Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Hopeless, seeking dua for death

unhappy woman, sad and alone,

Salaam,

I'm hopeless. I'm looking for dua to read to die. I'm too scared to commit suicide and I do understand that it's haram, but I've come to the point in my life where sometimes I think it wouldn't be so bad either.

I have constantly been tortured. Ever since I was 16, I was married at a young age which was a mistake because the guy tortured me emotionally and physically. He only wanted his papers. For the past 10 years I never met the right person, it's like my life is a burden on me.

My immediate family has even gotten tired of me. I'm constantly treated horribly by my siblings. I have the worst luck in things. I grew up poor, and have the hardest time getting a job because I'm cursed. I'm constantly told by family how poor, broke and what a waste of space I am.

I can't take any more torture. I would rather die than hear any more of this. Please help me with a dua for dying in peace and ease. I'm young and have suffered enough.

-noorkh786

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41 Responses »

  1. ASSALAMALAIKUM
    NOT RIGHT IS YOUR THINKING-NOR THE RIGHT TIME NOR RIGHT THE SITUATION WHERE THIS MERCIFUL MONTH AND ITS GREAT ADVANTAGES-CHANCE FOR YOU TO COME CLOSER TO ALLAH- GRAB IT...

    WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE ARE THEY OWNERS OF YOUR LIFE?????????????????????
    THEY ARE NOT YOUR GAURDIANS NEITHER CARETAKERS NOR WELLWISHERS NOR HAMDARDS
    NOR THEY HAVE ANY BASIC MUSLIM QUALITIES-

    YOU ARE THE MASTER OF YOUR LIFE YOU ARE -As Allah revealed in the verse, "No indeed! We have given them that by which they are remembered [i.e. their honor, eminence and dignity]" (Surat al-Mu'minun: 71), this morality gives people their dignity and honor. Therefore, women who live by this morality will be respected and enjoy their deserved honor and dignity.
    ALLAH IS YOUR FRIEND NOT THESE USELESS PEOPLE-
    Muslim Women Are Dignified
    Even if her problems seem to go on forever, she never surrenders to hopelessness or worries when His help will come. Content with what He has sent her way, she maintains her patience and submission, knowing that something good will come out of it. She remembers what the Qur'an says about those who abandon their belief in such times. In addition, she recites "My Lord is with me and will guide me" (Surat ash-Shu'ara': 62), just as the Prophets did when faced with hardship. Throughout her life, her profound faith enables her to see Allah's compassion, closeness, love, help, and friendship at all times.
    Those who submit themselves completely to Allah and do good have grasped the Firmest Handhold. The end result of all affairs is with Allah. (Surah Luqman: 22)
    Not so! All who submit themselves completely to Allah and are good-doers will find their reward with their Lord. They will feel no fear and will know no sorrow. (Surat al-Baqara: 112)
    Life, as promised by Allah: "Anyone who acts rightly, male or female, being a believer, We will give them a good life and recompense them according to the best of what they did" (Surat an-Nahl: 97).
    Muslim Women Have Great Ideals.
    Allah mentions envious people and warns others about their evil: "Say: 'I seek refuge with the Lord of Daybreak, from the evil of what He has created and from the evil of the darkness when it gathers, and from the evil of women who blow on knots and from the evil of an envier when he envies'" (Surat al-Falaq: 1-5)
    As Allah reveals, Muslims know that they will be tested in this life through hardship, suffering, and insulting words: "You will be tested in your wealth and in yourselves, and you will hear many abusive words from those given the Book before you and from those who associate [others with Allah]. But if you are steadfast and guard against evil, that is the most resolute course to take" (Surah Al 'Imran: 186)
    knowing that Allah is ever Just and All-Knowing, and that "they will not be wronged by so much as the smallest speck" (Surat an-Nisa': 49). They surrender to Allah, knowing that He will expose any injustice, and so do not worry about any unfounded accusation.
    The Divine assent is sufficient. If He is your beloved, then everything is your beloved. If He is not your beloved, then the applause of the entire world is utterly worthless.22
    You should seek Divine pleasure in your actions. If Almighty Allah is pleased, it is of no importance even should the whole world be displeased. If He accepts an action and everyone else rejects it, it has no effect. Once His pleasure has been gained and He has accepted an action, even if you do not ask it of Him, should He wish it and His wisdom require it, He will make others accept it. He will make them consent to it, too. For this reason, the sole aim in this service should be the direct seeking of Divine pleasure.23
    Muslim Women Are Balanced and Measured
    Muslim Women Are Not Emotional
    Muslim Women Have a Genuine and Natural Personality
    Muslim Women Are Honest Allah reminds people not to lie:
    Do you not see how Allah makes a metaphor of a good word: a good tree whose roots are firm and whose branches are in heaven? It bears fruit regularly by its Lord's permission. Allah makes metaphors for people so that, hopefully, they will pay heed. The metaphor of a corrupt word is that of a rotten tree, uprooted on Earth's surface. It has no staying-power. Allah makes those who believe firm with the Firm Word in the life of this world and the Hereafter. But Allah misguides the wrongdoers. Allah does whatever He wills. (Surah Ibrahim: 24-27)
    .Muslim Women Are Brave.......O you who believe! Show integrity for the sake of Allah, bearing witness with justice. Do not let hatred for a people incite you into not being just. Be just. That is closer to heedfulness. Have fear of Allah. Allah is aware of what you do. (Surat al-Ma'ida: 8)
    Muslim Women Refrain from Empty Words and Deeds
    Allah defines the believers as "those who turn away from worthless talk" (Surat al-Mu'minun: 3) and "those who do not bear false witness and who, when they pass by worthless talk, pass by with dignity" (Surat al-Furqan: 72).
    HOPE YOU WILL CONNECT SERIOUSLY TO ALLAH CARE NOT FOR DIRTY MINDED PRODIGAL PEOPLE WHO EVER THEY ARE RELATIVES OR OUTSIDERS-
    ALLAH IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU..PLS TELL FROM WHICH CITY U R TO UNDERSTAND YR BACKGROUND AND ALSO JOIN THIS PAGE MAY BE U WILL GET SOME FRIEND WHO CAN SHARE YOUR BURDEN IN THE DIVORCEES AND WIDOWS GROUP- https://www.facebook.com/BLISSOFREMARRIAGE?ref=hl
    REGARDS

