Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Hindu boy in love with a Muslim girl

islam nikah

Can I remain single?

hii guys this is hindu boy sory plz give me solution sisters nd brothers i am hindu boy and mygirlfriend is muslim both we loves each other so much.

but main problem is she love me after her engagement both we fall in love more even we feel already both husband and wife now but in her home she ask but her father is heart patient when she tell about us to her dad he got heart attack and now she tell heart breaking words i can leave u but i cant live withot my dad please leave me alone after 2 days she call and said i cant live without u sory ,and i say i cant live without u i dnt no guys i love her lot i tld her can i ask ur father but she not give permission and she tell both we pray to god to stop her marrige now what god take decision i accept that but i cnt hurt my dad.shes marrige going on may 12 2013 .

now i am also doing namaz please guys please give solution to stop her marrige silently bcoz i love her so much more than my life,and lastly she said after i mary sme1 i am going to die now tell what can i do ? how much i gt pain? my love is pure and true love sisters nd bro plz help me out this situation otherwise both are die guys i bend my knee plz give postive solution for my love.

i want to mary her she is also for her i can convert to muslim in my parents side ther is no objection for this,my parents understand my feelings but her dad not accept me please give solution for stop her marrige plz give postive answer please help me out of this problem plz plz i cant live without her both exchange feelings more.

1thing i dnt like run away i want convince to her parents and 1st i want stop her marrige immediately plese give me a answer fast positively what can i do.otherwise both can ready dor die for my love both are alredy attempt suicide once guys.both are contact in message only both are studying in same class now doing bca2nd year.now my love leave all to god both pray so much.please guys please do help for my love.

thank u please understand both heart feelings and solution postively i am wating........

hindu brother

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18 Responses »

  1. Brother,

    In Islam a women can't marry non Muslim man. That man need to convert to Islam properly then they can marry. But there are also some issue to convert. You have to be sincere from heart and mind, if you only convert for the sake of marriage then your marriage will be not valid.When you convert you need to follow honestly, You need to trust there is no god only Allah and our beloved prophet Muhammad, you need to pray 5times a day and so on I would suggest you to visit mosque to meet a qualified imam so he can guid you properly.   

    As far about the issue about her father I suggest tell her to speak to her mother or brother sister if she have tell her to explain everything clearly. Maybe if you convert sincerely something might change and if not it's better to let go peacefully. Because if her father still don't agree it's not good to give him another attack. 

    I really don't understand why did she even fall in love after her engagement it sounds like she is still confused about her feelings. And you also shouldn't keep in touch with a women when she is engaged with other person. In here there will be trust, heart broken to so many people at a time. 

    Try talk to her father see what happens if not better to let go in my opinion. Engagement it's not a joke it's a one kind of commandment you already given to eachother family. I don't know what els to say. Now I am scared if she marry with other guy she will jeep touch with you and married life will be doomed and if she married you and still her father is not happy your both life will not be doomed but you won't be happy. Because non marriage live happy if your parents are unhappy. 

    May Allah shows you both right path. One more thing ask her to do "ishtikara" she should know what's that. But You can't  do because it's one kind of prayer seeking guidance from Allah.

  2. Hi,

    I understand your infatuation towards her and the trivial time you are going through of your life. Please consider our suggestions whoever is going to comment on and please don't feel offended if it goes against you.

    Honestly after reading your story i felt as if i am reading a script of some bollywood movie/Shahrukh khan's movie. My friend reality of life is very different than what we see in movies. You are in a age where it would be very tough as a youth to control his/her likeness towards opposite gender. And you can't always make decisions depending on your emotions. You should understand that you come from a different religion, and the consequences of inter-faith marriages. I am sure in your culture, it would be very in appropriate to be in touch with someone who is already commited to someone else.

    Firstly, Islam doesn't allow a women to marry non-muslim men unless he reverts to Islam. I am not sure if you have plans to convert, but if your intention behind converting is to marry her will severe your situation. I would encourage you to learn about Islam.

    Secondly, her wedding has already been fixed and it is not allowed for a women in Islam to be in contact with any men other than her father/brother and uncles. Please refrain from contacting her, i am giving you sincere advice. If you go and see her father it would affect his health and it will turn into another big issue.

    You are very young and you have a career ahead of you. Stop thinking about her and let her continue her life. I know it would be very tough for you to leave her at this stage, but you will have to do this. I am sure you will find good match for yourself once you graduate/start your work who would understand your culture,religion and environment.

