Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Help regarding making a decision to get married

Topic Images_Wedding Rings_YEdgR2s

We have been engaged for almost a year and as soon as we started preparing for a wedding and nikaah, my fiancé got retrenched. this had caused numerous arguments between us and causing frustration. we got engaged when he was not working and found a job 5 months thereafter.

I find that everytime we try to move forward, we take a hundred steps back. we do not now whether we should go ahead and make nikaah without him having a job, or should we wait till he finds one. I can only cover 3 months rent (I have already been paying rent for a flat we were furnishing). I am the one with a qualification and he doesn't have any. Family is getting frustrated with us.

We have encountered many issues throughout the year being engaged (he's quite temperamental, his words were nasty)but he is saying he's trying to change but he is also saying these days I have adopted a bitter attitude towards him. I try to motivate him in the only way I know how (I can't expect to motivate him as if he is a baby).

When I went to an aalim he said that both my sister in law and his sister in law did something to us so everytime we come near to our goal, it doesn't transpire. I am depressed which is causing me to lash out, cannot concentrate at my workplace and completely stressed.

Is Allah SWT telling us we shouldn't get married (we also went through in law issues where his mum was trying to control everything, we even argued about that) or is this Shaytaan at his best. Please tell me what to do and how to move forward.

When I read istikarah, I dreamt he was using his mother's broom, wasn't sweeping with it, but showing me . I can't interpret it, but does that mean we going to be poor, or his mother will not interfere in our lives, or will interfere. He always says she is not the type.

Please help, don't know how to move forward and we both depressed, we both want to make nikaah but without a job, he also has concerns

anisamahomed

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1 Responses »

  1. I'm sorry you are going through this
    I'm going to be frank with you.

    If your fiancée is being rude to you now
    How's he going to treat you after marriage?

    If his sister in law is being troublesome now
    How will she be after marriage?

    And if your fiancée is b/w jobs now and
    Depending on you
    How will he be after marriage?

    Never mind Istaqarra
    Your answer is in front of you.

    I'm not trying to hurt your feelings
    But I have to tell you what I see.
    The rest is up to you

    Just do this
    Take special birth control that (after marriage )
    Will keep you away from pregnancy for some years

    If your man gets better
    Have a family

    If not
    Then you must leave him for a responsible person

    The use of birth control will protect you from burden (physical /mental ) of dealing with children

    Good luck
    Salamalekum

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