    • Salaam Ali,

      Thank you for the response. That is very kind of you to include all that. It was definitely very helpful and especially in times when one feels very down and low. Thank you 🙂

  2. Noor dont feel that way easier said than done, what happens in life is a test from Allah to those whom He loves.. Better than getting tested in the gereafter Al Akhira! Scary thought. I actually was discussing this issue with a friend bcz im also in a similiar situation... Not the divorce bit, but i totaly feel like Allah only tests Me...! But its not that way, that man was nit destined with u 4eva as Allah felt hes not beneficial for your future- his loss as u worth more than that. Dont let a blip kill u, think of those who have no home, wealth, health, who suffer all the to me, u are a daughter, a rehmat, a wanted gift a woman a daughter of the Ummah of our Prophet SAW. I feel sorry for ur family who feel negative towards you, u are worth a million doll.....
    Noor if u feel low i'm a mental health nurse please email me personally i can help u, as u appear depressed and trust me suicide is NOT the answer hun. Take care and chin up.

    • Thank you for your response as well Aisha.
      Its hard, and definitely a struggle. I just wonder when it will be over. I dont think so much about the divorce part anymore, its the fact that being single still even after so long is testing my patience. Depression is a big part of it. My parents arent thinking Im a a burden in any way whatsoever its just sumtimes siblings can get frustrated too. I dont know how to msg you? Please let me know thanks for your help and hope things get easier and better for you as well InshAllah.

      tc

      • The same thing happening to me also .My parents pretending like they are thinking about me ,but they only taking my advantages .I have started work since underage and today I am 27 ,and yet virgin .I had lots of desire to have my o family .But today I feel like I lose my power of making child .i feel like I am disrespected to my own family when I am adsense to them.my parent uncaring will be reason my suicide .I wish I would have natural death before I approach to mysrlf

  3. May Allah open your ways and give you subra, just believe in Allah and leave everything to him cause he is the owner of everything and Inshallah everything will be fine, i am a testimony to that, we were brought up with our mother after the passing of our father, after a short illness without anything we could call ours, we had to sell everything to take our late father to hospital, i think i have the worse childhood ever, but Allhamdullilah, one day i just cried the whole night for Allah to make my life easier and since that day my life has become very smooth and the way thinks are going, am doing fine,

    what you should do is strive for the Akhera, this duniya is just a passing or testing zone for a while, but akhera should be our only goal as Muslims, and WALLA-HI your life will be easy,

