Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Help!! My parents’ marriage is in trouble!!

Assalamuaikum!

My dad has two wives but he had spent all his life with my mother. It was a love marriage. He has 6 children. it was in 2011 when my mother started to notice my father's odd behaviors like lack of interest in his home, gradually distancing himself from us, fighting my mother, criticizing her saying that she don't understand anything.

That was when my mother started to suspect my father that maybe he was involved with someone, so she started to look into his phone, his facebook, his banks, and everything (I know that it is wrong). she found WhatsApp conversation between my father and that woman along with many other saved on his hard drive, I don't know what was written on it as my mother never let me read it. From that point, my mother started to get depressed and couldn't stay with my father because at the time she was aware that he was cheating on her. And the worst part is that woman was already married and had a son but she was already involved with my father and a doctor.

At first, my mother did nothing. She kept quiet about this then she started to ask advice from her friends and sisters. She wanted someone to help her, we told her not to tell anyone about this and I told her that she should try to ask help from Allah because He can help us. Because of my mother telling her sisters, now everyone knows about this. He lost his reputation. I know the way my mother handled this situation was not good but she tried everything she could, she tried to take him to an authentic shake, to know whether this was happening to him because of black magic, which turned not. she recited Surahs and made duas' for him.  But still, he didn't leave her. the worst part is, with the help of my father she took divorce from her husband and married my father. he didn't tell us, but my mother again suspected that maybe he was married to her, which turned out to be true. My mother found out that woman was involved with other men and she was living from their money, she told everything to my father about that disgusting woman, so that my father could see what kind of woman he was involved with. My mother told him to divorce that woman and he did in front of 10 people but he never told that woman that he divorces her.

After that my father promised my mother that he would try to leave her, he even took oath on Quran and he is hafiz Quran!! He kept on promising my mother that he left her and everything and even I started to believed him but my mother still remains suspicious of him. Now my mother can't live with him because everything time he promises her, he alway breaks it. Even we, his children tried to talk some sense to him but still, he never left her.

And till now he is still involved with her. This year on their wedding anniversary, my parent had a fight and my father told her that he was still involved with her.When my mother threatened him that she would show divorce paper to that woman and my father told her that he doesn't care because he only signed/said once, there were still 2 times left. And now my mother is asking for a divorce because she can't live with him anymore.

For few days, they ignored each other, both slept in different rooms. When they did talk to each other, they started to fight. usually, whenever they fought, I had my sibling and we would unconsciously support each other. but due to them studying in different countries, I was alone with them. I got so fed up with that, and I started to cry, I told them to at least try to talk to each other, try to understand each other, try to live like they used to do at when they first got married, I asked them How will they answer Allah when He will ask them about this. I asked my mother to give one last chance to my father, see if he still can leave his bad habit. They both promise that they would try, but my mother is so sure that he will again break this promise.

I Don't know what to do! I want them to live together. Even I know that it is not possible to live like they used to do before. My father is 60+ and this is not an age where he should be doing something like this. Ever since he got involved with that woman his health, his reputation, his relationship at home and financially, everything had been destroyed. Gradually, he got so weak, now he has many ailments. Everyone knows about his relationship with that woman.  He is so stubborn and he is so sure that, that woman can become a good Muslima. My mother is so fed up with his lie and his habit of breaking promises. I really want to help both of them and I really love my dad because he is the best father anyone should ask for, but a bad husband, unfortunately, I don't know how! What should I do? Please help!!

-ledathi

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1 Responses »

  1. Loving your father and being his daughter will need change the fact how he treats his wives...Islam is strict on how we should maintain both wives if one can afford it...His faith in trouble....shaitan has filled his heart with duniya that he doesn't even know that Allah will take account of his actions when his time is up...You must warn him that this life is only a test...Salah quran good character and love for prophet will be the only success

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