Islamic marriage advice and family advice

He’s interested in me and Islam, is it wrong to talk to him?

break-the-rules

Hi,

I've got this mate and he liked me but he was a white Christian. Now he has started to think about converting and is really interested in Islam. Is it wrong for me (a Muslim girl) to talk to him over the phone and in person to discuss about religion?

Please help with this because my family thinks it's wrong for me to see this guy because he likes me as well.

I am really troubled by it. Shall I listen to my family or teach Islam like a good Muslim?

Please help.


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5 Responses »

  1. Salaam My Sister,

    If you seek to teach Islam, step one is to embody it's principles. Step two would be to establish a class or session in which those who wish to learn can access you in a professional format and not a personal one. The way to not teach Islam is to meet alone with a male and disobey the guidance of Allah and your family in one fell swoop.

    I do not believe it is acceptable to meet alone with this male and speak to him on the phone to discuss religion. If you are very concerned for his spiritual well being, then you may refer him to the mosque, or a male relative who can educate him. You may also give him a copy of the Quran to read. As you are not the sole source of Islamic knowledge on the Earth, there is no need for you to act as his religious teacher.

    To drive the point home, I would like you to imagine that you saw your father sitting with an unrelated woman in a coffee shop, chatting over a coffee and that he was doing this regularly. He is also chatting with this woman regularly on the phone. When you question him, he explains that this woman really wants to know about Islam and this is why he is meeting with her and speaking to her on the phone on a regular basis. Do you deem this a legitimate explanation for a man and a woman to spend periods of time in intimate conversation with each other?

    Whilst I acknowledge that you may have good, clean intentions here, you must also accept that those who sincerely wish to learn about Islam will learn about Islam. They will read, write, visit the Masjid, read the Quran and so on and so forth. What they are unlikely to do, is abandon their desire to learn about Islam because a certain person was unavailable for them.

    I advise you to follow the guidance of your family and let this boy know that what he wants to learn, he can find in the Quran which is printed and distributed in every language and country, online and offline throughout the globe. If he requires clarity on any topics, he can seek out his local Mosque or order literature online.

    Peace,

    Leyla
    Editor, Islamic Answers

    • "If you seek to teach Islam, step one is to embody it's principles. Step two would be to establish a class or session in which those who wish to learn can access you in a professional format and not a personal one. The way to not teach Islam is to meet alone with a male and disobey the guidance of Allah and your family in one fell swoop."

      Really excellent advice ma-sha-Allah. Leyla put it together for you in a tight package.

      It's clear that your interest in this man goes beyond just teaching Islam. What I gathered from your post is that you are hoping he will convert so that you can marry him.

      Sister, give up this course of action. Allah is the Guide; He is the One who puts truth in someone's heart. Maybe this man will find Islam one day, or maybe never. By allowing yourself to get closer to him emotionally you are setting up a dangerous scenario that will only lead to big problems.

      End your relationship with this man. Insha'Allah you will find a good Muslim man for marriage.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • P.S. I don't know where you found that photo, Leyla, but it's hilarious. Though I don't quite understand who would put up a sign like that. After all, the seagulls can't read it.

        Wael
        IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. (The Pagans), leaving Him, call but upon female deities: They call but upon Satan the persistent rebel! God did curse him, but he said: “I will take of Thy servants a portion marked off; I will mislead them, and I will create in them false desires; I will order them to slit the ears of cattle, and to deface the (fair) nature created by God.” Whoever, forsaking God, takes Satan for a friend, hath of a surety suffered a loss that is manifest. Satan makes them promises, and creates in them false desires; but Satan’s promises are nothing but deception. (4: 117–20)

  3. the Day of the Time appointed.” (Iblis) said: “O my Lord! Because Thou hast put me in the wrong, I will make (wrong) fair-seeming to them on the earth, and I will put them all in the wrong, Except Thy servants among them, sincere and purified (by Thy Grace).” (God) said: “This (way of My sincere servants) is indeed a way that leads straight to Me. For over My servants no authority shalt thou have, except such as put themselves in the wrong and follow thee.” (15: 36–42

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