    • Thank you Yusuf. Im very glad I came to this site today and saw such comments as I was feeling extremely depressed and low. Im sorry to hear what you had to go thru, I could relate as my childhood wasnt the greatest and ever since 16 is when things got even more tough for me. Today was actually that day that I cried a lot and asked Allah not to test me anymore, and told my mom that Im tired of being patient and that cried in front of her. I just wanted to know where do my parents duas go? And I really hope Allah does answer them as my mom probably saw how hurt I am (and dad too.)

      Im very happy for you mashAllah that things have gotten better and will continue to do so for you.

      Your absolutely right. And I have started to remind myself even more that this life is a test and temp., I even became so disheartened that I told myself that if I dont get married then maybe not this life who knows? I guess wen ur really sad you just think of all the worst things possible. I guess we all have a heart and thats just how Allah created us. I hope He listens someday.

      tc

  4. email address Deleted
    by editor
    Thats my email if u need to contact noor

    • Please refrain from posting personal contact details here. JazakhAllahkhayr.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com

    • You can send an email to a user here too.
      Just send me one there plz.

      • Sister,

        Sorry but it is against our website policy to facilitate the exchanging of contact details, especially of non mahrams.

        I'm sure Yousef/Helper can continue to help you on this website.

        SisterZ
        IslamicAnswers.com editor

  5. Noorkh786, Asalaamualaykum,

    I am sorry you have experienced difficulties and depression. When we feel so low, we should try to remind ourselves of others who have been through great difficulty and learn from their strength.

    Just a few examples:

    - Mohammed(sws) was orphaned, then lost his mother in infancy. In childhood, he lost his guardian grandfather as a young man, he lost his main support - his uncle and beloved wife, he lost his son. He was rejected by his family, they even tried to kill him.

    - Yousef(as) was thrown in a well and left for dead by his blood brothers, he was accused falsely and imprisoned.

    - Ibrahim(as) was thrown in the fire and rejected by his father

    - Yunus(as) was swallowed by a whale

    - Adam(as) was left wandering the earth alone without Hawa for years before being reunited with her.

    And to bring this subject back to people on our level, I know a young sister who was sexually abused by her father, I know a man whose wife was murdered by his own father, I know a sister who is being abused by her husband since 20 years and she cannot find a way out. I know sisters who have only just married at age 40, sisters who are nearing 40 and are no way near marriage (including myself), I know sisters who are without children, or who have lost their health.

    I am not telling you all this to undermine your feelings, I am telling you so that you can realise your blessings. After being in a bad marriage, alhumdulillah you have got away from your abuser. You have parents who you say do not make you feel burdened. You are still young. Accept what has happened in your past and live for now. Tomorrow may never come...then what is all this pain and worry about the future?

    Take advantage of the special month we are in. Allah never rejects the dua of his slave when he breaks his fast. So my dear sister, implore Allah to guide you, to give you strength to pass your tests well and have trust, faith and hope that He is taking care of you as you read this. Perhaps He wants you to use your situation to turn to Him and seek comfort in the right place, and to make hearty dua.

    Ask Allah, He is shy to refuse. Just keep asking, keep having trust.

    SisterZ
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

    • Ws Sister Z,

      Thank you for ur response. I am actually very happy that I joined this site and asked my question as it is starting to give me some hope. Its one thing to write down your thoughts, but to write them and have someones input thats something that one may find helpful as well.

      I dont feel as empty as I was the last couple days. Alhamdulillah I feel a little lighter, and after knowing that its not me thats the only one in this world that has problems theres ppl that have bigger problems, and may have gone thru more gives us sum relief.

      Yes things are a little tough, but I will continue to ask Allah (SWT) to help me. I was not a very religious person and I think that this is the time where it may be a turning point in my life iA.

      tc and I sincerely hope things get better for u as well.

    • Assalaamu Alaykum Wa- Rahmatullaahi Wa- Barakatuhu,

      My Dear SisterZ,

      Jazakkallahu Khayr for your valuable advice, I have learnt something from this.

