Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Heartbroken again!

Asalamualaikum brothers and sisters. I was severely heartbroken in the past which had left me with extreme depression and I kept unwell too. Alhumdulilah by the grace of Allah (swt) I am well now but still depressed. It's been 4-5 years since my "boyfriend" left me & I thought my life was over basically when he decided not to marry me.

However, I went to Pakistan recently and miraculous I suddenly felt feelings for this man. I didn't go with any intentions of finding  a marriage partner etc or expecting to meet anybody. My family has been forcing me to look at rishtas for years and I've never liked anyone. So this was a total shock to me!

So long story short is that I don't know how but I think I've fallen in love with this man. He clearly liked me too. This time round I kept it very halal. I was never alone with him, we always had lots of people around us when we spoke to each other-mainly our mothers. We never exchanged contact details etc. His aunt & my mum are best friends.  His family was interested in asking for my rishta and hinted several times and my mum said no indirectly several times. I begged my mum to go forward with this potential rishta. After years of depression I finally felt happy and excited about something.

Basically I am from the UK and he's from America. He's Pathan and we're Punjabi. Which makes no difference to me and my family may even be able to overlook this but the main problem is that we are from two different sects of Islam. My dad & brother will never accept him etc.

Anyway now I am back home in the U.K. And totally demoralised. I have been doing dua that I marry the man I want. But my mother is going strong showing me every other rishta and is being totally unreasonable.

What do I do? Last few years I've been keeping my head down and repenting for my sins. I just thought I might have a chance at happiness. But my family won't  let me. They are very stubborn. Is there any advice anyone can give me or any duas I should read? I don't want  Marry anyone else because I won't emotionally be in the marriage. I have no one I can speak to or to help. Feel like I've gone back 5 years. How many times am I going to get my heartbroken? I'm already emotionally damaged.

Amy


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4 Responses »

  1. Salaam. We plan and Allah plans and indeed Allah is the best of Planners . There must be some good in this too I.e.. whether u marry him or not. So wait and see

  2. You keep patient and trust to ALLAH ,HE will indeed solve your solution IN SHALLAH ,you make dua that you forgot him and ask to ALLAH ,HE help you .pray 5 time a day and daily read QURAN with translation in this way you feel better ,and read many time SURAH WADUHA ,this is for stress ,sadness and anixty read with translation and ponder these verses and translation after thinked about these verses yoy feel better and feel out of stress IN SHALLAH ,I also read this surah for depression and anixty and i feel better i start reading for 16,17 days before almost and i have no vmburden on my mind some time i feel but not much so read this SURAH and pray fir me thanks

  3. My advice is that for you to come open about your relationship with him, you have got to be brave and open up, it might seem hard, i have been in that position but it's the only way. Take it from someone who have had experience. May you succeed.

  4. Indeed ALLAH swt is the best planner. Sister maybe its for the best we never know. Keep praying and In Sha ALLAH, ALLAH will make everything ok. This is like a test, buylt remember to never go back to the wrong path. You choose this islamic path so you will get tested, never ask ALLAH why me? always ask ALLAH just help me through this test

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