GIVE TIME AND LEARN THIS NOBLE WORK.IT WILL DEFINATELY CHANGE AND HELP YOU IN YOUR LIFE.GO TO YOUR LOCAL MOSQUE AND MAKE A START OTHER THEN THIS ADVICE IT WILL BE VERY HARD BECAUSE SHAITAN WILL NOT LEAVE YOU AT ALL.HE WILL USE THIS AGAINST YOU.SO BEWARE.

  3. Well it says that Time is the healer but nopes being muslim i must say only Allah is the healer of our hearts
    He will heal your heart inshaAllah all u have to do is to recite
    "inna lilah e waa inna illahe rajioun"
    Its a QURANIC dua in times of loss..... i myself experienced this and now i feel nothing abt my past as if Allah Deleted my that part of memory and the part i remember Allah makes me feelingless abt it so do recite this every second day n nite....

  4. how to make your question answers

  5. Brother Assalam Alaikum

    You disobeyed Allah for past 4 years! Not worried about your return to him??

    Allah test people sometime to make them understand their sins. But most of the times, devil will not let you think or reflect over sins, instead, he make you to think about the same old sin, he make you run behind that sin for long time (even after her marriage) and when he relaised your heart is dead and he may leave you and by then you will be wanting to have a good life but society wont let you because you exposed your immorality running behind all these for a long time.

    Hene, reflect over your sins, remember death and obey Allah. Remember one thing brother, you may think you will be enjoying youth time, and post that you will be repenting or whatsoever but Allah will question you, "HOW DID YOU SPENT YOUR YOUTH DAYS WHICH I GRANTED YOU?"

    Prepare an answer or tough luck brother.

  6. Asalaam alaikum brother.

    We are all human. Some of us are able to fight their emotions and persevere. And for other it's a challenge. It also depends on the severity of the situation. The best way to do this is to sincerely put your trust in Allah. Work on moving on and forgetting about her. You have to and Allah will heal your broken heart insha'Allah and bring you better insha'Allah. Be patient. I recently came across a beautiful post on instagram: Allah will wreck your plans once He Know's your plans will wreck you. Have some faith and be mindful of all the countless and beautiful blessings in life. As a matter of fact even take advantage of your pain. Take this chance to pray to Allah. For you are very close to Allah when your in pain. Allah Loves you and wants to bring you closer to him. I know it's the hardest thing to hear this when your broken but: see it as a blessing in disguise. If only you knew how many ways this is a blessing let alone the hidden Blessings that Allah Know's. Be strong, be happy and most importantly pray and read Quran. There are many duas also. You can search a video on YouTube that I personally love in times of hardship; by Belal Assad - The Mender (name of video)

    May Allah Guide you, May Allah Bless you, May Allah bring you ease and a way out of your broken heart. And May Allah help everyone else going through hardship. Ameen

  7. Brother salaam

    Speaking from past experience, trust me what has happened is the best thing for you. Cry all you want till you accept it is the right thing and get it all out of you. Tell yourself whatever happens always happens for the best and is always by Allah swts will therefore is the best.

    There is nothing better and more peaceful than a halal relationship, one where you know Allah swt has chosen your wife. Because then even if things go wrong, you have faith and hope which strengthen the relationship. Brother, I know the pain you speak of but this pain is self-inflicted and will pass just like the relationship though doesnt feel like it now. There is a certain confidence and happiness in a relationship where you know the one you are with is Allah swt's choice for you. You have a pride in that knowledge and when you start doing things together like she doing her salaat behind you, you awaken to the fact that you are on a journey together for success in deen, duniya and aakhirah.

    I gave four years of my life to a muslim bro who had lured me by promising marriage. But he kept indulging in physical relationships with every non muslim european women he met and I kept forgiving him until I realised I could not cry in pain anymore, I had no tears literally nor wait for him to change and engage in marriage. That I wanted to marry an honest muslim not one whos only muslim on birth certificate. And that I did not want to marry him at all, never ever!

    Alhamdhulillah. See how great Allah swt is. He saw my tears my sacrifices for four years for this lying cheating pathological player and opened my heart and eyes to the truth.

    I sadly began to despise the very man for whom I had cried and he fell very low in my eyes. I am thankful to Allah swt that very early in the relationship I had made it clear to him I would not engage in zina or any physical contact. I had thought he would respct me and hold back himself but some people see life differently. He was abusive and had thrown me after hitting me on numerous occassions at 2am or 3am.

    So take it from me. Cry cry cry. Then when you are done talk to Allah swt. Have a heart to heart. He is a great listener, will never let you down or betray you and always answers. But you will have to be patient and persevere. Dont worry you are not alone on this journey. There are many like us who had gone off-track. The only true relationship is this life is the one we have with Allah swt, always remember that.

    Sorry got bit carried away, very long reply.

  8. As a Muslim man, I think you are allowed to marry a non ,muslim women. And who knows, maybe she would of converted for you. If they are not legally married, I would say go after her and propose even if she is engaged. Forgive me if I am wrong, but if she is married then keep making dua to move on. This happened to my cousin. He was in love with a Jewish women but in Israel, the child automatically goes to the mom and not be Muslim so as hard as it was he is now married with kids. Patience is hard but......Inshallah by the grace of Allah it gets easy for you!

Leave a Response