      My Dear SisterZ, BaarakkAllah

      May Allah, forgive all of us and guide us to the straight path Ameen

      Was Salaam

  6. Mashallah these are such beautiful awnsers everyone gave....i

  7. I was starting to do better these past couple days and found some peace of mind.
    Unfortunately, there's always sumthing that has to come up.
    My father gets upset very easily & thinks it's ok to speak wutever he wants wen he does.
    Just today he says that since I'm unemployed I'm somewhat of a stress, and he did his responsibility as a patent to get me married to that abusive, selfish, and heartless man. I want to forget my past but somehow I'm constantly reminded sadly by my own father. I thought my dad understood how hurt I am by this, and how it feels to go thru such experiences. I try to take anger out on myself wen I'm said such things that its my fault this happened to me, that I'm divorced, it's like men r right and women hve no value in society 🙁 I'm tired of crying. I'm helpless, hopeless, I dnt wanna end up hurting myself and hurting my mom or other family members since there the ones that seem to care. My mom is my backbone and understands my pain. But my dad treats me horribly. He constantly calls me stupid, dumb, an idiot, says I got a college degree for no reason and even if I got married again that guy Wud probably treat me horribly. Everyday I feel like I'm slowly dying inside. I ask Allah do I not deserve to meet someone as simple as me, kind-hearted, and that can understand someone's pain?
    I don't think I have any more emotional energy to be hurt anymore. I'm lost, stuck, my minds blank sumtimes, there r days i wish I knew where my life was going.... Plz help 🙁

  8. I don't know what to ask Allah (Swt) anymore. It's the last ten nights of Ramadan, I want to ask for positive but then on hurtful sad days like this I want to ask for death as I hve in the past. I can't believe I'm writing this. I feel so sad seeing other ppl my age married with kids, or forget the kids part but loving spouses.
    Just wish Allah Wud help me.... 🙁 I guess He knows wuts even in our hearts.

    • Assalam O Alaikum sister,
      Never pray for death as it's a sign of despair. Allah (swt) doesn't like that we give up hope in HIM. Everyone has their trails and tribulation and have to cope with them; it's shaytan whispering in your ears to give up so that he can succeed. I hope this video will uplift your iman and may your realize your blessing iA.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wOxQbqzBVE

      Muhammad1982,
      Editor, IslamicAnswers.com

      • Ws.

        Thank you for the reply. I appreciate the video you uploaded and I will watch.
        It pretty much comes down to everything being a test from Allah.

        Noorkh786

  9. Noorkh786... This is the first time I am writing a post to this website as I feel I just have to after reading your post.

    Only YOU can pull yourself out of this situation. Only YOU can help yourself.

    What I suggest is the following:

    1) pray to Allah five times daily, Cry it out, it really helps. Pray for forgiveness, peace and a positive future.
    2) remove yourself from negative energy that is coming from your father either by, leaving the room or going for a walk with a friend. Ask your mum to speak to your father about his lack of sensitivity and empathy and to give you space and time to heal.
    3) start getting yourself out of the house, and do unpaid voluntary work at local charity shops, hospices, nursing homes, etc. this will help your CV and will also help your state of mind by helping others in need.
    4) Put yourself first, be kind to yourself, you have been through a lot and remember this will make you a strong woman, just think your future children will look upto you as a strong independent mummy! You have so much to give!
    5) let go of the past, release yourself from what has happened and look to your future..make a list of things you want to accomplish in life and aim towards making it happen.
    6) I would advise you to seek professional counselling even if its over the phone, sometimes in order to move on, its really beneficial to talk about your past life experiences.

    Remember life is a learning experience, only those like you that have been faced with struggles and hardship know how to really survive. We are all tested to different degrees by Allah at different stages in our life. Never loose hope, Allah is with you. You can get through this! So turn your fight/flight survival mode ON and start LIVING your life!

    • Mumtaz,

      Assalamualeikum:

      Reading your message really made me feel better 🙂
      It was a pretty tough day but I will say that messages from ppl like you do make a difference, keep up the gud work!

      Slowly but surely I am trying to change and pray. I think things like this will take some time, but in the long run they will be the most beneficial. I do do dua regularly, sumtimes when ones sad thats when you really ask Allah of what's bothering you in ur heart.