    Again i am repeating be strong and life is very different than virtual bollywood world.

    • Salaam,

      Sorry but maybe ur a little negative towards love but we cant judge someone elses situation just cuz we feel thats an honest answer.

      Instead we shud give words of encouragement, since this brother is making an effort, hes trying to be good person and also willing to come to Islam.

      Maybe ur stone- hearted and dont believe much in love but love does exist and Islam doesnt stop that either.

      May Allah help this girls father to a speedy recovery, and if this guys intentions are gud inshAllah Allah will help him too and its in their betterment.

  3. Well I think try to talk with her family but if it doesn't work you'll find a good person but if u really love each other get her fathers consent inshallah it will be okay!:)

    • No this will not be a good idea because her father has already had a heart attack just by hearing the news that she wants to marry him, he might get another heart attack if he tries to get her father's consent by visiting him or getting in contact with him. This will cause many troubles and affect an innocent person's life dramatically. It is understandable because in Islam, a woman can not marry a hindu man. The father is just looking out for the best interest of his child.

      The only advice I can give to you is if you are really sincere about Islam then look in to it and convert/revert because you want to not because of the woman you want to marry. If you do "convert" but not sincerely, then you are only fooling yourself because you can not fool Allah.

      Pray to Allah for you guidance before you pray to Allah to stop the marriage. As much as you love this woman and you feel like you can't live without her, you can. Of course you can live without her, you been living without her the days before you met her right? She's not the one that gives you food to eat or water to drink, she isn't the one that gives you air to breathe, she's not the one who gave you a wonderful supportive family, right? So why did you make her something you can't live without? Why does it seem like you worship her?

      Sometimes things happen in life that you just have to accept. I want to marry the man I wanted to be with but did it happen? No. Am I still living? Yes. Am I living well? Yes. Did at one point think I couldn't live without him? Yes and that was something I knew had to change. There are so many people in this world who loved someone but they other person ended up marrying someone else but it wasn't the end of the world. They found someone else, married them and continued their lives. Inshallah this will happen to you too if you are not able to marry her.

  4. Hello Dikshit Raj,

    The feeling you are having is common among the youth. But his does not last long. It will only bother you until you people see each other. When either of you leave and you don't see each other anymore, this feeling will gradually fade.

    A person does not get everything he or she wants in life. There is sonething called destiny, I suppose even you being a Hindu believe in it. Allah Gives us what is best for us.

    You must stop all kinds of communication with her and should not lead her into more troubles. She loves her father dearly and does not want to disobey him and cause him pain. You must respect her decision and walk on a different path that doesn't lead to her.

    Also remember that this life is temporary. It is a test from Allah in order to see whether we obey Him or we don't. You said you already do namaz. It will not awail you anything as long as you do not believe in Allah as your Only God and Muhammad as your guide. It is in Hinduism that many gods are worshipped. But Allah Is The Only True God. He Says:

    You worship not besides Him except [mere] names you have named them, you and your fathers, for which Allah has sent down no authority. Legislation is not but for Allah . He has commanded that you worship not except Him. That is the correct religion, but most of the people do not know. (Yusuf:40)

    O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded. (Tahrim:6)

    I urge you to learn Islam, in the process, you will also find it easy to forget her. When you have done it, you can accept Islam if you like it. I am sure you will love it.

    Do not worry about her, she will find a way. Just finally tell her that the life that awaits her is much better for her that something else.

    It is hard; but best for you, as well as her.

    Abu Abdul Bari
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  5. Assalaamualaikam

    I'm sorry to hear that your girlfriend's father has become ill. May Allah watch over him and aid his recovery.

    As a Muslim, your girlfriend should not be dating anyone (premarital relationships are not permitted) and is prohibited from marrying a man who is not a Muslim. This may seem harsh to you, but there are good reasons for these rules, including that it protects people from experiencing the pain you are now feeling.

    You say you would be willing to convert for her. If you do choose to follow Islam, this must be your own choice for your own sake, believing in Allah and his final prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him). If you believe, then Alhamdulillah you are Muslim. Islam is not an "only at festivals and legalities" religion; Alhamdulillah we have been given comprehensive guidance on how to conduct ourselves in daily life, including obligatory prayers, rules governing interactions between men and women, dietary rules... If you convert as a formality, you may well find these rules difficult to appreciate and follow, and this could lead to resentment and frustration.

