Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Hopeless and stuck in my past

Change your heart to change your life

Asalam O Alaikum,

I want to live normally by thanking ALLAH and all that. But the problem is i am stuck in my past. Many worst things happened with me and now i am stuck , crying, losing hope and wishing to end this life, Its not that i don't want to live, i want to live but i don't want to live this life i mean the way it is. i want to change it but no use. I met a boy, changed my thoughts then he left without any reason. I wonder he is a good guy in his life but what he did with me was unfair so what does he deserve? Punishment as his act damaged me completely or forgiveness as it saved my future? But he is not guilty at all for his act otherwise he would have come to me or contact me but he didn't and it has been months.

In my previous post i asked some questions which everyone answered  marvelously but my life is not changing. What is the use of that soul tumor to them who did wrong with me as the damaged has done and no one is guilty for that. Just my life is ruined.  i can't forget all that as it is like a night mare and heart ache to me. I want to forget everything and enjoy this life but that damage is not letting me.

Why should i divert my mind? Why not that people feel guilty and relax me? They did wrong and i should keep myself busy. I am becoming negative as i can't see any  end of my sufferings. I see them daily and i feel bad for myself as they hurt me and i couldn't do anything and everyone is asking me to divert my mind why not asking them that they hurt me?

I want to live happy? Don't i have a right but...

Please pray for me and for everyone who is in pain.

ALLAH bless us all

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8 Responses »

  1. Wa 'alaikum as-salaam warahmatullahi wabarakaatuh sister,

    Perhaps, the reason why everyone is asking you to divert your mind is because that is the ONLY way, from which you could find peace and true happiness. If you really want to be happy, then that's what you really need to do. Divert your mind to Allah. He is the Only One Who loves you truly, and He is The Only One you can love for real--your love for anyone else should be because they also love Him, and He loves them. Put your love of Allah above your love for everyone. Accept in your life, whoever follows His path, and kick out anyone who does not follow His path. Those who deliberately hurt your feelings are clearly not following the path of Allah, and therefore they don't deserve a precious person like you at all. This is short, however, it contains truth about how to be free from many disappointments in this world.

    • MasAllah I agree with this its so true.

    • To be honest it's just a saying that you are precious that's why people just leave you because they can't afford you... If that so i don't want to be a precious one...
      From my childhood i am diverting my mind from problems, i am trying to live happily but the things are just not changing then when i felt in love that person also left me as he was a player and my time period was over for him...
      Happiness and peace by diverting my mind i am not getting any as it's been months probably years that i am asking ALLAH something but i am not getting that...
      The answer of that what i got was that may be that thing is not good for you but what could be the harm as without that i am a complete mess and my life is just like passing days not living them...
      You tell me what could be harm in the loving family that i want, that guy that i love...

      Brother Issah, i am grateful for your words and i really appreciate that... I want to live like that and don't want to die a sinner but am i not allowed to get theses things i wrote?
      I try to help everyone who needs that, i am not just whistle blowing my deeds because i know i am a great sinner but if i want little peace and happiness am i not allowed for that?
      I love them all and in return i just get tears and heart-ache...

      • In order for anyone to be able to afford you, they need love and compassion. If they lack that, then making yourself cheap for them is like exchanging your life with disappointments--is this what you want by not being precious anymore? The pain of having such people stay in your life will be more painful than them leaving you, as you already know this.

        This life is just full of pains and sorrows and it's easy to come across many disappointments.

        1. Know that your mission in this world is to serve and worship Allah, not to be a slave to the world.

        2. Make your life revolves around Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, not around the world.

        3. Fall in love or be in a relationship through the halal way.

        4. Know that there is no living in this world without trails from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Therefore, be ready to lose things that are dear to you--this is part of the test mentioned several times in the Holy Quran.

        5. When the world fails or disappoints you, turn to Allah and trust in His awareness of your situation--your sincerity in His worship, is to rely on Him wholeheartedly.

        By following these principles, your eternal happiness should begin in this life to the next, inshaAllah.

  2. The reason people tell you to divert your mind is because that is really the only solution available to you. You may not like it, and it may be very difficult, but you cannot do anything to get others to feel badly about how they've treated you, nor can you do anything to make the guy in question magically change his mind and stop being a player as you say and marry you. You need to be able to accept that and move on. I'm sorry if this advice seems repetitive or useless to you. If there were other solutions people would surely have mentioned them to you. Unfortunately there are not. The best you can do for yourself is let go and move on. Good luck.

  3. The other thing I want to add is when you feel hopeless and in the past you have to move on and look at the present. You only live in the past if you allow yourself to think negative this way you dont see the good. Life is full of negatives and wrong people. Your not in the wrong, repent for your mistakes, ask Allah to guide you. Become a better person we are all living for a purpose in life. Don't waste time worry about things when you could be making time to become a better person for yourself. InshAllah within time you will see this, give it time and patience life is tough it was never going to be easy for anyone. We are all being tested by Allah and for this dont waste your pious time feeling the way you do.

  4. true abslutely rite

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