Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Help me

I met this boy in college we became good friends he tried his best to change my mind but two years later I gave in and we got into a relationship. we promised each other marriage. I was with him for 4 half years. our parents didn't agree.

I was under black magic first. soon as I recovered someone did black magic on him and his mother never agreed nor did my father but I know I could have convinced them. He said we never got along but we couldn't because I was too giving and he was used to taking.

But He did pray 5 times a day despite all the wrongs he did. I forgive and forgot all his mistakes. he always went out late night clubbing, lied constantly didn't know if he did wrong stuff with women I don't know I assumed he did but he always said he's got me in his head. but we always argued argued argued.

I used to turn up at his work place, I became a psycho, he made me like this because I just wanted him and things to be okay  This was when we argued so i could resolve the issue not because I wanted to argue more. But he made it a regular. he started blocking me ignoring me a lot more id text him he'd ignore me but he'd upload on other social media so argument started. I'd call him like mad like 100 times text like mad no reply. He'd do it on purpose say il show you how it feels I'm ignoring you on purpose. I'd do this so he understands my pain and listens but he got bored he thought let her be. after an argument he'd always blame me say your like this etc etc

We would get into a really bad argument, when I'd cry he'd say your doing dramas. he used to throw me out of his car, push me around, Hit me, swear at my parents, did everything to hurt me. he always told me to go away but I stayed and begged to stay because I was majboor because we had a physical relationship. he made me believe he was my husband and pressured me in and said I'm going to be with you no matter what. But once we got physical everything went down hill he didn't care about me he didn't have that passion for me. but I still said sorry after everything and apologised because I was scared to lose him becaus of my respect which I lost with him I know I did zina but i did it because I thought he will be my husband I was fooled by feelings and words of his he said he had clean intentions but now he blocked me and said your a nice girl but your not for me 🙁

I always apologised and I said it's my fault when it wasn't but I said it was me. he'd mentally bully me saying your brothers are begerath etc etc knowing I'm sleeping with their sister they can't do anything. I'd cry cry and still say I'm sorry and we'd be okay again, he'd say he's sorry but he'd do it again.

I was concerned about my izath & I stuck by him when he was sad or happy I did everything to be with him I did scream shout when he blocked me ignored me. I wouldn't sleep all night if we argued the night before I cried he would purposely ignore me all the time but I still forgiven him, he pointed out my flaws said I was a psycho for turning up but my intention was to make things right. I did scream shout turn up cry I'm not gona lie I was very upset he made me into the girl I am today.

I was fooled because he bought me closer to my deen at first thats why I thought he's a blessing. my family always said he will use you and say bye to you. I didn't listen but still carried on now for the sake of my respect because I had been doing wrong .

i lost everything him, my family,degree everything the night before we argued we spoke about marriage how to convince our parents when we loved we loved I always thought he will be my husband. He stopped sharing his feelings he became very cold towards me his mothers words were il never accept her you leave me or be with her. but I always had the intention to be a gd woman and love his mum so much give her all the sakoon and make her feel at ease knowing she has a daughter & will never regret me I knew I could win her heart he always said il never find someone like you and you will melt my mother with kindness I can't wait to make you my wife. because of the personality I have I care for everybody at work patients used to bring me gifts to say thank you I'd help random ppl on the street I just love helping everybody and I will continue to be like this but I'm very caring which makes me emotional I do anything for anybody but the constant bickering between us caused the distant now I want to speak to him he doesn't want to know me at all I pray I pray but I know he will never come back.😭

Can't help but cry I know what the reality is but I can't accept it because I gave him too much believe he will marry me I wasn't stupid when I first met him always related everything to deen then one day things got out of hand and he convinced me into zina when I said stop he got angry but convinced me he'd love me for ever.

