Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Help me follow the right path

Confused girl


I need help. I'm very young. I've done sins and I've tried to try again but I keep messing up. My mum thinks I'm acting weird and I will go back to my bad self. She doesn't believe in me and its also putting me down. Alot has happened and I need help. Please help.

I also started having dream about Muhammed Shakh al Yaqoobi. They were reading the Holy Quran infront me and that inspired me to be an Aalima but how can I acheive that when I sin?

My parents don't think I'll stick to Islam but they DON'T know about this. What shall I do??

Please help. I also have a problem that I was born with and my parents think I won't be able to do things on a daily basis i.e cook clean job, so HELP.


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11 Responses »

  1. This is what Dawud Beale wrote in reply to you on this post:

    Help786 I receievd your response via email bgut it hasnt shown up on the message board yet for some reason, but in response, jazak Allahu khair alhamdulillah I am very happy that you have benefitted from some of my posts. It is great that you are in love with Islam, I feel the same, and no matter what sins we commit we should always hold firm to taht love of Islam and always stay involved in the dawah and hang around with righteous people inshAllah and attend events and talks and do what we can for islam, it is so great on the scale of good deeds taht inshAllah it will overweigh our sins on the scales inshAllah. Also we must sincerely pour our heart out to Allah and repent so that our sins may be turned into good deeds inshAllah. Stay firm and try your best and slowly inshAlllah you will get stronger in your practice of Islam and never give up hope no matter how many sins you commit because Allah's name All merciful doesnt mean he will forgive everyone and that its ok to sin, it means that while me or you will have limited patience and after being asked a certain amount of times we will say no, with Allah, it doesnt matter how many times you sin, if you repent ALlah never says "you have committed to many sins now and repentence is closed for you" but its very important to perform tawbah inshallah and learn how to perform it properly and what its conditions are etc, I did a quick search on well known shaikhs and found a lecture on tawbah taht may benefit you inshallah: I havent heard it myself so cant say for sure if it contains everything you need to know but hopefully it will inshallah. I recommend to sit with a pen and paper and listen and write down all the key points so you can keep a small collection of points with you to remind you on tawbah inshAllah. Seeking knowledge is very important, try to attend circles and lectures if you can inshAllah.

    Sorry to hear your family is not being understanding, I think we have some major problems in the muslim community at the moment and especially the youth who are raised in western countries where our will power is destroyed and we are bombarded with things to make our desires get too strong, its very difficult to avoid some sins living here and now its sadly reached the muslim lands too. The elder generation sadly do not understand the problems and are not aware of the drastic situation facing the youth. Many of them are not bothered, that is why I am happy you are concerned with your sins and care about and love islam and that is why you give me hope and I believe it to be important that people think this way even if they are struggling with some sins.

    In Islam we must hide our sins and your family may not understand so best to hide your sins, show your parents you are serious about islam by reading boks, attending circles and being with religious friends, attend religious activities and events inshAllah, whatever your sins are, hide them from everyone else so that only you and Allah know, and then slowly work on decreasing your sins and increasing your good deeds and repent from the sins inshAllah. Depending on the nature of the sins there are many good online articles detailing how to try and avoid them. If you post an anonymous post enquiring about how to avoid certain types of sins I will try and find the articles that will help you to battle them inshAllah as there are some tactics to use that will decrease those sins. Same goes to anyone else, if you need help battling some sins, post an annoymous post and inshALlah we will try to help each other and deal with each other with mercy and kindness and pray for each other without judging each other as Allah will judge us, we are brothers and sisters and only want good for each otehr inshAllah and feel each others pain and difficulties and should be understanding of each otehrs problems, especially those who are sincere believers who love Islam, how great and valuable search a heart is, regardless of the sins committed, a heart that loves islam is surely a great and pure heart.

    a few hadeeths id like to share:

    Narated By Anas : A man asked the Prophet about the Hour (i.e. Day of Judgment) saying, "When will the Hour be?" The Prophet said, "What have you prepared for it?" The man said, "Nothing, except that I love Allah and His Apostle." The Prophet said, "You will be with those whom you love." We had never been so glad as we were on hearing that saying of the Prophet (i.e., "You will be with those whom you love.") Therefore, I love the Prophet, Abu Bakr and 'Umar, and I hope that I will be with them because of my love for them though my deeds are not similar to theirs.


