Islamic marriage advice and family advice

He’s from a different culture…

There is no place for racism in Islam

There is no place for racism in Islam


I am currently very confused about the issue that I have. I have met a good practicing Muslim brother who is of good character, and possesses all the qualities a female Muslim should look for in a spouse. He is pious, of good deen and brings the best out in me religiously. I believe that he will be able to bring me closer to Allah swt through our marriage. The only problem is that he is not of the same culture as I am. To me, this is not an issue what so ever as Allah swt strictly tells us in his Holy Book that we must not go back to the days of ignorance and create tribalism, We are all the same and are descendants of Adam pbuh. Now, my parents are very old school and back minded you can say. As soon as they hear his culture they will decline and not want to listen without even knowing the good qualities this man holds. I Have recently told my mother and sister about this and they are not happy at all and have kept repeating that they wanted someone of the same culture as me. I do not want to disobey my parents and go against their word, but is it not unfair and unjust that they may say no to me, based purely on his culture? Is this not un-islamic grounds to say no too?

thank you.


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4 Responses »

  1. Assalam alaikum,

    It is incorrect for your family to reject a suitor based on his culture alone. On the other hand, you need a wali.

    What you need is a plan and capacity to follow through with it. You know how your family feels, but if you want to fight for your right, you may have to lose something in the process. You may lose how your family feels for you now or how they take care of you now. Being right can actually be painful and difficult.

    I suggest that you speak to the local Imam regarding the matter and if there is someone in your family/community that is a trusted person, you discuss this with them. Then, talk to your father about this and if need be, ask the Imam to speak to your father regarding marrying this man. None of this is going to be easy.

    The other option is to have the boy come and ask for your hand along with the Imam and/or a respected person in the community who can vouch for him and help keep the tensions down.

    Make lots of du'a and I pray that inn shaa Allah, the best result will come out of this, Ameen.

  2. Assalamoalikumn,

    If her father,brother doesn't agree for the marriage then who can be the Wali ? Is it allowed Islamically if some one other than father/brother/uncle act as Wali?

    Allah hafiz

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