Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How can I win the confidence of her parents?

Asalaam-u-alaikum!

My problem is that I loved a girl for past 10 years and have been sincerely waiting for her. After a long patience I prayed to ALLAH and finally found that because of my dua that girl also started loving me. We use to have contact for like one and half years. I live in USA and she is in Pakistan and she is my cousin.

Now the problem is that her parents came to know that we both are in contact with each other and that we want to marry. Her mother (My aunt) was in favor of me but as they came to know that we love each other, they are now forcing her to get married to some other guy who is rich and stable as compared to me. And now our contact is completely finished.

My first question is that, if in Islam there is no restriction to do early marriages than why is it that they are saying that I am not stable even though I work?

And my second question is that can you tell me any strongest dua that can do some miracle and make them say yes to my proposal. I am reciting Surah Muzamil every day and surah Yaseen too. Besides I keep reciting Darood-Shareef and "Ya Lateefo" every time.

JazakALLAH


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3 Responses »

  1. Salaam,
    Your not in the wrong here, her family is, truth be told, its a cultural issue, its common in asian cultures that the family of the bride seek a wealthy and man of high stature, this is not islamically supported, if you both love each other then you should marry and islam is against forced marriages, so speak to your family and try and arrange something Allah will help you, the strongest dua is having faith in Allah, the more you put your trust in him, the more he will guide you, inshaAllah keep praying and he will guide you.
    Hope it works out.

  2. Arham,

    If you are financially able, buy a ticket to Pakistan and go and fight for her! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

    Salam and good luck to you!

  3. As salamu alaykum, brother Arham,

    To be in contact without both of your parents knowledge and without a wali is not good. Both of you should repent for not following the straight Path, ask for forgiveness ( Tawbah) and behave straight from now on.

    The main factor here is that you should involve your own family to approach her family, she will have to decide who she wants to marry, if she stays faithful to you, the fear in you will dissapear and you will grow confident towards her, but for this, your family has to make the right approach to her family, insha´Allah.

    Then she needs to know you are serious about your commitment, no other way of doing it, and you need to know she will wait for you, both of you need to be reassured in your commitment but done following the straight path, insha´Allah.

    Just a little advice if you don´t mind, when we want something and we pray to get it, we are saying literally that we know what is good for us and that Allah(swt) should give it to us, see what I mean?

    The attitude when we pray should be of complete surrendering to Allah(swt) as He is the All-Knower, He(swt) will guide you to the best for both of you, insha´Allah, when you stop reading with your mind put on your loved one and you begin to recite the Quran with your Heart completely surrendered to Allah(swt) you will notice a diference, insha´Allah. When we surrender, the noise of our wishes begins to dissapear, the clouds that darkened our sight begin to melt and we begin to listen and to see new paths to follow, Alhamdulillah.

    Other little advice, don´t let anyone make you feel down, you are a muslim man that works to earn your sustenance, that it is an honour and you have to feel proud of it, doesn´t matter you are humble, Allah(swt) knows what it is in the Heart of all us, keep steady in your duties as muslim and follow the straight Path, with this, insha´Allah, your Heart will shine as a million diamonds, which fortune will anybody appreciate most?

    When you approach her family, be quiet, don´t reply back to attacks, be firm about what you want and let them know with your behaviour, words and acts, that you are a man of honour, Alhamdulillah.

    Soon you will feel the need of asking directly for Allah(swt) guidance, remember to pray Istikhara, you have a link on the top of the page that will guide you, insha´Allah.

    All my Unconditional Respect,
    María
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

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