    ►Bukhari Volume 005, Book 057, Hadith Number 037.

    secondly, in the shariah law, if you are publicly caught drinking, you will receive lashes. while this is difficult for the heart, the idea of lashing, when you see the disasterour state of western society due to alchol, you know that in reality it is a law of compassion on society because alcohol is a grave sin that causes much corruption. yet how must our hearts be towards though who PUBLICLY drink alchohol (if you sin privately and hide your sin there is no punishment as noone knew about your sin and you kept yourself from harming of effecting anyone else so the sin is between you and Allah). Here is an important hadeeth on this issue, in this case the man was even REPEATEDLY FOUND DRUNK:

    Narrated 'Umar bin Al-Khattab: During the lifetime of the Prophet there was a man called 'Abdullah whose nickname was Donkey, and he used to make Allah's Apostle laugh. The Prophet lashed him because of drinking (alcohol). And one-day he was brought to the Prophet on the same charge and was lashed. On that, a man among the people said, "O Allah, curse him ! How frequently he has been brought (to the Prophet on such a charge)!" The Prophet said, "Do not curse him, for by Allah, I know for he loves Allah and His Apostle."

    ► Volume 8, Book 81, Number 771:(Sahih Bukhari)

    so its very important to understand the great difference between a sincere person who is struggling with some sins and an evil corrupt person who has no care for his lord or religion.

    Here is also the link to a good article on a particular type of sin that is common amongst muslims today. Its a slightly uncomfortable subject to discuss so I will just leave an article because no subject must be ignored because of discomfort, especially when its affecting so many muslims now. its the issue of pornography. Our minds are bombarded with sex from ayoung age and our will power has been destroyed, many sincere and righteous muslims are struggling with pornography addictions now that the intrenet has ben unleashed on the world with no concern for moderation or sensorship of harmful things. when your desires can be so easily fulfilled its incredibly hard not to, when every where you look are naked women now. so here ius a nice article on how to deal with pornography addictions to anyone who may benefit inshAllah. its a very practical article with tips on how to battle it:

    Hope it benefits everyone inshAllah

    I apologise for anything wrong ive said and all errors are mine and shaytaans, anything good was from Allah. Wallahu a'lam

    ~ Dawud Beale

    • Salaamalaikum

      Ok thanks for all the advice

      But if u have a phisical problem and ur parents negative comments PUT U DOWN

      give u depression but u luv ur parents u cant say nuffin and Having dreams about Shaykh
      Muhammed al Yaqoobi was the MASSIVE MASSIVE Wake up call sorry for any disrespect i appreciate
      ur advice but Shaykh Yaqoobi is the Granson of our beloved Prophet SAW PEACE AND BLESSING BE UPON HIM i had a dream about them I CANNOT AVOID THAT NO MATTER WHAT
      and wen u are finding tasks difficult a people hammer in your head Ur life is gunna fail yes they say it because they care but hammering it everyday is depressing i cant stop crying and u start to believe it u question urself Will i be a Aalima???

      Will people luv me for who i am and ignore physical problem
      i dont do i today i struggle tommorow i might die
      i WILL NEVER GIVE UP i finding R EALY REALY HARD to copr i need people 2 help me
      by staying by my side i know people are worse than me and i thank Allah that i can walk talk eat drink
      Sister Z and Brother Dawud Beale
      I hipe to hear from u very soon
      Insha Allah REPLY X

      • Dear young sister,

        Of course, its not at all nice to be put down by anyone, especially not by your own parents. Sometimes though the people we consider the nearest and dearest to us end up making us feel the worst and that can be very painful. When you say your parents put you down, what do they say to you? Do you think they are worried that you may fall into whatever happened before and so end up saying hurtful things out fear? And how do you behave towards them? Have you tried to reassure them that you are striving to be a better person now and about your dream to become an Aalima?

        No physical ailment should stop you from becoming an Aalima, Sister. So what have you done about making this dream of yours coming true? Do you get help for the physical ailment that you have? Are you currently studying at school?

        With regards to your dreams, I dont think you should give them much thought. Only Allah knows the unseen, so there is no point in trying to interpret dreams - especially since we are laypeople.

