Islamic marriage advice and family advice

How can we find nikah partner(s)?


why is it so hard to find a muslimah to marry? also the are alot of widowed,divorced women out there and yet they refuse to be second wives. how can one find a muslimah to marry and how can we protect our widowed and divorced sisters if its not through polygamy?


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6 Responses »

  1. Assalaamualykum. What you are saying is true. I think that woman would want to have their partners for themselves, irrespective of what Islam is teaching them.

  2. Polygamy is illegal in most countries. Furthermore, most women have been raised in nuclear families (husband, wife, kids) with grandparents sometimes living with them if necessary. It is simply not the "norm" to live in a marriage where you share a husband part-time. So it is unrealistic for you to have that expectation.

    Besides, as long as it is illegal (in North America, most of Europe, Australia, south America, and parts of south east asia), it will not be acceptable. None of these continents are going to start legalizing polygamy.

  3. Salam.Yusuf,

    Just because a muslim woman is divorced or widow it doesn't mean they should now consider to be second wife. If they want to be the only wife in her marriage then her wishes and choices should be respected. You should move on until someone wholeheartedly doesnt mind becoming second wife.

    Best wishes,

  4. Assalaamualaikam

    We can find spouses through friends and family, matrimonial introduction services (some mosques run these), or even through meeting someone in a mixed environment and being impressed with their character while observing Islamic limits. If you're finding it hard to find someone with whom you feel compatible, maybe try widening your search criteria - make sure you aren't rejecting based on superficial matters and missing out on someone with the character and deen you want in a wife.

    As for polygamy, it's entirely a person's choice as to whether or not they wish to be in a polygamous relationship. There are legal reasons why women in some countries might not want to be a second, third or fourth wife - e.g. if their marriage is not recognised by the law of their country then they would have little legal protection if things were to go wrong. Polygamy in Islam also places obligations on the husband; he must be able to provide for his wives and treat them fairly.

    Midnightmoon editor

  5. You cannot force polygamy onto someone. It is not fardh. If you want to be in a polygamous relationship, go for it. But don't say that just because a woman is divorced or widowed she should automatically be in a polygamous relationship.

  6. I heard that most requests for polygamy come from women who want to become second wives. They are often from converts who find it hard to find a single man. If you go to a mosque, ask them if they have a list of women who wish to marry and accept polygamy. It depends on your requirements though, if you are too picky, you might not find anyone. I am sure there are women who would accept.

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