Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How Allah will forgive me for my sins, how I will get back my love.

Pre-marital/extra-marital relationships are haram in Islam

May Allah guide us all and bless us Jannah in the life hereafter.
I am a 19 year old girl,studying.My problem started three years back when I start talking to a random boy on fb we are from different cities,in my life i never wanted to have a boy friend or relationship i told him straightforward & we use to talk as a frnd one day he told me i am in love with you & i also start loving him but i use to avoid this we talk 24/7 because he used to give me a lot of respect whenever we talked. Naturally I started loving him because of that. After sometime i told him i love you too I told him that it was not possible because gf bf relationship is not recognised in Islam.we will marry if you were with me we will be forever we will marry But I used to see and talk to him everyday so it got really hard to stay away from him. Devil got the best of me and I used to talk to him all the time i was thinking if i stop talking to him i will die.
Long story short and I’d like to come to my point now… he told me two times to meet me but i used to afraid alot this is sin and all but when he was sad from me that you never meet me i afraid i will lost him i always think if i meet him he didnt like me he will leave me but at last i meet him after three years and i let him to kiss me on my lips & then we meet again was 2nd and last time he kissed me on my lips neck and breast.I let him to touch me.i never wanted to do all this but i cant tell him no for any thing i love him alot,I am sorry about the details but I need help. I always felt bad i thing i am the bad person in the whole world i love him alot but we dont talk now as he dont want i want him back i want to marry him i use to do alot of khatams he came back in my life we both get marry and i repent for what i did i really regret that i didnt follow islam rules. But loving him was neber in my hands the purpose of telling you whole story is how Allah will forgive me for my sin ? I use to offer my 5 times prayers what should i do please guide me. How i will get him back i love hom alot i used to cry all night i cant live with out him i want to marry him i used to read 101 times (qad shaghafaha hubann) daily darood sharef before & after. ( ha ya haqqu be haqee tankafeel)108 times ,surah quraish 3 times for making his heart soft.
Help me kindly
How Allah will forgive me.
How i will get him back.
Please help me...
Please pray for me that Allah forgive me😭

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3 Responses »

  1. Sister ,

    This relation ship was haraam and you need to repent sincerely . It seems he just wanted to have some fun with you and then he left .This is a lesson for you that boyfriend .girl friend relationship will only creates problems in life .

    I suggest you to focus on prayers, quran and listen to good lectures from Mufti Menk , Zakir Naik etc etc .

    Also fast if you feel sexually excited .

    If its possible try to put some effort to get married .Take help from some matured aunties in your families if you can't talk to your parents .

  2. #star on is right sister plse do your best to stay away from him . And get married ASAP so that you are away from Zina . You can't go back to him if he doesn't want to marry . You shouldn't be asking him to marry . But if he had good intentions he would have married you or meet your parents at least. Move forward with your studies

