Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Please help me save my soul

boyfriend girlfriend haraam


I've been in a relationship with a boy for 2 years, we both are virgin and haven't commited zina. And we both pray and we both dont have much knowledge but avoid major sins. As I read a post I know now that according to hadith and scholar touching staring hugging or kissing is also zina.

I am in very much in love with him and he is as well, and want to marry him. But we haven't reached an age to get married(we are just 19)and I dont know what to do. I'm lost, confused, dont have a track, in anxiety. I repent then I see him hug him.

Please help, I dont have the courage to breakup with him. I pray to ALLAH(SWT) that I get married to him and to get married soon as this is not right and keep me in the right path.

Please tell me what to do so that I can save myself and my soul. Hoping for ur answer.


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3 Responses »

  1. Emma, Walaykumsalaam,

    Alhumdulillah, you are concerned about your soul. But you have a boyfriend and are worried as you are committing sins. You are also confident that what you are doing with your boyfriend, does not constitute 'major sins'. You say you have tried to stop since you read that 'scholars and hadith' say that 'touching, staring, hugging, and kissing is also zina'. This is true, yet more importantly, Allah(swt) has forbidden these things, as He(swt) says in Surah Al Isra, Verse 32: "And come not NEAR to unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a faahishah (a great sin) and an evil way."

    If you 'think' this man is marriage material, then progress marriage talks with your families. Why do you think you are too young? If you are old enough to have intimate feelings and relations with a man, then you are definitely not to young for marriage. In fact this is the time for you to get married if you meet the right man. Furthermore, marriage at a your age is highly recommended and encouraged in Islam.


    Sister - this situation does not need to be a 'situation'. Its very simple - progress marriage talks with your families openly, stop hiding things, thereby creating secrets and fitnah. And if 'you' don't want to get married for whatever reason, that is your choice, but your haraam relationship will only lead to fitnah.

    Please read all parts 1, 2 and 3 of the following article, as you need something to wake you up. It may be an idea to get your boyfriend to read the same.

    SisterZ Editor

    please dont go in wrong ( haram) way, there is no love before marriage, these things are just attraction nothing else. These things are made by television just for entertainment and you people are involving in this senseless and useless things. If you like some one then just tell your parents and do nikah, thats it.
    khuda hafiz

  3. @emma u said that "But we haven't reached an age to get married(we are just 19)"

    you are not too young to get married. ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas got married when he was 11 years old, and he had a child. Hence it was said that that there was only thirteen years between him and his son ‘Abd-Allaah.

    Decide well , do istikhara, see if you really want to marry him, if you want to marry him then do it soon so as to avoid yourself to fall into a haraam relationship/fall into the traps of the shaitan.

    May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

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