Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Hindu girl ready to convert but afraid of hurting her parents

Islam Information Muslim

"Say: He is Allah, the One and Only! Allah, the Eternal, Absolute; He begetteth not nor is He begotten. And there is none like unto Him." (Qur'an, Surah Ikhlas)

I am a Muslim boy in love with a Hindu girl for past ten years . Initially, she has always agreed to be a part of Islam, but since the D-Day is approaching her nervousness is creeping up. She understandably does not wants to tell her parents about her conversion to Islam, as this you hurt them deeply. Thus, she has being insisting on us getting married by the Special Marriage Act,1954 in India, which I have vehemently opposed.

Personally, I am well aware of Islam and know for sure that one should not enforce religion on anyone. I have tried explaining her that these are the tests & obstacles Allah will put in front her during the process and she must overcome them. But my knowledge about Islam flattens, when she brings up the topic of her parents getting hurt. As Islam is a religion known for utmost respect to parents.

I really want her to convert to Islam, without enforcing my love on her. And I am also quite adamant in achieving this goal with all the right means, else will consider this as a personal & a religious failure.

Can you please advise, on how to proceed with this delicate issue? How can the parents issues be resolved. And how should I proceed with my invitation of Islam to her?


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13 Responses »

  1. Salaams,

    Brother, I can appreciate that you are not trying to be forceful with this girl as far as pushing her to convert before she's ready or willing to. However, where was your knowledge of Islam when you decided to continue a relationship with this girl, who is haraam to you? Hopefully you already know that you cannot marry any girl unless she is Muslim, Christian, or Jew. I think you do already know that, and that's why you are bringing this issue to us.

    I am not sure what you mean by "D-Day", but it sounds like you are referring to a wedding date you have already set with this girl? Astaghfirullah! Brother, the first advice I would give you is, stop this relationship with this girl immediately until she actually does convert. Truly, the issue of what she does with her faith is her own, and what you have to do out of your own taqwah is the more immediate issue at hand. Marrying her should not even be on the radar for you at this point at all.

    Brother, I have to be honest with you. What Allah wills for her and her guidance is completely out of your hands. It may very well be that she has no inclinations toward Islam truly in her heart, and she is using her parents as a reason to delay you from discovering that reality. Clearly she is trying to find any other way for you two to be married without it being halaal, and that's a big flag. Someone who really does want to submit their lives to Allah and please Him is going to be willing to make the sacrifices needed, trusting that Allah will take care of all details as they need to be. Ultimately, she is going to have to look at it like this: what's more important- what she will be accountable for on Judgement Day and her hereafter; or her parents opinion (which has no eternal weight at all)? She has to make that choice for herself regardless of who she marries or why she marries them.

    Brother, leave this girl in Allah's hands, and get yourself back on the straight path. Do you really want to please Allah? If you do, let this relationship go and make tawbah for the 10 years of sin that you have committed by indulging in it. Once you do that, move forward only in the direction Allah wills for you by not having haraam relationships with any female, and marrying a girl who is allowed to you.

    -Amy Editor

  2. Salamualaikum brother,

    Firstly, reversion to Islam based on love is not true reversion but a kind of enforced one. Because in this, if one does not revert, the other would go away or not marry. What is ideal is that you ask her to learn about Islam from an Islamic center in your city. If you do not know one you can ask me and insha Allah I'll guide you.

    She is afraid of hurting her parents, and does not want to revert due to this. This indicates her uncomfortable situation regarding the reversion. A person, when he or she wants to revert to Islam cares not about anyone but his or her Lord and His Messenger Peace be upon him.

    Duty to parents is of utmost importance but the Qur'aan says that one should obey the parents until they ask one to Worship other than Allah. And hence, if the parents want her to stay Hindu then she is not obliged to follow them.

    As far as the issue of hurting them is concerned, there are numerous incidents from the lives of the Sahabah where the Sahabi reverts to Islam and the parents protest. One such incident says that the mother stopped eating and said 'I won't eat until my son reverts to his old religion'. The Sahabi replied that he was ready to sacrifice even a hundred such mothers (if I remember the number correctly) but won't turn away from Islam.

    By the way, insha Allah, if she reverts by understanding Islam, then you marry her; then you will be her guardian and the most important person of her life. Parents would come after you. If they are hurt, they are hurt, but you can not displease Allah in order to please the creation, because if you do so, gradually, even the creation will be displeased, but if you displease the creation in order to Please Allah, the insha Allah gradually, even the creation will be pleased: As a hadeeth mentions.

    I hope the above has helped you. May Allah Guide the girl to the True Islam
    Muhammad Waseem

    • As-Salaamu alaykum, brother. Can you please direct me to an Islamic Center in my area of Washington, DC?

      Jazakallah khair.

      • Wa alaikum as Salam Kabdunafi,

        I am sorry, I saw your comment now. I had some problem with my email account and did not receive email notifications. You can try this:

        3415 18th street NE,
        Washington, DC 20018

        May Allah Help us all learn and act on what we learn

      • Aslamu alikum
        So nice that you people are wanting islam to enter into your hearts and souls. I wish allah make you and your whole family a pious one and grant heaven in eternity inshah allah.
        Make us all on one line.

    • Assalamu alaikum brother...
      I Have posted my query 2 weeks ago..under the same topic.
      Can u provide me the details of Islamic Training centers (sunni) in a girl wants to convert to Islam?
      Plz rply,

      • Salamu'alaikum IndianMuslim,

        I again apologize for the delay. If you told me which city in India you are referring to, insha Allah, it will be easier for me. Because there are innumerable Islamic Centers in India.

        Muhammad Waseem

  3. I have a few very Hindu good friends, who reverted to Islam, were afraid of disclosing to their families, and still went ahead with becoming muslims - one decided not to tell his mom (his father died a few years prior to his conversion) bec he feels it "would kill her" and that is fine - as long as he is not harming himself or anyone else, practising Islam is between him and Allah - no body else's business.
    The other 2 : The guy was in med school and became muslim after reading/learning about it - told his family - they disowned him but he stayed steadfast and slowly they accepted him on his terms that being a muslim is what made him happy. The girl was 16 and was very sick and contemplated life and its meaning and had muslim friends, learnt about Islam and became muslim - her hindu parents did not like it, but grudingly accepted. Several years later, mutual friends introduced them and they liked each other an married Islamically and have been very happy mashAllah for almost 10 years and 3 kids later.
    So: depends really on what she is willing to take on if she truly wants Islam from her heart. This is her tru test of faith from Allah

    • first she has to convert to islam, then only you can marry her. It does not mean that you are hearting her parents, but you are bringing her to the right way. if she is ready to marry then you can marry her, her parents will definitely accept you after some time. But beware of any threat from her family side...

  4. Aslam-u-alikum
    well to see you people are making a great effort over here.
    Need a favour
    i want to get married
    could you arrange a girl who recently got into islam. who is hard following islam ro that it will help me ot.
    Any girl from european or american nation.
    I want to xplore my faith.
    Allah knew my idea beìnd it.

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