Islamic marriage advice and family advice

High sexual drive and fear

Worried young woman

I was in my first relationship at the age of 12. We hugged and kissed.

After that I stayed single for 3 years but at the age of 15, I started off two more relationships online and they were worse. Both the guys asked for my nudes and I'm ashamed to say i sent them. Then they left me.

Alhamdolillah, soon I realized i was on the wrong path and asked Allah for forgiveness. However, I still have a high sexual drive and no matter how hard I try I can't stop myself from having sexual fantasies about my exes. I do not know what to do.

I know marriage is the only solution but I can't marry anyone yet because I'm still 17 and haven't even finished college yet.

The second problem is that I usually think about the person I'm going to marry. I'm not an introvert and I know I won't be able to keep my secrets from him including all my relationships because I feel like he will have the right to know everything. I also fear the fact that he may not understand me and I might lose him. I don't know what to do about both of these problems. Should I be talking to my husband about this? What if he asks me himself? And how do i keep myself from having sexual fantasies which i usually have when I'm angry?

It's been three years since I sent my nudes and I'm still scared that someone might leak them. Though I talked to my exes about this and they said they wont leak them but I still don't trust them...what do i do?

I really need help...thank you.

Broken Piece

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3 Responses »

  1. Salaam sister.

    I am pleased that you have realised that u have been sinning and that these relationships were haraam. That is a start. So well done and alhumdulilah.

    Now how to fix these issues. In my opinion there seems to be a number of issues 1. The images you sent coming back to haunt you I.e. being leaked. 2. Your sexual urges . Fantasizing about your exes 4. Marriage at a young age 5. Should you inform your future husband. Wow...Quite a number of things for you to be dealing with.....

    In terms of number 1 u can't do much about that im afraid you have to just put your faith in Allah that hopefully these images won't be leaked. And just get over it somehow.
    Number 2 & 3now - fast and pray; remain in wudhu, avoid music and movies. Keep yourself busy with halaal activities trust me all these things do work.
    4. Islamically I should really be advising u to get married I guess. 5. I would seek Islamic guidance from an Imam tbh.

    Be strong sis ask sincere forgiveness from Allah.

  2. Bismillah
    If you can't marry just do nikah so you can at least have sex it will be halal and keeps you away from sinning

  3. as salaamu alaykum Broken Piece

    Brother Ali gave you some good advice there sister; Do Nikah! Oh and do Not Tell hubby about your sins in the past as God keeps our sins Secret from our fellow man so should We. Your future husband is likely to Obsess about it, and it may Ruin your marriage for No good reason.

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