I duno who to go to who to contact I know black magic has ruined it and then the arguments his mum not agreeing forcing him to leave me. he was very confused but I was never a bad girl. I become bad I did but my intentions were clean I know how he doesn't want to hurt his mum but I'd never hurt her. I just want to be the perfect daughter who keeps the house together. I'm so stressed I haven't sleep or ate or drank for weeks months no contact what so ever I don't know what to do who to call he has blocked me completely and wants nothing to do with me. He laughed at my helplessness he just said your a gd girl but not for me. But I stuck by him because of my respect. I'm so weak iv tried killing myslf on so many occasions because that's how he's made me become I feel neglected I pray but I feel like a kafir for having such thoughts and comiting the sin.

I ruined my degree because I was always fighting with him around exam time we argued a lot when I had exams or anything that I did to make myslf succeed

But I don't know how to speak to him and explain to him it's black magic please don't leave me have trust in me is there anything I can do to make it work. Because my intentions were clean😭

 

Can you you help me with a wazifa to bring him back or will he never come back I know it is for the best but I want it to work I really do. I will prove myslf and be the best daughter ever.

I also did istikhara several times iv always got positive signs for us. All the time.

I need him to understand and my pain and feel me suffering. I'm mentally destroyed please help me please help me this is my plea to all please help me I've lost my mind.

missl

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3 Responses »

  1. It is sad to read what went in your life.you committed a sin knowingly and what happens after that is what you are facing now.he just used you and then manipulated you.he made you feel guilty in all this although he was in this altogether.all the talk about following your deen was just a drama to lure you into sex,which is what he got and now he has no more use for you.all the things that you have written about him makes me believe that he is a narcissist.hecis not worth a person spending a life with.
    Your family was right when they said that he will just use you and then say bye bye.now you see that the same is happening.he has been abusive with you which means that he does not have concern with you any more.he wants to get rid of you.WAKE UP GIRL.where is your dignity and respect?stop running after him.cant you see that he does not want you in his life any more.he has blocked you,has been abusive towards your family.you deserve better person than him.
    As far as the sin you have committed of doing black magic,i would say ask for Allah's forgiveness and promise yourself that you will not indulge in such activities again.black magic only brings disaster.
    I would advise you to ask forgiveness from Allah regarding zina and black magic.say to Him that you will not do it again.stay in wuzu always.start reciting ayat karima,"La illaha illa anta subhanaka inni kuntu min az zalimeen".keep reciting it and in sha Allah,Allah will do what is best for you.if that man has been destined to you by Allah,nothing can stop him from coming to you.As for now ,complete your degree.concentrate on it.leave the rest to Allah.
    Be patient.throw your matters into Allah's hand and all will be best for you.

  2. Salam sister 🙂

    I read your message for help, and I myself went through a relationship like this but he was my fiancé and things went down hill every day.

    Family decided to break us up and I was upset at first but I started to pray my salahs and make Dua.

    I did the Dua for Allah to help me get through it and to become stronger. Never to get back with him.

    I understand he has damaged you a lot but I have a friend who was with someone for 9 years and they ended it because of this kid of behaviour from the guy. She is happier now and not in need of him.

    Right now you feel alone and sad but this is the whole process of moving on. Why don't you do something for yourself? Keep yourself busy. Speak to friends and pray as much as you can. Surrender to Allah and I promise you he will fix things.

    Remember that all is done in good time and by the will of Allah. If Allah wants this to work he will make it work but if He does not then there is a hidden reason. Pray to Allah and say Alhamdulillah. When you feel pain say Alhamdulillah and the pain will go straight away.

    Read Syrah Duha, it is the best. Do nafals, do tahhajud. But do not do it to win him back do it to get closer to Allah and once you do that you will find your way and become calmer.

    He clearly does not see your love. Why chase a love that does not want to stay? Let him go and if he is a good person he will realise soon enough and come back. But do not wait. If you get any more guys who come for your hand then consider it and stay away from haram.

    Haram relationships do not have blessings. Make everything in your life Halal and Allah will help you in every step.

    Read itighfar, say 'astaghfitullah' as many times a day as possible and mean it from your heart. Light will come your way my sister and love too ❤️

  3. no problem sister.

    pray 5 times a day, OK.

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