    If your girlfriend does not wish to marry the man she has previously planned to marry, she does not have to. She has the right to say no. This has to be her choice though, as it is a major decision. Before she met you, this other man was already picked out, so there must be some qualities which made her feel he would be a good husband. Another thing to consider is that if, after deciding to marry one man, she has become involved in an illicit relationship with another, she may not be ready for marriage at this time.

    My advice could be summarised as:
    1) learn about Islam - read the Quran and about the life of our Beloved Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him).
    2) step back from this relationship and give your girlfriend space and time to help her father and decide what to do about her marriage.
    3) if she decides her faith and family need to take priority, respect that and walk away.
    4) if you become Muslim, you can approach her wali (guardian - usually her father) with a marriage proposal.

    I'll leave a quote here that I feel sums up how most people come to feel about illicit extra-marital relationships. It actually comes from an old sci-fi TV show called Star Trek, but when I was young it struck me as being significant:

    "In time you may well come to find that having is not so pleasing as wanting."

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

  6. Hi Dikshit Raj,

    Firstly my friend,

    The marriage of a Muslim woman to a kaafir(non-Muslim), no matter what his religion, is invalid according to sharee’ah and their intimacy is tantamount to fornication.

    Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave”

    [al-Baqarah 2:221]

    Secondly,

    I would like to invite you to Islam.

    We Muslims worship Allah - the only one GOD who created you and me and all that exists.

    Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “O mankind! Worship your Lord (Allaah), Who has created you and those before you so that you may become al-muttaqoon (the pious).” [al-Baqarah 2:21]

    Do you think the idols that you worship can listen to you ? can they hear your prayers? can they respond to you? have you ever asked these questions to yourself ?

    Everything that is worshiped instead of Allaah can neither bring benefit nor cause harm, it can neither create nor provide. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Say (O Muhammad, to mankind); ‘How do you worship besides Allaah something which has no power either to harm or to benefit you? But it is Allaah Who is the All-Hearer, All-Knower.’” [al-Maa’idah 5:76]

    “You worship besides Allaah only idols, and you only invent falsehood. Verily, those whom you worship besides Allaah have no power to give you provision, so seek your provision from Allaah (Alone), and worship Him (Alone), and be grateful to Him. To Him (Alone) you will be brought back.” [al-‘Ankaboot 29:17]

    Allah is the one who created you and me and all that exists.
    Allah alone deserves to be worshiped.
    HE has no father, mother, brother, sister or son.
    HE is not like us.
    There is no one like HIM.

    Allah says,

    Say, "He is Allah , [who is] One,
    "Allah-us-Samad (The Self-Sufficient Master, Whom all creatures need, He neither eats nor drinks).
    He neither begets nor is born,
    "And there is none co-equal or comparable unto Him."

    (Quran 112: 1-4)
    __________________________

    what is the purpose of this life? just study, earn, marry, children and die or there is more to it?

    Allah says
    “And I (Allah) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone)”
    {Quran 51:56}

    Do you know that this life is temporary?? and we will die and will be raised up again and there is going to be a day of judgement?

    Please Research about Islam. See how it makes sense inshaAllah.

    I want you to be saved from the hell fire and enter Heaven so I invite you to Islam.

    Here are some links for you where you can learn more about Islam inshaAllah

    -> quran(dot)come
    - > Invitation2Islaam(dot)wordpress(dot)com

    replace above (dot) by . and paste and search in your address bar
    __________________
    May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

  7. thanks bros and sisters here again i want tell smething she tell after i married that guy i will come your life because she gave divrce to him, and she tell god swear i will come in ur life and when she gave long gap she miss me lot and then she told me "i want you any cost in my life i am not leave you i swear to god " little bit i am happy but i dont no how shes father taken that divorce matter and of corse guys i am ready to convert islamic from my heart and for>,(please tell guys is there any problem when she given divorce?) my girl i am woring lot about her please give a solution. guys thanks brother abdullah thanks for all your suggestion.and finally i want to tell something to all guys "i truely say this i swear god allaha really all gods is 1 for me guys you know in quran also tell this god is 1 for all.but name is change. i belive in all guys and also allaha i belive allaha should that she come back in my life guys.please tell that my question in brackets.

    thank you all brther and sister

    • Firstly, you must understand what it means by "there is no true God but Allah". It means that He Is The Only One Worthy of being Worshipped and Has no Image. Like in Hinduism, they say god is one, but has many names, viz. Ram, Laxman, Krishna, Ganesh, etc. If what you are saying is that these names are also God, and Allah is another name, then that is not done, brother. Allah mentioned the words of a prophet from ancient times:

      You worship not besides Him except [mere] names you have named them, you and your fathers, for which Allah has sent down no authority. Legislation is not but for Allah . He has commanded that you worship not except Him. That is the correct religion, but most of the people do not know. (12:40)

      Allah Said in Surah 112:

      Say, "He is Allah , [who is] One. Allah , the Eternal Refuge. He neither begets nor is born. Nor is there to Him any equivalent."