      Anytime there is negative energy around, I do try my best to avoid the situation. Well today it was hard but then again my dad did say something hurtful. My mom is a gud support to me and has spoken to my father abt this so InshAllah things will change.

      I am looking for volunteer work, paid jobs, and work at my University. Just wish it didnt take this long but its ok sooner or later Ill hear sumthing.

      This is an important point you bring up and Im glad you did. I am working on self-esteem, being kind to myself: by reading good books, and also I am receiving counseling which has helped me greatly adn Im sure it will continue too.

      This is very important as well, and probably the most essential of letting go of the past. I am so glad I came across your message this was the most organized, effective and thoughtfully written message Ive seen mA.

      I wonder what brought you to this site? I do truly believe everything happens for a reason, and Im so glad I signed up on this site on July 27th. If I may ask where are you from, and what problem are you facing..

      Thank you for your motivational words,

      Noorkh786 Xx

      • Hi Noor786,

        Im glad my words eased some of your pain. I strongly believe that we should always offer one practical and realistic solutions when in crisis and sufferring.

        Im a medical student and we have done counselling courses as part of our studies. We all feel low and down at times. My main issue is that with all the exam stress and constant hard studying, I never have time to give myself to heal. I just have to keep moving, upwards and onwards. Its made me into a strong independent person and I have learnt to only depend on myself and to never have any expectations from family or friends.

        Over the years, I have been faced with many difficult situations, so when I dont have time to tell anyone my problems, I silently browse sites like zawaj.com to seek some inspiration and words of comfort. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't ! Going to hospital and seeing patients with their medical problems is like someone slapping me on the face and making me realise that I should appreciate what I have, this does really help me to move on quickly.

        Recently, I sufferred heartbreak of a marriage proposal which came to an abrupt end. Its ended so suddently that my mind and heart did not even know how to process the sudden loss. Its going to take time for me to overcome 'what could have been' and I feel sad about it as I deeply connected with this person and shared a special connection. But I strongly believe that if what we had was 'real' our paths will cross again. & if not, then it was never meant to be and that Allah has something better for me.

        So Ive learnt to appreciate what I have and if anything extra comes along my way, its a bonus!

        Keep up with your positive attitude, nuture yourself, treat yourself, do whatever it takes to make yourself happy! May Allah bless you with everything you desire (Ameen)!

        P.S. I am always here if you need any further support.

        • Mumtaz, that kind of hearbreak always hits hard, and takes time to recover from. Your thoughts and advice here are appreciated. You might also be interested in my blog, IslamicSunrays.com.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

        • Hi Mumtaz,

          Im with you on that. I feel the same way as well, and inshAllah with time I think I will start to be of support to others as I have experienced certain things myself.

          Thats wonderful your pursuing a career in such a wonderful field as rewarding as medicine, you definitely will fit well in it but it seems you have some tough skin as well.

          I would think about what to do over the years, and my main support is my mom or some close friends and a younger sibling. I did get some good counseling and have been seeing one for the past year which is starting to help alhamdulillah.I have seen many things and which have made me appreciate life more, and with accomplishing certain goals I do definitely count my blessings and your rite that does help you realize that maybe where not in such a bad place after all

          Another thing that helped me over the past few years and gave me some hope was a story I discovered on ihubpages "How dua solved my problems and changed my life" I started to read what many readers were posting and listening to them as well. Sometimes helping others makes you feel better about urself and thats exactly how I felt at the time, but not as bad since I was actually working.

          I understand where you are coming from as I have come across certain ppl even after the whole divorce situation. Some of them I thought I connencted with and unfortuantely that wasnt the case. I truly believe Allah does everything for a reason, just like you said who knows you two may cross each others path again? Then again I guess you get more peace of mind when things are left in God's hands.