        SisterZ Editor

        • Salaam Sister Z

          My parents just think i'm gnna struggle and their not going to be their to help especially like wen u get married.
          Ok b4 this started my relation between my mum was a bit rusty but it wasnt tht bad cuz
          i still respected them and luvd em and now it gettin better and better Masha Allah

          About my dream its not abt me bein a Aalima i decided that afta i had the dream
          i guess ur right only Allah knows the unseen but i was'nt expecting to have a dream abt them. i dont give it much thought now But my dream is to Be a Aalima and a Lawyer. I just need support and i am very scared that i might fail or maybe it just i've got it hammered in my head of course this phisical problem shud nt affect me but im gettin it hammered it on my head everyday

          they say stuff like ur lifes gnna be difficult i wish Allah made u normally
          ur uncapable of doin everything ur too slow wen we were young we cud do this that
          ur a waste of space etc....
          Yes i do study my education is very important to me. I dont get that much help cuz i can walk im quite independant at school but they are there 4 me if i need them

          Thankyouu so much Sister Z i hope to keep getting ur advice its much appreciated
          Im sorry 4 my errors or if i hve disrespected u in any way

          Help786 X - reply

          • My dear little Sister,

            You havent disrespected me at all or offended me. If my reply to you is delayed, its only because I'm at work or busy with something else. I am here for you as long as Allah wills and I want to help you as much as I can insha'Allah :O).

            Whatever your physical condition is, it is not nice at all to put you down. Every creation of Allah is created in perfection, including every disability. Do you feel ok to tell me what your physical ailment is and which country you live in, this may help us to understand your situation better. If you do not feel comfortable, that is ok.

            Have you heard of Helen Keller? She became deaf and blind at the age of only 19 months. But she was such a fighter - she was the first deaf and blind person to obtain a Bachelor's degree, she was a successful author and lecturer and also campaigned for women's and worker's rights. I am sure she had a very supportive family. But the point is that it is possible to achieve despite having less senses or being less physically able.

            With regards to your dream of wanting to become an Aalima and Lawyer, this is great. It is always healthy to have aspirations. If you never try, you will never have chance to become an Aalima or a Lawyer. But if you try, atleast you will give yourself the chance you deserve. And sis, if we were all scared of failure, we'd never do anything. The point is that you try to do a good thing with a sincere intention and then whatever happens after that is up to Allah. So then it doesnt matter if you fail, big deal :O).

            What are you currently studying?


          • I'll hve to email u sorry x i'll send it in a moment sorry if i've caused any trouble
            Help 786 x

          • Sis,

            You havent caused any trouble and you have nothing to apologise to me for. I'll email you insha'Allah :O)


      • Salaamalaikum

        I cannot post this properly cuz i've forgot my username
        But i need advice URGENTLY
        Basically i needed sum islamic advice this was in 2009 so i asked my uncle hes very islamic and has a lot of knowledge about Islam
        but his advice didbt reli make no diffrence so he added his friend to the conversation and i know its wrong but it wasnt that bad - well it is but not how i experienced it but say if anyone replies 2 this im not gnna know u reli am i ?
        But the reason he added him 2 the conversation was becuz he was a Khalifah and if ib honest he did help in sum aspects we just talked about Islam and ISLAM ONLY and after a few months my younger cousin spotted me talkin 2 him and told my family and i did'nt contact him after that so its been 3 years and my uncle told me 2 frgt him but i still havent. And now its been 2 or 3 weeks i've been having dreams about him that he needs 2 talk 2 me and it the same dream all the time.
        And i dont know why ?
        but what can i do 2 stop theese dreams ? Apart from forget that person ?

        I look forward 2 ur reply
        Help 786

        • Sister,

          If you have forgotten your log in, please make another one and then submit your post separately.


  2. Sister, may A l l a a h give you good understanding of the deen.

    the prophet[saww] said "whomsoever A l l a a h wants good for, he gives him comprehension of the religion"

    But be carefull of Muhammad Ya'qoubi al-Hasani, the syrian man with an orange beard, the decendant of al-Hasan [ may A l l a a h be pleased with him].

    Please keep away from him and his beliefs.
    he believes that A l l a a h and his messneger have united and fused somehow [iyathanbillah].
    He says A l l a a h and his beloved have united
    This is outright herasy and shirk and as deep intokufr as one can go.
    This is something which takes a person outside of islam.
    It is better to sin than to learn islam from Muhammad Ya'qoubi.

    The doors of repentance only close at 3 times.
    1 when the sun rises from the west
    2 when the beast who will give people tidings appears
    3 when the soul reaches the throat [at death].

    when you ask A l l a a h to fogive you, dont think to yourself "Allaah has not forgiven me"

    this will nulify the forgiveness

    and dont say "oh Allah forgive me if you will"
    have resolve on A l l a a h whilst knowing no one can force him to do anything.s.w.t

    I hope A l l a a h quenches your thurst for knowledge.
    Remember to avoid al-Ya'qoubi.

  3. If am not mistaken,This question and the one following it are been answered a while ago.

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