      Allah Is Pure and Is as He Has Mentioned Himself. The Names that are mentioned in the Quran and Hadith (narrations of Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him) are the Names we know of Him. Other than them, we know no Names and we do not call Him by any name other than these (except the commonly accepted words like God and Khuda which have no reference to anyone or anything other than Allah).

      Brother, if you truly believe that Allah Is your Creator and you will die one day on order to meet Him and give account for your deeds, then this calls for rejection of every other god worshipped beside Him, even names that are not in Quran and Hadith. This is called TAWHEED (Singling out Allah for Worship) which is the duty of every Muslim. A Muslim can not be a true Muslim until he or she does this. When there is worship of anything or anyone beside Allah, then Tawheed is absent. Because Shirk (polytheism) and Tawheed can not live together.

      This was about believing in Allah. The next requirement is belief in the last Prophet - Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him, belief that he brought the perfect and complete message to all Humans, which is the Quran. This involves belief that all books that Allah Had Revealed before the Quran are abrogated and are no more valid, whatever heavenly book you speak about. In addition, Quran and Hadith are the only sources of the Religion and no other book can be referred to in this matter.

      This also involves obedience to Allah and Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him in every word they say and taking what the Prophet has given us.

      If you have believed in the above and agree to the conditions, even if "love" is a part of the reason, then you are ready to become a Muslim. Otherwise, you need to read and learn further.

      If you have become a Muslim while believing in the above, you are allowed to marry a Muslim woman. If she is divorced, she has to wait for 3 months until she can marry someone else.

      Abu Abdul Bari
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • @dikshithraj-

      you said "shes marrige going on may 12 2013 ."

      first of all did she get married ??

      • ya bro she going get marrige because for her dad after married shes mom tell after your marrige you can die i dont mind but you must may now thats why she tell after i marry that guy i will divorce is there any problem to her??

        • dikshithraj- leave her alone bro. what you are doing is not right. stop contacting her.

          __________________
          May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

          • i cant bro if i leave only for my death thats all guys !!!!!! she also cant leave me guys no 1 understand us in this world i cnt guys thnks for your suggestions.god is there for me !!! and my love

    • Bro one girl replied on you post on 15 April, 2013..her name is Nadia.. Do you know anything about her.. Please help

  8. I won't tell you stories. I want to give you simple answer
    1. A muslim can't marry a non-muslim. As they have said
    2. Bro Istikhara is best answer to it. What is Istikhara? It's like asking ALLAH what's best for you.
    Bro convert to Islam and I am sure there is a way for you. And try to explain how you feel.And she should marry you and not that guy. And how you can give her more happy life than the other guy. If she is already engaged i still suggest go and talk. Because if she married someone else and still in love with you this will ruin 3 lives. So better to talk to her Dad if that's doesn't work try her mother. You have chances till she get married.
    Best of Luck.
    But 1 more thing Let's just say if you failed to get i mean she married it's best to Leave her. I know the hardest thing is go away. I know it's Pain but sometimes the best thing to do is to walk away.

  9. Hey bro.....

    I am in z same situation am a Muslim girl and my bf is a Hindu...we love each ozer so much.....but our situation is a bit different my bf also accept to convert Into Muslim...as for me my dad understand my love for the boy he know zat I can do anything for the boy.....i understand you......i suggest u to give the girl parents sometime.....and don't choose any wrong path such as suicide.....becuz who know if in your destiny you will get ur love...best of luck

  10. Love is peace. and we have to spread Love in the world. God is one, no one seen them. Only we can feel power of our god and creations... So i come to the point of love and convert islam for her...I told you Love is feel by heart and you like her too... If she will be in your fate... You can get her. and marry her... And i believe in both side love and one side love... And i will be happy my love is one sided... Its feel like hurt when she ignore you and she dont know your value then very hurt... like you cant say anyone... but i feel its good to me... I think if we love her like trully and honestly then we have to see she will be happy in her life... Love is name of Sacrifaces...

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