          Im looking forward to continuing my education as I recently graduated and want to pursue on to grad school. So things are slowly but surely getting better. Thank you again for your kind words, please feel free to talk wen you wud like and also I hope things get better for you as well and your better from the heartbreak. InshAllah Ameen.

          tc

        • Good thoughts brother Mumtaz, thank you.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • Jazak Allah khayr brother Mumtaz for your kind comments. I hope you will continue posting on this website, as I feel you have good thoughts to share.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  10. assalamalaikum-
    “O you who believe! Turn to Allah with sincere repentance.” [Soorah Tahrim (66): 8]
    AND WITH HIM ARE THE KEYS OF GHAYB NONE KNOWS BUT HE,
    And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea-NOT LEAF FLLS BUT HE KNOWS IT-. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record. (6:59)
    “He it is Who created the heavens and the earth in six Days and then rose over (Istawaa) the Throne (in a manner that suits His Majesty). He knows what goes into the earth and what comes forth from it, and what descends from the heaven and what ascends thereto. And He is with you (by His Knowledge) wheresoever you may be [al-Hadeed 57:4]
    http://www.islamawareness.net/Allah/wihn.html

    Hadeeth 1: Umar Ibn al-Khattab (radhi allahu anhu) relates that some prisoners were brought before Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) and amongst them was a woman who was frantically searching for someone in the crowd. When she found a baby amongst the prisoners, she took it in her arms, cradled it next to her chest and suckled it. So Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said:"Do you think that this woman would ever throw her child into the fire?" We said: 'By Allah, Never!' So he said: "Allah is more merciful to His believing servants than that mother could ever be to her child." [Saheeh al-Bukharee (10/426) and Saheeh Muslim (18/80)]
    The Prophet (peace be upon him) said,
    "Whoever loves to meet Allah, Allah loves to meet him."
    and to meet we must adhere to all the farz on men and women prescribed in Shariah-

    • Ws,

      Thank you for posting these ayahs and referencing from the Quran & Hadeeth.
      Reading these makes me feel much better and def. gives me hope Alhamdulillah.

      MAy Allah reward you

  11. Bismillahirrahmaanirrahim.

    Riyad as-Salihin (The Meadows of the Righteous)

    by Imam Nawawi

    67. Chapter: On it being disliked to wish for death because of some harm which has befallen a person, but there is no objection to it if it is because of fear of trial in the deen

    585. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "None of you should wish for death. If he does good, he may increase in it, and if he does evil, he may turn in repentance." [Agreed upon. This is the version of al-Bukhari]

    In a variant in Muslim, Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "None of you should wish for death and he should not pray for it before it comes to him. When he dies, his actions come to an end. A believer's life only increases him in good."

    586. Anas reported: "The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, 'None of you should wish for death because of some harm which has befallen him. If he has got to do something, he should say, 'O Allah, make live if life is best for me and make me die if death is best for me." [Agreed upon]

    587. Qays ibn Abi Hazim said, "We visited Khabbab ibn al-Aratt when he was ill and he had been cupped seven times. He said, 'Our companions who went before us have gone and this world did not cause them any decrease. We have acquired so much that the only way to spend it is in constructing buildings. If it were not that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, had forbidden us to pray for death, I would have prayed for it.' Then we came to him again when he was repairing one of his walls and he said, 'A Muslim is rewarded for everything he spends except for what he invests in buildings.'" [Agreed upon. This is the version of al-Bukhari]

  12. I want to die.
    I dnt hve hope cuz wen I start to hve hope sumthing has to go wrong in my life. I've practically become one of those ppl that gives up easily.
    Yesterday I was talking to a friend. This friend I've known for over couple months but we talk on & off. I've always been the type of person who's cared abt others problems despite the fact that my life hasn't always been easy. He's been hurt too so I've always been a gud friend by comforting him & assuring him that things will be better, and I'm always there for him as a friend. Somehow talking last nite I came across the topic aren't u human dnt u sleep cuz he nvr sleeps & that implied too being like a robot or owl type thing nothing weird.
    Anyway, he says no I'm a jinn. That scared the crap outta me! I told him dnt mess with me & joke like that & he kept on going on how he's really a jinn & everyone freaks out wen he tells them. I cudnt sleep was crying in fear, I was upset, and If he was joking y cudnt he admit. I just felt so unworthy of myself again. I'm nice or try to be yet ppl treat me like I'm some idiot 🙁 he just made it seem so real although I told him from this last week I been down & depressed yet he still thought this was fun to do.

    Sumtimes I wish I wasn't alive. Life has problems too many & if there r so many y live? I get that I'm alone, but wen I try to feel better and be myself things like this happen. I feel lonely, tired of living. Sumtimes I think that taking ones life away wasn't haram I Wud hve done It. But then my parents come to mind.

