Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Help please!!! My husband wants to divorce me

Asalaamalikum ,

I would like an answer to my questions if possible, I got married in 2017 and a few months later my husband found out that I was with another man before marriage 8 years ago, he then has been saying to me he don’t want to be with me and wants a devorice. Iv begged him a thousand times Iv told him it was a mistake I made when I was younger and it’ll never ever happen again. Iv told him I’v asked for forgiveness from god and it was a mistake that shouldn’t have happend. But he kept threatening me again and again that he will tell everyone, I got very depressed at this time, so I took some tablets to end my life. My mother in law found me knocked out and took me hospital. He won’t forgive me and has told all my family and his family about this situation. Everyone told me to just give him some time and that I should stay at my mums house for a while, it’s been over 4 months now and my husband hasn’t seen me or spoken a word to me, I really did make a mistake when I was younger and I really don’t want my marriage to end. What can I do? Or what is the best possible solution to this situation? Help me I’m still very depressed and not in a good place in my mind.


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6 Responses »

  1. Salaam,

    This post just makes me boil with anger. How does something that has happened to you in the past 8 years ago before you met your husband make him act like this?Waalahi speaking as a man, we men tend to have huge egos. He probably wanted you to be "Pure" and he wanted to be the first guy you ever met or liked. We all have pasts and I can guarantee you he has had a bad past as well. I find it very despicable that he did not care when you tried to attempt suicide and went to the hospital. Instead he does the latter and tells everyone your secret which was only between you and him!

    Why bother being with a "Man' that has his ego hurt so much and doesn't care about you even when you almost died. Especially over something before he even knew you. He is probably assuming things after he found out and just creating a deeper hole for himself. Sister, why do you want to be in the same hole as him? You have explained that it was a mistake and you made repentance. If he doesn't see that, then I suggest you part ways and separate if he doesn't come back to you after some time. And even if he accepts you back, he is probably going to use that against you and bring it up again in arguments.

    YOU have no reason to blame this on yourself but you should be stronger and not attempt to hurt yourself like that again. YOU are a creation of ALLAH so please don't destroy something HE has blessed and given a life to. Stay strong sister and I pray that Allah eases the suffering you are going through because of this foolish man.

    Your Brother In Islam.

  2. Walikum Assalaam WrWb,

    Sister, Firstly be hold of yourself and be strong. I know its not that easy but yes you really need to control on yourself. Whatever you did in the past, thats your mistake, you realized and you mentioned you already did repentance to Allah.
    Your husband is doing this out of anger and definitely, he has the complete right over you in this point to feel like this.
    You may have told everything to your husband as well after this. But again I would say dont lose hope, make dua to Allah swt always.
    Tell your husband that your love for him can't be comparable, the guy before him was a idiot, physco and yeah he was I am sure was not a good one for you.. thats why Allah choose your husband for you.
    And yeah you have to do this every day..
    Slowly and gradually, wish your husband, send him love always, pray for him, do good with his family.

    In sha Allah you'll get him again very soon

    Syed,,,
    Pray for me too.
    Jazak Allah

    • Salaam alaikum sister Nikki

      May Allah SWT ease your difficulties and grant you a real man with true Islamic character and ethics. Someone who will love you and respect you as a woman not worse than an animal.

      I completely agree with brother Sohrab Hussain- May Allah grant him happiness, peace, forgiveness and guidance. We need more men like you. The best of men are the best to their womenfolk. You repented sincerely and I suspect you will repent forever. Allah the Most High, Malikul Mulki Zuljaali Wal ikraami is most Compassionate. I pray that He will forgive you and grant you jannatul ferdous but before that may Allah grant you the best man you could have ever asked for.

      I am shocked at brother Syeds advice. Seriously brother no man should treat any woman least of all his wife that way! No he does NOT have the right to belittle her. Anger and upset is fine but not humiliation......for goodness sake even though she repented sincerely he still broke their marital vows to protect her privacy and cover her sins by exposing her sins to EVERYONE. What a sour person. Disgusting. That is how these men are. They consider themselves too high and mighty above everyone. May Allah give him all that he deserves. Driving someone to insanity to commit the worst crime against herself...suicide Astagfirullah. Brother Syed you need to rethink your views on women. I have seen men hold out and over women for this type of thing until he has used and abused her then divorce her at an old age when no one wants her THEN that dog goes to get married to pretty 18 yr old.

      May Allah do justice with him. Your chastity is with Allah. You have repented and continue to repent sister. Men like that are not reliable. Pray to Allah for whatever you want. Don't wait for him too long. Give yourself a time limit maybe 3 month? Then move on. Find a good man. He doesn't deserve an honest woman. Maybe he will get a woman who treats him the same.

      Brother Sohrab Hussain- May Allah grant you happiness, peace, forgiveness and guidance. Ameen

  3. sister i dont think he'll ever forgive u its not yor fault its his.the more harder u try the more he will use that as a excuse.best thing honestly u need to stop trying to hard to correct things.if u wamt him bak then u need to forget about him and get on with yor life.when he sees yor moving on and having fun it will effect him that u not sad anymore.his being like this because he knows yor the one who wants him and hes gonna play hard ball.i promise u he will change wen he sees yor moving on.i feel yor pain sister belive me im going through similar situation and i know how tireing it is wen yor trying so hard to fix it but aint going nowere.and ending yor life isnt a gud idea because yor not escaping it yor just putting yorself in the hellfire so please dont try it again.if u feel down again talk to sumone it helps yorsrlf feel better and know wot to do.if u do feel down then just ask to talk i will help u in every way i can.yor not alone sister there are genuine brothers or sisters that will help.so please dont ever try and kill yorself.i promise i will help which ever way i can

    • MashaAllah brother May Allah reward you for your efforts. If you both understand each other from being in a similar position it will be so much easier to support each other.

      Perhaps if Allah wills it ....... there's khair in what Allah does for His believers. Allahu Aalim

  4. He should accept you for you are right now. I can't believe he is making a huge deal and telling his whole family. Before marriage did you guys discuss if you ever had past relationships?

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