Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How can I guide a man who once guided me?

Holy Book, Word of Allah, Message from AllahAssalam o alaikum dear brother or sister. I need help and guidance.. Two years ago i was in quite a mess, when i met this person. He helped me get out of the situation i was and we ended up talking. We began a haram relationship and things got bad. I regret horribly the things that were done, and repent gratefully for it.

Recently because of circumstances, he ended it with me, although we are still on talking terms. After our haram relationship came to an end, and we just started talking normally as friends, he helped me regain the connection i had lost from Allah Subhan a Wa'tala. As i came closer to Allah, he started going farther from him, and i feel a horrible guilt inside as if its my fault, since i was and am not strong in deen, i was unable to help him.

Now he is about to do something unforgivable. And i feel helpless since he refuses to listen to me. How can i help him?? How can i strengthen my relationship with Allah Subhan a Wa tala more,  to be able to help him?? I understand that talking to him is haram as well, but since he helped me come closer to Allah, i feel partially responsible for it and I will want to help him too. How can i? What can i do? Is there anything at all i can do? ..  Any sort of guidance or advice would be highly appreciated please.

JazakAllah kher.

-Regretful Human

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3 Responses »

  1. Walaikumassalaam Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatu

    The best thing you could do is make dua and the best time for that would be in the tahajjud prayer. However, be careful of the shaytan's trap to make you talk to him, leading to falling into the haraam relationship again.


  2. He probably used you. Got bored and left. Sometimes Allah sends good and bad people in our lives to get closer to him. I don’t know what you mean on how he helped you in your life struggles mess. I have come across guys who live a haram lifestyle sleeping and drinking but they given me good wisdom advice. Which helped me to appreciate myself and move on through struggles. I never had feelings for these guys, as they weren’t my type and into haram lifestyles. Unfortunately, that’s his loss. No one can change him unless he is willing to do himself. Leave it to Allah.

  3. Assalaamualaykum R.H.,

    It is not your duty to convert this guy's way of thinking. He was possibly sent your way as a test, and you already passed it by getting closer to Allah. So now you'd do best to leave well alone. If you still feel it very necessary to advise him and you know his family, you could talk to one of his family members about it. But aside from that, the brother above is correct in that the best thing you could do is make dua for him. InshaAllah he will return to doing good.



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