Heartbroken and abandoned after two abortions for him
I am in a relationship from 7 years at start he was very caring toward me and then things changed. he started avoiding me. we had physical relstionship he wanted to merry me but after 3 years he started avoiding me but still we meet and things were somehow better. after that i feel he was dating other girls but he always denied. i cry everytime and ask Allah to make him mine. but everything turns worst then. before one year i got pregnant - he chose to abort rather then marry me. i sacrifice my child for his love. he was some how kind with me after that but again he started avoiding me.and sometimes cal to meet him. before a month ago i had my second abortion. and he blocked my number after 2 days of abortion he is having another relationship and from a month my number is blocked. i really love him. i want to marry him. i am in extreme physical and emotional pain. is there any dua or wazifa which can make him mine? Allah is angry with me. i know what i did was haram but i did not wanted to kill my child. today i opened Quran and the first ayah which come in front of me was
Indeed lost are they who have killed their children, from folly, without knowledge (140)
Surah Al-an'am
I am crying from that time i did a great sin by killing my child but he is enjoying his life after leaving me in this pain. i love him want to marry him.
Anna k
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Asalaam alaikum. This was disturbing to read, your whole entire mindset and priorities are wrong. You have put this man above Allah with or without realising, you disobey Allah for a man you are putting him on a high level he didnt deserve such that you would do anything for him, he is using you for entertainment and for intercourse and gets you to abort children what exactly is so honourable in this mans character that you cant leave him? When you beg creation you become humiliated. You open an ayah in the Quran where Allah has warned you what you did was wrong and instead of repenting and leaving him (true repenting means leaving the sin you did not going back to it) you are going back for more. If he wanted to marry you he would have done it ages ago. He sounds like a terrible user and you need to really think about your life and stop before you make more of a mess of it. Im saying this to wake you up so you can make the changes you need. Leave this man, run if you have to, block him and make sincere repentance you killed children for this man, you need to fix your relationship with Allah and in the future Allah will in sha Allah find you someone who will be honourable enough to marry you. Please don't make more of a mess of things, this was all a test for you and you are not realising it, things will get worse with this man you have wasted too long on him. Get out quickly
SubhanAllah sister. This man sounds absolutely disgusting. Why would you want to marry him for???? He is using you for sex. You killed your children for his sake and still want to be with him??? You cry to Allah to make him yours???WHY would you want such a horrible disgusting person in your life for??? Please sister stop crying for him and be grateful he left you. Repent for your sins. You need to repent for your sins and stop communication with this guy. You want Allah to help you and you can't see that this guy is bad for you. You need to obey Allah not this guy, he is only using you.
Assalaamualaikam
Stop wasting time on this guy. This isn't love, it's an addiction to someone who is no good for you. He's shown no interest in a halal relationship so far, and there's no indication that he has changed - walk away and inshaAllah in time you will find a good man with whom you can be happy.
The two abortions you had cannot be undone, but what you can do is resolve that you will not end any more pregnancies just to keep a guy. You may find that it helps for you to speak to a specialist counsellor about your feelings around your pregnancies and abortions - if your doctor can't direct you to a local counsellor for this, you might want to check for online support groups.
Allah has promised us His Mercy if we turn to him with sincere repentance - make tawbah and ask Him to forgive you. Sometimes, when we do something wrong, it can help for us to contribute in some way to helping others who might find themselves in similar situations. So, you might want to think about donating some money or time to an Islamically appropriate charity working with vulnerable or pregnant women. You might also wish to consider donating to feed people in need, undertaking some voluntary work, and fasting.
Rather than spending your time prioritising this guy, prioritise your faith and yourself. We are only in this life for a short time and our purpose is to worship Allah. Make sure that you're praying, reading Qur'an, doing what you can to strengthen your deen, and strive to become closer to Allah. Look after yourself - make sure you're eating and sleeping enough and making time for things that bring you happiness, as this will help you rebuild your self-esteem and inshaAllah find happiness in time.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor