Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Help me please please


i reallly love a guy and he really loves me alot and we both cant live without each other my sisters also know about him and me but i know my parents will never agree for me to marry to him beacause he is out of family and his cast is different but both of us are muslims. he said to me he can wait for me as long as needed and i can wait for him aswell. but before everything i told him my parents come before everything for me and he understood me. but we both are madly in love that we want to get married to each other only and no one else ever. i only want to get married to him no one else now what should i do to help the situation i am stuck in?


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3 Responses »

  1. 1.) Please do not talk to him. Socializing with non-mahrams without purpose is haram. You can see how you both have fallen in love and this is why men and women socializing is haram in the first place. There is a hadith where Rasoolullah (salallahu alayhi wasallam) says that when a man and woman are alone together, the third party is shaytan. Allah forbids us to follow any path that leads to zina. When you look at the steps people took when they commited this crime, it always starts with them talking to each other. This is how shaytan tricks people. He tells you its okay to chat because it's harmless, then he says it's okay to go hang out with him, then he says it's okay to be alone with him and then I am sure you know what shaytan says next.

    This is how shaytan tricks people who initially never had any intention of commiting sin. This is why Allah forbids us from anything that leads to zina, including chatting with the opposite gender.

    2.) If you think that your father will not agree to your marriage to him because of caste, then do you think you can try gently explaining to him that racism and nationalism is forbidden in Islam? If your father refuses to let you marry him just because of his caste then you can have your grandfather act as your wali. Just try explaining to your father how this is not a legitimate reason to reject a suitor.

    "If her wali prevents her from marrying the person she wants with no shar’i reason for doing so, the guardianship passes to someone who is fit to be a wali, so it may pass from her father to her grandfather, for example.

    If all her guardians prevent her for no shar’i reason, then the (Muslim) ruler will be her wali, because of the hadeeth, “…If she does not have a wali, then the (Muslim) ruler is the wali of anyone who does not have a wali.” The “ruler” here means the judge who rules according to sharee’ah.

    The wali does not have the right to prevent a woman from marrying on the basis of his own whims and with no shar’i reason."

    3.) If end up having someone other than your father acting as your wali and they reject him for a legitimate reason, you should stop thinking about him all together.

    May Allah grant you a righteous husband.


  3. Salaam sister
    Ok if you both have decided to marry each other then let both of your parents know. Dont keep talking to each other and wait long because its haram. If either of you are currently not ready then you should stop the conversation. saytan is in the middle and he will push you to proceed haram due to your feeling. Let your family know right away and let them figure the next plan. It is important for mahram to be involve in here. Tell your parents you like him and that he seem to be a comparable for you. I know you seem to know what your parents will say because he is not within the family and they might reject him but still you dont have any option. If they follow islamic way then they shouldnt object him. Its not neccessary to be married within family. As long he is a muslim brother and he can take care of you then they should be ok. Dont lets them say no. First tell them about him and how he is and tell them its haram to judge anyone. So advice your parents to pray and do isthekara and allah should help them see clear. Also you do isthekara.

    Hope this helps
    Good luck!

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