  3. Same situation with me but in my case the girl is the one that avoids me. i do the same thing that he did to u but the difference is that i feel ashamed of what i have done to her...i also kiss her on lips etc. but i do these things because in my mind i already thought that we will marry In Sha Allah.. She belongs to Pathan family and they are too strict for their daughters... her father said that "he will kill her if she ever talk to any boy" she,s then afraid and promise unintentionally to her father that i will not talk to him now...after that her mother got her hand burn whenever i tried to talk to her or tried to solve the situation and she blames me for this that i am breaking the promise and thats why my mother hands burn etc bcz she take oath of her mother when her father told her that he will kill her...
    i tried to convince her that everything will be alright its not because u talk to me it may be coincidental that she burn her hand while cooking but she keeps blaming herself that all this is because of she is not fulfilling the promise.. She too want to marry me but the fear of her family makes her to keep blaming me and herself for everything....she continues blame me for everything about her respect in family etc. but i don,t want any of this to happen am still trying to make some effort to keep her safe and show everyone that she had respect too so don,t react like this if she talk. But the problem is society they just thing about their culture first...that girl is totally now frightened and am trying to keep her calm and talk to her and telling her advises but she don,t want to listen anything she think everything is done bcz of me....
    now i ask myself and Allah what i have done to listen those words from that girl which i loved more than anything...i still love her...but her way of talking made me mad after the incident...whatever she says to me that i hate u etc. but the love for her in my heart never goes down....
    we both done zina we meet each other we touch each other and after this incident she is acting like she don,t care anymore what we had done with each other....its my first time ever that i touched a girl and i don,t want to leave her...but she don,t care....i study about it in quran hadees and told her that we done something and we don,t leave each other like that it may show some incident to our childs in future but she kept saying that i don,t want to live with u and i hate u etc. like seriously she offers prayer 5 times a day and she even don,t take this talk any importance that she had something with me that may turn in trouble in future for our lives.....she just saying that i am doing it bcz of my family and what u took zina for yourself?? she said she had done tobah. but i kept saying that its not the solution we have done something that can only be cover by marriage of each other.
    now i had done something and keep convincing her about it that we should be together bcz we both have something....i said to her that talk to ur brother about me and i will convince my siblings but we not tell about that we had done case of me i am ready and i will make my siblings yes for her....but she afraid of her brother father everyone that they may kill her so i don,t want to talk about it anymore and Allah will forgive us for what we had done....
    now the point is that u are saying this without any talk with ur family and i frankly say its not her fault its her family mental set that makes her totally afraid about talking this.
    then i said to her if u don,t want to talk to her family or brother let me do this thing i will make him convince for myself i will meet him and talk about u and everything in detail....but she kept saying that don,t talk to him and don,t come to my home with ur siblings etc. like she is now totally afraid that i might make trouble for her if i talk to her brother and family member about me and her......

    But what she,s doing is not the solution the solution is that we had done something we both are agree for marriage but she don,t want to talk to her family about it bcz of her family background and etc. the only solution for what we had done i think is marriage proposal to her family but she is not even try to talk about it due to fear of his brother and father and bcz of her mother health.

    i understand her situation and i will wait for her but she even not giving me the surety that she will marry me in future....she said that she will say yes to anyone if her father and brother find someone bcz now there,s nothing in my hand......Like what?? u don,t even care for that the zina u done may bite u in future, atleast try to talk about it with ur family its ur life dude what ur doing u know the right thing and u still doing wrong....if they ever try to kill u they will be answerable to Allah in the day of judgement.

    My Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) said that if u find the level of deen and level of character and conduct is okay u should marry both of them....
    am still advising her and still try to make her convince that she had done something and we both feel guilty for this in our lives in we have time we can do something that may not turn into trouble in our live in future by the proposal of marriage.
    If the parent forcefully arrange ur marriage then u should strike for it u should stand for urself for ur future life....even my parent tried to do my marriage forcefully they will be answerable to Allah that my child was not happy why u do this to him same condition is fall to her....if they are doing wrong they will be answerable but not we had to do something to make them convince bcz its the future life of both of us.

    now my question is that what should i do to convince her?? i said all the thing and ayat to her about what we done but she still not fearing of Allah and still not care for her future....but i love her and i don,t want that she destroy herself my making these foolish decisions.
    should i take my proposal to her family?? even if she,s saying that they will not say yes to me bcz they barley know me and she even don,t talk to them bcz of her fear.
    3rd is now my mind is full and am tired of this whole scenario what should i do to make peace....something that may change the way of thing about me and thing about this problem in the aspect of Islam....the culture the cast these things are now superior than his or her decision in our society....even my parents are like them but am still on my stance bcz it is about my future. She should also took a stand for this but she,s not doing this..

    now in this case boy is not cheating her boy is trying to solve in the aspect of islam but the society and her mind is not even thinking about it what should i do to make all of them convinced?
    the zina will destroy both of us and i don,t want that even not for me and not for her and the proposal i think the best option but she is not ready i don,t not why there is nothing hurdle between a talk.

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