    Tonight is lailatul qadar from wut I hear. I dnt even know wut to ask Allah. My mind doesn't wanna say ask for death but rite now I feel like this. Wut else can one do with so many tests. It's almost like hitting rock bottom... 🙁

    • Sister,

      I strongly recommend you to get professional counselling to help you with your self esteem issues. Its nothing to be embarrased about.

      Your reaction to things does not seem proportionate to the issues you are describing. I believe you need to work on your personal development and refrain from being such close friends with non mahrams. Furthermore, your friend clearly doesnt know when a joke is not funny anymore. At the same time, if your friend is behaving like an imbicile, why are you kicking yourself? Let him be idiotic and you yourself move on to better things. Its Ramadan! The last few nights and an odd night tonight. Instead of wasting your time talking to this person, focus on your relationship with Allah.

      Focus on the important things in life and let go of the negative aspects.

      SisterZ
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  13. Thank you for your response sister. I am getting counseling and trying to get better.
    Its easier said than done and I think its gna take some time. Just these days I feel like its really hard to meet gud ppl in this world. I dont want to be like this but at times I feel miserable. I guess my only other choice is to ask Allah (SWT) and get counseled like u said.

    I know that having non mehram friends isnt rite, but wen I say friends I dnt mean meeting up or anything its just talking or texting. I guess socializing is somewhat important to me as I am depressed.

    • Socialising is important, but choose your friends wisely.

      'Just' texting and talking with the wrong people can lead to problems, Especially if they are non mahrams and you are conversing with them at length at night.

      SisterZ

  14. Dear Sister,

    There is nothing permanent except change. Life changes. it you have had bad times, insha-allah there will be good times too. Just hold on. Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution. Instead of wasting time in thinking about the problems, they wont go away, so its better to think positive and (at least try ) to work to solve them.

    if you feel lonely, say Allah (swt) alone is sufficient for me. Think of the positive things you are blessed with.
    Try to learn more about our deen and practice the same in your life. I am sure, insha-allah, life will turn into good and positive. Be good to people. Use this life to do some worth of. You need to change your attitude and see wonder!

    When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.

    • Salaam sister,

      Thank you for your reply.
      I was doing gud for sometime and found a lot of help from this site. Recently I feel ike Im back to where I was. I feel down, depressed, and just sumtimes feel like giving up. Depression is probably the hardest illness to tackle, it takes a lot of patience and endurance. I dont come from a wealthy family so its hard to be able to make ends meet. I feel iike whenever I have spoken to a guy, they have turned out to be the wrong type.

      Idk what it is, my luck, just sumtimes I ask Allah why are ppl that dont wish anything bad for anyone tested so much? I always try to be nice to others, and am respectful to them as well but at times my patience is just getting less and less and dnt even care abt living anymore. I really dont know what to do anymore? I want to pray but I get angry about how much I have been tested, how much easier other ppls lives are and how happy they are. Yes, I have heard that we dont know what is exactly going on in their lives but being a divorced grl it breaks my heart to see that ppl younger than me are married and abt to have kids, or are married to someone they fell in love with. I do wonder y Allah has us alive if he cant show us any good times. 🙁

      Many times Im told to ask Him, and do dua, but nowadays I honestly dnt feel like doing dua for anything. Sumtimes I feel iike dying is being in peace then constantly being tested and somewhat feel like tortured almost in this world. I am seeking help for my depression, but sumtimes there are no answers to my questions and it makes me so angry as to why I was even born in this world? ;(

      For anyone else feeling similar to my situation, or has anything to say plz do. Maybe u can help a hopeless sister and may Allah reward you.

      • Sister, I'm wondering if you get regular exercise? If not you should make it a part of your daily routine. Exercise changes brain chemistry and has the same effect as a mild anti depressant. Also, try incorporating vitamin b complex, magnesium, zinc and omega 3 supplements along with a daily multi vitamin, into your daily diet. Yoga is great too. Eat more fish. It's also vital that you learn or engage in a new endeavour, such as a new hobby, skill or activity....doing so will also change your brain chemistry in a positive way.

        InshaAllah, with these additional steps, you may feel less hopeless and depressed. You may or may not get married, but you might find opportunities for life involvement that you can't see right now due to your depression.

  15. Run away from there.go away and do some work on shop and rent a small house and live peacefully

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